Dash Jokes

Following is our collection of dart puns and suprise one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Dash jokes for adults, dirty pinch jokes and clean towed dad gags for kids.

The Best Dash Puns

I met a girl at a club the other night & she told me she'd show me a good time.

When we got outside, she ran a 40 yard dash in 4.8 seconds.

100m Dash

A girl says to her friend "The last time I had sex was like the 100 meter dash"

Her friend says "What, over in 6 seconds?"

"No, with 8 black men and a gun."

Is it OK to hate certain races?

Try as I might I just can't get myself to like the 200 meter dash.

My last time having sex was like the 100m dash

There were 8 black guys and a gun

Girl: "My first time having sex was a lot like the 100 metre dash..."

Boy: "What, over in ten seconds?"

Girl: "No, eight black men and a gun."


Dasher, dancer, prancer, and vixen.

The four stages of Bruce Jenner.

What do you call several blonde hair blue-eyed men doing the 100 meter dash?

The superior race

Is it bad that I hate certain races...?

Because the hundred meter dash really irks me.

Having only ever competed in the 100m dash, what did the professional sprinter say after his first 200m race?

I've finally turned a corner in my career.

When is a door not a door?

When it is ajar.


Edit (back story): the origin of this joke came from a road trip back when I was in highschool (about 17 years ago). My buddy left the car door open and the dash displayed "the door is ajar". He thought it was funny, since we're use to seeing the "door open" icon and wouldn't stop telling the joke.

Not surprised it's been heard / told before but just happen to never hear it from any other source.

If you're ever in a hurry...

Put your fidget spinner on your dash, then just use the handicapped parking.


Did you know princess diana was on the radio during her car accident?

She was also on the dash, windshield and the hood

Is it wrong to hate a certain race?

Because I really don't like running the 400M dash.

My first sex was like 100m dash...

... with 8 black men and a gun.

What did the underscore say when he got up to leave?

Gotta Dash!

I dreamt I was being chased by a bizarre sentence with two poorly distinguished clauses.

So I made a mad dash for it.

Did you hear about Princess Dianas car crash?

She was all over the radio.
And the dash.
And the windshield...

Not paying for a meal is called a Dine and Dash..

Surely not paying for a haircut is a cut and run?

Did you know 'cyka blyat' is Russian for 'watch out'?

That's what I learnt from watching dash cam videos.


What do you call a group of impotent men running the 50m dash?

The olimpdicks

What happens if you take a popular website, add a dash of censorship, and allow the discretionary system of control to be based on the biases of individuals...

[This post is locked. You won't be able to comment.]

Is this a bad time to say that I really like certain races and absolutely hate others?

The hundred metres dash is my favourite. The marathon is awful.

I like to be positive

Even though I'm unemployed and recently got evicted, I could still destroy Stephen Hawking in a 100m dash.

What do you do when you have 10 minutes to complete your math test?

Geometry dash

Ordered takeout from Door Dash and offered the Dasher some fries.

"Nah, I'm good. I already had some"

I'm not racist, but some races are simply inherently more important than others.

For example, the presidential race is much more important than some 100m dash.

Some well-intended people like to use a lot of hyphens in their writing, but not me.

I prefer just a dash

A guy walks into a tattoo parlor

He gets a nice tattoo of his daughters name. The guy comes back the next week and gets just a dash on his arm. He keeps coming back each week getting another dash.

Eventually the tattoo artist asks him what he's doing. The guy replies "Keeping count."

"Of what?" the tattoo artist asks.

"How many tattoos I've got."

Got a morse code message the other day: DASH, DASH DASH, DASH DASH, DASH DOT.

It was a loss at sea.

1: Knock Knock! 2: Who's There?

\[5 seconds of silence\]

2: Oh it's a ding dong ditch(ding dong dash).

What's the British equivalent to hit it and quit it.

Bang her and dash.

Did you hear about the 100m dash?

It was a page turner.

The last time I had sex was like the 100m Olympic dash

Surrounded by 8 black men with their loaded guns

I was a dashing young man.

I dashed the hopes of my parents, my teachers, my rabbi...

What did the dash say when he failed his exam?

"I underscored."

I lost my virginity like I lost the 100 meter dash.

Slowly.

If you're chased by two poorly distinguished clauses

make a dash for it

I sprayed some Axe Wilder having splashed on a dash of aftershave Pryor.

People say I've got great scents of humor.

Today, Switzerland face Sweden in the World Cup. The strategy for both sides is simple:

Dash towards the enemy until they are neutralized.

I don't see why people dislike racial diversity

I'm getting bored of watching the 100 meter dash.

A good time

I met a girl at the bar and she said she'd show me a good time. So we went outside, and she ran the 100 meter dash in 10.53 seconds.

What do you call an English one night stand?

Banger and Dash

Why do Dasher and Dancer get extra coffee breaks?

Because they're Santa's star bucks.

If I buy a Prius, I'll make sure to put a bobblehead Yoda figurine on the dash

Then I'll have a toy Yoda in my Toyota.

If Princess Diana was a seasoning

She would be called Mrs. Dash.

Friend:"I hate these Cryptocurrency peope who always try convincing me to buy some Dash or sth"

Me:"Dude just hodl on."

Did You Hear About the Duquesne Running Back?

His 40 yard dash was only 4:30 but his vertical leap was 16 stories.

What do you call a shaky dash cam?

Daesh cam

Just broke my record for the 100 yard dash.

I'm up to 58 yards!!!

There is an abundance of turbo jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 49 funniest jokes and dash puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any getaway witze you can hear about dash.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes