Dash Jokes
67 dash jokes and hilarious dash puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about dash that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Laugh out loud with these hilarious Dash Jokes that will keep you entertained! Enjoy the best collection of jokes about smash and dash, Geometry Dash, the em dash, Rainbow Dash, 100 meter dash, breakers, racers, and darts.
Funniest Dash Short Jokes
Short dash jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The dash humour may include short ding jokes also.
- I met a girl at a club the other night & she told me she'd show me a good time. When we got outside, she ran a 40 yard dash in 4.8 seconds.
- How do I get rid of my 'Check Engine' light on my dash? I opened the hood and it's all there
- What do you call several blonde hair blue-eyed men doing the 100 meter dash? The superior race
- Why do Ska Bands make the best Door Dash drivers? Because if you order food they'll *pick it up, pick it up, pick it up*.
- Having only ever competed in the 100m dash, what did the professional sprinter say after his first 200m race? I've finally turned a corner in my career.
- If you're ever in a hurry... Put your fidget spinner on your dash, then just use the handicapped parking.
- I dreamt I was being chased by a bizarre sentence with two poorly distinguished clauses. So I made a mad dash for it.
- Not paying for a meal is called a Dine and Dash.. Surely not paying for a haircut is a cut and run?
- Did you know 'cyka blyat' is Russian for 'watch out'? That's what I learnt from watching dash cam videos.
- My dog just lazes around the house waiting for his next meal to be delivered. He's a Door Dash Hound
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Dash One Liners
Which dash one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with dash? I can suggest the ones about drawer and dock.
- What's it called when you apologize using dots and dashes? Remorse code
- What did the underscore say when he got up to leave? Gotta Dash!
- What do you call a handsome sprinter? Dashing.
- What do you call a British Bee Smashing and Dashing? A Honey Nut, Cheerio.
- What do you do when you have 10 minutes to complete your math test? Geometry dash
- A man dashed into a bar Haemmorage
- What did the bangladesh worker do when the light turned green? he bangla-dashed.
- What did the dash say when he failed his exam? "I underscored."
- Did you hear about the 100m dash? It was a page turner.
- I was a dashing young man. I dashed the hopes of my parents, my teachers, my rabbi...
- What's the British equivalent to hit it and quit it. Bang her and dash.
- What happens when Korean dictators are bad drivers? Kim car-dashing
- If you're chased by two poorly distinguished clauses make a dash for it
- I lost my virginity like I lost the 100 meter dash. Slowly.
- What do you call a shaky dash cam? Daesh cam
100m Dash Jokes
Here is a list of funny 100m dash jokes and even better 100m dash puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I like to be positive Even though I'm unemployed and recently got evicted, I could still destroy Stephen Hawking in a 100m dash.
Meter Dash Jokes
Here is a list of funny meter dash jokes and even better meter dash puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- A good time I met a girl at the bar and she said she'd show me a good time. So we went outside, and she ran the 100 meter dash in 10.53 seconds.
Fun-Filled Dash Jokes to Boost Your Mood
What funny jokes about dash you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean hash jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make dash pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Dash and Jack
Once upon a time, there were two best friends named Dash and Jack. They loved to do the same things together. If Dash did something, chances are Jack would want to do it too.
One day while they were at the park, Dash said to Jack: "Hey Jack, check this out!" He stood up straight and yelled "My name is Dash, and now I DASH OFF!" and he ran across the park for a few feet. "Now you try it!" he said to Jack.
Jack stood where Dash stood and yelled "My name is Jack, and now I j**...!"
If Princess Diana was a seasoning
She would be called Mrs. Dash.
Cop: Is that a radar detector I see?
A cop pulled me over the other day for speeding.
After giving me the ticket, he teases me a bit about my out of state plate and the fact that I'm driving a car that's in my Dad's name.
He points to my dash and asks, "Is that a radar detector I see?"
Me: I don't know.
Cop: Is that a radar detector I see?
Me: I don't know it's my Dad's car. It's just always been there, but it does let me know every time I pass a Krispy Kreme.
He smirked, said, "Good one. Now slow down."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
100m Dash
A girl says to her friend "The last time I had s**... was like the 100 meter dash"
Her friend says "What, over in 6 seconds?"
"No, with 8 black men and a gun."
What happens if you take a popular website, add a dash of censorship, and allow the discretionary system of control to be based on the biases of individuals...
[This post is locked. You won't be able to comment.]
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I don't see why people dislike racial diversity
I'm getting bored of watching the 100 meter dash.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Dasher, dancer, prancer, and v**....
The four stages of Bruce Jenner.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Englishman, Scotsman and an Irishman...
Join the crusades and have been caught in the Bazaars of Constantinople by the Saracen Army. Dodging in between the shops they spy an alleyway and dash down it. Seeing its a dead end they look for a place to hide. They notice three large wicker baskets they all jump in one and with baited breath wait for the soldiers to walk by.
The commander of the Saracen patrol isnt s**... and checks the alleyway spotting the three baskets and with his Scimitar pokes the first basket. The Englishman, expecting this says "woof! woof!" The Saracen, content walks up and pokes the next basket, "Meow! Meow!" says the Scotsman. The Commander moves onto the third basket, Paddys basket, gives it a poke... "Potato's"
A guy walks into a tattoo parlor
He gets a nice tattoo of his daughters name. The guy comes back the next week and gets just a dash on his arm. He keeps coming back each week getting another dash.
Eventually the tattoo artist asks him what he's doing. The guy replies "Keeping count."
"Of what?" the tattoo artist asks.
"How many tattoos I've got."
I sprayed some Axe Wilder having splashed on a dash of aftershave Pryor.
People say I've got great scents of humor.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Is it wrong to hate a certain race?
Because I really don't like running the 400M dash.
When is a door not a door?
When it is ajar.
Edit (back story): the origin of this joke came from a road trip back when I was in highschool (about 17 years ago). My buddy left the car door open and the dash displayed "the door is ajar". He thought it was funny, since we're use to seeing the "door open" icon and wouldn't stop telling the joke.
Not surprised it's been heard / told before but just happen to never hear it from any other source.
Just broke my record for the 100 yard dash.
I'm up to 58 yards!!!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a pornstar that comes in last place in the 100 meter dash?
Slow poke.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Is it OK to hate certain races?
Try as I might I just can't get myself to like the 200 meter dash.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Today, Switzerland face Sweden in the World Cup. The strategy for both sides is simple:
Dash towards the enemy until they are neutralized.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I'm not racist, but some races are simply inherently more important than others.
For example, the presidential race is much more important than some 100m dash.
Some well-intended people like to use a lot of hyphens in their writing, but not me.
I prefer just a dash
Did You Hear About the Duquesne Running Back?
His 40 yard dash was only 4:30 but his vertical leap was 16 stories.
Friend:"I hate these Cryptocurrency peope who always try convincing me to buy some Dash or sth"
Me:"Dude just hodl on."
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call an English one night stand?
b**... and Dash
If I buy a Prius, I'll make sure to put a bobblehead Yoda figurine on the dash
Then I'll have a toy Yoda in my Toyota.
Why do Dasher and Dancer get extra coffee breaks?
Because they're Santa's star bucks.
Got a morse code message the other day: DASH, DASH DASH, DASH DASH, DASH DOT.
It was a loss at sea.
Ordered takeout from Door Dash and offered the Dasher some fries.
"Nah, I'm good. I already had some"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
1: Knock Knock! 2: Who's There?
\[5 seconds of silence\]
2: Oh it's a ding d**... ditch(ding d**... dash).
Why do Dasher and dancer love coffee?
Because they're Santa's star bucks!
I ordered a sub through Door Dash
But when I answered the door, he just gave me a sandwich and left.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Football
The huge college freshman decided to try out for the football team. Can you tackle? asked the coach. Watch this, said the freshman, who proceeded to run s**... into a telephone pole, shattering it to splinters. Wow, said the coach. I'm impressed. Can you run? Of course I can run, said the freshman. He was off like a shot, and, in just over nine seconds, he had run a hundred yard dash. Great! enthused the coach. But can you pass a football? The freshman hesitated for a few seconds. Well, sir, he said, If I can s**... it, I can probably pass it.
