Darwin Jokes

Following is our collection of cairns puns and hummingbird one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Darwin jokes for adults, dirty sydney jokes and clean kermits dad gags for kids.

The Best Darwin Puns

What did Charles Darwin name his book about food?

*On the Origin of Feces*

So Darwin comes across a sad penguin in an airport....

He goes up to the penguin and asks, "Why so angry, you cute little fella?"

The penguin looks up to him and says "flight's delayed."

What does Charles Darwin use to moisturise his skin?

Evo-lotion.

Darwin wasn't always an evolutionist.

He slowly became one over time.

What did Charles Darwin say to the animals he discovered

"Naturally I've selected you all for dinner"


I completely support people's choice to not wear masks and gather in large groups during a pandemic.

So would Darwin.

When you don't qualify for a Nobel Peace Prize...

... Go for the Darwin Award!

So if Lucy died 3.2 million years ago after falling from a tree...

...does that qualify her for a Darwin award?

Some people just don't understand evolution.

I was talking to an Australian the other day who actually thought *he* came from Darwin!

All credit to Milton Jones for that one.

How did Charles Darwin die?

Natural causes.

Man this book on natural selection is really fascinating me

I wonder if there are any other books about the Darwin awards


Einstein, Newton and Darwin are having a small argument.

Newton, a bit annoyed, says "Guys, I don't think you understand the gravity of the situation".

Einstein replies, "I think I do relatively understand it."

On which Darwin says, "Please don't let this evolve into a big fight, aight?"

Why did Darwin love CSS?

Because children inherit properties from their parents.

What do you get when you mix Charles Darwin with Vladimir Lenin?

A Bolshevik Evolution

What did the darwinist farmer say to the other darwinist farmer?

Rise and shine, let's get this bred

A man is standing on a cliff and says to his wife I bet I can make it to the bottom faster than you! . She agrees to the bet and they both jump off at the same time. Who wins?

Charles Darwin

A local homeless man won the Mega Millions lottery today.

Charles Darwin is said to be on suicide watch.

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Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

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