Darling Jokes
123 darling jokes and hilarious darling puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about darling that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
This article shares the heartfelt story of a beloved husband, Ajit Mona, and his loving wife, Darling, and the humorous jokes they shared through their anniversary celebration. Read on to learn what these innocent jokes mean to their happy home and how they add joy to their marriage.
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Funniest Darling Short Jokes
Short darling jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The darling humour may include short sweetheart jokes also.
- Man "I hate the world and everyone in it. I have no patience for it. It's starting to make me sick". Wife: "what do you think about me?" Man: "oh you mean the world to me, darling".
- He: "I took a day off on Feb 14th". She: "Oh ! That's so sweet darling, I love you". He: "Do you think you can help me sell 2.000 flowers in one day ?"
- A guy walks in a library: - Do you have motivational books here?
- Yes darling, right there, 3rd row, the second shelf.
- Do you have any books closer?" - What is the difference between a wife and a mistress? The mistress says "Oh darling! That was *wonderful*!"
The wife says "Beige. I think we'll paint the ceiling beige." - Darling, I just called to tell you how awesome you are. You really are the love of my life…
– Sir – I'm sorry, this is a brewery!
– Oh I know… - Darling, what happened to the parrot? – Darling, what happened to the parrot?
– I dunno, Mommy, but I heard the cat talking. - A sergeant and two men from his unit walk into a bar 'Would you like to play pool?' The sergeant asked the attractive barmaid.
'No thanks darling' she replies. 'I'd rather play with your privates.' - Turns out my grandma is with WSB As I was leaving her house yesterday, she just gave me $50 and said "Buy darling".
- Faking it "Did you fake it this time, darling?" the man asked after making love to his wife. "No, dear," she replied. "This time I really was asleep."
- A strange woman approached me in a shady bar. She winked, and said "For $50, darling, I'll do stuff for you your wife would never do."
I gave her $50, got her to do the ironing.
Share These Darling Jokes With Friends
Darling One Liners
Which darling one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with darling? I can suggest the ones about sweetie and adorable.
- "Darling, your teeth are like stars." "So yellow and so far apart..."
- "Mom, where do tampons go?" "Where the babies come from, darling."
"In a stork???!!!" - Her: "Darling, can I go out in this dress?" Me: "Yeah honey, it's already dark outside"
- Me trying to impress my girl with big words Darling, you look absolutely... bovine
- Darling, do you smell anything? SO: no?
Me: me neither. Start cooking..... - What did Ferris Bueller name his donkey? Shane, darling donkey Shane.
- New York, Darling, can I go out in this dress?
Yes dear, it's already dark out. - Which director is Hollywood's darling? Michael Bae
- Darling, be an angel and let me drive. He did and he is.
- When wasn't Wendy Darling? When she Peter Pan-ts.
- How does a tiger survivor in the wild, my darling? They eat prey, Love.
- What's a moo hoo for a darling bull?
A dear steer. - Darling, why do you want a home phone?!? \- To search for my mobile!
- Opinions are like a**... I can't get enough of my darling wife's.
- Boy : Darling, let's play a game of r**... today.. Girl : No !! Boy : Perfect start !!
Cheerful Darling Jokes for Unforgettable Laughter with Friends!
What funny jokes about darling you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean beloved jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make darling pranks.
Blonde Bombshell
A blonde is angry with the tax department and decides to blow it up. So she puts a bag of bombs in the back seat of her Celica and heads for Canberra. Her boyfriend si worried about her. "What if the bombs blow up in the car?"
"Don't worry darling," she says, "I've got a spare bomb in the boot".
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My young daughter asked me this morning....
My young daughter asked me this morning, "Daddy, what were you and Mummy doing in the bedroom last night? I could hear a buzzing noise, then Mummy started to scream."
"Nothing, darling," I replied.
It was then I burst out laughing as my wife walked down the stairs with her half-s**... head.
My flight instructor told me this one. Nothing to do with flying.
A man's wife is staring at herself in the mirror and frowning. She turns to her husband and says "Honey, I feel fat, old, and ugly. I could really use a compliment right now." To which the husband replies "Darling, your eyesight is impeccable."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A soon-to-be-wed couple are snuggling in bed after s**... one night...
...The man suggests that they come clean about any straying that they may have done since they got together.
"It`s best to get this stuff out in the open before the wedding," he explains.
The woman replies, "Oh darling. Don`t you remember? We went through all this a month ago."
The man takes a deep breath and says, "Aah...yes...But that was a month ago..."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Men are greedy b**....
A married couple in their 60's are visited by a fairy who grants them both a wish.
"I want to travel around the world with my darling husband." says the wife. 2 tickets for a luxury cruise magically appear in her hand.
The husband says, "Sorry love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me."
So the fairy waves her wand and the husband becomes 92.
Moral of the story: Men who are ungrateful b**... should remember - fairies are female.
A wife sits with her husband, who is on his deathbed...
The husband says, "Darling, I think it's time... I have one last wish before I pass."
"What is it, dear?"
"About six months after I'm gone, I want you to marry Joey, ok?"
She sat dumbfounded for a second. "But, I thought you *hated* that man?"
The husband grabbed her hand and with his last breath whispered "I do."
Burglars are getting very clever these days..
Last night, my wife woke me up..
*Darling! Darling! There's a burglar downstairs!!*
So I go down, check every room and don't find anyone.
Then I realised I don't have a wife and when I went back upstairs my bed and tv were gone.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
m**...-in-law
A husband and wife are shopping when the
wife says, "Darling, it's my mother's birthday tomorrow. What shall we buy for her?
Do you think she would like something electric?"
"Sure," the husband says, "how about a chair?"
The Way Women Think
Husband's Message (by text):
"Darling, I got hit by a car outside the office. Paula brought me to the hospital. They have been doing tests and taking X-rays. The blow to my head though very strong, should not have any serious or lasting effect but, I have three broken ribs, a broken arm, a compound fracture of the left leg and they may have to amputate my right foot. Fingers crossed!"
Wife's Response:
"Who's Paula?"
A husband and wife are sitting alone on a hill...
...and the woman says "Darling, do you love me?"
The man says "Do you see all the stars in the sky?"
"Yes?"
"That's how many women I've slept with since I married you."
"But it's daytime. Only the sun is out."
"Yes. Only one: your sister."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Grandmas don't know everything.........
Little Tony was 9 years old and was staying with his grandmother for a few days.
He'd been playing outside with the other kids for a while when he came into the house and asked her,
'Grandma, what's that called when two people sleep in the same room and one is on top of the other?'
She was a little taken aback, but she decided to tell him the truth. 'It's called s**... i**... , darling.
Little Tony said, 'Oh, OK,' and went back outside to play with the other kids.
A few minutes later he came back in and said angrily,
'Grandma, it isn't called s**... i**... . It's called Bunk Beds.
And Jimmy 's mum wants to talk to you.'
An elderly man is with his wife who is on her deathbed
As she lay there, she says to her husband, "Honey, I must tell you a secret before I die"
"Shh, there is nothing you need to tell me." the husband replies.
"No, I must tell you that I slept with your brother, best friend and the neighbor." the wife responds.
The husband says, "I know this. That is why I poisoned you. Now go to sleep, darling."
A lady happily tells her husband, holding a testpack result. "Darling, I'm pregnant!"
Tears running the husband's eyes, he says "Hi pregnant, I'm dad"
A husband asks his wife...
Husband: Darling, if I lost my vision would you be my eyes?
Wife: Honey, of course I would.
Husband: If I lost my hearing would you be my ears?
Wife: Absolutely sweetheart.
Husband: If I lost my legs would you push me around in a wheelchair?
Wife: You don't need to ask. Why all the questions?
Husband: I just sprained my wrist...
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Look At Me Darling
Man Looked His n**... Body In Mirror And Said To The Wife Man: "Look 70 Kgs Of Pure Dynamite" Wife Smiled And Reply: "But Shame On The 5cm Fuse"
A Man asks his lover in a restaurant
Man : Honey, what do you love most about me?
Woman : I love your company the most darling!
Man : Wow really? that is so sweet of you my love
Woman : Um, it's still making money right?
*edit :forgot to mention that I remember this joke from Benny Hills show, not my own joke
*edit 2 : Benny Hills not Benn, autocorrect strikes again!
Marriage
Husband asking the wife:
-Darling, do you want to come with me to the gym?
*-Are you saying I'm fat??*
-No, I was just thinking that we should maybe...
*-Are you saying I'm lazy??*
-No, no! Calm down, I didn't say that..
*-Why, you think I'm hysterical??*
-No, I wasn't saying that..
*-So you are calling me a liar now??*
-God no! You know what, I go alone then.
*-Wait a minute! Why do you want to go alone!?*
Table manners
Teacher:"Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?"
Michael: 'Just a minute I have to go pee.'
Teacher: 'That would be rude and impolite. What about you Sherman, how would you say it?'
Sherman: 'I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back.'
Teacher:'That's better, but it's still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table. And you, little Johnny, can you use your brain for once and show us your good manners?'
Johnny: 'I would say: Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope to introduce to you after dinner.'
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The eldest of three siblings comes up to his mother and asks: "Mommy, mommy, why is my name Leaf?"
"Well, honey," the mother says, "it's because when you were a little baby, a leaf landed on your head."
Satisfied, the child goes away.
Later, the middle child tugs at her mother's hand. "Mommy, mommy, why is my name Feather?"
"Well, darling," the mother says, "it's because when you were a little baby, a feather floated down and landed on your head."
The little girl smiles and goes on her way.
A few moments later the youngest child runs into the room and says: "WARGLBARGLAAHRGLB?"
The mother says: "Shut up, Refrigerator."
Does God use our bathroom
A child asks, "Mommy, does God use our bathroom?"
The mother replies, "No darling. Why do you ask?"
The child says, "Because every morning daddy bangs on the door and shouts, 'Oh God, are you still in there?'"
Teacher to a 4 Year old kid: What's your Mom's name?
Kid: Mom's last name must be "Darling" because that's what Daddy calls her every time....
Teacher: That's so sweet. What's her first name then?
Kid: I think it's "Sorry"....
Hey darling, what would you like for Christmas?
"Oh... I don't know... maybe something that gets from 0 to 100 in seconds when I step on it?"
"So... bathroom scales?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My daughter came sprinting in to the house yesterday shouting 'daddy, daddy, I just saw two fairies at the bottom of the garden!'
Humouring her I asked 'That's amazing darling, what were they doing?'
She replied 'Sucking each other's c**...'
Honest Husband
A man was invited for dinner at a friend's house. Every time the host needed something, he preceded his request to his wife by calling her "My Love", "Darling", "Sweetheart", etc., etc. His friend looked at him and said, "That's really nice after all of these years you've been married to keep saying those little pet names." The host said, "Well, honestly, I've forgotten her name."
Wife and husband have bought condoms with different flavours.
- Darling, I will turn off the light, put one on and you guess the flavour.
As soon as he turns off the light, she takes it in the mouth and says:
- Gorgonzola!
- Wait, it is not on yet.
Oh Darling...
Oh darling, since you've started dieting, you've become such a passionate kisser…
What do you mean, passionate? I'm looking for food remains!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
"Honey, I think I'm ugly...."
So I pulled her infront of a mirror, stood right next to her and said:
"Darling, I mean look a that s**... smile, that beautiful hair and those eyes....Just wow. No wonder you feel ugly next to me!"
A wife comes home late one night
She quietly opens the door to her bedroom. From under the blanket, she sees four legs instead of just her husband's two. She reaches for a baseball bat and starts hitting the blanket as hard as she can. Once she's done, she goes to the kitchen to have a drink. As she enters, she sees her husband there, reading a magazine. He says, "Hi darling, your parents have come to visit us, so I let them stay in our bedroom. Did you say hello?"
HOW TO LIVE?
"Darling," said the young man to his new bride.
"Now that we are married, do you think you will be
able to live on my modest income?"
"Of course, dearest, no trouble," she answered. "But
what will you live on?"
A woman giddily asks her husband...
"Honey, if you could pick any number to represent me, what would it be?"
"Pi," said the husband.
"Oh!" she replied "That's interesting. Does it have something to do with circles?"
"No," he said. "But Pi is irrational, darling."
A husband asks his wife: If I died, would you marry again?
A husband asks his wife:
-
If I died, would you marry again?
-
Oh darling, of course I wouldn't. I'd go and live with my sister. And if I died, would you remarry?
-
No, I think I'd go and live with your sister too.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Husband and wife decide to make a password...
...for s**...,
they decide on 'washing machine'.
Later in bed that night husband says,
Washing machine.
Wife replies, Not tonight darling I have a sore head.
Half an hour passes and she feels guilty so she says,
Washing machine.
Husband replies,
Too late it was only a small load so I decided to do it by hand.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A woman threatens her boyfriend
A woman threatens her boyfriend :
"If you won't stop telling me that I'm fat, I'm going to leave you !"
- "Don't do this darling ! Think about our child !" says the boyfriend, trying to convince her to stay.
- "But we **don't** have any child !" eructs the woman.
- "Wait, what ? You're not 8 months pregnant ?"
Guy: Darling, from now on I will call you Eve as you are my first woman..
Girl: Honey, and I will call you Dalmatian because you're my one hundred and first...
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A newly wed couple on their honeymoon night are in the bedroom getting undressed
A newly wed couple on their honeymoon night are in the bedroom getting undressed when she says.
"Darling, now that we are married, I have a little confession to make, I was a h**... before we met, are you OK with that"
He replies "Of course I am darling, we hadn't met then and to be honest it turns me on,so tell me more
She says "Well, my name used to be Brian and I played for St. Helens"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Mom, is it true I was brought by a stork?
Yes darling, that's right!
Oh, so daddy is an impotent?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Fancy s**... Club
I found my self at a s**... club one evening. Apparently it was a nice one because when I pulled out a dollar bill to tip one of the dancers she promptly told me "sorry darling but we only take big bills here." without missing a beat I said "no problem hun, all I have are big bills." i winked at her, reached inside my coat pocket and stuffed my electric bill in her G-string.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two gold diggers are sitting in a bar...
The women are scoping out the men looking for their next find when a man walks up to the bar next to then and takes out a diamond-covered wallet.
"Hello there, you seem like a kind and interesting person! I'm Jennifer", she says as she goes in for a handshake.
The man replies "Listen, I know how you women are and you just like me because of my diamond wallet!"
She leans over to him, "No darling! It's what's on the inside that counts!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My darling asked me what I wanted for Xmas, and I said, "Nothing would make me happier than o**... s**...."
So that's what she gave me.
Nothing.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
She: "Wait for me darling, I just do my makeup...."
He: "Oh, you don't need makeup."
She: "How nice, you are so sweet."
He: "You need plastic surgery."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The wife looks at herself in the mirror and complain to her husband: I am so ugly and wrinkle and fat. Do I even have any good traits?
The husband put down his newspaper and slowly answer: Your eyesight is excellent darling
Old Lady: "Harold? What are you doing with my birth certificate at 3 in the morning?"
Old Man: "Oh, I'm just fawning over how beautiful your name is, darling."
Old Lady: "Harold! That is incredibly sweet of you!"
Old Man: "Well, what can I say? I'm incredibly lucky to have married the woman I love, and that she could have such a beautiful name as... uh..."
*squints and looks at paper*
"...Margret."
Last night, my daughter shouted downstairs, "Dad! My tooth has just fallen out into my drink!" "That's great, darling!" I said. "Put it under your pillow and see what happens."
A few minutes later she shouted, "Nothing's happened dad and now my bed is completely soaked!"
An aristocrat Bostonian lady hired a new chauffeur. As they started out on their first drive, she inquired:
"What is your name?"
"Thomas, ma'am," he answered.
"What is your last name," she said. "I never call chauffeurs by their first names."
"Darling, ma'am," he replied.
"Drive on - Thomas," she said.
(Rapp, Albert 1951. On the Origins of Wit and Humor. New York: Dutton. Pages 49-50)
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A woman asked her husband whether she was pretty or ugly
Woman: Darling, am I pretty or ugly?
Husband: Both
Woman: What?? What do you mean both??
Husband: I meant, you're PRETTY UGLY
A middle-aged housewife decides to donate her old clothes to charity
Wife: "I've gathered up some old clothes and I need you to drop them off at the church charity."
Husband: *Groaning* " Why not just throw them out? It's easier that way."
Wife: "Because there are people out there who are poor and starving that need these clothes."
Husband: "Darling, anyone who fits into your clothes is not starving."
Daddy, why do people hang horses
"Nobody hangs horses, darling," I consoled her. "Who told you that people hang horses?"
"I just heard mommy on the phone saying that her new boss was hung like a horse.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The little mermaid asked the prince: what so you like more-h**..., or v**... s**...? to which the prince replied:
Darling it's better
Down where it's wetter
Take it from me
A woman asks her husband...
about the electromagnetic spectrum so that she may help her son with his homework. She asks, "sweetheart, what comes after visible light again?" The father answers, "Ultraviolet, darling."
After 10 years of marriage, wife manage to discover 5 eggs and 5.000 euros on the cabinet.
\-Darling, I'm sorry, but I went to your office and found 5 eggs and 5.000 euros , what's the deal with it?
\-Well, how can I explain it... Since the beginning of our marriage, I would store one egg for each time you annoyed me.
\-Oh, that's so sweet! And what the 5.000 euros are for?
\-I usually wait when I have a dozen of eggs before selling then.
Wife: It's our wedding anniversary in a week, darling. How do you think we should celebrate?
Wife: It's our wedding anniversary in a week, darling. How do you think we should celebrate? -
Husband: With a minute of silence.
A husband died
A husband died.
A few years later, his wife died.
As she got to heaven she saw her husband and ran up to him with tears in her eyes.
"Darling, oh how I've missed you!"
The husband extends his arms, stopping her from embracing him and says,
"Woah there woman. The contract was until death."
An elderly gent was invited to an old friends' home for dinner one evening.
He was impressed by the way his buddy preceded every request to his wife with endearing terms such as: Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, Pumpkin, etc. The couple had been married almost 70 years and, clearly, they were still very much in love.
While the wife was in the kitchen, the man leaned over and said to his host, "I think it's wonderful that, after all these years, you still call your wife those loving pet names."
The old man hung his head. "I have to tell you the truth," he said, "Her name slipped my mind about 10 years ago and I'm scared to death to ask her what it is!"
When you're on a date, how do you politely tell a lady that you need to go to the bathroom?
"Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, who I hope to introduce you to after dinner."
A woman is walking home with her three daughters.
The eldest daughter turns to her and asks, "Mummy, how did I get my name?"
"Well sweetie, when we were bringing you home from the hospital, a rose petal landed on your head! So that's why we named you Rose".
The second daughter, now curious, asks the same question.
"Well darling, when we were bringing *you* home from the hospital, a *lily* petal landed on your head! So that's why we named you Lily."
The third girl asks "AAArrgghhrasfdg".
"Shhh, quiet now, Cinderblock".
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
In the middle of the night...
...a frustrated wife starts singing the national anthem loudly. What are you doing, darling? inquires the husband. Well, I was giving it one last shot, honey, replied the wife, the whole nation stands e**... when this song is heard.
A man was invited for dinner at a friends house.
Every time the host needed something, he preceded his request to his wife by calling her "My Love", "Darling", "Sweetheart", etc., etc. His friend looked at him and said, "Thats really nice after all of these years youve been married to keep saying those little pet names." The host said, "Well, honestly, I've forgotten her name."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Married man goes out w**.... Time gets away from him and at 2 am, he realizes his wife will be angry, so
he calls her on the phone and when she answers he yells: Darling, don't pay the ransom, I got away!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Not properly prescripted
- Granny, have you seen my pills? They are oval shaped with the initials "l**..." engraved on 'em.
- F*c**... them, darling! Can't you see there is a dragon in our kitchen?!
Wife makes cornflakes for her husband.
After eating, the husband says to his wife. "Darling I think you forgot to add cornflakes to milk. Please add cornflakes next time."
Wife: "I'll do that, but you have got to stop eating with the mask on"
Mr. and Mrs. Keaton notice the young man staying next door always kisses his girlfriend every morning before heading to work.
"Why don't you do that?" Mrs.Keaton asks her husband.
"Darling, I don't even know the woman."
A husband comes home one day and tells his wife he found Aladdin's lamp...
Wife: Oh my god, you're SO LUCKY! What did you wish for darling?
Husband: I asked him to increase your brain ten times.
Wife: Awww, you're so sweet baby! And did it work?
Husband: He laughed and said multiplication doesn't apply on zero.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A child walks up to their parents and asks
A child walks up to their parents and asks hey, mom and dad. Why did you name me Petal?
The parents smile and reply, When we got you home, a petal from a flower in the garden fell on your forehead . The child satisfied with the answer walked away.
The younger sibling came up and asked the same question.
Darling, we named you Droplet because when you got you out of a hospital, a rain drop fell on you head. Hence, Droplet , the parents replied.
Gharwaalalalaajahaha!!!! said the youngest child.
Oh shut up Refrigerator, don't be mean! the father yelled
A wife woke up one morning after a long restful sleep......
She stretches, and turns to her husband and says, you know, I had the weirdest dream! I dreamt that you gave me a diamond necklace! What do you think my dream means?
The husband thoughtfully responds well, you'll know tonight!
Later that evening, the husband comes home with a tiny package for his wife. Here darling, for you! he says. Excited, the wife opens the package to see what it was.
She pulls out a book called Dream Interpretations and Meanings .
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Sam's girlfriend asked if he had ever slept with a p**...
Sam says "Darling, i've never told you this, but you were my first and only. I have never been with any woman other than you."
Sam's girlfriend gives him a huge hug and kiss in relief. As they hug Sam says "So to answer your question, yes."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I encountered a m**... at a bar last night
although she is 57 years old, she is still very charming and s**...
we were drinking, chatting, laughing, and having a good time
then, she asked me flirtatiously
"have you ever tried a mother-daughter t**... before?"
I said, "Nope, not yet".
She drank a little more, and said, "well, darling, tonight is your lucky night."
So she took me to her place.
She took out her keys
opens her door
turn on the light
and she yells towards upstairs
"Mom, are you still awake？
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
As I crushed the painkillers...
As I crushed the painkillers and poured them into a glass of v**..., I looked at a picture of my wife. "We'll be together soon, my darling..." I said.
"Did you say something?" my wife asked from the next room.
"I'm on the phone to your sister," I said. "Your drink is ready by the way."
A farmer at the dinner table with his 2 daughters and his son
The farmer is sitting at the dinner table enjoying his meal. When 1 of his daughters speaks up: "Dad I have to confess something ...". "I'm lesbian". The farmer is a bit suprised but replies with: "That's ok darling". Then the second daughter also speaks up: "Euhh I'm also lesbian". To wich the farmer replies: "Does nobody in this house like boys"? To wich the son slowly raises his hand.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
When Joe, a nice man married for over 50 years died, his wife, Myrtle was devastated.
A couple of months later, Myrtle also died
Once in heaven, Myrtle anxiously looked for Joe. Suddenly, behind a Cloud, she could clearly see him with another woman.
She ran towards him, calling his name, "Joe. Darling, Joe"
Joe said, "Hold your horses woman, and don't give me that 'darling' s\*\*t. The deal was very clear: 'Until death do us part'."
