The Best 56 Darkness Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Darkness jokes. There are some darkness flash jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these darkness yo mama so dark puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Darkness Jokes and Puns
Why is six afraid of seven?
Six hasn't been the same since he came back from Vietnam. Every time he closes his eyes, he sees Charlie hiding in the darkness, dead bodies hanging in the canopy, and remembers the smell of blood and gunpowder.
When he sees seven, he is reminded of those days.
Too Shy!!!
During her annual checkup, the well-constructed miss was asked to disrobe and climb onto the examining table.
"Doctor," she replied shyly, "I just can't undress in front of you."
"All right," said the physician, "I'll flick off the lights. You undress and tell me when you're through."
In a few moments, her voice rang out in the darkness: "Doctor, I've undressed. What shall I do with my clothes?"
"Put them on the chair, on top of mine.
How many social justice warriors does it take to change a lightbulb?
Twelve, one to change it and the other eleven to start a support group called "recovering from the darkness"
An architect, a lawyer, and a hunter were sitting at a bar.
The three men were having a debate about whose job was the oldest.
"Obviously it's my job," bragged the hunter. "Cavemen got their food by hunting, which makes my job older than civilization."
"Yes," the architect replied, "but if you read the Bible, it says God created the universe out of darkness and chaos. This technically makes God the architect of the universe."
The lawyer simply smirked. "True, but who do you think invented darkness and chaos?"
I went to a blind fortune teller the other day
She looked into her crystal ball, and she told me there is eternal darkness in my future.
How many WoW devs does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Doesn't matter. They'll just nerf darkness next patch instead.
You ever notice how most stand-up specials have the comedian in darkness on the cover art? There's usually a lot of black in the posters.
Except for Kevin Hart's. There's only a little black on his.
A girl went to a doctor for a checkup....
During her annual checkup, the attractive woman was asked to disrobe and climb onto the examining table. Doctor… she replied shyly, I feel uncomfortable undressing in front of you. All right, said the physician, I'll flick off the lights. You undress and tell me when you're done. A few moments later her voice called out from the darkness, Doctor, I've undressed. What should I do with all my clothes? Put them on the chair, on top of mine.
All this darkness is making me feel like Hellen Keller.
What's pale, lives in darkness and sucks blood?
A tampon
Tunnel
Pesimist only sees the darkness in the tunnel.
Optimist sees a light at the end of the tunnel.
Realist sees that that light is in fact a train.
The train conductor sees 3 fools on the railroad track.
You can explore darkness daylight reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean darkness mordor dad jokes. There are also darkness puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
How many metal heads does it take to change a light bulb?
None. Darkness foreverrrr!
Are you afraid of the dark?
Just sing the opening line to "The Sound of Silence." Darkness will feel like you're being clingy and leave the room.
Asked my ex-husband once for song requests. He said he wanted to hear the sound of silence.
So I sang, "Hello darkness, my old friend...."
After God created 24 hours of alternating darkness and light, one of the angels asked him, "what are you going to do now?"
God said,
"I think I'm going to call it a day."
Me: Hello darkness my old friend
Darkness: I have a boyfriend.
Few Saturdays I switch off the light and stay the whole night in darkness
So that the neighbors might think that I've an active social life...
How many Hillary Clinton supporters does it take to screw in a light-bulb?
None. They like to live in the darkness.
What is a blind persons favourite song?
Hello darkness my old friend
Hello darkness my old friend...
I've walked into a wall again.
How many Canadians does it take to change a light bulb?
2.
One to change it and one to apologize to the darkness.
What's faster than light?
Darkness, my old friend.
If there is nothing faster than light...
...then how did the darkness get there first?
They always told me to look on the bright side,
So I stared into the sun now all I see is darkness
Going To The Movies
I told my wife I wanted to watch a movie about a billionaire playboy with a penchant for darkness, inflicting violence and dressing up in masks.
She got excited and asked, "Are we really go to see *50 Shades*?"
I laughed and told her I was talking about *The Lego Batman Movie*.
How many apple engenieres does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
No need for a lightbulb if we make darkness the standard
Chuck Norris is 77 years old today!
Do you think darkness is still afraid of him?
The pessimist only sees darkness into the tunnel...
The optimist sees the light at the end of the tunnel
The realist sees a light approaching into the tunnel
The train driver sees 3 arseholes walking over the railway
10 Bands Stevie Wonder Hasn't Seen, 1 is a lie.
* 1-9 bands other than The Darkness
* 10 The Darkness
The optimist sees the light in the tunnel, The pessimist sees the darkness in the tunnel, The realist sees the train in the tunnel,
The traindriver sees 3 idiots on the railway.
An optimist sees the light in the tunnel
An optimist sees the light in the tunnel.
A pessimist sees the darkness in the tunnel.
A realist sees the train in the tunnel and the conductor sees 3 idiots on the rails.
The Speed of Light is 3*10^8 metres per second. What then is the Speed of Darkness?
100 metres over 9.58 seconds.
How many Trump spokesmen does it take to change a lightbulb?
There is no need to fix the light. Darkness is modern day presidential.
The solar eclipse was cool to look at and all...
But when does this darkness go away?
I had a staring contest with the sun
I think I won, all I see is darkness now.
Breaking news: University Researchers Create Life in Lab!
Darkness, faulty condoms blamed.
How many Diablo 2 players does it take to change a light bulb?
Two.
One to change the bulb and one to ask Drognan about the strange darkness.
Dear Santa
I ask your help to cure my dyslexia by pledging my soul to thee, oh prince of darkness.
Hello Darkness My Old Friend...
Pessimist sees nothing but darkness in the tunnel.
Optimist sees light in the end of the tunnel.
Train driver sees two idiots standing on the tracks.
We fight in darkness to serve the light, who are we?
Electricians
I was on my bed, relaxing and eating popcorn, when I noticed my pillow was missing it's pillowcase.
I started looking for it in the darkness of my room(I still had a little bit of light). I saw a blanket-ish shadow in my peripheral vision. I reached for it, thinking it was the pillowcase. However, after pressing down on it and hearing the loud, crinkly noise of a near-empty bag of popcorn, I soon realized that was...
...not the case.
How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Ten. One to screw it in and nine to form a support group for Survivors of Darkness.
When we were kids we used to be afraid of darkness
However, when we grew up and saw the electricity bill we became afraid of light.
I can close my eyes and see the future
It's just Darkness though.
I watched in horror as my TV floated in darkness
I turned on the light, just in time to see the black man run away with it
The darkness in me honors the darkness in you.
Damnaste.
How many optimists does it take to change a lightbulb.
None. They just find light in the darkness.
God is talking to one of his angels and says
Do you know what I have just done? I have just created a 24-hour period of alternating light and darkness on Earth. Isn't that good?
The angel says, Yes, but what will you do now?
God says, I think I'll call it a day.
What did the flashlight say to the darkness?
**"Lighten up."**
A patient walks into an optometrist's office.
The optometrist starts the eye exam and casually asks her if there's any particular reason she came in for a checkup.
"Doctor, I think am having hallucinations. Every time I open my eyes, I see really dark things. Evil. Malice. Hatred. Plague. I am seeing the worst in everything. Nothing looks like it used to. It's as if everything I see is shrouded in darkness."
The optometrist sits back from the patient, confused.
"That's interesting," he said, "because from what I can tell, you see 20/20."
What is something you can say to praise a Christmas tree but shouldn't say about a woman?
Looks pretty in the darkness.
A pessimist, optimist, and realist are standing in a tunnel.
The pessimist thinks about the darkness surrounding them. The optimist thinks about the light they will reach at the end. The realist thinks about freight trains that might be near.
And the train conductor thinks about what might happen if these 3 idiots don't move
How many journalists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Three:
One to report it as an inspired government program to bring light to the poor.
One to report it as a conspiracy to deprive the poor of darkness.
And one to win a Pulitzer Prize for reporting that the electric company hired someone to break the lightbulb in the first place.
But in the end none of them actually changed the bulb.
After God created 24 hours of alternating darkness and light, one of the angels asked him what are you going to do now
God said, I think I'm going to call it a day.
Who sent Paul Simon and Art Garfunkel a friend request on Facebook
Darkness.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the darkness twilight jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working darkness in the dark piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.