Darkness Jokes
72 darkness jokes and hilarious darkness puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about darkness that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Explore the depths of the unknown with our collection of hilarious darkness jokes! Laugh your way through neutrino puns, iCloud quips, and hilarious beams of daylight! These jokes are sure to brighten up even the darkest of days.
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Funniest Darkness Short Jokes
Short darkness jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The darkness humour may include short dark shadows jokes also.
- Why does Batman only wear dark colors? Easy. Batman doesn't want to get shot. Why does Robin only wear bright colors? Easy.
Batman doesn't want to get shot. - In Pokemon, I never understood why bug types were supereffective against dark types. But then I thought about malaria in Africa and it all made sense.
- How many anti-vaxxers does it take to change a light bulb? None. They're happy living in the dark
- A PESSIMIST sees a dark tunnel An OPTIMIST sees light at the end of the tunnel
A REALIST sees a freight train
The TRAIN driver sees 3 idiots standing on the tracks - How many conspiracy theorists does it take to change a lightbulb? The real question is: who broke the lightbulb and why are they keeping us in the dark?
- After God created 24 hours of alternating darkness and light, one of the angels asked him, "what are you going to do now?" God said,
"I think I'm going to call it a day." - A joke my 8-year old made up: What do you call a chicken that's afraid of the dark? A chicken
- A dark skinned lady named Betty goes to the butcher and asks for some beef. The butcher replies: "Nooooo Black Betty, ham or lamb!"
- A boy asked his mom "Mom, What is dark humor?" The mom said to the boy "See that man with no hands? Tell him to clap."
The boy then said to his mom "But mom, you know I'm blind!" - Watching my daughter at the park earlier. Another parent asked, "Which one is yours?" Just for fun I said, "I am still choosing." She looked horrified.
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Darkness One Liners
Which darkness one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with darkness? I can suggest the ones about dark people and in the dark.
- What do you call a chicken that's afraid of the dark? A chicken.
- Food is like dark humor not every one gets it.
- What's the difference between a baby and a baked potato? About 140 calories.
- Why were the 'Dark Ages' so dark? Because there were so many Knights.
Just delete me. - What happens when Catwoman takes off her suit? The Dark Knight Rises!
- Q: Why can't orphans play baseball? A: Because they don't know where home is.
- Do you know why programers prefer dark mode? Because light attracts bugs.
- What do you call an artist in a dark alley? Sketchy
- Me: Hello darkness my old friend Darkness: I have a boyfriend.
- I can't afford to pay for electricity anymore... these are some dark times.
- Why don't orphans get offended by dark humor? Because it can't hit home
- Dad, do you know why it's so dark out? No sun.
- Why were they called "the dark ages"? Because it was knight time.
- Why does an ethiopian baby cry? It's having a mid life crisis
(Sorry If it's too dark) - Why is Dark spelt with a K and not C at the end? Because you cannot C in the dark
Total Darkness Jokes
Here is a list of funny total darkness jokes and even better total darkness puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- When somebody is totally angry, why not say:
"Yes, young Skywalker. Come over to the dark side of the Force." - The total of the food we had was a bit dark... Because we had "Dim Sum".
Darkness Memes Jokes
Here is a list of funny darkness memes jokes and even better darkness memes puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What do you call it when somebody steals a dark souls meme? A Riposte.
- A question about Black Twitter memes Are they considered Dark Humour?
Silly & Ridiculous Darkness Jokes to Spread Joy & Laughter
What funny jokes about darkness you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean dark ages jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make darkness pranks.
My wife is pregnant and my doctor asked me if I had ever been present at a childbirth before.
I replied, "Yes just once."
The doctor asked, "What was it like?"
I said, "It was dark, then suddenly very bright."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How does a Jewish mother change a lightbulb?
"No, that's all right. I'll just sit here in the dark."
Too Shy!!!
During her annual checkup, the well-constructed miss was asked to disrobe and climb onto the examining table.
"Doctor," she replied shyly, "I just can't undress in front of you."
"All right," said the physician, "I'll flick off the lights. You undress and tell me when you're through."
In a few moments, her voice rang out in the darkness: "Doctor, I've undressed. What shall I do with my clothes?"
"Put them on the chair, on top of mine.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How many tumblrinas does it take to change a lightbulb?
You may think that a burnt out bulb needs to change just because the room is too dark *for you* to see anything, so it *must* be changed, but I don't care, it's beautiful, you should respect its right to be burnt out and learn to be more accepting of darker rooms, check your filament privileges you ableist s**.... Anyone who disagrees with this is a burnt-out-bulbophobe and a darknessphobe. Thanks for being so understanding.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How many dead prostitutes does it take to change a lightbulb?
Obviously not 8, because its still dark in my basement.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
how many Americans does it take to change a lightbulb?
None; they're content to wander around in the dark pretending everything's okay.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How many dead babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Apparently more than 40, because my basement's still dark
Joke of the day about blondes.
Two blondes fell down a hole.
One said, "It's dark in here isn't it?"
The other replied, "I don't know; I can't see." :-D
A day in the life of an IT guy...
Customer: Hi, my computer isn't working.
IT guy: OK, what happens when you try to turn it on?
Customer: Nothing.
IT guy: Can you check to see if it's plugged into the outlet?
Customer: Uhhhh I dunno it's pretty dark back there...
IT guy: ...Can you turn on a light?
Customer: Nope. The power's out.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The pessimist sees a dark tunnel...
The optimist sees a light at the end of the tunnel
The realist sees two lights at the end of the tunnel
... and the engineer can see three idiots standing on the rails.
When I was a little kid, I was afraid of the dark.
But then I grew up and saw the electricity bill.
I'm now afraid of light.
Two blondes fall down a well
One says to the other ones, "isn't it dark down here" she replies, I don't know I can't see
Deep.
Pessimist sees nothing but dark in the tunnel.
Optimist sees light in the end of the tunnel.
Realist sees light from incoming train.
Engine-driver sees three idiots standing on the track.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why is 'dark' spelled with a k and not c?
Because you can't see in the dark.
Ba-dum-tss
Why isn't "dark" spelled a "c", instead of a "k"
Because you can't see in the dark.
You've all been wonderful.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Dark humor is like cancer.
It's even funnier when children get it.
How many dead people does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Apparently not 17, cause my basement is still dark.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Dark Humour is like anti-vax families
There's usually a dead baby.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How many corpses does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
It must be more than eight, 'cause my basement's still dark.
I was driving with my dad when we passed a cemetery. My dad goes in a low, dark, creepy voice, "I know something about this cemetery that you don't. And I was like what is it? He continued, "The people living in this town can't be buried here. I was really confused so I asked why?
He rasped, "Cuz they're still alive!"
While I was out shopping today I tipped in the store
a woman saw this and wouldn't stop staring so I smiled at her and said "sorry, it's been a while since I possessed a body." She looked horrified.
Events on Capitol Hill have gotten pretty dark
Any darker and the police might actually do something about it
A man and a woman are talking in the office.
The man says: "I'm so tired from working, I wish I could get a day off."
The woman replies: "Don't worry, I have a way of doing that. Just watch me."
The woman proceeds to hang from a pipe.
Suddenly, the boss walks in a says: "What in the world are you doing?"
The woman replies: "I'm a light bulb."
The boss then says: "You must've gone crazy from all that working, you can take the day off."
The woman leaves. The man follows.
The boss asks the man: "Where are you going?"
The man then replies: "I'm going home. I can't work in the dark."
A man runs home from work
The second he gets home he finds his wife of 20 years, takes her into the bedroom and throws her on the bed, and pulled some blankets over them.
The wife was shocked, he hadn't been this way since they were young!
Then the man then turns to her and says: "look! My new watch glows in the dark!"
A pessimist, an optimist, and a realist look down a train tunnel
The pessimist sees a long dark tunnel
The optimist sees light at the end of the tunnel
The realist sees that the light is an oncoming train
The train conductor sees three idiots standing on the tracks.
I was stranded on an island with nothing but dark red grass, dark red sand, dark red trees everything was darkred.
"AHHH!" i yelled "I've been marooned!"
A man bets his boss 5000$...
that he (the boss) has a pimple on his ass.
"No way!" - says the boss and accepts the bet.
He opens his ass to show to the man. The man says: "It's too dark here, move to the window so I can see better". The boss moves to the window. "Ok, you were right, there is no pimple on your ass". He gives the boss 5000$.
"But why would you do that?", asked the boss, bewildered.
"Yesterday I have bet your colleagues 10000$ that today at exactly 3 o'clock they would see your ass through your office window"
2 bats were sitting on a bench in the middle of the night and one turns to the other and says - I'm really thirsty for some blood
So he goes off into the darkness.
After a while he comes back with its mouth full of blood and the second bat says "wow where did you get so much blood in the middle of the night?!"
Then the first bat says "do you see that lantern pole there?"
"Yes" responds the second bat
"Well I didn't" says the first bat.
I hadn't seen it posted here yet so I gave it a try.
How do you make a winter solstice stew? Carefully add just the right amount of darkness, cold, and a pinch of holiday cheer.
How did the winter solstice defeat the darkness? With a little help from its merry friends and plenty of holiday cheer!
What did the winter solstice say to the darkness? "I shine brightest when you're around!"
What do winter solstice and a candle have in common? They both bring light to the darkness.
