The Best 31 Darkest Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Darkest jokes. There are some darkest jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these darkest puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Darkest Jokes and Puns

An Englishman, a Frenchman and an Ethiopian all sit in the hospital lobby as their wives are giving birth.

After a while the doctor comes out, invites them into the nursery where 3 babies lie in cribs and says: "Congratulation! You all just became fathers! But there is one problem. Due to a nurse's error the babies got mixed up and we don't really know which one who's."

The Englishman suddenly grabs the darkest baby and sprints towards the door.

The doctor shouts: "Sir! What are you doing!!!?"

The Englishman as he's getting farther: "I'm not raising no bloody Frenchman!"

I'm so much in debt, I can't afford to pay my electric bill...

These are the darkest days of my life...

It shouldn't be surprising our first black president was elected prior to Trump

It's always darkest before Don

In college, my roommates and I were so broke, we couldn't afford to pay the electricity bill.

Those were the darkest days of our lives.

In my college days I was so broke I couldn't afford the electricity bill.

Those were the darkest days of my life.


What's the difference between a Taliban outpost and a Pakistani elementary school?

I don't know, I just fly the drone.

Black sheep

A professor is sent to darkest Africa to live with a primitive tribe. He spends years with them, teaching them reading, writing, math and science.

One day the wife of the tribe's chief gives birth to a white child. The tribe is shocked, and the chief pulls the professor aside and says, "Look here! You're the only white man we've ever seen and this woman gives birth to a white child. It doesn't take a genius to figure out what happened!"

The professor replied, "No, Chief. You're mistaken. What you have here is a natural occurrence, what we in the civilized world call an albino! Look at that field over there. All of the sheep are white except for one black one. Nature does this on occasion."

The chief was silent for a moment, then said, "Tell you what. You don't say anything more about that sheep and I won't say anything more about that white child.

The Albino and the Black Sheep

A professor is sent to darkest Africa to live with a primitive tribe. He spends years with them, teaching them reading, writing, math and science. One day the wife of the tribe's chief gives birth to a white child.

The tribe is shocked, and the chief pulls the professor aside and says, "Look here! You're the only white man we've ever seen and this woman gives birth to a white child. It doesn't take a genius to figure out what happened!"

The professor replied, "No, Chief. You're mistaken. What you have here is a natural occurrence, what we in the civilized world call an albino! Look at that field over there. All of the sheep are white except for one black one. Nature does this on occasion." The chief was silent for a moment, then said, "Ok, ok, you no tell anyone, I no tell anyone."

In college I was so broke I couldn't afford the electricity bill

Those were the darkest days of my life

There was a point in time where I couldn't afford to pay my electricity bills

Those were darkest days of my life.

When we were in college, my roommates and I were so poor that we couldn't afford to pay our electric bills.

It was…the darkest days of our lives.

You can explore darkest reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean darkest dad jokes. There are also darkest puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


It is during our darkest moments...

That we need to replace the batteries of the flashlight

The Darkest Joke

What's worse than a baby in a dumpster?

... A baby in two dumpsters.

Travelling through the deepest darkest jungles of Africa with my man servant Jeeves ....

We broke through the dense undergrowth into a small clearing. There were eggs everywhere. I turned to Jeeves and said "This is obviously the work of poachers"

I once got into so much debt

I couldn't even afford my electricity bills, they were the darkest times of my life.

Hitler dies and meets god

God: You lead a terrible life. You slaughtered millions of people. You deserve to go to the darkest pits of hell.

Hitler: Okay, but can you just honor a wish of mine before I go to hell?

God: What's the wish?

Hitler: I want you to send the hero who killed me, to heaven.

Mr. And Mrs. Jones were on a safari

in the darkest part of Africa. They were walking cautiously through the jungle when suddenly a huge lion sprang out in front of them, seized Mrs. Jones in its jaws and started to drag her off into the bush. "Shoot!" She screamed to her husband, "shoot!" "I can't!", he yelled back "My phone battery just died!"

Some people say that 9/11 was America's darkest hour

but they got it backwards, 11/9

I asked a scientist what the darkest material on earth was...

He said, Sarah Silverman's monologue.


Bozo the Clown- The Darkest Joke Ever Told

A man goes to the doctor. He says, "Doctor, I've been depressed for as long as I can remember. The world is such a dark place. What should I do?"

The doctor says, "Go to the park and find Bozo the Clown. Everyone who goes to see him perform laughs, and everyone leaves him feeling happy."

The man responds, "But doctor, I am Bozo the Clown."

My friend asked me what my deepest, darkest fear was.

I said Well...

Oh come-on, You cant call Hitler a Racist,

All of the world's darkest people worked for him.

You know what the greatest thing about January 20th 2017 12:01 AM?

That is when its going to be the darkest before the Donald

2016's been bad!

But today is definitely the darkest!

Why were Huma Abedin's darkest fears about seduction by Bill Clinton unfounded?

Because ultimately it was Hillary who ended up showing her the Huma door.

An anthropologist travels to the deepest darkest rainforest...

to study a tribe untouched by civilisation.

As he is trecking towards the villiage he starts to hear drumming. The closer he gets, the louder it gets. It's relentless and doesn't seem to stop.

A day later he arrives at the villiage and gets introduced to the eldar. He immediately asks "What are the drums for?"

The eldar simply responds "The drums must never stop."

Throughout the night and the next day the incessent drumming starts to grate on his nerves. He asks around and every member of the tribe answers with "The drums must never stop."

3 days later he has had no sleep and is at a loose end. He approaches the eldar.

"I really have to know about the drums."

"The drums must never stop."

"Yes, yes. I know that. But why?"

The eldar looks at him and says "Bass solo."

The darkest part of the day

Is the night, deny it to me.

Why does Optimus Prime's alt-mode have headlights?

*To light our darkest hour...*

In our darkest times, it's important that we laugh the pain away.

And that's why I'm never leaving this mental hospital.


What's the greatest thing about having a mute friend with no limbs?

He will never tell my deepest, darkest secrets.

How do you find Calvin Broadus Jr's darkest secrets?

You Snoop, Dogg.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the darkest puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working darkest piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes