Dark Jokes

Funniest Dark Short Jokes

Short dark jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The dark humour may include short bright jokes also.

1. Why does Batman only wear dark colors? Easy. Batman doesn't want to get shot. Why does Robin only wear bright colors? Easy.
   Batman doesn't want to get shot.
2. In Pokemon, I never understood why bug types were supereffective against dark types. But then I thought about malaria in Africa and it all made sense.
   
3. How many anti-vaxxers does it take to change a light bulb? None. They're happy living in the dark
4. A PESSIMIST sees a dark tunnel An OPTIMIST sees light at the end of the tunnel
   A REALIST sees a freight train
   The TRAIN driver sees 3 idiots standing on the tracks
5. How many conspiracy theorists does it take to change a lightbulb? The real question is: who broke the lightbulb and why are they keeping us in the dark?
6. After God created 24 hours of alternating darkness and light, one of the angels asked him, "what are you going to do now?" God said,
   "I think I'm going to call it a day."
7. A joke my 8-year old made up: What do you call a chicken that's afraid of the dark? A chicken
8. A dark skinned lady named Betty goes to the butcher and asks for some beef. The butcher replies: "Nooooo Black Betty, ham or lamb!"
9. A boy asked his mom "Mom, What is dark humor?" The mom said to the boy "See that man with no hands? Tell him to clap."
   The boy then said to his mom "But mom, you know I'm blind!"
10. Watching my daughter at the park earlier. Another parent asked, "Which one is yours?" Just for fun I said, "I am still choosing." She looked horrified.

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Dark One Liners

Which dark one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with dark? I can suggest the ones about gray and deep.

1. What do you call a chicken that's afraid of the dark? A chicken.
2. Food is like dark humor not every one gets it.
3. What's the difference between a baby and a baked potato? About 140 calories.
4. Why were the 'Dark Ages' so dark? Because there were so many Knights.
   Just delete me.
5. What happens when Catwoman takes off her suit? The Dark Knight Rises!
6. Q: Why can't orphans play baseball? A: Because they don't know where home is.
7. Do you know why programers prefer dark mode? Because light attracts bugs.
8. What do you call an artist in a dark alley? Sketchy
9. Me: Hello darkness my old friend Darkness: I have a boyfriend.
10. I can't afford to pay for electricity anymore... these are some dark times.
11. Why don't orphans get offended by dark humor? Because it can't hit home
12. Dad, do you know why it's so dark out? No sun.
13. Why were they called "the dark ages"? Because it was knight time.
14. Why does an ethiopian baby cry? It's having a mid life crisis
    (Sorry If it's too dark)
15. Why is Dark spelt with a K and not C at the end? Because you cannot C in the dark

In The Dark Jokes

Here is a list of funny in the dark jokes and even better in the dark puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• I was stranded on an island with nothing but dark red grass, dark red sand, dark red trees everything was darkred. "AHHH!" i yelled "I've been marooned!"
• Deep. Pessimist sees nothing but dark in the tunnel.
  Optimist sees light in the end of the tunnel.
  Realist sees light from incoming train.
  Engine-driver sees three idiots standing on the track.
• Events on Capitol Hill have gotten pretty dark Any darker and the police might actually do something about it
• How many dead people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Apparently not 17, cause my basement is still dark.
• Why isn't "dark" spelled a "c", instead of a "k" Because you can't see in the dark.
  You've all been wonderful.
• While I was out shopping today I tipped in the store a woman saw this and wouldn't stop staring so I smiled at her and said "sorry, it's been a while since I possessed a body." She looked horrified.
• Joke of the day about blondes. Two blondes fell down a hole.
  One said, "It's dark in here isn't it?"
  The other replied, "I don't know; I can't see." :-D
• When I was a little kid, I was afraid of the dark. But then I grew up and saw the electricity bill.
  I'm now afraid of light.
• Two blondes fall down a well One says to the other ones, "isn't it dark down here" she replies, I don't know I can't see
• Why is 'dark' spelled with a k and not a c? Because everyone knows you can't c in the dark.

Lightbulb Dark Jokes

Here is a list of funny lightbulb dark jokes and even better lightbulb dark puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• how many 5 year olds does it take to change a lightbulb? Well, my basement is still dark so more than eight.
• How many optimists does it take to change a lightbulb. None. They just find light in the darkness.
• How many psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb? None.
  It's their job to help people find their way in dark places!
  
  (MASH s1 ep7)
• How many dead lawyers does it take to change a lightbulb? More than 6, because my attic is still dark. Very dark.
• How many prostitutes does it take to change a lightbulb? More than 7, bc my basement is still dark...
• How many Discord users does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They prefer dark mode.
• How many people from Chernobyl does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. They glow in the dark.
• How many dead children does it take to fix a lightbulb? I don't know but it must be more than twenty because my basement's still dark.
• How many prostitutes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Apparently more than 5, as my basement is still dark
• So I asked my neighbor how many babies you would need to change a lightbulb... and he told me he didn't know because his basement was still dark.

You Are So Dark Jokes

Here is a list of funny you are so dark jokes and even better you are so dark puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• A: Whats's worse than a worm in the apple? B: The Holocaust.
  A: What's worse than the Holocaust?
  B: 5 Million Jews.
• I was in a long staring contest with the sun. Everything is dark now, dare I say it, I must have won.
• How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Definitely not 9, my basement is still dark
• Dark I took my grandma to a fish spa center where the little fish eat your dead skin for only $45. 
   
  It was way cheaper than having her buried in the cemetery.
• What does dark humor and health care have in common? Not everyone gets it...
• Cops smashed my phone. Cops smashed my phone. Well it's my fault for having it on the dark mode.
• THAT'S NOT FUNNY, THAT'S SICK! A clown and a little boy are walking through the woods. The boy says "it sure is dark and scary here". The clown says "how do you think I feel? I'm coming back alone".
• BC now stands for "Before Coronavirus" and AD is now "After Distancing"
  >!Welcome to the new dark ages!<
• The other day, I was on a submarine tour. I was going to tell a dark joke, but my friend stopped me.
  Why shouldn't I tell my joke?" I asked.
  "Err, this isn't the right sub."
• A dark sense of humor is like a hospital. Lots of sickness and occasionally dead babies.

Dark People Jokes

Here is a list of funny dark people jokes and even better dark people puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Jokes are like people Not everyone likes the dark ones.
• What's the best thing about dark humor? People don't take it lightly.
• Dark HUMOR When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don't find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on dates.
• Dark humor is like rights..... Some people don't get them
• I know this guy who teaches people how to access the Dark Web, but if they're incompetent then he physically and psychologically abuses them He's a Tor mentor.
• I hope that if I ever get rich I won't be mean to poor people Like I am now
  (Dark, I know, but one of my favorite deep thoughts)
• Telling a dark joke is like saying "I love you" Some people haven't heard it before.
• Studies show people who carry tactical knives with flashlights are less confident guessers. They never take a stab in the dark.
• my humor is really dark... almost as dark as the burned down people in my basement.
• I have a dark sense of humor but being a normally good person, *people don't see it.*

Cheerful Fun Dark Jokes to Brighten Your Day with Humor and Joy

What funny jokes about dark you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean shadow jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make dark pranks.