dark Jokes

funny dark pick up lines and hilarious dark puns

A joke my 8-year old made up: What do you call a chicken that's afraid of the dark?

A chicken.

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My wife is pregnant and my doctor asked me if I had ever been present at a childbirth before.

I replied, "Yes just once."

The doctor asked, "What was it like?"

I said, "It was dark, then suddenly very bright."

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Why does Batman only wear dark colors? Easy. Batman doesn't want to get shot. Why does Robin only wear bright colors?

Easy.


Batman doesn't want to get shot.

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In Pokemon, I never understood why bug types were supereffective against dark types.

But then I thought about malaria in Africa and it all made sense.

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Why do the Hong Kong police like to show up to work early?

They like to beat the crowds.

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My wife is pregnant and my doctor asked me if I had ever been present at a childbirth before.

I replied, "Yes just once."

The doctor asked, "What was it like?"

I said, "It was dark, then suddenly very bright."

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Dark humor is like cancer.

It's even funnier when children get it.

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Why is 'dark' spelled with a k and not c?

Because you can't see in the dark.

Ba-dum-tss

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A pessimist sees a dark tunnel.

An **optimist** sees light at the end of the tunnel.

A **realist** sees a freight train.

The **train driver** sees 3 fucking idiots standing on the train tracks.

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Food is like dark humor

not every one gets it.

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Dark Humour is like anti-vax families

There's usually a dead baby.

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How many dead prostitutes does it take to change a lightbulb?

Obviously not 8, because its still dark in my basement.

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A dark skinned lady named Betty goes to the butcher and asks for some beef.

The butcher replies: "Nooooo Black Betty, ham or lamb!"

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How many tumblrinas does it take to change a lightbulb?

You may think that a burnt out bulb needs to change just because the room is too dark *for you* to see anything, so it *must* be changed, but I don't care, it's beautiful, you should respect its right to be burnt out and learn to be more accepting of darker rooms, check your filament privileges you ableist scum. Anyone who disagrees with this is a burnt-out-bulbophobe and a darknessphobe. Thanks for being so understanding.

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How many dead hookers does it take to change a light bulb?

Apparently not three. It's still dark in my basement.

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Why were the 'Dark Ages' so dark?

Because there were so many Knights.

Just delete me.

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how many Americans does it take to change a lightbulb?

None; they're content to wander around in the dark pretending everything's okay.

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Dark humor: Explained

Dark humor is like a child with cancer

It never gets old

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A day in the life of an IT guy...

Customer: Hi, my computer isn't working.

IT guy: OK, what happens when you try to turn it on?

Customer: Nothing.

IT guy: Can you check to see if it's plugged into the outlet?

Customer: Uhhhh I dunno it's pretty dark back there...

IT guy: ...Can you turn on a light?

Customer: Nope. The power's out.

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How many dead babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Apparently more than 40, because my basement's still dark

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Deep.

Pessimist sees nothing but dark in the tunnel.

Optimist sees light in the end of the tunnel.

Realist sees light from incoming train.

Engine-driver sees three idiots standing on the track.

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What happens when Catwoman takes off her suit?

The Dark Knight Rises!

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How many dead people does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Apparently not 17, cause my basement is still dark.

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How many dead hookers does it take to change a light bulb?

Obviously not 8, my basement is still dark.

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I heard a bunch of Chinese people chanting "We want rights! We want rights!"

They must be scared of the dark or something.

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Why isn't "dark" spelled a "c", instead of a "k"

Because you can't see in the dark.

You've all been wonderful.

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The pessimist sees a dark tunnel...

The optimist sees a light at the end of the tunnel
The realist sees two lights at the end of the tunnel
... and the engineer can see three idiots standing on the rails.

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Joke of the day about blondes.

Two blondes fell down a hole.

One said, "It's dark in here isn't it?"

The other replied, "I don't know; I can't see." :-D

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What's the similarity between dark humor and food?

Some people don't get it.

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What do you call an artist in a dark alley?

Sketchy

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When I was a little kid, I was afraid of the dark.

But then I grew up and saw the electricity bill.

I'm now afraid of light.

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Dark humour is like a child with cancer

It never gets old.

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Me: Hello darkness my old friend

Darkness: I have a boyfriend.

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Dark humor is like a kid with cancer.....

It never gets old.

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How many dead hookers do you need to change a light bulb?

Dunno. Seven's not the answer though, my basement is still dark

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What are the best Dark puns ?

Did you ever wanted to be joking with someone about Dark? Well, here are the best Dark dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny pranks and Dark pick up lines to share with friends.

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