Gather Around for Heartwarming Dark Humor Jokes and Uplifting Humor
Give a man a fish, and you will feed him for the day.
Give a man two prosthetic legs, and he'll shoot his girlfriend.
Where did sally go when the bomb went off?
- everywhere.
Why did sally fall off the swing?
She had no arms..
Knock knock..
Whose there?
-not sally.
Food is like dark humor
not every one gets it.
Dark humor is like clean water...
it's just not accessible to everyone.
They say there's safety in numbers...
Tell that to 6 million Jews
How do you kill 100 flies in A second?
You slap an Ethiopian in the face.
Dark humor is a lot like fresh drinking water...
Not everyone gets it.
Sex is like dark humor
Not everyone gets it.
What do you call a not-hungry ethiopian?
Dead.
Why don't orphans get offended by dark humor?
Because it can't hit home
How can you tell if your oven's done preheating?
Mr. Goldstein's stopped screaming.
You can explore dark humor humour reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean dark humor biological dad jokes. There are also dark humor puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
A: Whats's worse than a worm in the apple?
B: The Holocaust.
A: What's worse than the Holocaust?
B: 5 Million Jews.
Dark humor never gets old.
Just like children in Africa.
A dark sense of humor is like a hospital.
Lots of sickness and occasionally dead babies.
How many cops does it take to change a light bulb?
They don't, they just shoot the room for being black.
How do you keep black people from stealing things in your back yard?
You hang some in the front.
Relax It's dark humor
Q: Why can't orphans play baseball?
A: Because they don't know where home is.
Dark humor is like a terrorist attack...
the timing needs to be just right.
Dark humor is like...
...a headphone jack. Not everybody gets it.
Whats the difference between a baby and a trampoline?
You take your shoes off before you step on a trampoline.
What's the best thing about dark humor?
People don't take it lightly.
What's the difference between a Taliban outpost and a Pakistani elementary school?
I don't know, I just fly the drone.
So a scientist creates a robot
And he asks the robot, "can you feel pain"
The robot says, "yes however not like a normal human, I feel everything deeper and in slow motion."
"my god that's horrible that can't be true!"
"You're correct it isn't true, however we do have a dark sense of humor."
I love dark humor,
my favorite comedian is black.
My humor is so dark
That the cops are even beating it
What do you call a robotic emo that likes dark humor.
Cutting edge technology
My sense of humor is so dark
It started stealing bikes!
My humor is like a police line-up.
Dark.
Two girls play in the park, one takes wood stick and says:
"my dad's is this big". The other one says: "My dad's is smaller, but it still hurts..."
Dark Humor is like Healthcare....
It's better if only some people get it."
Dark humor is like good internet service
Not everyone gets it.
Dark humor is like a Make a Wish kid.
It never gets old.
What do dark humor and a person with scoliosis have in common?
Both are sick and twisted.
Dark humor is like a child with a fatal disease
It never gets old
Dark humor is like clean water...
Not everyone gets it.
A wife went to the beach and didn't return. A husband called the police.
The police came in a week.
- We have 3 news for you: good, bad and great.
- Let's start with the bad one.
- Your wife drowned - we pulled her out of the water.
- And what is the good news?
- We have picked up a bucket of large crabs from her body.
- And what is the great news?
- We'll pull it out again tomorrow. Let's go for a beer!
Want to know how dark my humor is?
It picks cotton
Dark humor is like drunk driving
It kills when you cross over the line.
My Therapist told me, "Time heals all wounds".....
So, I stabbed him. Now we wait.
Dark humor is like cancer.
It's even funnier when children get it.
I took my mother-in-law out yesterday morning
Being a sniper is awesome
Why is Alzheimer's better than Parkinson's?
Because it's no big deal to forget a beer but a tragedy to spill a beer.
Criminal Justice is a lot like racial humor.
It's the dark ones that get you in trouble.
What's the difference between a door and a 9 year old?
The way you go in.
A dark sense of humor is a early sign of dementia.
A kid asks his mom:
- Mom, what's dark humor?
- Do you see that man without arms over there? Tell him to clap
- Mom! I'm blind....
- Exactly.
A kid asked his father What is dark humor?
The Dad responds with See that man in the wheel chair, tell him to stand up. And the kid's only response was But dad I'm blind.
Dark humor is like racial equality.
Not everyone gets it.
Dark humor is like an unvaccinated child
It never gets old
Dark humor is like water
Not everyone gets it
So a guy is walking with a young boy into the woods.
Boy "hey mister it's getting dark out and I'm scared"
Man "how do you think I feel, I have to walk back alone"
The lights went out at a comedy convention
And it became dark humor
"I'm sorry" and "I apologise" mean the same thing.
Except at a funeral
How many dead babies do you need to change a light bulb?
Well, apparently not 11, my flat is still dark.
What is the difference between jews and children?
Children come back from their camps.
How much time does it take to grill a baby
Idk, i close my eyes when I'm fapping
Watching my daughter at the park earlier.
Another parent asked, "Which one is yours?" Just for fun I said, "I am still choosing." She looked horrified.
What's the difference between a baby and a baked potato?
About 140 calories.
While I was out shopping today I tipped in the store
a woman saw this and wouldn't stop staring so I smiled at her and said "sorry, it's been a while since I possessed a body." She looked horrified.
How many Ethiopians can you fit in a phone booth?
All of them.
Have you ever tasted Ethiopian food?
Neither have they.
What's the best part about getting head from an Ethiopian?
She always swallows.
Why did Michael Jackson go to K-Mart?
He heard Boys pants were half off.
What do u call a little Mexican?
A Paragraph because he's not quite an Essay yet.
What's the Objective of Jewish Football?
To get the quarter back.
What is the difference between a pair of jeans and an Ethiopian?
A pair of jeans only has one fly on it.
Did you hear about the Jewish child molester?
He hid in the bushes and said, "Hey little boy, wanna buy some candy?"
Why did Michael Jackson place a phone call to Boyz-2-Men?
He thought it was a delivery service.
What do you call a black woman who has had multiple abortions?
A crime fighter
What are the two things that never get old
Dark humor and unvaccinated kids
Dark humor is like a kid with cancer
It never gets old
Dark humor is like food...
I indulged in an unhealthy amount of it today, and now i want to kill myself.
What is a kidnapper's favorite type of shoe?
White Vans
(courtesy of my dark-humored step-kiddo)
Two things that will never get old:
Dark humor and unvaccinated children.
"Mom what's dark humor?"
"Do you see that guy over there without arms? Ask him to clap his hand"
"But mom I'm blind..."
"Exactly!"
Dark humor is like rights.....
Some people don't get them
Dark HUMOR
When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don't find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on dates.
I'd tell you guys dark jokes...
But it's hard to see the humor in it.
I asked my friend if they wanted to hear a joke, they said they were only into dark humor...
So I turned off the lights
Kid: What is dark humor?
Dad: Do you see that man over there with no legs?
Ask him to jump.
Kid: But dad, I'm blind!
Dad: Exactly!
What does dark humor and health care have in common?
Not everyone gets it...
Mom, what's dark humor?
Mom: Well son, you see that man over there with no arms? Go tell him to clap.
Son: But, Mom! I'm blind!
Mom: Exactly.
A child asks his mother "mom, what is dark humor?"
The mother responds: do you see that man without hands? Tell him to clap. On wich the son says: but mom I'm blind. And the mom responds: Exactly.
What's the difference between dark humor and morbid humor?
Dark humor is 10 babies in a trash can.
Morbid humor is one baby in 10 trash cans.
Dark humor is like Covid
Not everybody gets it, but these days more and more do.
Dark humor is like kids with cancer
They never get old.
A boy asked his mom "Mom, What is dark humor?"
The mom said to the boy "See that man with no hands? Tell him to clap."
The boy then said to his mom "But mom, you know I'm blind!"
Mid age humor..
The guest of a famous painter, who was also known for having ugly children, remarked, "The people in your paintings are much more beautiful than your children". To which the painter replied: I make the pictures in the light, the children in the dark.
Dark Humor is like clean water
Everybody should get it but not everybody does.
