Daring Jokes
26 daring jokes and hilarious daring puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about daring that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Daring Short Jokes
Short daring jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The daring humour may include short dare jokes also.
- I invented a new word. Plagiarism.
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EDIT : This joke was invented by me and copyrighted. Dare to take it and a lawsuit shall find you. - I was holding a door open for this asian guy and he said "sank you". I punched him square in the jaw, how dare he bring up pearl harbour like that.
- Son: Mom, Dad, I'm gay Mom: *looks at Dad*
Dad: *clenches fist*
Mom: don't you dare!
Dad: hi gay, I'm Dad! - My wife bet me that I wouldn't dare give our daughter a silly name. So I decided to call her Bluff.
- My wife told me to kiss her like if we were in a soap opera I hugged her tight, kissed her with passion and then slapped her because how dare she?!
- I was in a long staring contest with the sun. Everything is dark now, dare I say it, I must have won.
- The cashier at Costco dared to ask me why I'm buying a giant tub of whiteout. Big mistake.
- Why did the feminist cross the road? How dare you question the decisions of someone just because she's a woman!
- I dared to ask my wife why she's buying a giant tub of Whiteout from the store. Big mistake.
- I drop kicked a Japanese woman today After holding the door open for her, she said to me "Sank you"
How dare she bring up Pearl Harbor like that after my nice gesture!
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Daring One Liners
Which daring one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with daring? I can suggest the ones about dashing and bravery.
- My girlfriend dared me to take schizophrenia meds. Now she's gone missing.
- Chuck Norris doesn't mow his lawn He sits on his porch and dares it to grow.
- Don't you dare hit that drum again! If you do, there will be repercussions!
- Her: Am I looking fat in this dress? Me: I choose Dare.
- Someone dared me to make a joke with only four letters. EZPZ
- What do you call 8 men who refuse to do a single dare? An octopus
- Chuck Norris doesn't have a roof in his house Cold and wind don't dare to come in
- I was dared to eat a spoonful of dry ice. It tasted sublime!
- What motivated Hercules to face off against Cerberus? Alcmene triple-dog-dared him.
- Don't you dare go playing that drum again. There will be repercussions!
- You want my impression of a child environmentalist How dare you
- Tattoos are like babies. You don't dare tell the truth and say they're ugly.
- Little known fact Delicacy is French for "I dare you to eat this".
- Hey babe, are you Muhammad? Because no artist would dare try to paint your perfect image.
- "You should be doing HW" HW is dead, how dare you!
Hilarious Daring Jokes that Bring Laughter with Friends
What funny jokes about daring you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean courage jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make daring pranks.
Recently, a burglar in Paris...
Recently, a burglar in Paris nearly got away with stealing several paintings from the Louvre. However, after planning the crime, getting in and out past heavy security, he was captured only two blocks away, when his getaway vehicle stalled in the middle of the road. When asked how he could mastermind such a daring crime, and then be caught only a couple blocks away, he replied,
I had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh.
Daring strategy
After years of loneliness, I finally worked out a great dating strategy. I'll pretend to be gay. I'm going to make tons of chick friends, really get them to trust me, tell me everything… and when they haven't got an ounce of suspicion left – BOOOM!
I'll get their boyfriends!
In a small town in the middle of nowhere...
Recently, in a small town in the middle of nowhere, a crime occurred which totally perplexed the local authorities. It seems that somehow, in a daring daylight robbery, an unidentified perpetrator managed to sneak into the crowded police station and systematically steal all of the toilets.
The cops have nothing to go on.
Three Jews
Three jews were arguing who was the most daring.
The first says, 'I have surfed great waves', the second counters, 'I have skydived'.
The third won though, as he kept all his savings in rubles.
A DARING NEW POSITION
Husband: Shall we try a new position tonight?
Wife: Sure. You stand by the ironing board, and I'll sit on the couch while drinking beer and f**....
Daring the hottest girl in the city reminds me of Fox News...
...when she tries to tell me stories, all I can see is holes.
A housewife tells the maid.
\- Callie, you are fired!
\- Why, Miss Lucy?
\- Because your work is getting worse! The little you do is very poorly done! Now, take your money and get out of here!
The maid took the money, thanked the housewife and, before going out, took a 10 dollar bill and threw it at the dog. The housewife said:
\- Well, that's what we call daring! Throwing money at my dog!
\- You know, Miss Lucy, I'm doing this because he deserves it. It's been a month since he's been the one doing the dishes!
A girl, her grandma, a guy and his boss share a compartment in a train.
From the beginning of the journey it's pretty obvious that the girl and guy like each other.
Once when the train passes through a tunnel and plunged into darkness a kissing sound and slap is heard.
When the train comes out into light, the old woman thinks, "It was daring of that guy to kiss my grandchild, but it was rightful of her to slap him".
The boss thinks, "The guy is brave to try such a thing, but I wish she hadn't mistook me for him".
The girl thinks "Wow the guy is a brave one, but I wish my grandma didn't have to slap him".
While the guy thinks, "This has to be my luckiest day. I get to kiss a girl and slap my boss".
How to get a PhD in Music
In some colleges of music, part of the doctoral requirement is to compose an original full length symphony. Because modern music sounds so weird, a good ploy is to take a well-known classical symphony, write it backwards and submit it as an original work. One student took the daring step of taking his professor's doctoral symphony and reversing it. The student failed to receive his degree. The examiners remarked, "You just reproduced Sibelius' Fourth Symphony with not a single note changed!"
A cat in a rainbow afro wig is driving a train
and things are not going well, he's blowing switches, picking up speed and will almost certainly c**... into the town at the bottom of the hill. A police officer sees this hops in her car and chases after the train. Through a daring twist of events the police officer manages to dive onto the train after crashing her car into the river below. When she gets to the engine room she sees the cat is wearing Groucho Marx glasses, and is blowing into a tube that causes its' polka-dotted bow-tie to spin while making a whistle-ish sound. The police officer looks ahead and sees she has only moments to stop the train. Her instincts kick in, she pulls the brake and the train stops inches from crashing into the town and killing thousands.
The moral of the story is a copper is a much better conductor then a silicate.
An accountant and an economist are walking through a forest...
They encounter a frog.
"I bet you $100 you won't lick it," says the economist The accountant, daring, licks the frog and receives $100.
They walk further, see another frog.
"Lick this frog, and you get your $100 back!" says the accountant. The economist looks at his friend in the eye, licks the frog and retrieves his $100.
"What was the point of this exercise? We've both done something disgusting, and we're no better off!"
"We have grown the local economy by $200!!!" says the economist.
"Yeah but we owe the government $40 each!"
