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Dare Jokes

122 dare jokes and hilarious dare puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about dare that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Get a laugh with these daring jokes! From truth or dare jokes to disrespectful jokes, we have it all. Learn how joking with courage can be a risky yet rewarding endeavor.

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Funniest Dare Short Jokes

Short dare jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The dare humour may include short daring jokes also.

  1. I invented a new word. Plagiarism.
    ---
    EDIT : This joke was invented by me and copyrighted. Dare to take it and a lawsuit shall find you.
  2. I was holding a door open for this asian guy and he said "sank you". I punched him square in the jaw, how dare he bring up pearl harbour like that.
  3. Son: Mom, Dad, I'm gay Mom: *looks at Dad*
    Dad: *clenches fist*
    Mom: don't you dare!
    Dad: hi gay, I'm Dad!
  4. My wife bet me that I wouldn't dare give our daughter a silly name. So I decided to call her Bluff.
  5. My wife told me to kiss her like if we were in a soap opera I hugged her tight, kissed her with passion and then slapped her because how dare she?!
  6. I was in a long staring contest with the sun. Everything is dark now, dare I say it, I must have won.
  7. The cashier at Costco dared to ask me why I'm buying a giant tub of whiteout. Big mistake.
  8. Why did the feminist cross the road? How dare you question the decisions of someone just because she's a woman!
  9. I dared to ask my wife why she's buying a giant tub of Whiteout from the store. Big mistake.
  10. I drop kicked a Japanese woman today After holding the door open for her, she said to me "Sank you"
    How dare she bring up Pearl Harbor like that after my nice gesture!

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Dare One Liners

Which dare one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with dare? I can suggest the ones about challenge and courage.

  1. My girlfriend dared me to take schizophrenia meds. Now she's gone missing.
  2. Chuck Norris doesn't mow his lawn He sits on his porch and dares it to grow.
  3. Don't you dare hit that drum again! If you do, there will be repercussions!
  4. Her: Am I looking fat in this dress? Me: I choose Dare.
  5. Someone dared me to make a joke with only four letters. EZPZ
  6. What do you call 8 men who refuse to do a single dare? An octopus
  7. Chuck Norris doesn't have a roof in his house Cold and wind don't dare to come in
  8. I was dared to eat a spoonful of dry ice. It tasted sublime!
  9. What motivated Hercules to face off against Cerberus? Alcmene triple-dog-dared him.
  10. Don't you dare go playing that drum again. There will be repercussions!
  11. You want my impression of a child environmentalist How dare you
  12. Tattoos are like babies. You don't dare tell the truth and say they're ugly.
  13. Little known fact Delicacy is French for "I dare you to eat this".
  14. Hey babe, are you Muhammad? Because no artist would dare try to paint your perfect image.
  15. "You should be doing HW" HW is dead, how dare you!

Truth Or Dare Jokes

Here is a list of funny truth or dare jokes and even better truth or dare puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Me and my friends were playing Truth and Dare the other day I choose Dare
    They dared me to go home
  • Girl: I'm having a party at my house, we're playing Truth or Dare and Twister, can you come? Guy: I already did.
  • I never forget the time when we were at the party, playing truth and dare and someone dared me to go home
  • Truth or Dare Ling Ling truth or dare?
    "Truth"
    Where is Stacey's dog?
    "Dare"
  • I was playing truth or dare with this really hot girl and she chose truth... ...so I asked her for her atm pin and social security number.
  • Playing Truth or Dare Boy: Truth.
    Girl: Did you suggest we play this game strictly to try to hookup with me?
    Boy: You're not playing the game right.
  • "Alright, truth or dare? -None, I'm a politician!"
  • My friends coaxed me into smoking cigarettes and m**... in the same night. I guess I s**... at Truth or D.A.R.E

Dare Drug Jokes

Here is a list of funny dare drug jokes and even better dare drug puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • D.A.R.E. told us that people would offer us drugs all the time. Like most movements it promised way more than it could deliver...
  • According to the D.A.R.E website, m**... is no longer a gateway drug... Guess that means I tried all those other drugs willingly.
Dare joke, According to the D.A.R.E website, m**... is no longer a gateway drug...

Dare joke, According to the D.A.R.E website, m**... is no longer a gateway drug...

Great Dare Jokes to Share, Laugh and Enjoy with Friends

What funny jokes about dare you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean dame jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make dare pranks.

My therapist wanted to tell me about the 5 stages of grief. I said...

But nothing bad has happened! How DARE you imply that it has? I'm only paying half for this session. Thanks for ruining my good mood... Okay, tell me all about it.

A man goes up to a fat chick in a bar...

and says "i'd give you one", she slaps him and says "how dare you?!? Just because I'm fat doesn't mean you can just say you would screw me!" He retorts "screw you?!? I was scoring you out of ten".

A girl was about to jump off a cliff...

A girl was about to jump off a cliff to end her life. Just as she was about to leap to her death, a homeless man approached from behind and shouted to ask her a question,
"Excuse me miss! Before you jump would you like to have s**... with me?"
The woman replied angrily, "No I most certainly would not! How dare you try and take advantage of me in a situation like this!"
The homeless responded, "Very well then, I'll just wait for you to get to the bottom."

A trucker and a blonde.

A trucker is driving down a busy highway when he is abruptly cut off by a blonde woman in her car. Tired and grumpy from driving all day, he quickly pulls along side of the woman's car and forces her to stop on the shoulder of the highway. The trucker and the woman get out of their vehicles. The trucker takes a rock and draws a circle around the blonde.
"Don't you dare set foot outside this circle," the trucker orders.
He walks over to the blondes car and keys the side of it. When he returns, the woman is standing in her circle giggling. This angers the trucker even more. He proceeds to grab a bat out of his semi and smash the mirrors off the woman's car. When the trucker returns to the woman, she is still standing in her circle laughing. Enraged, the trucker takes a gas tank out of his semi, douses the woman's car in gas, and sets it on fire. The woman bursts into hysteria.
"I just totaled your car!! What is so funny?!" The trucker shouts.
The blonde replies, "When you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle three times!"

An elderly Japanese man...

An elderly Japanese man was walking behind me as I was entering a store. Since he was older and walked with a cane, I held the door for him. As he walked pasted he said, "Sank you" with his accent. So I punched him in the face and said, "How dare you bring up Pearl Harbor like that!"

I'm sitting in a jail cell

and it's killing me that I was arrested for something so s**.... On a dare, I robbed a kitchen supply store. Sure, the expensive knives would have been great, and who doesn't want a food processor?
But all in all, it just wasn't work the whisk.

Why should jokes always be sent over TCP?

Because you're assured that the recipient will get it.
(Don't you DARE explain the joke in the comments)

PIGS

A woman is walking her dog, when suddenly a man walks up to her.
Man: "Where'd you get the pig"?
Woman: "How DARE you call my dog that!"
Man: "I was talking to the dog!"

b**... vs. Mount Everest

What does getting a b**... from a 70 year old woman and jumping down from Mount Everest have in common?


You don't dare to look down, but you feel the rush.

The school principal is walking along the corridor

and sees a ten-year-old strolling in the opposite direction, smoking a cigarette and drinking beer from a bottle.
The principal is outraged and cries out:
— What's going on here? Why aren't you at class? And how dare you smoke and drink alcohol at school? What class are you from?
The kid calmly blows smoke into the principal's face and says:
— Bourgeoisie.

Didja hear they're developing a new gameshow targeted specifically at an LGBT audience?

Yeah - they're gonna call it "Bruce or Dare"

A guy pulled up next to me in his Honda on a scorching day....

.... and asked if he could fry and egg on the hood of my black car on a dare.
I looked back at him incredulously and said "Why not do it on your own Accord?"

A guy wakes up after a one night stand and looks at the woman in his bed...

He then asks her "How old are you?"
"How dare you ask me that! A woman is as old as she looks."
"That's a lie, people don't live that long."

Why does Daredevil worry about getting fat?

He never watches what he eats.

The night before the wedding

The bride-to-be and her bridesmaids were giggling over tequila and strawberry daiquiris at the bachelorette party. The maid of honor started a game of truth or dare.
"If your boyfriend were a soda, what would he be?" she slurred at the other bridesmaid.
"7-Up, because he's got seven inches and he can keep it up. What about you?"
"Mountain Dew. He knows how to mount and do me. And what about the future Mrs. Johnson? What kind of soda is Matt?"
"Jack Daniels," said the bride proudly.
"But that's not a soda! Jack Daniels is a hard liquor!" protested her friends.
The bride looked at them and said, "Girls, why do you think I'm marrying him?"

Why is Daredevil not a part of the Avengers?

Because he doesn't work with Vision

Why can't Daredevil drive a car?

Because he's from New York.

Where does Daredevil sign contracts?

On the dotted line.
*Revised from an earlier attempt.

I hate how feminists are always stereotyped as being obese women...

How dare you call me a feminist!

Why wasn't Daredevil in Civil War?

He doesn't work well with Vision

A woman was trying on her new fur coat.

Her teenage daughter walked up to her and said.
"Mother, do you realize that this coat is the result of the suffering of a poor, defenseless animal?"
The woman looked strictly at her daughter.
"Young lady, don't you dare talk about your father like that."

- Why don't you have one of your w**... feed you! You go missing all night and dare to ask for breakfast!

- Miss, I've never seen a stranger waitress.

My Indian Uncle asked me how dare I eat beef...

I told him don't worry, these are American cows.

I hate when people say "you never seem to have any free time"

How dare you assume my agenda

How dare you say I'm dumb!

Would a d**... get a 'A' on there IQ test? Hmm?

Son : Mom, Dad... I'm gay.

Dad : *Raising his right hand*
Mom : No , don't you dare!
Dad : *Sweating profusely*
Mom : Don't do it!
Dad : *waves at son* Hi gay , Im Dad.
Son : No Dad, I'm serious!
Dad : You're serious? I thought you were gay!
Son : I'm not serious!
Dad and Mom : Good.

Daredevil was planned to be featured of Age of Ultron but..........

He had issues with Vision, you see.

I wouldn't shed a tear if you cancelled MS America, nor lose sleep if you cancelled MS Universe

But please don't you dare cancel MS Paint :*(

What's the difference between dead babies and pineapples?

I wouldn't dare put pineapple on my pizza.

A Swede, a Norwegian and a Finn

A Swede, a Norwegian and a Finn tried to swim from Norway to America on a dare. Ten miles from the Norwegian coast, the Swede gasped "I can't make it..." and promptly drowned. Fifty miles from the Norwegian coast, the Norwegian gasped "I can't make it..." and promptly drowned. The Finn had just caught sight of the American coast, when he sighed "I can't make it either..." and promptly swam back to Norway.

The Daredevil walks into a bar

...And the pool table ,
and the chair,
and the counter.

Farmer and Son

A farmer wrote a letter to his son in jail for robbing a bank
This year, I can't plant potatoes because you are not here to plow the field."
The son wrote back, Papa, don't dare plow the field That is where I hid the money I stole.
The police intercepted the letter and by the next day they'd dug up the entire field but found nothing. The son wrote to his father, Now you can plant your potatoes.

What's something that not even the laziest college student would dare procrastinate?

Diarrhea.

A problem at the restaurant

Waiter!" shouted the furious diner. "How dare you serve me this! There's a TWIG in my soup!"
"My apologies," said the waiter. "I'll inform the branch manager."

I saw a man at the grocery store flinging slices of American cheese into the air.

He then started chugging cartons of milk right off the shelf.
After that he started smashing containers of yogurt open on his forehead.
It was shocking. All I could think was how dare he!

I'm 75 and someone assumed that I listen to AM radio...

How dare they stereotype me like that

What do Daredevil and Scarlet Which have in common?

They both lost their vision

Guy demands a pound of Polish sausage

A man walks up to a counter and asks for a pound of Polish Sausage! The clerk looks at the man and says wow... you must be Polish.
The man says how dare you sir! You're a racist! Do I have to be Italian to eat Italian sausage...? Do I have to be Jewish to eat kosher beef...? Can only Germans drink German beer...?
The clerk responds well no... but this is Home Depot.

These guys at the pub said my wife looked like Cruella de Vil.

So I walked over to them and said, "How dare you compare that skinny, intimidating witch with Cruella de Vil."

A young girl accepts a dare, and wins a dollar

she tells her mom about it, saying how the boys dared her to climb a post.
"Silly girl, that's so they could look up your skirt."
So the next day, the girl comes back and says "They tried to make me climb that post again, but I outsmarted them this time!"
"Really? What did you do?"
"I told them 'I'm not going to be fooled into reposting!"

Surimi must have the lowest self-esteem of all fish.

Nobody would dare eat them unless you refer to them as "imitation crab."

Some women say all men are pigs

Dirty, ugly, wallowing in their own filth...
How dare they compare us to cops!

Daredevil got cancelled by Netflix.

The only person who didn't see it coming was Matt Murdock himself.

Trump: "How dare you call me conniving!" Mueller: "Mr. Trump, do you know the meaning of the word 'connive'?

Trump: "Of course I do! It's what Melania uses to cut my steak!"

I'm a Flat Earther. If the world is actually round, I dare Columbus to come beat me up. I'll be waiting in front of my laptop.

See? Nothing happkikmm,50g807gbm"| nb jcvbyujm.,kjhnvbgyvcunumk,ik,juh8m

A Baby is born!!

Doctor yells out in excitement " It's a Boy!"
Baby replies (cause babies can talk)
" How dare you assume my gender!"

A teenager girl goes for confession and tells the preist that she's pregnant with the second coming.

Naturally, the priest is furious at the implied blasphemy.
"How dare you? That's blasphemy. Explain yourself. How do you know you're pregnant with the second coming?" he thundered.
I... I... I.. I swallowed the first.

I dared to ask my wife why she's buying a giant tub of Whiteout from the store.

It was a big mistake.

Doctor to assistant: I said to give the patient something for his cough! Why did you give him a laxative?!

Assistant: Well he's not coughing anymore, is he?
Doctor: ..I guess he wouldn't dare..

I asked my friend if he would ever dare to shave his n**... with a straight razor

He said he tried it once while in college, but it was so bad that he hasn't got the b**... to try it again.

A daredevil was dared to walk backwards on a tightrope.

You could say he wasn't looking forward to it

South of the border

You know what, I don't care what people say but south of the border there is the country with senseless violence, looting, drugs etc. that I would not dare to touch with a ten feet pole!
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
I am so happy I live in Canada!

A Danish family are having lunch.

The youngest person, a 3 year-old, eats all his food and then says "I am finish!", as he couldn't talk properly.

His mum replies >!How dare you! We are Danish, not Finnish!!<

What does Daredevil take with his whisky?

JUST ICE

Marriage

**Before Marriage**
Boy: Ah, finally, I've waited so long.
Girl: You want me to leave?
Boy: No. I dare to not even think about it.
Girl: Do you love me?
Boy: Of course. Lots!
Girl: Have you ever cheated on me?
Boy: No! Why are you asking me?
Girl: Will you kiss me?
Boy: Every time I get the chance!
Girl: Will you ever hit me?
Boy: Are you crazy? Of course not!
Girl: Can I trust you?
Boy: Yes.
Girl: Darling?
**After Marriage**
Read it Backwards.

Two Italian men are having a lively talk on a bus...

"Emma come first. Den I come. Den two a**... come together. I come once-a-more. Two a**..., they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come one last time."
A church lady behind them is crimson red and beside herself. "You two need Jesus! How dare you say such shameless filth? We don't talk about our s**... lives in public in this country!"
"Hey, relaxa, missa! Who talkin' abouta sexa? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spella 'Mississippi'."

Some guy on a Minecraft server thought that I was a hermit

How dare he make such baseless accusations.

Marital Misunderstanding

It's 4.00am. A man comes stumbling home and bursts drunk into his bedroom. He's totally dishevelled, stinks of booze and has a goat tucked under his arm. His wife sits up with a shriek and shouts:
"How dare you come home in that condition! And what's that thing under your arm?"
Her husband looks at her and says:
"This is the pig I sleep with when you're having one of your headaches."
"You idiot. That's not a pig it's a goat!"
"Don't interrupt me when I'm talking to my goat."

What do Daredevil and Scarlet Witch have in common?

They're superheroes dressed in red who lost their vision!

Dare joke, What do Daredevil and Scarlet Witch have in common?

jokes about dare