Dare Jokes
117 dare jokes and hilarious dare puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about dare that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Get a laugh with these daring jokes! From truth or dare jokes to disrespectful jokes, we have it all. Learn how joking with courage can be a risky yet rewarding endeavor.
Funniest Dare Short Jokes
Short dare jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The dare humour may include short challenge jokes also.
- I invented a new word. Plagiarism.
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EDIT : This joke was invented by me and copyrighted. Dare to take it and a lawsuit shall find you. - My wife bet me that I wouldn't dare give our daughter a silly name. So I decided to call her Bluff.
- I was in a long staring contest with the sun. Everything is dark now, dare I say it, I must have won.
- The cashier at Costco dared to ask me why I'm buying a giant tub of whiteout. Big mistake.
- I dared to ask my wife why she's buying a giant tub of Whiteout from the store. Big mistake.
- Me and my friends were playing Truth and Dare the other day I choose Dare
They dared me to go home - A problem at the restaurant Waiter!" shouted the furious diner. "How dare you serve me this! There's a TWIG in my soup!"
"My apologies," said the waiter. "I'll inform the branch manager." - My friend once dared me to adopt a baby cow, so I did, and now I have a barn full of them. I guess that's what you'd call raising the steaks.
- Doctor to assistant: I said to give the patient something for his cough! Why did you give him a laxative?! Assistant: Well he's not coughing anymore, is he?
Doctor: ..I guess he wouldn't dare.. - Girl: I'm having a party at my house, we're playing Truth or Dare and Twister, can you come? Guy: I already did.
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Dare One Liners
Which dare one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with dare? I can suggest the ones about courage and douse.
- My girlfriend dared me to take schizophrenia meds. Now she's gone missing.
- Chuck Norris doesn't mow his lawn He sits on his porch and dares it to grow.
- Her: Am I looking fat in this dress? Me: I choose Dare.
- Someone dared me to make a joke with only four letters. EZPZ
- What do you call 8 men who refuse to do a single dare? An octopus
- Chuck Norris doesn't have a roof in his house Cold and wind don't dare to come in
- I was dared to eat a spoonful of dry ice. It tasted sublime!
- What motivated Hercules to face off against Cerberus? Alcmene triple-dog-dared him.
- Don't you dare go playing that drum again. There will be repercussions!
- Tattoos are like babies. You don't dare tell the truth and say they're ugly.
- Little known fact Delicacy is French for "I dare you to eat this".
- "You should be doing HW" HW is dead, how dare you!
- Truth or Dare Ling Ling truth or dare?
"Truth"
Where is Stacey's dog?
"Dare" - Ronaldo will never lose his sponsors They won't dare turning their back to him
- My wife is a vegetarian dare devil She likes to live life on the veg.
Truth Or Dare Jokes
Here is a list of funny truth or dare jokes and even better truth or dare puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I never forget the time when we were at the party, playing truth and dare and someone dared me to go home
- I was playing truth or dare with this really hot girl and she chose truth... ...so I asked her for her atm pin and social security number.
- Playing Truth or Dare Boy: Truth.
Girl: Did you suggest we play this game strictly to try to hookup with me?
Boy: You're not playing the game right. - "Alright, truth or dare? -None, I'm a politician!"
Dare Drug Jokes
Here is a list of funny dare drug jokes and even better dare drug puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- D.A.R.E. told us that people would offer us drugs all the time. Like most movements it promised way more than it could deliver...
Great Dare Jokes to Share, Laugh and Enjoy with Friends
What funny jokes about dare you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean adventure jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make dare pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
You want my impression of a child environmentalist
How dare you
My therapist wanted to tell me about the 5 stages of grief. I said...
But nothing bad has happened! How DARE you imply that it has? I'm only paying half for this session. Thanks for ruining my good mood... Okay, tell me all about it.
Two guys in a lunatic asylum
There were these two guys in a lunatic asylum… and one night, they decide they don't like living in an asylum any more. They decide they're going to escape! So, they get up onto the roof, and there, just across this narrow gap, they see the rooftops of the town, stretching away in the moon light stretching away to freedom. Now, the first guy, he jumps right across with no problem. But his friend, his friend didn't dare make the leap. he's afraid of falling. So then, the first guy has an idea… He says, 'Hey! I have my flashlight with me! I'll shine it across the gap between the buildings. You can walk along the beam and join me!' but the second guy just shakes his head. He says, 'Wh-what do you think I am? Crazy? You'd turn it off when I was half way across!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Frankenstein's Monster - Dinner Troubles
**Frankenstein's Bride:** You never help me with dinner!
**Frankenstein:** I did the mash...
**Frankenstein's Bride:** DON'T YOU F\*\*\*ING DARE!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A girl was about to jump off a cliff...
A girl was about to jump off a cliff to end her life. Just as she was about to leap to her death, a homeless man approached from behind and shouted to ask her a question,
"Excuse me miss! Before you jump would you like to have s**... with me?"
The woman replied angrily, "No I most certainly would not! How dare you try and take advantage of me in a situation like this!"
The homeless responded, "Very well then, I'll just wait for you to get to the bottom."
A trucker and a blonde.
A trucker is driving down a busy highway when he is abruptly cut off by a blonde woman in her car. Tired and grumpy from driving all day, he quickly pulls along side of the woman's car and forces her to stop on the shoulder of the highway. The trucker and the woman get out of their vehicles. The trucker takes a rock and draws a circle around the blonde.
"Don't you dare set foot outside this circle," the trucker orders.
He walks over to the blondes car and keys the side of it. When he returns, the woman is standing in her circle giggling. This angers the trucker even more. He proceeds to grab a bat out of his semi and smash the mirrors off the woman's car. When the trucker returns to the woman, she is still standing in her circle laughing. Enraged, the trucker takes a gas tank out of his semi, douses the woman's car in gas, and sets it on fire. The woman bursts into hysteria.
"I just totaled your car!! What is so funny?!" The trucker shouts.
The blonde replies, "When you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle three times!"
The American, Frenchman, Norwegian and the Black guy
So there is an American, Frenchman, Norwegian and a Black guy
on top of the Empire state building.
The American pulls out some dollars from his pocket and throws them off the building.
"Why did you do that?" said the others. "Because we have so much money.
So the Frenchman pulls out some wine and throw it off the building.
"Why did you do that?" said the others? "Because we have so much wine."
The norwegian looks over at the black guy.
"Dont you even dare!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An elderly Japanese man...
An elderly Japanese man was walking behind me as I was entering a store. Since he was older and walked with a cane, I held the door for him. As he walked pasted he said, "Sank you" with his accent. So I punched him in the face and said, "How dare you bring up Pearl Harbor like that!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I'm sitting in a jail cell
and it's killing me that I was arrested for something so s**.... On a dare, I robbed a kitchen supply store. Sure, the expensive knives would have been great, and who doesn't want a food processor?
But all in all, it just wasn't work the whisk.
Why should jokes always be sent over TCP?
Because you're assured that the recipient will get it.
(Don't you DARE explain the joke in the comments)
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
PIGS
A woman is walking her dog, when suddenly a man walks up to her.
Man: "Where'd you get the pig"?
Woman: "How DARE you call my dog that!"
Man: "I was talking to the dog!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
b**... vs. Mount Everest
What does getting a b**... from a 70 year old woman and jumping down from Mount Everest have in common?
You don't dare to look down, but you feel the rush.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The school principal is walking along the corridor
and sees a ten-year-old strolling in the opposite direction, smoking a cigarette and drinking beer from a bottle.
The principal is outraged and cries out:
— What's going on here? Why aren't you at class? And how dare you smoke and drink alcohol at school? What class are you from?
The kid calmly blows smoke into the principal's face and says:
— Bourgeoisie.
"How dare you judge her size..."
"The woman has had three children!"
"For lunch?"
Didja hear they're developing a new gameshow targeted specifically at an LGBT audience?
Yeah - they're gonna call it "Bruce or Dare"
A guy pulled up next to me in his Honda on a scorching day....
.... and asked if he could fry and egg on the hood of my black car on a dare.
I looked back at him incredulously and said "Why not do it on your own Accord?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The teenage granddaughter...
..... comes downstairs for her date with this see-through blouse on and no bra. Her grandmother just pitched a fit, telling her not to dare go out like that!
The teenager tells her "Loosen up Grams. These are modern times. You gotta let your r**... show!" and out she goes.
The next day the teenager comes downstairs, and the grandmother is sitting there with no top on. The teenager wants to die. She explains to her grandmother that she has friends coming over and that it is just not appropriate...
The grandmother says, "Loosen up, Sweetie. If you can show off your r**..., then I can display my hanging baskets."
Why does Daredevil worry about getting fat?
He never watches what he eats.
The night before the wedding
The bride-to-be and her bridesmaids were giggling over tequila and strawberry daiquiris at the bachelorette party. The maid of honor started a game of truth or dare.
"If your boyfriend were a soda, what would he be?" she slurred at the other bridesmaid.
"7-Up, because he's got seven inches and he can keep it up. What about you?"
"Mountain Dew. He knows how to mount and do me. And what about the future Mrs. Johnson? What kind of soda is Matt?"
"Jack Daniels," said the bride proudly.
"But that's not a soda! Jack Daniels is a hard liquor!" protested her friends.
The bride looked at them and said, "Girls, why do you think I'm marrying him?"
Why is Daredevil not a part of the Avengers?
Because he doesn't work with Vision
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
According to the D.A.R.E website, m**... is no longer a gateway drug...
Guess that means I tried all those other drugs willingly.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A guy walks into a bar
The bartender says "What can I get for you sir?"
Guy says "How dare you assume my gender on my appearance!"
Why can't Daredevil drive a car?
Because he's from New York.
Where does Daredevil sign contracts?
On the dotted line.
*Revised from an earlier attempt.
Why wasn't Daredevil in Civil War?
He doesn't work well with Vision
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My wife told me to kiss her like if we were in a soap opera
I hugged her tight, kissed her with passion and then slapped her because how dare she?!
I would'nt dare use a body deo in a train in germany
apparently an axeman was shot dead.
A woman was trying on her new fur coat.
Her teenage daughter walked up to her and said.
"Mother, do you realize that this coat is the result of the suffering of a poor, defenseless animal?"
The woman looked strictly at her daughter.
"Young lady, don't you dare talk about your father like that."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
- Why don't you have one of your w**... feed you! You go missing all night and dare to ask for breakfast!
- Miss, I've never seen a stranger waitress.
My Indian Uncle asked me how dare I eat beef...
I told him don't worry, these are American cows.
I hate when people say "you never seem to have any free time"
How dare you assume my agenda
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How dare you say I'm dumb!
Would a d**... get a 'A' on there IQ test? Hmm?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Son : Mom, Dad... I'm gay.
Dad : *Raising his right hand*
Mom : No , don't you dare!
Dad : *Sweating profusely*
Mom : Don't do it!
Dad : *waves at son* Hi gay , Im Dad.
Son : No Dad, I'm serious!
Dad : You're serious? I thought you were gay!
Son : I'm not serious!
Dad and Mom : Good.
Daredevil was planned to be featured of Age of Ultron but..........
He had issues with Vision, you see.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My friends coaxed me into smoking cigarettes and m**... in the same night.
I guess I s**... at Truth or D.A.R.E
My girlfriend was getting off the couch and I said "Floor is lava! I dare you to move"
She said she's been wanting to for a while and moved out.
Baaayyyee
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
President Trump and ex-President Obama go to the Barbershop...
They each enter the establishment, and take their seats with different barbers. Neither says a word, and even the barbers dare not speak, fearing that any conversation would soon turn political.
At the end of the service, as each man got ready to leave, Trump's barber offers him the aft**e**rshave.
Trump is quick to stop him: "No thanks, buddy. My wife will smell it and think I've been at a w**...".
Obama's barber turns to him and offers the same.
Obama replies: "Go ahead, my wife doesn't know what the inside of a w**... smells like".
I wouldn't shed a tear if you cancelled MS America, nor lose sleep if you cancelled MS Universe
But please don't you dare cancel MS Paint :*(
What's the difference between dead babies and pineapples?
I wouldn't dare put pineapple on my pizza.
A Swede, a Norwegian and a Finn
A Swede, a Norwegian and a Finn tried to swim from Norway to America on a dare. Ten miles from the Norwegian coast, the Swede gasped "I can't make it..." and promptly drowned. Fifty miles from the Norwegian coast, the Norwegian gasped "I can't make it..." and promptly drowned. The Finn had just caught sight of the American coast, when he sighed "I can't make it either..." and promptly swam back to Norway.
The Daredevil walks into a bar
...And the pool table ,
and the chair,
and the counter.
Purebred Police Dog
A woman saw an ad in the local newspaper which read: "Purebred police dog $25."
Thinking that to be a great bargain, she called and ordered the dog to be delivered.
The next day a van arrived at her home and delivered the mangiest-looking mongrel she had ever seen. In a rage, she telephoned the man who had placed the ad.
"How dare you call that mangy mutt a purebred police dog?" she yelled.
"Don't let his looks deceive you, ma'am," the man replied, "He works undercover."
What's something that not even the laziest college student would dare procrastinate?
Diarrhea.
I saw a man at the grocery store flinging slices of American cheese into the air.
He then started chugging cartons of milk right off the shelf.
After that he started smashing containers of yogurt open on his forehead.
It was shocking. All I could think was how dare he!
I'm 75 and someone assumed that I listen to AM radio...
How dare they stereotype me like that
What do Daredevil and Scarlet Which have in common?
They both lost their vision
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Guy demands a pound of Polish sausage
A man walks up to a counter and asks for a pound of Polish Sausage! The clerk looks at the man and says wow... you must be Polish.
The man says how dare you sir! You're a racist! Do I have to be Italian to eat Italian sausage...? Do I have to be Jewish to eat kosher beef...? Can only Germans drink German beer...?
The clerk responds well no... but this is Home Depot.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Son: Mom, Dad, I'm gay
Mom: *looks at Dad*
Dad: *clenches fist*
Mom: don't you dare!
Dad: hi gay, I'm Dad!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
These guys at the pub said my wife looked like Cruella de Vil.
So I walked over to them and said, "How dare you compare that skinny, intimidating witch with Cruella de Vil."
A young girl accepts a dare, and wins a dollar
she tells her mom about it, saying how the boys dared her to climb a post.
"Silly girl, that's so they could look up your skirt."
So the next day, the girl comes back and says "They tried to make me climb that post again, but I outsmarted them this time!"
"Really? What did you do?"
"I told them 'I'm not going to be fooled into reposting!"
Surimi must have the lowest self-esteem of all fish.
Nobody would dare eat them unless you refer to them as "imitation crab."
I'm pretty sure Cybill's kid Cyrus was never bullied in school...
No one would dare mock the son of a Shepherd.
Daredevil got cancelled by Netflix.
The only person who didn't see it coming was Matt Murdock himself.
Trump: "How dare you call me conniving!" Mueller: "Mr. Trump, do you know the meaning of the word 'connive'?
Trump: "Of course I do! It's what Melania uses to cut my steak!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I'm a Flat Earther. If the world is actually round, I dare Columbus to come beat me up. I'll be waiting in front of my laptop.
See? Nothing happkikmm,50g807gbm"| nb jcvbyujm.,kjhnvbgyvcunumk,ik,juh8m
A Baby is born!!
Doctor yells out in excitement " It's a Boy!"
Baby replies (cause babies can talk)
" How dare you assume my gender!"
A teenager girl goes for confession and tells the preist that she's pregnant with the second coming.
Naturally, the priest is furious at the implied blasphemy.
"How dare you? That's blasphemy. Explain yourself. How do you know you're pregnant with the second coming?" he thundered.
I... I... I.. I swallowed the first.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I asked my friend if he would ever dare to shave his n**... with a straight razor
He said he tried it once while in college, but it was so bad that he hasn't got the b**... to try it again.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Don't you dare hit that drum again!
If you do, there will be repercussions!
A daredevil was dared to walk backwards on a tightrope.
You could say he wasn't looking forward to it
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
South of the border
You know what, I don't care what people say but south of the border there is the country with senseless violence, looting, drugs etc. that I would not dare to touch with a ten feet pole!
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.
.
.
.
.
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I am so happy I live in Canada!
A Danish family are having lunch.
The youngest person, a 3 year-old, eats all his food and then says "I am finish!", as he couldn't talk properly.
His mum replies >!How dare you! We are Danish, not Finnish!!<
What does Daredevil take with his whisky?
JUST ICE
