The Best 33 Danish Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Danish jokes. There are some danish oslo jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these danish fjord puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Danish Jokes and Puns

Three men and a parachute

So, a norwegian, a danish and a swedish person are on a private flight. Suddenly, the pilot turns on the speaker and says:
"The plane is malfunctioning and is going to crash. There's three parachutes, and I'm going to take one. You're going to have to figure out who doesn't get one".
He then proceeds to jump out of the plane.

The three men panic, but the norwegian tells the others to calm down and then says to the swedish person: "Here. You take one, we'll figure out who gets the last one." And the swedish jumps.

The norwegian then turns to the danish person and says: "Let's grab the chutes and get out of this thing."

The danish says, very confused:" But you just gave the second to last parachute to that swedish guy? There's only one left now."

To which the norwegian replies: "Relax man, I gave him my backpack."

Translated from danish: 2 drunk sits in a bar.

One says: My dog keeps chasing people on a bicycle.....

The other guy things for a bit then replies: Then why don't you take the bicycle from it?.... (c:

What book are you reading?

Some new Danish author.

Danish joke, What book are you reading?

What did the Danish bricklayer say when someone tried to grab him?

I was making some Scandinavian pastries but discovered afterwards that I didn't use enough sugar.

So I ended up with sweet-ish Danish.

A cannibal and a vegetarian go to lunch.

They both order a Danish.

What's the biggest similarity between a bottle of Draino and a Danish stripper?

They both slowly remove clogs.

^^They're ^^also ^^both ^^in ^^a ^^barrel ^^in ^^my ^^garage.

Danish joke, What's the biggest similarity between a bottle of Draino and a Danish stripper?

Why did the danish catch fire when he stepped inside the church?

Because he was unholy.

Their are only two things I hate about this world

Those who can't respect other people's cultures and the Danish

Arent a donut and a danish the same thing?

Well they are both synonym rolls!!

What do you call a proud Danish countryman?

A pastriot.

You can explore danish sweden reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean danish scandinavian dad jokes. There are also danish puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

Netflix's new show is Marvel's Luke Cage, whose "Superpower is unbreakable skin.

Bullet proof skin on a black man isn't a super power its straight up evolution!

-Danish Anwar

Why were the 5 gorgeous young blonde Danish fashion models sobbing their eyes out?

I told them I wasn't going to give birth to them.

One Thing to Know About Danish Cops

They Can't Lego Of Their Donuts

What do you call a Danish Sniper?

A Denmarksmen

What happens if a Danish blonde moves to Sweden?

The average intelligence of both countries goes up.

Danish joke, What happens if a Danish blonde moves to Sweden?

Fun fact: Popeye the Sailor Man isn't actually all that strong by Danish or Norwegian standards...

... but he's strong to the Finnish!

How do you say "prison lingo" in one word?


That Danish guy that killed a journalist on his submarine..

He must have known he was going down right?

A danish with one hole in the middle is a donut. A danish with two holes in the middle is...

Most likely dead

Did you hear about the guys who built fake chickens and sold them on the Danish market?

They really made a kylling

How do speakers of Dutch, English, French and Danish communicate with each other?

They speak Mumble-Saxon.

It turns out I'm Norwegian, Swedish, and Danish

Apparently there's more, but I can't Finnish.

I had a delicious breakfast. It was a nice flaky pastry filled with dog meat.

I think it was called a Great Danish.

What's the difference between a newlywed Danish couple and Batman's parents?

One couple are Wed Danes and the other are Dead Waynes.

What's a dogs favourite pastry?


Q:What makes fish jumpy?

A: Spring water

(Transmogrified Danish joke)

A Danish family are having lunch.

The youngest person, a 3 year-old, eats all his food and then says "I am finish!", as he couldn't talk properly.

His mum replies >!How dare you! We are Danish, not Finnish!!<

I had to throw out all of my danish currency

I didn't wanna catch the Kronervirus

If you go to a Scandinavian bakery you could Finnish a Swedish Danish.

Norway I'd make this up!

Why do Danish ships have bar codes on them?

So when they dock they can Scandinavian.

Did you know that Danish boats are given barcodes when they leave ports?

So when they come back, they can Scan-di-navy-in

In today's European Championship soccer match, several players from the Czech Republic were seen slipping on the grass repeatedly in their loss to Denmark, while their Danish opponents didn't seem to have an issue at all.

Must be an issue with Czechs and balances.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the danish swedeners jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working danish romanian piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes