Danger Jokes
118 danger jokes and hilarious danger puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about danger that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
This article explores the various types of jokes that arise from the popular Nickelodeon show Henry Danger's Danger Force. Discover how these hilarious jokes can range from light-hearted banter to dark deadpan humor and the potential danger that can arise from carrying a joke too far. From joking about entering the Danger Zone to making jokes about carcasses and other potentially troubling topics, get tips on when it's important to know when to warn against a joke.
Quick Jump To
Funniest Danger Short Jokes
Short danger jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The danger humour may include short threat jokes also.
- I tried to warn my son about the dangers of russian roulette... It went in one ear and out the other.
- I just got kicked out of karaoke night for singing "Danger Zone" six times in a row… They said I exceeded my maximum number of Loggins attempts…
- Cigarette warnings should also include how dangerous it is just going to purchase a package... My dad left 19 years ago to buy some and he still hasn't made it back.
- On my way home from work saw a man texting while driving.. Knowing how dangerous this can be I pulled up next to him, rolled down my window and threw my beer at him.
- Im not going to vaccinate my kids because its too dangerous Id rather the doctors do it to ensure its done right
- No one tells you how dangerous stargazing can be. I did it all afternoon and now I think I'm blind.
- What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a plastic grocery bag? One is made of plastic and dangerous for children to play with...
And the other carries groceries. - It's statistically proven that having a ladder in your home is more dangerous than a loaded gun that's why I have 12 guns in case some maniac tries to sneak a ladder in here
- My friend got fired from his cow milking job because of his erratic behavior. He was considered to be a danger to himself and udders.
- After reading about the dangers of bungee jumping, I decided not to go. I came into this world because of a broken rubber and I ain't going out cause of one.
Share These Danger Jokes With Friends
Danger One Liners
Which danger one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with danger? I can suggest the ones about risk and hazard.
- I still 100% stand behind Alec Baldwin.. Standing in front of him is too dangerous.
- What is long, black and dangerous to cut into? the line at KFC
- What is the most dangerous type of canoes? Volcanoes
- What is the most dangerous position in chess? C4
- Women's hockey is the most dangerous sport... Twelve women, three periods each.
- I like my pick-up lines how I like my cheetos Dangerously Cheesy
- I've heard rumors acid is dangerous. Pretty sure they are baseless though.
- What is the most dangerous part of a church? The pews.
- I'll tell you what's a dangerous insect... ....That Hepatitis Bee
- I survived the most dangerous place in America... And all I got was this lousy diploma
- Would it be dangerous for a human to live 65 million years ago? You bet jurassic would.
- Don't join dangerous cults Practice safe sects
- What's the most dangerous, predominantly black area known to man? Space
- How do you avoid stds while in a dangerous cult? By making sure to practice safe sects
- Why is it dangerous to do math in the jungle? Because if you add 4 plus 4, you get ate
Danger Zone Jokes
Here is a list of funny danger zone jokes and even better danger zone puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Did you hear that the guy that wrote Danger Zone had his identity stolen online? They got all his Kenny logins
- What does the singer of Danger Zone and other hits call his usernames and passwords? Kenny Log-ins.
- What function puts you in the danger zone The LOG^^^gins function!
- You better call Kenny Loggins CAUSE YOU'RE IN THE DANGER ZONE!
Stranger Danger Jokes
Here is a list of funny stranger danger jokes and even better stranger danger puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Jesus had a twin that was abducted shortly after birth In other words, there was doppelganger stranger danger in the manger.
Witty Danger Jokes for Laughter-Filled Fun with Friends
What funny jokes about danger you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean warning jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make danger pranks.
A lion walks into a bar...
Several people get up and leave predicting the impending danger.
So a rhino walks into a bar...
and several patrons pay their tabs and leave because they see the danger in this situation.
A horse walks into a bar
A horse walks into a bar. The other customers promptly get up and leave, seeing the potential danger in the situation
What's the most dangerous place in an Excel file?
C4
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What is the biggest danger to an ear f*cker?
Hearing AIDS.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The Philandering Duck
This swinging philandering duck suddenly became conscious of the danger of acquiring AIDS through s**... promiscuity.
To put himself at ease he went to his local druggist and asked for a c**.... "How much will that be?" asked the duck. "1 dollar and 19 cents" replied the druggist. "Would you like me to put this on your bill"? "What kind of a duck to you think I am"? replied the duck.
Danger is my middle name.
Avoid is my first, and Completely is my last. Nice to meet you.
Childbirth
Around 0AD childbirth was fraught with danger, but luckily for Jesus he was born in a stable condition
An US tourist visiting the USSR fell down the open manhole...
After he was helped out, he started complaining: why on earth such as danger was not marked properly? In the USA there would be red lanterns or at least some red flags. "How did you arrive in Moscow?" asked one of the Russians who helped him out. "Well, via Sheremetyevo airport". "Haven't you noticed the huge red flag on its main building?"
What is the most dangerous state of water?
Ice is.
I'll show myself out now.
What's the most dangerous animal in the world?
A Bluebird with a Tommy Gun.
Ever since I read an article about the danger of smoking
I stopped reading.
Sci Fi Films
I don't understand why in Sci Fi films, whenever there's danger they never send in a Cargo ship. So much for the Element of Supplies.
What's the world's most dangerous city?
Electricity
I really need to work on my accent marks
Or else my French grades may be in grave danger.
If Danger Dolan started making fun of people, would he be known as
Danger Trollan
What's the most dangerous place in Washington D.C.?
Between a politician and a news camera.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why is dangerous to have s**... in canada
eh'ds everywhere
Which is the most dangerous page of the newspaper?
C4.
Have you heard the one about the suicidal farmer that liked to mutilate cows?
He was a danger to himself and udders.
The most dangerous rollercoaster in the world is the Wolfcoaster
The dangerous part isn't the velocity. It's the wolves.
When in dangerous situation - you should always sleep with one eye opened.
Especially if you're a Cyclops.
Literary alcohol puns
I saw someone post some the other day. Has anyone thought of any new ones?
Here are a couple my friends and I thought of...
50 Shades of Grey Goose,
Into the Wild Turkey,
Beer and Present Danger,
Patriot Drinking Games,
The Sum of All Beers (I like Tom Clancy),
The Red Badge of Liquid Courage.
A gorilla walks into a bar...
And several people get up to leave seeing the possible danger of the situation.
What's the most dangerous thing in your freezer?
Ice is.
Why did the gravedigger quit his job at the haunted cementery?
He was in GRAVE danger.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Thank you Carlos Danger
Your w**... has saved the free world.
What's the most dangerous part about Scrabble
It's all fun and games until someone loses an I
Policeman stops priest on the bike...
Policeman: Hello father. Your light isn't working. That will be 20$.
Priest: Don't worry mister, i'm not in danger. Jesus is always with me.
Policeman: Sorry father. Then the fine is 40$ because two persons are not allowed to ride a bike.
Chicago's a dangerous place.
Last time I visited I stole two cars and a lady's purse.
What's more dangerous than a serial killer?
A parallel killer.
What is the most dangerous color?
Sharktreuse
What's the most dangerous tree in the world?
Dysentry.
A horse walks into a bar...
People begin to quickly, but calmly leave the bar as they realize the potential danger of the situation.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's more dangerous than running with the scissors?
s**... with the runs
What is the most dangerous animal?
A T- Rex...
He's licenced to carry small arms.
What's the most dangerous family?
Nuclear family
What is the most dangerous animal?
A bipolar bear.
A horse walks into a bar....
and many people in the bar stand up to leave aware of the danger in the situation.
What's the most dangerous thing about Steven Seagal?
his Cholesterol level
What is dangerous?
Sneezing while having diarrhea!
I'm about to have a dangerous cup of coffee...
...safe tea first, though.
Why is it dangerous to drive near churches?
Because there is so much cross traffic.
What's the most dangerous thing in the corporate ocean?
The Loan Shark
A drunk is leaving a bar and heads to his car...
A police officer notices the drunk fumbling with the keys and knowing the iminent danger, says to the man, "where do you think you're going like this? You can barely walk!" The man then replies, "I know, that's why I'm driving!"
Where is the most dangerous place to swim?
Hepatitis C.
What is the most dangerous spectrum of light?
Ultraviolent.
Boston's dead crows
On interstate I-95 running from Boston to New Hampshire they had a problem with crows being hit by vehicles. They were being killed by the hundreds. They hired a professor from MIT to figure out why so many crows were being hit. He discovered that when crows land to feed, they leave one crow in the tree to watch for danger. They found out that the Boston crows could say caw caw but they couldn't say truck truck .
How do you assess the danger of a chemical?
Hazmath
It's actually really dangerous to steal kitchen utensils from bakeries.
But you just have to be willing to take the whisk
The most dangerous thing about the World Cup being held in Russia
is ensuring the Kremlin doesn't eat after midnight
Why is it dangerous to have more than one violin in your house?
Because it leads to domestic violins.
(From my 9 year old...)
What's the most dangerous Caribbean food?
Ricin peas.
What does an avid sports books reader do to stave off boredom and danger on a camping trip?
They pack Heat.
It was really dangerous driving home from the pub yesterday...
Especially since I walked there.
Did you know that tornadoes can displace shellfish?
Apparently the locals in danger areas are able to identify oncoming bad weather due to the shellfish preceding it.
They call it the clam before the storm.
On a river rafting trip in Egypt, a couple began to sink. The husband urged his wife to swim to safety before the water got too deep, but she refused to believe she was in any danger.
She was too deep in de Nile.
What is dangerous when it falls from a tree?
A refrigerator.
What do ducks do when the see danger coming towards them.
They duck....
The most dangerous place in the world is Gunpoint.
I'm always hearing about it in the news, robbed or kidnapped at Gunpoint. Crazy.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
During these dangerous times, w**... have to stay together.
Who would watch the door and who would turn on the gas when w**... don't work together.
Failing surgery on a grape would make it...
in a grape danger.
It was quite dangerous for messengers back in the medieval era.
They often had to wear mail armor.
What's a danger in driving underground with friends?
Carpool Tunnel Syndrome
A bartender walks into a bar
demonstrating the danger of free beer.
I told my therapist that my marriage was in danger because I wouldn't stop doing a Borat impression
He asked me who led me to believe this ...
What do you call a dog who warns you about danger at the yogurt drink factory?
Mango Lassi
Have you heard the undead are attacking people?
Yeah we're in grave danger
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
God's assistant: why did you give man two eyes?
God: So he can know how far or close danger is
God's assistant: why two ears?
God: So he can know if danger is on the left or right
God's assistant: then why only one nose? Surely it won't help identify location of danger.
God: Yes but wouldn't it be funny when he won't know who f**... in the room.
Little Peter
Came in to class one day with burns all over his face.
The teacher asked him what happend.
"Well i bought a crate of fireworks and..."
"There you have it kids, fireworks are a real danger" the teacher interupted
"Thats exactly what my father said as he threw it into the fireplace"
You've been warned
A stranger enters a store and spots a sign: DANGER! BEWARE OF DOG! Inside, he sees a harmless old hound asleep on the floor.
"Is that the dog we're supposed to be aware of?" he asks the owner.
"That's him," comes the reply.
"He doesn't look at all dangerous to me. Why would you post that sign?"
"Before I posted that sign, people kept tripping over him."
What is the most dangerous bug at the moment?
The asymptoma tick
