The Best 79 Dang Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Dang jokes. There are some dang imma jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these dang ugh puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Dang Jokes and Puns
Here's a joke about a missing locomotive full of concepts and ideas.
Dang, I just lost my train of thought.
What's the most dangerous place in an Excel file?
C4
What is more dangerous than a polar bear?
A bi-polar bear.
I'll tell you what's a dangerous insect...
....That Hepatitis Bee
Danger is my middle name.
Avoid is my first, and Completely is my last. Nice to meet you.
What is the most dangerous state of water?
Ice is.
I'll show myself out now.
What's the most dangerous, predominantly black area known to man?
Space
What's the world's most dangerous city?
Electricity
Dang girl. Are you a werewolf...
Cause I'm lycan what I see.
Genius
A proud and confident genius makes a bet with an idiot. The genius says, "Hey idiot, every question I ask you that you don't know the answer, you have to give me $5. And if you ask me a question and I can't answer yours I will give you $5,000." The idiot says, "Okay." The genius then asks, "How many continents are there in the world?" The idiot doesn't know and hands over the $5. The idiot says, "Now me ask: what animal stands with two legs but sleeps with three?" The genius tries and searches very hard for the answer but gives up and hands over the $5000. The genius says, "Dang it, I lost. By the way, what was the answer to your question?" The idiot hands over $5.
Would it be dangerous for a human to live 65 million years ago?
You bet jurassic would.
You can explore dang damn reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean dang whew dad jokes. There are also dang puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Dang girl, I want to treat you like my big toe...
...and bang you on every piece of furniture in the house.
(sorry if its been submitted before)
Beer nuts are so dang expensive...
...luckily deer nuts are just under a buck.
I'm never buying clothes for my kids again
Dang baby goats just eat everything!
If Danger Dolan started making fun of people, would he be known as
Danger Trollan
What's the most dangerous place in Washington D.C.?
Between a politician and a news camera.
Why is dangerous to have sex in canada
eh'ds everywhere
Which is the most dangerous page of the newspaper?
C4.
Dang girl are you a CS map?
Cause you're looking DE_licious tonight.
Dang girl, Are you part of a ponzi scheme?
...because something smells fishy.
The most dangerous rollercoaster in the world is the Wolfcoaster
The dangerous part isn't the velocity. It's the wolves.
When in dangerous situation - you should always sleep with one eye opened.
Especially if you're a Cyclops.
What's the most dangerous bar to go to in the middle east?
The allahu ak-bar
What's the most dangerous thing in your freezer?
Ice is.
What's the most dangerous part about Scrabble
It's all fun and games until someone loses an I
I still remember the gorilla who became super famous really quickly
Dang, the fame hit him like a bullet.
Chicago's a dangerous place.
Last time I visited I stole two cars and a lady's purse.
What's more dangerous than a serial killer?
A parallel killer.
What is the most dangerous color?
Sharktreuse
What's the most dangerous tree in the world?
Dysentry.
What did the gingerbread man say when his house burned down?
Dang that cost me a lot of dough.
Dang girl are you a zero percent APR loan?
cuz I don't understand your terms and conditions and you keep saying you have no interest
Currently dangling on my shoelaces while tip toeing on a chair
You can say im hanging in there
What's more dangerous than running with the scissors?
Scissoring with the runs
What is the most dangerous animal?
A T- Rex...
He's licenced to carry small arms.
A woman has a water bottle filled with wine in her car.
A cop pulls her over
"Dang it Jesus did it again"
What is the most dangerous animal?
A bipolar bear.
What's the most dangerous thing about Steven Seagal?
his Cholesterol level
A dangerous parasite walks into a bar...
The bartender says, "We don't serve your kind in here."
The parasite replies, "Well, you're not a very good **host**."
I was on OkCupid and a girl said "Blonde haired immigrant here to steal your jobs."
I was like hahaha jokes on you. I don't have a job...
Dang it.
I'm about to have a dangerous cup of coffee...
...safe tea first, though.
Dang girl are you the Cross of Coronado?
Because you belong in a museum ;)
Why is it dangerous to drive near churches?
Because there is so much cross traffic.
What's the most dangerous thing in the corporate ocean?
The Loan Shark
What is more dangerous than a pitbull with AIDS ?
The guy who transmitted it to him.
Dang girl, are you a depolarizing cell membrane?
'cause you look like action potential!
Where is the most dangerous place to swim?
Hepatitis C.
What is the most dangerous spectrum of light?
Ultraviolent.
Dang this new wedding planner is great
For only an extra 200 bucks he'll consummate my marriage for me - whatever that means haha
How did NASCAR get its name?
One day a redneck looked at his friend's car and said dang that's a nas car ya got thare
It's actually really dangerous to steal kitchen utensils from bakeries.
But you just have to be willing to take the whisk
A doctor walks into a bank...
When he goes to sign a check, he pulls a rectal thermometer out of his pocket. He looks up at the banker and says "Dang it, some ***hole has my pen!"
The most dangerous thing about the World Cup being held in Russia
is ensuring the Kremlin doesn't eat after midnight
Why is it dangerous to have more than one violin in your house?
Because it leads to domestic violins.
(From my 9 year old...)
An Asian man walked past me today
He was yawning. That made me yawn. I said Dang, you made me yawn. He laughed, then got a puzzled look on his face and asked me How did you know my name?
What's the most dangerous Caribbean food?
Ricin peas.
It was really dangerous driving home from the pub yesterday...
Especially since I walked there.
Guy goes into a bar
A guy goes into a bar, orders twelve beers and starts drinking them as fast as he can.
The bartender says, "Dang, why are you drinking so fast?"
The guy says, "You would be drinking fast if you had what I had."
The bartender says, "What do you have?"
The guy says, "Only 75 cents."
What is dangerous when it falls from a tree?
A refrigerator.
A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel in his pants...
A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel in his pants. Bartender asks "Dang man, doesn't that hurt?". The pirate replies "ARRRGGH IT'S DRIVING ME NUTS!!!"
An animal health inspector will be here in a few minutes, but the dang farmhand just gave the cows a bunch of marijuana
The steaks have never been higher.
The most dangerous place in the world is Gunpoint.
I'm always hearing about it in the news, robbed or kidnapped at Gunpoint. Crazy.
What's more dangerous than a pit bull with AIDS?
The guy who gave his AIDS.
Dang girl are you a Mexican wrestler?
Cause I luchadore you
That's Dangerous!
I'm never jumping out of the 3rd floor window again...
I could've killed myself!
Why is it dangerous to do math in the jungle?
Because if you add 4 plus 4, you get ate
Why is it dangerous to listen to too much Queen?
Because of its high Mercury content.
What did the Italian Dictator say to those dang Allies?
Get off Mi-Lan!
What is the most dangerous bug at the moment?
The asymptoma tick
What did grandma say when she removed her bra?
Dang! The floor is COLD.
Bra Sazes
Have u ever wondered why A, B, C, D, DD, E, F, G, and H are the letters used to define bra sizes but couldn't figure out what the letters stood for? Well its time you became informed!
(A) Almost boobs.
(B) Barely there.
(C) Can't Complain!
(D) Dang!
(DD) Double Dang!
(E) Enormous!
(F) Fake.
(G) Get a Reduction.
(H) Help me, I've fallen and I can't get up!!!
It's going to be dangerous to trick-or-treat this Halloween due to the coronavirus pandemic.
The only way you're getting candy from a stranger this year is by putting on a mask and going to the grocery store.
What's the difference between a paintball player and a skydiver?
A paint baller goes *SPLAT* Dang!
A skydiver goes Dang! *SPLAT*
What's the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver?
A bad golfer goes whack, dang. A bad skydiver goes dang, whack.
In a dangerous situation, I'd always put my children first.
I do this because I have a crippling habit of hiding behind my mistakes.
Two tomato's are chilling in the fridge
The first one says "Dang, its kind of cold in here"
The second one backs away, and says "Holy shit its a talking tomato"
A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says, Hey, we've got a drink named after you!
The grasshopper says, Oh dang, you got a drink named Larry?
What's the most dangerous thing a flat-earter can do?
Living life on the edge.
The hot farmer
A hot, sweaty farmer walks into a bar and orders a cold beer. "Dang, our baler broke down in the field today, and its humid and 100+ degrees out," the farmer complains. "I'm so hot and sweaty from repairing that thing that I just want to rip off all my dirty, sweaty clothes and run around the bar in frustration." "Wait!" the bartender exclaims before reaching under the bar and grabbing a bottle of Windex and spraying the farmer down. "There. That should stop you from streaking."
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the dang gee jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working dang duh piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.