Following is our collection of damn puns and imma one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Dang jokes for adults, dirty whew jokes and clean ugh dad gags for kids.
A guy goes into a bar, orders twelve beers and starts drinking them as fast as he can.
The bartender says, "Dang, why are you drinking so fast?"
The guy says, "You would be drinking fast if you had what I had."
The bartender says, "What do you have?"
The guy says, "Only 75 cents."
Scissoring with the runs
....That Hepatitis Bee
Because it leads to domestic violins.
(From my 9 year old...)
A proud and confident genius makes a bet with an idiot. The genius says, "Hey idiot, every question I ask you that you don't know the answer, you have to give me $5. And if you ask me a question and I can't answer yours I will give you $5,000." The idiot says, "Okay." The genius then asks, "How many continents are there in the world?" The idiot doesn't know and hands over the $5. The idiot says, "Now me ask: what animal stands with two legs but sleeps with three?" The genius tries and searches very hard for the answer but gives up and hands over the $5000. The genius says, "Dang it, I lost. By the way, what was the answer to your question?" The idiot hands over $5.
Cause I'm lycan what I see.
Have u ever wondered why A, B, C, D, DD, E, F, G, and H are the letters used to define bra sizes but couldn't figure out what the letters stood for? Well its time you became informed!
(A) Almost boobs.
(B) Barely there.
(C) Can't Complain!
(D) Dang!
(DD) Double Dang!
(E) Enormous!
(F) Fake.
(G) Get a Reduction.
(H) Help me, I've fallen and I can't get up!!!
cuz I don't understand your terms and conditions and you keep saying you have no interest
You bet jurassic would.
Space
Because if you add 4 plus 4, you get ate
...safe tea first, though.
A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel in his pants. Bartender asks "Dang man, doesn't that hurt?". The pirate replies "ARRRGGH IT'S DRIVING ME NUTS!!!"
When he goes to sign a check, he pulls a rectal thermometer out of his pocket. He looks up at the banker and says "Dang it, some ***hole has my pen!"
The bartender says, "We don't serve your kind in here."
The parasite replies, "Well, you're not a very good **host**."
Ice is.
It's all fun and games until someone loses an I
A parallel killer.
...and bang you on every piece of furniture in the house.
(sorry if its been submitted before)
But you just have to be willing to take the whisk
Dang that cost me a lot of dough.
Hepatitis C.
'cause you look like action potential!
The only way you're getting candy from a stranger this year is by putting on a mask and going to the grocery store.
C4.
Ice is.
I'll show myself out now.
Dang, I just lost my train of thought.
Because of its high Mercury content.
is ensuring the Kremlin doesn't eat after midnight
his Cholesterol level
Especially since I walked there.
Because you belong in a museum ;)
Between a politician and a news camera.
Because there is so much cross traffic.
...luckily deer nuts are just under a buck.
Ricin peas.
Dang, the fame hit him like a bullet.
eh'ds everywhere
A bi-polar bear.
Get off Mi-Lan!
Ultraviolent.
The guy who transmitted it to him.
...because something smells fishy.
Electricity
Avoid is my first, and Completely is my last. Nice to meet you.
The asymptoma tick
One day a redneck looked at his friend's car and said dang that's a nas car ya got thare
You can say im hanging in there
Dysentry.
Last time I visited I stole two cars and a lady's purse.
Danger Trollan
Dang baby goats just eat everything!
Dang! The floor is COLD.
For only an extra 200 bucks he'll consummate my marriage for me - whatever that means haha
The Loan Shark
Sharktreuse
The dangerous part isn't the velocity. It's the wolves.
Cause you're looking DE_licious tonight.
C4
I'm never jumping out of the 3rd floor window again...
I could've killed myself!
Carpool Tunnel Syndrome
Cause I luchadore you
They often had to wear mail armor.
The guy who gave his AIDS.
Who would watch the door and who would turn on the gas when whites don't work together.
I'm always hearing about it in the news, robbed or kidnapped at Gunpoint. Crazy.
The steaks have never been higher.
A refrigerator.
He was yawning. That made me yawn. I said Dang, you made me yawn. He laughed, then got a puzzled look on his face and asked me How did you know my name?
I was like hahaha jokes on you. I don't have a job...
Dang it.
Sneezing while having diarrhea!
A bipolar bear.
Nuclear family
A cop pulls her over
"Dang it Jesus did it again"
A T- Rex...
He's licenced to carry small arms.
The allahu ak-bar
Especially if you're a Cyclops.
A Bluebird with a Tommy Gun.
Dang ol' Dangle dangle.
There is an abundance of gee jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 79 funniest jokes and dang puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any duh witze you can hear about dang.
Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.