Dang Jokes
88 dang jokes and hilarious dang puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about dang that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Dang Short Jokes
Short dang jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The dang humour may include short gosh jokes also.
- Dang girl are you a zero percent APR loan? cuz I don't understand your terms and conditions and you keep saying you have no interest
- What's the difference between a paintball player and a skydiver? A paint baller goes *SPLAT* Dang!
A skydiver goes Dang! *SPLAT* - What did the gingerbread man say when his house burned down? Dang that cost me a lot of dough.
- Voldemort: Knock Knock James: Who's there?
Voldemort: You Know
James: You Know who?
Voldemort: Exactly.
James: Aw, Dang! - Here's a joke about a missing locomotive full of concepts and ideas. Dang, I just lost my train of thought.
- I still remember the gorilla who became super famous really quickly Dang, the fame hit him like a bullet.
- Dang this new wedding planner is great For only an extra 200 bucks he'll consummate my marriage for me - whatever that means haha
- An Asian man walked past me today He was yawning. That made me yawn. I said Dang, you made me yawn. He laughed, then got a puzzled look on his face and asked me How did you know my name?
- A woman has a water bottle filled with wine in her car. A cop pulls her over
"Dang it Jesus did it again" - Who was the first to see a cow and think "I wonder what will happen if I squeeze these dangly things and drink whatever comes out?"
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Dang One Liners
Which dang one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with dang? I can suggest the ones about jeez and bummer.
- Dang girl. Are you a werewolf... Cause I'm lycan what I see.
- Dang girl, are you a depolarizing cell membrane? 'cause you look like action potential!
- I hate it when I stub my toe while rapping Gucci-dang
- I'm never buying clothes for my kids again Dang baby goats just eat everything!
- What did grandma say when she removed her bra? Dang! The floor is COLD.
- Dang girl are you a Mexican wrestler? Cause I luchadore you
- Dang girl are you a CS map? Cause you're looking DE_licious tonight.
- Dang! I just dropped my phone in the toilet! Sh*tty iPhone.
- What did the butcher say to the well dressed man? Dang, you got mutton on me!
- Cruz is cruzin' for a bruise Dang it..
He outta the race - Dang girl, are you a zombie? Cuz I'm bringing you back from the dead!
- There are three things I can never remember.... There....um....uh....dang it! I forgot!
- Oh dang! What is it dawg? I forgot it's father's day... ಠ_ಠ
- Dang girl are you the Cross of Coronado? Because you belong in a museum ;)
- What did the Italian Dictator say to those dang Allies? Get off Mi-Lan!
Hilarious Dang Jokes to Make Your Friends Roar with Laughter
What funny jokes about dang you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean oh snap jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make dang pranks.
What's the most dangerous place in an Excel file?
C4
I'll tell you what's a dangerous insect...
....That Hepatitis Bee
A dangling pointer was trying to address...
But nobody cared as it was referring to a lot of garbage.
Danger is my middle name.
Avoid is my first, and Completely is my last. Nice to meet you.
What is the most dangerous state of water?
Ice is.
I'll show myself out now.
What's the most dangerous, predominantly black area known to man?
Space
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How does Boomhower describe the g**... of the Lieutenant from the Reno Police Department?
Dang ol' Dangle dangle.
What's the most dangerous animal in the world?
A Bluebird with a Tommy Gun.
What's the world's most dangerous city?
Electricity
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Genius
A proud and confident genius makes a bet with an idiot. The genius says, "Hey idiot, every question I ask you that you don't know the answer, you have to give me $5. And if you ask me a question and I can't answer yours I will give you $5,000." The idiot says, "Okay." The genius then asks, "How many continents are there in the world?" The idiot doesn't know and hands over the $5. The idiot says, "Now me ask: what animal stands with two legs but sleeps with three?" The genius tries and searches very hard for the answer but gives up and hands over the $5000. The genius says, "Dang it, I lost. By the way, what was the answer to your question?" The idiot hands over $5.
Would it be dangerous for a human to live 65 million years ago?
You bet jurassic would.
If Danger Dolan started making fun of people, would he be known as
Danger Trollan
What's the most dangerous place in Washington D.C.?
Between a politician and a news camera.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why is dangerous to have s**... in canada
eh'ds everywhere
Which is the most dangerous page of the newspaper?
C4.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Dang girl, Are you part of a ponzi scheme?
...because something smells fishy.
The most dangerous rollercoaster in the world is the Wolfcoaster
The dangerous part isn't the velocity. It's the wolves.
When in dangerous situation - you should always sleep with one eye opened.
Especially if you're a Cyclops.
What's the most dangerous thing in your freezer?
Ice is.
What's the most dangerous part about Scrabble
It's all fun and games until someone loses an I
Chicago's a dangerous place.
Last time I visited I stole two cars and a lady's purse.
What's more dangerous than a serial killer?
A parallel killer.
What is the most dangerous color?
Sharktreuse
What's the most dangerous tree in the world?
Dysentry.
Currently dangling on my shoelaces while tip toeing on a chair
You can say im hanging in there
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's more dangerous than running with the scissors?
s**... with the runs
What is the most dangerous animal?
A T- Rex...
He's licenced to carry small arms.
What is the most dangerous animal?
A bipolar bear.
What's the most dangerous thing about Steven Seagal?
his Cholesterol level
I'm about to have a dangerous cup of coffee...
...safe tea first, though.
Why is it dangerous to drive near churches?
Because there is so much cross traffic.
What's the most dangerous thing in the corporate ocean?
The Loan Shark
Where is the most dangerous place to swim?
Hepatitis C.
What is the most dangerous spectrum of light?
Ultraviolent.
It's actually really dangerous to steal kitchen utensils from bakeries.
But you just have to be willing to take the whisk
The most dangerous thing about the World Cup being held in Russia
is ensuring the Kremlin doesn't eat after midnight
Why is it dangerous to have more than one violin in your house?
Because it leads to domestic violins.
(From my 9 year old...)
What's the most dangerous Caribbean food?
Ricin peas.
It was really dangerous driving home from the pub yesterday...
Especially since I walked there.
Guy goes into a bar
A guy goes into a bar, orders twelve beers and starts drinking them as fast as he can.
The bartender says, "Dang, why are you drinking so fast?"
The guy says, "You would be drinking fast if you had what I had."
The bartender says, "What do you have?"
The guy says, "Only 75 cents."
What is dangerous when it falls from a tree?
A refrigerator.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An animal health inspector will be here in a few minutes, but the dang farmhand just gave the cows a bunch of m**...
The steaks have never been higher.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
During these dangerous times, w**... have to stay together.
Who would watch the door and who would turn on the gas when w**... don't work together.
Why is it dangerous to do math in the jungle?
Because if you add 4 plus 4, you get ate
What is the most dangerous bug at the moment?
The asymptoma tick
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Bra Sazes
Have u ever wondered why A, B, C, D, DD, E, F, G, and H are the letters used to define bra sizes but couldn't figure out what the letters stood for? Well its time you became informed!
(A) Almost b**....
(B) Barely there.
(C) Can't Complain!
(D) Dang!
(DD) Double Dang!
(E) Enormous!
(F) Fake.
(G) Get a Reduction.
(H) Help me, I've fallen and I can't get up!!!
It's going to be dangerous to trick-or-treat this Halloween due to the coronavirus pandemic.
The only way you're getting candy from a stranger this year is by putting on a mask and going to the grocery store.
In a dangerous situation, I'd always put my children first.
I do this because I have a crippling habit of hiding behind my mistakes.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two tomato's are chilling in the fridge
The first one says "Dang, its kind of cold in here"
The second one backs away, and says "Holy s**... its a talking tomato"
What's the most dangerous thing a flat-earter can do?
Living life on the edge.
The hot farmer
A hot, sweaty farmer walks into a bar and orders a cold beer. "Dang, our baler broke down in the field today, and its humid and 100+ degrees out," the farmer complains. "I'm so hot and sweaty from repairing that thing that I just want to rip off all my dirty, sweaty clothes and run around the bar in frustration." "Wait!" the bartender exclaims before reaching under the bar and grabbing a bottle of Windex and spraying the farmer down. "There. That should stop you from streaking."
What is the most dangerous job in Russia?
Opposition party leader.
Dangerfield on Carson: : "One night my wife went out and her car was stolen"
"I asked her 'did you see what he looked like?' She said, 'no but I got the license plate number.'"
What is the most dangerous part of a church?
The pews.
What is the most dangerous position in chess?
C4
What is the most dangerous type of canoes?
Volcanoes
