Dang Jokes
88 dang jokes and hilarious dang puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about dang that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Dang Short Jokes
Short dang jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The dang humour may include short gosh jokes also.
- Dang girl are you a zero percent APR loan? cuz I don't understand your terms and conditions and you keep saying you have no interest
- A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says, Hey, we've got a drink named after you! The grasshopper says, Oh dang, you got a drink named Larry?
- What's the difference between a paintball player and a skydiver? A paint baller goes *SPLAT* Dang!
A skydiver goes Dang! *SPLAT* - What's the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver? A bad golfer goes whack, dang. A bad skydiver goes dang, whack.
- Why did Britain change its name to Brian? Because those dang colonists got rid of their tea.
- Dang girl, I want to treat you like my big toe... ...and bang you on every piece of furniture in the house.
(sorry if its been submitted before) - What did the gingerbread man say when his house burned down? Dang that cost me a lot of dough.
- Voldemort: Knock Knock James: Who's there?
Voldemort: You Know
James: You Know who?
Voldemort: Exactly.
James: Aw, Dang! - Here's a joke about a missing locomotive full of concepts and ideas. Dang, I just lost my train of thought.
- I still remember the gorilla who became super famous really quickly Dang, the fame hit him like a bullet.
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Dang One Liners
Which dang one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with dang? I can suggest the ones about jeez and holey.
- Dang girl. Are you a werewolf... Cause I'm lycan what I see.
- Dang girl, are you a depolarizing cell membrane? 'cause you look like action potential!
- Dang girl are you the Cross of Coronado? Because you belong in a museum ;)
- Beer nuts are so dang expensive... ...luckily deer nuts are just under a buck.
- What did the Italian Dictator say to those dang Allies? Get off Mi-Lan!
- Dang girl, Are you part of a ponzi scheme? ...because something smells fishy.
- I hate it when I stub my toe while rapping Gucci-dang
- I'm never buying clothes for my kids again Dang baby goats just eat everything!
- What did grandma say when she removed her bra? Dang! The floor is COLD.
- Dang girl are you a Mexican wrestler? Cause I luchadore you
- Dang girl are you a CS map? Cause you're looking DE_licious tonight.
- Dang! I just dropped my phone in the toilet! Sh*tty iPhone.
- What did the butcher say to the well dressed man? Dang, you got mutton on me!
- Cruz is cruzin' for a bruise Dang it..
He outta the race - Dang girl, are you a zombie? Cuz I'm bringing you back from the dead!
Hilarious Dang Jokes to Make Your Friends Roar with Laughter
What funny jokes about dang you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean bummer jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make dang pranks.
What's the most dangerous place in an Excel file?
C4
What is more dangerous than a polar bear?
A bi-polar bear.
I'll tell you what's a dangerous insect...
....That Hepatitis Bee
Danger is my middle name.
Avoid is my first, and Completely is my last. Nice to meet you.
What is the most dangerous state of water?
Ice is.
I'll show myself out now.
What's the most dangerous, predominantly black area known to man?
Space
What's the world's most dangerous city?
Electricity
Genius
A proud and confident genius makes a bet with an idiot. The genius says, "Hey idiot, every question I ask you that you don't know the answer, you have to give me $5. And if you ask me a question and I can't answer yours I will give you $5,000." The idiot says, "Okay." The genius then asks, "How many continents are there in the world?" The idiot doesn't know and hands over the $5. The idiot says, "Now me ask: what animal stands with two legs but sleeps with three?" The genius tries and searches very hard for the answer but gives up and hands over the $5000. The genius says, "Dang it, I lost. By the way, what was the answer to your question?" The idiot hands over $5.
Would it be dangerous for a human to live 65 million years ago?
You bet jurassic would.
If Danger Dolan started making fun of people, would he be known as
Danger Trollan
What's the most dangerous place in Washington D.C.?
Between a politician and a news camera.
Why is dangerous to have s**... in canada
eh'ds everywhere
Which is the most dangerous page of the newspaper?
C4.
What's the most dangerous thing in your freezer?
Ice is.
What's the most dangerous part about Scrabble
It's all fun and games until someone loses an I
Chicago's a dangerous place.
Last time I visited I stole two cars and a lady's purse.
What's more dangerous than a serial killer?
A parallel killer.
What is the most dangerous color?
Sharktreuse
What's the most dangerous tree in the world?
Dysentry.
Currently dangling on my shoelaces while tip toeing on a chair
You can say im hanging in there
What's more dangerous than running with the scissors?
s**... with the runs
What's the most dangerous thing about Steven Seagal?
his Cholesterol level
A dangerous parasite walks into a bar...
The bartender says, "We don't serve your kind in here."
The parasite replies, "Well, you're not a very good **host**."
I'm about to have a dangerous cup of coffee...
...safe tea first, though.
Why is it dangerous to drive near churches?
Because there is so much cross traffic.
What's the most dangerous thing in the corporate ocean?
The Loan Shark
What is more dangerous than a pitbull with AIDS ?
The guy who transmitted it to him.
Where is the most dangerous place to swim?
Hepatitis C.
What is the most dangerous spectrum of light?
Ultraviolent.
Dang this new wedding planner is great
For only an extra 200 bucks he'll consummate my marriage for me - whatever that means haha
How did NASCAR get its name?
One day a r**... looked at his friend's car and said dang that's a nas car ya got thare
It's actually really dangerous to steal kitchen utensils from bakeries.
But you just have to be willing to take the whisk
A doctor walks into a bank...
When he goes to sign a check, he pulls a r**... thermometer out of his pocket. He looks up at the banker and says "Dang it, some ***hole has my pen!"
The most dangerous thing about the World Cup being held in Russia
is ensuring the Kremlin doesn't eat after midnight
Why is it dangerous to have more than one violin in your house?
Because it leads to domestic violins.
(From my 9 year old...)
What's the most dangerous Caribbean food?
Ricin peas.
It was really dangerous driving home from the pub yesterday...
Especially since I walked there.
Guy goes into a bar
A guy goes into a bar, orders twelve beers and starts drinking them as fast as he can.
The bartender says, "Dang, why are you drinking so fast?"
The guy says, "You would be drinking fast if you had what I had."
The bartender says, "What do you have?"
The guy says, "Only 75 cents."
A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel in his pants...
A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel in his pants. Bartender asks "Dang man, doesn't that hurt?". The pirate replies "ARRRGGH IT'S DRIVING ME NUTS!!!"
Why is it dangerous to do math in the jungle?
Because if you add 4 plus 4, you get ate
Why is it dangerous to listen to too much Queen?
Because of its high Mercury content.
What is the most dangerous bug at the moment?
The asymptoma tick
Bra Sazes
Have u ever wondered why A, B, C, D, DD, E, F, G, and H are the letters used to define bra sizes but couldn't figure out what the letters stood for? Well its time you became informed!
(A) Almost b**....
(B) Barely there.
(C) Can't Complain!
(D) Dang!
(DD) Double Dang!
(E) Enormous!
(F) Fake.
(G) Get a Reduction.
(H) Help me, I've fallen and I can't get up!!!
It's going to be dangerous to trick-or-treat this Halloween due to the coronavirus pandemic.
The only way you're getting candy from a stranger this year is by putting on a mask and going to the grocery store.
In a dangerous situation, I'd always put my children first.
I do this because I have a crippling habit of hiding behind my mistakes.
Two tomato's are chilling in the fridge
The first one says "Dang, its kind of cold in here"
The second one backs away, and says "Holy s**... its a talking tomato"
What's the most dangerous thing a flat-earter can do?
Living life on the edge.
The hot farmer
A hot, sweaty farmer walks into a bar and orders a cold beer. "Dang, our baler broke down in the field today, and its humid and 100+ degrees out," the farmer complains. "I'm so hot and sweaty from repairing that thing that I just want to rip off all my dirty, sweaty clothes and run around the bar in frustration." "Wait!" the bartender exclaims before reaching under the bar and grabbing a bottle of Windex and spraying the farmer down. "There. That should stop you from streaking."
What is the most dangerous job in Russia?
Opposition party leader.
Dangerfield on Carson: : "One night my wife went out and her car was stolen"
"I asked her 'did you see what he looked like?' She said, 'no but I got the license plate number.'"
What is the most dangerous part of a church?
The pews.
What is the most dangerous position in chess?
C4
What is the most dangerous type of canoes?
Volcanoes
