Dane Jokes

53 dane jokes and hilarious dane puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about dane that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Looking for some great Dane jokes? Read this article to find out some of the best from Dane Cook and other European, Swede, and Israeli comedians. From puns to one liners, this article will have you laughing.

Best Short Dane Jokes

Short dane jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The dane humour may include short swede jokes also.

  1. Woman goes to the vet because her Great Dane keeps jumping on her when she is in the shower... VET: Ok, so want him neutered?
    Woman: No, declawed.
  2. "When I was younger they all laughed when I said I wanted to be a comedian," said Dane Cook. "Nobody's laughing now!"
  3. When I was a kid I really wanted a Great Dane But all my parents could afford was an Okay Swede.
  4. What do you get when you take a Great Dane and cross it with a Chihuahua? A dead chihuahua.
  5. Screw this! I'm going to leave the original joke making to the professionals! Dane Cook...
    Amy Schumer...
    Carlos Mencia...
  6. What's the difference between a newlywed Danish couple and Batman's parents? One couple are Wed Danes and the other are Dead Waynes.
  7. Despite the massive age difference, my dad was surprisingly relieved to hear I was dating Dane Cook. He said at least he won't try anything funny.
  8. Whenever somebody says the next person like Trump is going to be worse than him... I am heartened by the fact that they said the same thing about Dane Cook.
  9. TIL: A famous comedian's close family member was charge with killing a dog and spreading it on his Tacos! It appears... Great Dane Cook's Great Grandfather Grated and cooked a great Great Dane.
  10. Me: I got bitten on my walk by a Great Dane **Her:** My God — imagine if it had been a small child
    **Me:** I could have fought off a small child, Barb

Quick Jump To

Dane joke, Me: I got bitten on my walk by a Great Dane

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about dane can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of dane puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

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Dane One Liners

Which dane one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with dane? I can suggest the ones about chap and great dane.

  1. What do you call a Great Dane wearing a snorkel? Scuba-Doo!
  2. What do you call the son of a dane and a german? Danger
  3. Today I saw a baby Chihuahua killing a Great Dane. How?
    Great Dane choked to death.
  4. Why did the boy name his dog Hamlet? Because it was a Great Dane.
  5. American,Russian and Dane drinking. Who will win? Liver inflammation.
  6. If Dane Cook was a dog, what kind of dog would he be? Definitely not a Great Dane
  7. Why does Dane look so much like done? Because it's close to Finnish
  8. How do you call the best veterinary hospital in Denmark? Great Dane pets hospital.
  9. What's a Dane's favourite song? Come On Up To Aarhus.
  10. How many Danes does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. They're happy the way it is.
  11. Did you hear about the dog that hung himself? He was a bored dane.
  12. Danes are the most humble people on earth... Also in this aspect we are the best!
  13. FUNNIEST thing Dane Cook ever said. ...
  14. Dane Cook Karen joke Karen, is ALWAYS a d**....
  15. I got mauled by a Great Dane and ended up in intensive care Come on s**... Doo, ICU

Great Dane Jokes

Here is a list of funny great dane jokes and even better great dane puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Do you know why s**... Doo is the most viewed cartoon in denmark? Because he's a Great Dane
  • My girlfriend and I purchased a Great Dane, and now the smell around our house is absolutely revolting. Every time he barks I s**... myself.
  • What do you call an underwater adventure with a Great Dane? s**...-Diving
  • What do hamlet and s**...-Doo have in common? They're both great Danes.
  • What Shaggy be eating If Shaggy and s**... always run side by side, and a Great Dane's speed is about 40 mph, then would Shaggy be the fastest human alive, beating Usain Bolt's 27 mph?
  • What do you get when you mix a Great Dane with Dalmatian? A Great d**...
  • What do you get when you have a great Dane, a Clydesdale, and a p**...? A huge dog and pony show

Dane Cook Jokes

Here is a list of funny dane cook jokes and even better dane cook puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • r**... isn't funny.. Especially if you're being r**... by Dane Cook. Than its totally not funny.
Dane joke, r**... isn't funny..

Uplifting Dane Jokes to have Hilarious Fun with Friends

What funny jokes about dane you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean danish jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make dane prank.

Guy walks into bar

Wanting to know who owns the Great Dane t**... outside because his dog just killed said Great Dane.
A man at the bar stands up obviously perplexed and says what kind of dog do you have that it just killed my Great Dane?
Other man responds proudly he owns a Chiwawa.
You're saying your Chiwawa killed my Great Dane? Not really believing what he was hearing.
Yes other man responds my dog got lodged in your dogs t**...

Two dogs are at the vet talking.

Two dogs are at the vet talking.
Great Dane: So what are you here for?
Poodle: Well I've been wandering around the neighborhood too much lately looking for s**... so they're having me castrated, you?
Great Dane: My mistress does the housework n**..., she was bending over cleaning the vegetable draw in the fridge and I just couldn't help myself so I went for it.
Poodle: So you're here for castration too hey?
Great Dane: No, I'm here to get my claws trimmed.

An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman... (long joke)

An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Latvian, a Turk, a German, an Indian, several Americans (including a Hawaiian and an Alaskan), an Argentinean, a Dane, an Australian, a Slovak, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Moroccan, a Frenchman, a New Zealander, a Spaniard, a Russian, a Guatemalan, a Colombian, a Pakistani, a Malaysian, a Croatian, an Uzbek, a Cypriot, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Chinese, a Sri Lankan, a Lebanese, a Cayman Islander, a Ugandan, a Vietnamese, a Korean, a Uruguayan, a Czech, an Icelander, a Mexican, a Finn, a Honduran, a Panamanian, an Andorran, an Israeli, a Venezuelan, an Iranian, a Fijian, a Peruvian, an Estonian, a Syrian, a Brazilian, a Portuguese, a Liechtensteiner, a Mongolian, a Hungarian, a Canadian, a Moldovan, a Haitian, a Norfolk Islander, a Macedonian, a Bolivian, a Cook Islander, a Tajikistani, a Samoan, an Armenian, an Aruban, an Albanian, a Greenlander, a Micronesian, a v**... Islander, a Georgian, a Bahaman, a Belarusian, a Cuban, a Tongan, a Cambodian, a Canadian, a Qatari, an Azerbaijani, a Romanian, a Chilean, a Jamaican, a Filipino, a Ukrainian, a Dutchman, a Ghanaian, an Ecuadorian, a Costa Rican, a Swede, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Swiss, a Greek, a Belgian, a Singaporean, an Italian, a Norwegian, 2 Africans and you...
walk into a fine restaurant.
"I'm sorry," says the maître d', after scrutinizing the group, "but you can't come in here without a Thai."

They walk in the bar

A bartender is working at an upscale bar downtown when all of the sudden, an Englishman, a Dane, a Frenchman, a German, a Russian, an American, a Canadian, a Mexican, a Peruvian, a Brazilian, a Colombian, a Chinese, a Japanese, a Korean, 29 different Africans from all different African countries, and an Indian all walk in to the bar.
And the bartender says to them, sorry gentlemen, but you can't come here without a Thai.
^thanks ^SnW

An American, a Brit, a Canadian, a Dane, an Ethiopian, a Frenchman, a Greek, a Haitian, an Irishman, a Jew, a Kiwi, a Lithuanian, a Mongolian, a Nigerian, an Omani, a Peruvian, a Qatari, a Roman, a Scotsman, a Uruguayan, a Venezuelan, a Western Saharan, a xenophobe and a Zimbabwean walk into a bar

The bartender says
"Im sorry, but you can't come in here without a Thai"

51 Danes and 50 Norwegians were on a plane...

With no floor, and the passengers were hanging on a strap attached to the roof. The captain yelled: "The plane is too heavy! One of you have to fall to your death!" A Dane raised his hand and said: "I'll do it". Then all the Norwegians clapped their hands.

two dogs at the vet

A great dane and a poodle are in nearby kennels at a vet's office.
Poodle: "I get overly excited and pee on the floor when my owner comes home. His evil wife is having me put to sleep. What are you in for?"
Dane: "That's too bad. I got way too excited when my owner started doing Bikram yoga. I couldn't help it...I started h**... her like crazy."
Poodle: "So is she putting you down too?"
Dane: "Naw, I'm just getting my nails done."

A man takes his Great Dane to the vet

The vet picks the dog up and inspects him and says to the man.
Sir, your dog has cataracts and I will have to put him down
The man says You have to put my dog down for cataracts!?!?
The vet replies Oh no he`s just very heavy

There was once a blind finn, deaf dane and a swede, who was in a wheelchair.

They found a bottle whose spirit promised everyone a wish.
The finn wished first, and soon yelled: I CAN SEE I CAN SEE!
then the dane wished, and soon yelled: I CAN HEAR I CAN HEAR!
Then the swede wished, and soon he yelled: NEW TIRES NEW TIRES!

Why is Danearys so cold?

7" of Snow

A guy goes into a bar . . .

. . . and the bartender offers him a Budweiser.
"No thanks," the guy says. "Last weekend I drank a case of Budweiser and I blew chunks."
"Well of course," the bartender says. "Anyone would throw up after drinking a case of beer."
"No, you don't understand," the guy says. "Chunks is my Great Dane!"

A man walks into a bar and leaves his Great Dane outside

All of a sudden, someone bursts into the bar and asks the man: "Excuse me, is that your Great Dane outside? My Chihuahua has just killed it!"
The man stares back very confused. "What? Your Chihuahua has just killed my 150lb Great Dane? That's impossible! What could your Chihuahua have done to kill my Great Dane?"
"Well, I think it choked on my Chihuahua"

Dane joke, Why does Dane look so much like done?

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these dane jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.