Dance Jokes
173 dance jokes and hilarious dance puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about dance that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Laugh out loud with these hilarious dance jokes! Find a joke about your favorite form of dance, whether it be tap, Irish, cleft, or even the Macarena. Enjoy these dance puns, jokes, and stories sure to keep any dancer's spirits high!
Quick Jump To
- Short Dance Jokes
- Dance One Liners
- Dance Moves Jokes
- Dance Day Jokes
- Dance Floor Jokes
- Tap Dance Jokes
- Irish Dance Jokes
- More Dance Jokes
Funniest Dance Short Jokes
Short dance jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The dance humour may include short ballet jokes also.
- I went to a bar last night and I saw a fat chick dancing on a table.
I said "Wow, great legs."
She giggled and said "Really?"
I said "Yea, most tables would've collapsed by now." - I went to a dance. First they played 'Jump', so I jumped.
Then they played 'The Twist', so I twisted.
Then they played 'Come On eileen', so I got kicked out. - I got so drunk last night I got so drunk last night I walked across the dance floor to get another drink and won the dance contest.
- What do you call a formula that can predict Al Gore's dance moves? An al gore Rhythm algorithm.
- My wife hasn't spoken to me since I fingered her twin by mistake during a drunken dance at a wedding. He's not happy about it either.
- Sammy just bought a new pair of pants. He's explaining to Dean that these pants were specially fitted for dancing.
"Ballroom?" Dean asks.
"Not much," Sammy replies. - That awkward moment when the woman you're dancing with bends over so you can grind it... But it turns out she just dropped an earing, and no one else in McDonald's can hear the music on your iPod.
- Why are Native Americans the most successfull strippers? Because when they dance, they make it rain.
- My drunk girlfriend asked me what I thought of her dancing. I told her it was just staggering.
- How do you make a room full of epileptics dance? Ask someone with Parkinson's to turn off the lights.
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Dance One Liners
Which dance one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with dance? I can suggest the ones about line dancing and swing.
- I once had a goldfish that could break-dance on a carpet, but only for like 20 seconds...
- Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale La La Land?
- YouTube keeps showing me videos of vice-presidents dancing. Must be the Al Gore Rhythm…
- Why can't Stephen Hawking dance? Because he's white.
- What's the best dance to do on Thanksgiving? The turkey trot.
- I tried teaching my dog how to dance, but it turns out... ...he's got 2 left feet.
- Why do ballerinas dance on their toes? So they don't wake up the audience!
- I had to quit tap dancing. I kept falling in the sink.
- Why are dogs so bad at dancing? Because they have 2 left feet.
- What part of your body shouldn't move while dancing? Your bowels!
- What do you call Al Gore when he's dancing? Algorithm.
- What’s a dumpling’s favorite dance move? The “steamy salsa”!
- Some people claim Al Gore dances too robotically He says its just his Al Gore rhythm
- I asked my dumplings if they wanted to go dancing, but they said they were just can’ts.
- At a down syndrome disco... ...Do you think they have a slow dance?
Dance Moves Jokes
Here is a list of funny dance moves jokes and even better dance moves puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What do you call a sequence of dance moves made by Al Gore? An algorithm.
- US politics is a lot like square dancing. Move to the right, take one step back, move to the left, take one step forward. Repeat.
- My Indian friend taught me an authentic Punjabi dance. I've got some real Sikh moves.
- I walked into a disco, and there were Orcs, Trolls, and Nazgûl doing their best moves. It was Mordor on the dance floor.
- What dance move catches everyone by surprise? The Plot Twist!
- I thought I could never be a good dancer until I discovered Dance Dance Revolution. Though I've only really mastered one move, it's a step in the right direction.
- Did you know Rocky Mountain wood ticks hunt in packs? They from a queue and move back and forth before they swoop in to bite you. They call this behaviour Lyme dancing.
- Irish Dancing Manual Lost for centuries, volume 2 of the Irish Dancing Manual has finally been rediscovered.
It's titled How to Move The Arms
- Have you heard about the hottest dance moves nowadays? It's called the Srirachachacha
- What's a politicians favorite kind of dance move? Poll dancing!
Dance Day Jokes
Here is a list of funny dance day jokes and even better dance day puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I had a job interview the other day and the interviewer says to me 'How would you usually describe yourself at work?' I said 'With words, but today I'm going to use interpretive dance'
- I was walking down the street one day when I heard someone playing Dancing Queen and Mamma mia on the didgeridoo. That's Abba-rigonal
- Dance like no one is watching but text, post and email like it will be read in court one day.
- So I went to this job interview the other day... Interviewer: how would you describe yourself?
me: preferably with words, but I've also prepared a modern dance! - I was on my way to work the other day and i passed a busker playing 'Dancing Queen' on the didgeridoo. I thought to myself 'thats Abbariginal'...
- The other day I saw a sheep pole dancing in a kebab shop.
- Several insects dancing in a pen, what is the name of the movie? In The Pen Dance Day
- Friend took me along to see some pole dancing the other day Those people are crazy. I could never learn the mazurka or the krakowiak.
- Several people dancing around a pen... What is the movie name? Independence Day
- What dance do mothers like best? The mom-ba!
Happy mother's day!
Dance Floor Jokes
Here is a list of funny dance floor jokes and even better dance floor puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why did the snowman enroll in a dance class on the winter solstice? It wanted to "break the ice" on the dance floor.
- Why did the snowflake refuse to dance at the winter solstice ball? It didn't want to "flake" out on the floor.
- What do you call a white person having a seizure on the dance floor? An improvement.
- I had a fish that could break dance on the floor... But only for like 30 seconds...and only once.
- Why did Jesus leave the dance floor? Because it was Hammertime'
- I was so drunk in the club last night that when I walked across the dance floor to get another drink, I won the dance competition
- Now that robots move their limbs smoothly and with grace, i wonder how we're supposed to imitate them on the dance floor?
- An old robot tries to impress his friends by showing off his moves on the dance floor. Unfortunately, his dancing impresses no one. Turns out he's a bit rusty.
- What do wolves say to each other on the dance floor? Howl-ow can you go?
- Why was there Panic! At the Disco? Because there was Blood on the Dance Floor.
Tap Dance Jokes
Here is a list of funny tap dance jokes and even better tap dance puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What do you call it when a tap dancing mare signals for help? Horse code
- what do you call tap dancing with subtitles? Dubstep
- You know what's a plumber's favourite dance? Tap dance.
- A member of the river dance group walks into a bar. And asks..... What have ya got on tap!?!?
- Who invented tap dancing? A father with six daughters and only one bathroom! :)
- I tried tap dancing once... ... I kept falling in the sink.
- A tap dancing career is one L away from a lap dancing career.
- What's the difference between a pastry doing a tap dance and a lot of pastries doing ballet? Abundance.
- Yo momma Yo momma's feet are so crusty, when she walks on a wooden floor, it sounds like she's tap dancing.
- What's a carrot's favorite type of dancing? Tap root dancing.
Irish Dance Jokes
Here is a list of funny irish dance jokes and even better irish dance puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why do Irish dancers only dance with their legs? Cause all the arms have been decommissioned.
- Who do you guys think invented dancing? It was a big Irish family with just one toilet.
- What do you call Irish line dancing? A sobriety test.
Uproarious Dance Jokes to Share with Friends
What funny jokes about dance you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean concert jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make dance pranks.
A drunk guy goes to a party...
A drunk goes to a party, he w**... standing for a long time before he spots a cute girl siting on a chair. He goes over to her and says: "do you want to dance?"
She blushes and says yes
He says:"good, I'm gonna sit on your chair"
A man and wife went to a new dance club...
The first song was "The Twist," so they did the twist.
The second song was "The Monster Mash," so they did the monster mash.
The third song was "Come on, Eileen." They were thrown out.
I saw your "a woman walks into a store joke" and this is mine
A woman walks into a pet store and sees three parrots. She asks the cashier how much is the first parrot and he says, "This parrot costs $500".
"$500? Why is it so expensive?"
"This parrot can dance, sing, say 300 words and can send emails over the web"
"really? wow! and how much for the second one?"
"$2000!"
"$2000?"
"Yes, that parrot can dance, sing, say 1500 words, send emails, browse the web, use twitter and type texts you dictate on a computer"
"Wow, fantastic and what about the third one?"
"The third one costs $200,000".
"$200,000 ???? What does he do to cost that much?"
"absolute nothing."
"Nothing? and why does it costs $200,000"
"because the other two parrots call him boss".
The Door Prize
Olie went to the neighborhood dance, and he won the big door prize. It was a toilet brush. So he took it home.
A few days later some friends of Olie asked him "Hey Olie how is that toilet brush working out for ya."
Olie said "Oh it works real good but I prefer toilet paper."
What did one triangle say to the other triangle?
Hey, we should get together and square dance!
How do you make a tissue dance?
You put a little boogy in it!
What do they do at a prom for a school of the mentally disabled?
Slow dance.
How do you make a Kleenex dance?
You put a little boogie in it.
Kara and Jim are two high school misfits...
...Kara has a wooden eye, while Jim has a peg leg. The big dance was coming up, so Kara goes up to Jim and asks him if he would like to accompany her to the dance.
Very excited, Jim exclaims, "OH WOULD I!!!"
Kara then runs away screaming, "PEG LEG!!!!!!"
Where do burgers like to dance?
At a meatball!
A guy with a wooden eye goes to a dance.
He searches the room for a lady ugly enough to dance with someone like himself. He spots one with jutting buck-teeth. He asks, "Will you dance with me?" She replies excitedly, "Would I!?" He angrily yells back at her, "BUCK TEETH!"
A man with a wooden eye is at a dance..
During a slow dance, he can't find a partner to dance with him. He sees from the opposite side of the dance floor a girl with a large nose. Seeing that she is also without a dance partner, he makes his move.
He approaches her and is frank with her, asking "Would you dance with me?"
Filled with excitement, she yells "Would I?!"
Without missing a beat, the man retorts: "BIG NOSE BIG NOSE BIG NOSE!!!"
Why didn't the butterfly go to the dance?
Because it was a moth ball.
How do you make a handkerchief dance?
You put a little boogie in it!
Why didn't the ghost go to the dance?
He had no body to dance with
Where did the hamburger go to dance?
The Meatball
Why wouldn't the man dance?
His pants had no ballroom.
How do you get a tissue to dance?
You put a little boogie in it.
Why couldn't the apples go to the homecoming dance?
Because only PEARS were allowed! get it? pears! ok bye..
Why didn't the skeleton like to dance?
Because he had no body to dance with!
A drill sergeant and his cadet..
A drill sergeant had just chewed out one of his cadets. As he was walking away, he turned to the cadet and said, "I guess when I die you'll come and dance on my grave." The cadet replied, "Not me, Sarge...no sir! I promised myself that when I got out of the Army I'd never stand in another line!"
My 8 year old niece told me I could share her joke with you guys, but I had to give her the credit. Her name is Brooklyn.
Do you know how to make a tissue dance?
You put a little boogie in it.
Elephants
How many legs does an elephant have?
Four. Two in the front and two in the back.
Why don't elephants make good dancers?
They have two left feet.
What's flat and feathery and half an inch tall?
A duck who tried to teach an elephant how to dance.
Why do ducks have webbed feet?
To stomp out forest fires.
Why do elephants have flat feet?
To stomp out flaming ducks, of course.
Where does Christopher keep his dance shoes?
In the Walken closet.
I majored in Politics, Computer Science, and Dance.
Now I'm stuck writing Al Gore Rhythms.
My friends told me I needed to loosen up....
so we went to a club and had a few drinks, after the 5th one I was ready dance.
So I went to the dance floor and then "The Twist" began to play, and I did The Twist.
Then "The Hustle" began to play, and I did The Hustle
Then "Come on Eileen" played and I got banned from the club.
How many dancers does it take to change a light bulb?
Five… six… seven… eight!
Martial arts
The Israelis developed Krav Maga - the art of disabling an opponent as quickly as possible.
The Japanese developed Jujitsu - the art of defeating an armed and armored opponent.
The Brazilians developed Capoeira - the art of defeating an opponent using dance and acrobatics.
The French developed parkour - the art of running away as quickly and efficiently as possible.
Husband and wife go to a club
They notice a guy on the dance floor giving everyone a show. He's breakdancing, moon walking and even throwing in a few backflips. The wife turns to the husband and says, "see that guy on the dance floor? He proposed to be 25 years ago and I turned him down!"
Husband says "Yeah looks like he's still celebrating!"
I bet it's crazy hard to do the YMCA dance in Chinese...
Where does spaghetti go to dance?
The meatball.
My 5 year old daughter wants a t**... for Christmas
She has no idea what it is, but she knows what you can do with it.
Swim, ride, hike, dance, play tennis, ...
I went to a dance club last night...
>They played 'The Twist', and so I did the twist.
>They played 'Jump', and I jumped.
>They played 'Come on Eileen', and I got kicked out of the club.
-Not mine, but I thought I'd share.
Man my friends are such jerks, as soon as I tell them I'm a dance addict...
...what do they do? Put me in this amazing 12-step program.
I went to a dance club last night...
They played "The Twist, " so I twisted.
Then they played "Jump, " so I jumped.
Then they played "Come on Eileen, "
....and I got thrown out. :-(
A woman's three daughters are going out on dates...
"What are your date plans?", the mother asks the daughters.
"I'm going out with Pete; we are going to eat" says the first daughter.
"Great! have fun" says the mom
"I'm going with Lance. We are going to dance" says the second daughter.
"Have a ball!" says the mother
"I'm going out with Chuck" says the third daughter
"NO YOU'RE NOT" yells the mother
My Mother in law said to me: "I'll dance on your grave, when you're dead"
"Good!" I said, "I'm being buried at sea."
What's the difference between a club and a s**... club?
A club has a beat that you can dance to, a s**... club has a dance that you can beat to.
Why do Native Americans dance at s**... clubs?
They want to make it rain.
Wanna dance?
Two Girls were sitting at a club. One was ugly and the another one was beautiful.
Dave walked straight to the ugly girl.
Dave: Hello!
Ugly girl: Hi!!
Dave: Wanna dance?
Ugly Girl: Yes (excited)
Dave: OK, Go and dance. I wanna talk to your friend.
I got a private dance from a stripper.
When she was done, she gave me her phone number.
I said, "If I give you £50, will you come back to my place for a kiss and a cuddle?"
She said, "It will have to be more than that."
I said, "That's fine. What about s**...?"
A girl with a peg leg goes to her high school dance...
And she is slowly walking around, sad that nobody wanted to dance with her. Right before she was about to leave a boy with a wooden eye walks up and asks her to dance. To which she replies
"Would I! Would I!"
The boy is angered anD snaps back at her.
"Peg Leg! Peg Leg!
My half Native American friend Les tried to teach me to rain dance, but we could only ever muster a light mist...
I guess I'm just going to have to make dew with Les.
I tried to teach my dog to dance today.
It was useless. He's got two left feet.
Husband takes his wife to a disco.
Husband takes his wife to a disco. There's a guy on the dance floor dancing like a king –moonwalking, break dancing, head spins, the works. The wife turns to her husband and sighs: "You see that man? 25 years ago he asked me to marry him and I said no."
Husband says: "Yep, it looks like he's still celebrating!!"
At the Bee Prom...
A young bee nervously flies around hoping to grab a dance with the queen bee. Finally he musters up the courage and talks to her. She looks at him and says "I'll dance with you if you get me some fruit punch"
Excited, the bee zooms to get the punch. He sees the line for nachos, the ice cream machine, the honey line, but after hours of searching he realizes...
There is no punch line
My dad said not to go to cheap, low class s**... clubs, because I'll see things I shouldn't...
Sure enough, I had to go and there's my dad getting a lap dance.
I don't get the point of a lap dance
If I wanted a woman to take my money and frustrate me s**..., I would've stayed home with my wife
I got slapped at the club the other day
I went dancing at a local club, hoping to get a little action since it's been a while. I met this gorgeous girl and asked her to dance, a little emboldened by the alcohol. After the first song with her body so close to mine, she leans in and says "You smell good! Whatcha got on?"
I said, "Well, I have a hard-on but I didn't know you could smell it."
I am like Colgate toothpaste when I dance
Noticeably White
What is something that's burried but you can still dance on it?
A beet
Why are native Americans such good strippers?
Every time they dance they make it rain.
A father and his three daughters...
are sitting at home on a Saturday evening.
There is a knock at the door. The father answers to a young man.
Hi, my name is Lance, I'm here for Nance. We're going to the dance.
Nance left with Lance.
15 minutes later, another young man knocks at the door.
Hi, my name Joe and I'm here for Flo. We're going to watch the show.
Flo left with Joe
A third young man arrives.
Hi, my name is Chuck- the father shot Chuck
The man came home early from work to find his wife lying n**... on the bed, crying her eyes out.
What's wrong? he asked.
I've got nothing to wear to the dance tomorrow night, she
sobbed.
Oh come on now! You've plenty of clothes, and with that
he went over to the wardrobe. See here, there's the nice
pink dress, the pale blue skirt, the yellow cocktail dress, hi
there Tom, the green silk gown…
I hate when my wife drags me to a dance class.
She knew I was paraplegic when she married me.
If The Safety Dance comes on, are we obligated to dance?
I mean, I know we can dance if we want to
Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance?
Because he had nobody to go with
In one episode of Dexter's Laboratory, Dexter fires Dee-Dee because.....
....he can't focus properly when she distracts him. So he hires this pretty blonde girl to mimic Dee-Dee, and he asks her "I want to see you dance" "That'll be 50$ extra" Took me awhile to figure that one out
If dancers have two eyes then what do ballerinas have?
Two too.
So i went to a dance club the other night...
... I had a great time
They played the Macarena, so I did the Macarena.
They played Jump Around, so I jumped around.
They played The Twist, so I did The Twist.
Then they played Come on Eileen, so I was promptly kicked out of the club.
Scientists have recently discovered a new bioluminescent bug that performs a strange dance any time there is a full moon.
They are calling it a Raving Luna Tick.
My wife got really mad when she found me kissing her twin during a drunken dance at a wedding.
He is not too thrilled about it either.
A guy takes his wife out for the night and they end up at a disco where there's a guy on the dance floor giving it large – break dancing, moonwalking, back flips, every dance move going...
The wife turns to her husband and says, See that guy on the dance floor? 25 years ago he proposed to me and I turned him down.
The husband replies, It looks like he's still celebrating.
A friend of mine used to be a stripper but she got bored with it.
It's always the same old thong and dance.
I man and his wife walk into a disco...
And in the middle of the dance floor there is a very handsome man with a great body and expensive jewelry. Who is busting some serious moves, back flips, moon walking, running man etc.
The wife turns to her husband and says "see that man he asked me to marry him ten years ago but I said no"
The husband replies "and it looks like he is still celebrating"
School dances this year are going to be like Fortnite lobbies...
Lots of s**... dance moves and unnecessary shooting
I made up a dance about an old guy and a kid going on an adventure and asked everyone to name the movie it's based on.
Someone just guessed it. The j**... is Up.
Do you know why dogs can't dance?
They have two left feet.
