Dance Jokes

Following is our collection of macarena puns and unce one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Dance jokes for adults, dirty strippers jokes and clean harelip dad gags for kids.

The Best Dance Puns

A husband took his wife to a disco on the weekend. There was a guy on the dance floor busting tile. He was breakdancing, moonwalking, doing back flips - the works. The wife turned to husband and said: "See that guy? 25 years ago he proposed to me and I turned him down."

Her husband says: "Looks like he's still celebrating!"

The man came home early from work to find his wife lying naked on the bed, crying her eyes out.

What's wrong? he asked.
I've got nothing to wear to the dance tomorrow night, she
sobbed.
Oh come on now! You've plenty of clothes, and with that
he went over to the wardrobe. See here, there's the nice
pink dress, the pale blue skirt, the yellow cocktail dress, hi
there Tom, the green silk gownโ€ฆ

I don't get the point of a lap dance

If I wanted a woman to take my money and frustrate me sexually, I would've stayed home with my wife

Husband takes his wife to a disco.

Husband takes his wife to a disco. There's a guy on the dance floor dancing like a king โ€“moonwalking, break dancing, head spins, the works. The wife turns to her husband and sighs: "You see that man? 25 years ago he asked me to marry him and I said no."

Husband says: "Yep, it looks like he's still celebrating!!"

Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale La La Land?


I went to a dance.

First they played 'Jump', so I jumped.

Then they played 'The Twist', so I twisted.

Then they played 'Come On Eileen', so I got kicked out.

My 5 year old daughter wants a Tampon for Christmas

She has no idea what it is, but she knows what you can do with it.
Swim, ride, hike, dance, play tennis, ...

Martial arts

The Israelis developed Krav Maga - the art of disabling an opponent as quickly as possible.

The Japanese developed Jujitsu - the art of defeating an armed and armored opponent.

The Brazilians developed Capoeira - the art of defeating an opponent using dance and acrobatics.

The French developed parkour - the art of running away as quickly and efficiently as possible.

I got so drunk last night

I got so drunk last night I walked across the dance floor to get another drink and won the dance contest.

What do you call a formula that can predict Al Gore's dance moves?

An Al Gore Rhythm algorithm.

School dances this year are going to be like Fortnite lobbies...

Lots of stupid dance moves and unnecessary shooting


My wife hasn't spoken to me since I fingered her twin by mistake during a drunken dance at a wedding.

He's not happy about it either.

A guy takes his wife out for the night and they end up at a disco where there's a guy on the dance floor giving it large โ€“ break dancing, moonwalking, back flips, every dance move going...

The wife turns to her husband and says, See that guy on the dance floor? 25 years ago he proposed to me and I turned him down.


The husband replies, It looks like he's still celebrating.

A drill sergeant and his cadet..

A drill sergeant had just chewed out one of his cadets. As he was walking away, he turned to the cadet and said, "I guess when I die you'll come and dance on my grave." The cadet replied, "Not me, Sarge...no sir! I promised myself that when I got out of the Army I'd never stand in another line!"

Why can't Stephen Hawking dance?

Because he's white.

I tried teaching my dog how to dance, but it turns out...

...he's got 2 left feet.

Why are Native Americans the most successfull strippers?

Because when they dance, they make it rain.

Why do ballerinas dance on their toes?

So they don't wake up the audience!

Husband and wife go to a club

They notice a guy on the dance floor giving everyone a show. He's breakdancing, moon walking and even throwing in a few backflips. The wife turns to the husband and says, "see that guy on the dance floor? He proposed to be 25 years ago and I turned him down!"
Husband says "Yeah looks like he's still celebrating!"


What's the difference between a club and a strip club?

A club has a beat that you can dance to, a strip club has a dance that you can beat to.

A man with a wooden eye is at a dance..

During a slow dance, he can't find a partner to dance with him. He sees from the opposite side of the dance floor a girl with a large nose. Seeing that she is also without a dance partner, he makes his move.

He approaches her and is frank with her, asking "Would you dance with me?"

Filled with excitement, she yells "Would I?!"

Without missing a beat, the man retorts: "BIG NOSE BIG NOSE BIG NOSE!!!"

Man my friends are such jerks, as soon as I tell them I'm a dance addict...

...what do they do? Put me in this amazing 12-step program.

A woman's three daughters are going out on dates...

"What are your date plans?", the mother asks the daughters.

"I'm going out with Pete; we are going to eat" says the first daughter.

"Great! have fun" says the mom

"I'm going with Lance. We are going to dance" says the second daughter.

"Have a ball!" says the mother

"I'm going out with Chuck" says the third daughter

"NO YOU'RE NOT" yells the mother

How many dancers does it take to change a light bulb?

Fiveโ€ฆ sixโ€ฆ sevenโ€ฆ eight!

I hate when my wife drags me to a dance class.

She knew I was paraplegic when she married me.

A guy with a wooden eye goes to a dance.

He searches the room for a lady ugly enough to dance with someone like himself. He spots one with jutting buck-teeth. He asks, "Will you dance with me?" She replies excitedly, "Would I!?" He angrily yells back at her, "BUCK TEETH!"

I saw your "a woman walks into a store joke" and this is mine

A woman walks into a pet store and sees three parrots. She asks the cashier how much is the first parrot and he says, "This parrot costs $500".

"$500? Why is it so expensive?"

"This parrot can dance, sing, say 300 words and can send emails over the web"

"really? wow! and how much for the second one?"

"$2000!"

"$2000?"

"Yes, that parrot can dance, sing, say 1500 words, send emails, browse the web, use twitter and type texts you dictate on a computer"

"Wow, fantastic and what about the third one?"

"The third one costs $200,000".

"$200,000 ???? What does he do to cost that much?"

"absolute nothing."

"Nothing? and why does it costs $200,000"

"because the other two parrots call him boss".

A guy asks a girl to go to a dance.

Sheย agrees, and he decides to rent a suit. Theย rental has a long line, so he waits andย waits, and finally he gets his suit.


Heย decides to buy flowers, so he goesย to the flower shop. The flower shopย has a long line, so he waits and waits, untilย he finally buys flowers.


He picks up the girlย and they go to the dance. There is a long lineย into the dance, so they wait and wait.


Finally,ย they get into the dance, and the guy offersย to get the girl a drink. She asks for punch,ย so he goes to the drink table, and there isย no punch line.

I went to a dance club last night...

>They played 'The Twist', and so I did the twist.

>They played 'Jump', and I jumped.

>They played 'Come on Eileen', and I got kicked out of the club.

-Not mine, but I thought I'd share.

I went to a dance club last night...

They played "The Twist, " so I twisted.
Then they played "Jump, " so I jumped.
Then they played "Come on Eileen, "
....and I got thrown out. :-(

Scientists have recently discovered a new bioluminescent bug that performs a strange dance any time there is a full moon.

They are calling it a Raving Luna Tick.

I majored in Politics, Computer Science, and Dance.

Now I'm stuck writing Al Gore Rhythms.

At a Down Syndrome disco...

...Do you think they have a slow dance?

Why didn't the skeleton like to dance?

Because he had no body to dance with!

A man and wife went to a new dance club...

The first song was "The Twist," so they did the twist.

The second song was "The Monster Mash," so they did the monster mash.

The third song was "Come on, Eileen." They were thrown out.

I man and his wife walk into a disco...

And in the middle of the dance floor there is a very handsome man with a great body and expensive jewelry. Who is busting some serious moves, back flips, moon walking, running man etc.
The wife turns to her husband and says "see that man he asked me to marry him ten years ago but I said no"
The husband replies "and it looks like he is still celebrating"

So i went to a dance club the other night...

... I had a great time

They played the Macarena, so I did the Macarena.

They played Jump Around, so I jumped around.

They played The Twist, so I did The Twist.

Then they played Come on Eileen, so I was promptly kicked out of the club.

What do you call a sequence of dance moves made by Al Gore?

An algorithm.

Why didn't the butterfly go to the dance?

Because it was a moth ball.

Wanna dance?

Two Girls were sitting at a club. One was ugly and the another one was beautiful.

Dave walked straight to the ugly girl.

Dave: Hello!

Ugly girl: Hi!!

Dave: Wanna dance?

Ugly Girl: Yes (excited)

Dave: OK, Go and dance. I wanna talk to your friend.

My Mother in law said to me: "I'll dance on your grave, when you're dead"

"Good!" I said, "I'm being buried at sea."

I am like Colgate toothpaste when I dance

Noticeably White

At the Bee Prom...

A young bee nervously flies around hoping to grab a dance with the queen bee. Finally he musters up the courage and talks to her. She looks at him and says "I'll dance with you if you get me some fruit punch"
Excited, the bee zooms to get the punch. He sees the line for nachos, the ice cream machine, the honey line, but after hours of searching he realizes...
There is no punch line

What do you call a dance that starts at 10?

Attendance

What do you call a white person having a seizure on the dance floor?

An improvement.

Where does spaghetti go to dance?

The meatball.

I had a fish that could break dance on the floor...

But only for like 30 seconds...and only once.

I got slapped at the club the other day

I went dancing at a local club, hoping to get a little action since it's been a while. I met this gorgeous girl and asked her to dance, a little emboldened by the alcohol. After the first song with her body so close to mine, she leans in and says "You smell good! Whatcha got on?"

I said, "Well, I have a hard-on but I didn't know you could smell it."

My half Native American friend Les tried to teach me to rain dance, but we could only ever muster a light mist...

I guess I'm just going to have to make dew with Les.

How do you make a Kleenex dance?

You put a little boogie in it.

Why wouldn't the man dance?

His pants had no ballroom.

The Door Prize

Olie went to the neighborhood dance, and he won the big door prize. It was a toilet brush. So he took it home.

A few days later some friends of Olie asked him "Hey Olie how is that toilet brush working out for ya."

Olie said "Oh it works real good but I prefer toilet paper."

The last batch of suicide bombers were very tight knit.

They used to sing together, dance together, laugh together. True brethren. At the end they had a blast doing their job.

A father and his three daughters...

are sitting at home on a Saturday evening.
There is a knock at the door. The father answers to a young man.
Hi, my name is Lance, I'm here for Nance. We're going to the dance.
Nance left with Lance.
15 minutes later, another young man knocks at the door.
Hi, my name Joe and I'm here for Flo. We're going to watch the show.
Flo left with Joe
A third young man arrives.
Hi, my name is Chuck- the father shot Chuck

There is an abundance of recital jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 54 funniest jokes and dance puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any prom witze you can hear about dance.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

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