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Dan Jokes

64 dan jokes and hilarious dan puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about dan that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Laugh out loud with hilarious Dan jokes; from jokes about Steely Dan to Lieutenant Dan, Desperate Dan, Dan Kwaku Yeboah and Dan Gadhvi Na - and even jokes about Chris, Dave and Schneider. Get ready for a great time!

Best Short Dan Jokes

Short dan jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The dan humour may include short lieutenant jokes also.

  1. Things that will get you kicked off an United Airlines flight: 1)Wearing leggings
    2)Having an United Airlines ticket
    -Dan Regan
  2. Rick and Morty cancelled over joke Dan Harmon and Rick & Morty Are Canceled Because 2020 Has No Sense of Humor
  3. I changed my last name to 'Batman' the day before my wedding My Father-in-Law didn't enjoy the wedding of Dan and Anna BATMAN.
  4. David Benioff and Dan Weiss wrote this joke for the loyal viewers of the Game of Thrones series Season 8
  5. I asked an African man to use the word dandelion in a sentence His response was "da cheeta runs fasta dan de lion"
  6. I'm dating a half-Asian girl. Her mom's Korean and her dad's Korean, and her legs got torn off in a car accident.
    - Dan Mintz
  7. My name is Dan and I scream whenever my wife says our daughter's name What did she expect when she named her Danielle?
  8. More jokes from my 5 year old. Who's a Stormtroopers favourite person? Dan Dan Dan Dan Dan Dan Dan
  9. What did the Jamaican say after winning the barefoot marathon? "Da trill of victory always betta dan de agony of de feet!"
  10. I just finished a straight 8.5 hour binge of Dan Carlin's Wrath of the Khans podcast. I know one thing for sure: You can't invade Russia in the winter. But Genghis certainly Khan.

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Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about dan can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of dan puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

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Dan One Liners

Which dan one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with dan? I can suggest the ones about tony and complement.

  1. My wife is the only one I've been with Everyone else is a nine or a ten.
    ~Dan Mintz~
  2. What do you call a vietnam war hero with a new apartment? New tenant Dan
  3. Dan Schneider is the final boss of Nickelodeon All Star Brawl As Master Foot.
  4. People in Germany are nice but strange. Why do they keep calling me Dan Keschon?
  5. Que hacen moscas por ejercicio? dan una vuelta por la manzana
  6. What kind of car does depressed Daniel drive? Sad Dan
  7. What do you call a Sikh entertainer? Dan Singh.
  8. Where does Napoleon live/Ou Napoléon habite-t-il? Dans un bon-apartement.
  9. Guess who loves daylights savings time? Dan Auerbach
  10. What do you call an Indian John Travolta? Dan Sing
  11. Corrected: What do you call India's top TV Show? Dan Singh with the Sitars
  12. My friend Dan died yesterday, I'll never forget the last thing I said to him.
  13. what level a muslim extremist wants to be in karate? Rama DAN
  14. A dan walked into a barr. And Roseanne said watch where you are going!
  15. Question Taqs Dan 10 Pedomannya Serta Cara Menjawabnya !

Dan Quayle Jokes

Here is a list of funny dan quayle jokes and even better dan quayle puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • John F. Kennedy bought an iPhone7 and people started calling him Dan Quayle... because Dan was No-Jack Kennedy
  • Q: If Dan Quayle, Bob Packwood and Bill Clinton participated in a spelling contest, who would win?
    A: Dan Quayle. He's the only one who knows that "harass" is one word.
  • The Bush family asked Dan Quayle to be a pallbearer. So he can let the late President down one last time.

Dan Snyder Jokes

Here is a list of funny dan snyder jokes and even better dan snyder puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Dan Snyder has finally agreed to change the name of The Washington r**... Now they'll be called the DC r**....

The Funniest Dan Jokes for a Bone-Shaking Laugh

What funny jokes about dan you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean grade jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make dan prank.

Since I'm going away to college, my Dad sat me down to have a talk.

He said OK, Dan, you're going off to college. You're going to be living away from home, in a dorm, surrounded by beautiful girls. So I got you something from the drug store.
I said It's ok, Dad- I already know about condoms.
He's said No - anti-depressants.

A Proctology exam.

A man is sitting over the counter with his pants down at the doctors office.
The doctor comes in and sits down and starts working the gloves onto his hands.
Alright Brian, it's your first proctology exam, just sit back, relax, and try not to get an e**... the doctor says.
The patient awkwardly looks back and says but my names Dan.
Doctor responds oh I know, my names Brian.

The Washington r**... finally decided to drop their offensive name.

Dan Snyder, owner of the NFL r**..., has announced that the team is dropping "Washington" from the team name, and it will henceforth be simply known as, "The r**...." It was reported that he finds the word "Washington" imparts a negative image of poor leadership, mismanagement, corruption, cheating, lying, and graft, and is not a fitting role-model for young fans of football.

My wife and I do it d**......

...she plays dead and I beg.
-Dan Chopin

Surgeon: "don't worry, Micheal. This is but a small surgery"

Patient: "my name is not Micheal. It's Dan".
Surgeon: "I know. My name is Micheal".
*after 500 surgeries.
Patient: "Doctor, I'm really worried. This is my first surgery".
Surgeon Micheal: "Don't worry. This is my 500th surgery".
Patient: "thanks Doctor. Now I know I'm in good hands".
Doctor Micheal:" yeah, this time it ought to succeed".

A English teacher says to a African student..

"okay you're doing really good with your English, I would like you to use the word dandelion in a sentence" the student replies "ohh that is easy, The giraffe, is bigger, dan de lion"

Dan went to his physician for his annual check-up.

However, he was shocked when his doctor said to him, I'm afraid you've only got three weeks to live.
Are you sure? said Dan, I feel fine. Isn't there anything that can be done?
Well, said his doctor, you could try taking a mud bath each day.
Will that cure me? asked Dan.
No, but it'll get you used to the dirt , responded the physician.

a lil' Boudreaux joke for y'all.

Mrs. Boudreaux went to the the local newspaper and said she wanted to put in the Obituary Column that Boudreaux died. They told her it would be $1.00 per word.
She said, "Here ya go, 2 dollahs - put in dere dat Boudreaux Died."
They said, "Mrs. Boudreaux, surely you want more dan dat."
She said "Mais, no, just 'Boudreaux died'."
The editor said, "Well, you a lil' upset. Bring yaself back tomorruh and you probably tink of sumtin else."
She came back the next day, and said, "Yeh, I tought of sumtin else.. 'BOAT FOR SALE'."

Thats my Boy

Teacher asked his students to make rhymes with their names
Bran :
my name is brand
When I grow up to be a man
I want to go to Russia and Japan
If I can , if I can, if I can
Jady :
My name is Jady
When I grow up to be a lady
I want to have a baby
If I can, if I can , if I can
Dan :
My name is dan
When I grow up to be a man
To h**... with Russia and Japan
I am going to help Jady with her plan
I know I can , I know I can

Action dan here, I got a call about my wife from the ER

Action dan here, I answered the phone and it was from the ER and the nurse said "Action dan It looks like your wife got hit by a truck."
I said" action dan here, well yeah, but she's got a great personality."

Dan couldn't sleep all night...

and kept turning in bed. His wife wakes up and asks him "What's wrong dear, why can't you sleep?" He says "I owe $1000 to our neighbor Abraham, I am supposed to pay him tomorrow but I don't have the money." So his wife gets out of the bed, opens the window and yells to their neighbor: "HEY ABRAHAAAAAM! ABRAHAM! DAN WON'T BE ABLE TO PAY YOU THE MONEY TOMORROW." She goes back to bed and tells her husband "Now HE won't be able to sleep."

I invited my two friends over for a party as I was trying to Sweden my s**... life, but my wife said "Norway!"

So Dan, Mark and I had our 3-way as usual.

Sister Ann Putting on Weight

"Sister Ann, aren't you putting on a little weight?" inquired Father Dan during his visit to the convent, suspiciously eyeing her bulging belly. "Why, no Father," answered the nun demurely, "It's just a little gas." A few months later Father Dan put the same question to the nun noticing her habit barely fit across her belly. "Oh, just a bit of gas," said Sister Ann, blushing a bit. On his next visit Father Dan was walking down the corridor when he passed Sister Ann wheeling a baby carriage. Looking in, the priest observed, "Cute little f**...!"

What did Lieutenant Dan say after getting his new legs blown off?

"Oh, the iron knee!"
Note: Old joke I made up and told friends in high school, before realizing his new legs are not actually made of iron. Hope the joke is still amusing though

Biologists have jokes too

Biologist: What's the quickest way to determine the s**... of a chromosome?
Dan: I don't know.
Biologist: Pull down its genes. ^^^^get ^^^^it?

Washington r**... to change their name

Today, the owner of the Washington r**..., Dan Snyder, finally agreed to a name change for his team.
Standing at the base of the Washington Monument, Snyder spoke in solemn tones when he announced:
It has taken a while for me to get woke. I now realize how degrading and insulting the team name has been all these years. In the spirit of the times, henceforth the team will now be called the DC r**...

Future surgeon here and this is going to be my senior yearbook quote


Dan Brady
"I love the feeling when I can make people open up to me."

What was the headline when a former Ghostbuster's family dug a really long ditch in his home country?

A Dan, A Clan, A Canal, Canada

I'm moving house and placed all my Dan Abnett and George R. R. Martin books at the bottom of the box.

Because the books are like their fans, used to enduring great weights.

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Prediksi Elche vs Malaga 22 Desember 2014
Jebret Prediksi Skor Dan Bursa Taruhan Elche vs Malaga - dengan kemudahan bertransaksi Register Deposit maupun Withdraw dengan sangat Cepat dan Aman

Financial Planning like a pro

Dan was a single guy living at home with his father and working in the family business. His sickly father told Dan he was going to inherit the business and a fortune but his father's one wish was to see Dan get married and settled before he passed on.
One evening, Dan went to a financial planning seminar, It was given by the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. She was bright and personable to boot. Dan fell in love at first sight. He told her, "I may look pretty ordinary, but my father will probably die soon and I will inherit the family business and a large fortune. Impressed, the woman asked Dan for his business card, and three weeks later, she became his stepmother.

On an excursion, I decided to go swimming with the Dolphins. Unfortunately, one of them was run over by a boat and killed

I'm really going miss Dan Marino

2 suicidal friends bob and dan are sitting at a table

Bob: hey Dan wanna die?
Dan: sure
Bob: here you go
Dan:*rolls die* I win

What does George Clooney say whenever you catch him m**...?

"I'm a Fapper Dan man :/"

My wife said she invited Dan to our party...

ME: Dan who can't spell or Cannibal Dan?
WIFE: Not sure, here's the text he sent...
Text: Can't wait to meat you tonight!
I'm still not sure.

jokes about dan

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these dan jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.