Damon Jokes

Funniest Damon Short Jokes

Short damon jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The damon humour may include short vampire jokes also.

1. I had a dream that I was fighting Jason Bourne, Will Hunting and Tom Ripley Thanks to months of therapy, I'm finally battling my Damons.
2. If the characters were gay, Saving Private Ryan would have been a way shorter film. There is no way a group of gay men would have taken 3 hours to find Matt Damon
3. George Clooney Matt Damon and Matthew McConaughey got together to make a movie. George said: I'll Direct
   Matt Damon said: I'll produce
   Matthew McConaughey said: ill write ill write ill wriite
4. My mate wears the same jacket when he's impersonating either Matt Damon or Hugh Jackman. Maybe he's Bourne with it, maybe it's Wolverine.
5. If gay men were allowed in the army back in WWII, Saving Private Ryan would be a lot shorter... Because there is no way it would take 3 hours for a group of gay men to find Matt Damon.
6. Matt Damon is to star in a new movie about a man who has accepted Jesus as his Savior or Redeemer. The Bourne Again Christian
7. I was beaten to a lead role in a film, and have planned to get my revenge with Matt Damon ever since. I'll make him wish he'd never been Bourne.
8. What did Matt Damon do when he went looking for a used sports coat? He went Goodwill Hunting
9. I had a dream where I was in a fight with Jason Bourne, Will Hunting, and Private Ryan. I'm finally battling my Damons.
10. Some diseases are airborne, some are waterborne... But the Matt Damon disease is Jason Bourne

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Damon One Liners

Which damon one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with damon? I can suggest the ones about memorabilia and songs.

1. What does Matt Damon call it when he shops for cheap clothes? Goodwill Hunting
2. What's it called when Matt Damon goes searching for a thrift store? Goodwill hunting
3. What does Matt Damon call thrift shopping? Goodwill Hunting.
4. How do you sabotage a space mission ? Send Matt Damon
5. What were the odds that Matt Damon made it off Mars? Astronomical
6. What do you call a baby Matt Damon? A new-Bourne
7. I watched Lost In Space and loved it! It was a great documentary on Matt Damon.
8. Why can't Matt Damon find work? Because he was Bourne yesterday.
9. All of Matt Damon's stuff... ...is Damon-possessed.
10. I saw Matt Damon eating toast in his hometown... ...could it be Bourne and Bread?
11. Did you see Matt Damon's character in Invictus? That's apartheid like to play.
12. What does Damon Albarn write his songs with? Feel Good Inc.
13. What audio file format does Matt Damon use? FLAC
14. Why did Matt get a Ticket? He's a speed Damon.
15. If Matt Damon had a twin brother, he would look just like Matt Damon.

Matt Damon Jokes

Here is a list of funny matt damon jokes and even better matt damon puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Matt Damon's movie "The Great Wall", has had it's release date postponed... Seems the Mexicans haven't paid for it yet.
• What does Johnny Depp, Dave Pirner and Matt Damon have in common? They were all Winona Riders.
• Did you hear about the Bourne identity movie? Matt Damon returns in ..........Still Bourne
• Glad to see Matt Damon nominated for Best Actor. I honestly believe he is the Best Actor on the planet.
• Leo and Matt Damon are talking..... Leo:wanna hear a joke?
  Matt: sure
  Leo:OSCAR!
  Matt: i did'nt get it
  Leo:EXACTLY
• This year, Matt Damon is... Matt Damon.
• Matt Damon did on mars what the Irish couldn't do in Ireland He grew potatoes!
• Why must Matt Damon always get saved He just doesn't want to Da mon
• g**... in the military If gay men were allowed in the army, Saving Private Ryan will be a lot shorter, because it wouldn't take them 3 hours to find Matt Damon.
• What do you call Matt Damon when he haunts a carpet store? Mat d**...

Cheerful Fun Damon Jokes for Lovely Laughter

What funny jokes about damon you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean gigantic jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make damon pranks.