The Best 23 Damon Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Damon jokes. There are some damon nick jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these damon bestselling puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Damon Jokes and Puns

Gays in the military

If gay men were allowed in the army, Saving Private Ryan will be a lot shorter, because it wouldn't take them 3 hours to find Matt Damon.

If the characters were gay, Saving Private Ryan would have been a way shorter film.

There is no way a group of gay men would have taken 3 hours to find Matt Damon

George Clooney Matt Damon and Matthew McConaughey got together to make a movie.

George said: I'll Direct

Matt Damon said: I'll produce

Matthew McConaughey said: ill write ill write ill wriite

Damon joke, George Clooney Matt Damon and Matthew McConaughey got together to make a movie.

What does Matt Damon call it when he shops for cheap clothes?

Goodwill Hunting

What do you call Matt Damon when he haunts a carpet store?

Mat Demon


My mate wears the same jacket when he's impersonating either Matt Damon or Hugh Jackman.

Maybe he's Bourne with it, maybe it's Wolverine.

If gay men were allowed in the army back in WWII, Saving Private Ryan would be a lot shorter...

Because there is no way it would take 3 hours for a group of gay men to find Matt Damon.

Damon joke, If gay men were allowed in the army back in WWII, Saving Private Ryan would be a lot shorter...

I was beaten to a lead role in a film, and have planned to get my revenge with Matt Damon ever since.

I'll make him wish he'd never been Bourne.

What does Matt Damon call thrift shopping?

Goodwill Hunting.

What did Matt Damon do when he went looking for a used sports coat?

He went Goodwill Hunting

How do you sabotage a space mission ?

Send Matt Damon

You can explore damon ebo reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean damon futuristic dad jokes. There are also damon puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Three actors are deciding on roles for a movie about classical music.

Matt Damon, Brad Pitt and Arnold Schwarzenegger are all taking part in a new movie about classical composers.

"I think I'll play Beethoven!" declared Matt.

"I'd like the role of Mozart!" Brad decided.

"I'll be Bach." said Arnie.

Some diseases are airborne, some are waterborne...

But the Matt Damon disease is Jason Bourne

What does Johnny Depp, Dave Pirner and Matt Damon have in common?

They were all Winona Riders.

Why does Matt Damon refuse to have sex in his newest movie?

Because he's Bourne again.

Did you hear about the Bourne identity movie?

Matt Damon returns in ..........Still Bourne

Damon joke, Did you hear about the Bourne identity movie?

What were the odds that Matt Damon made it off Mars?

Astronomical

What do you call a baby Matt Damon?

A new-Bourne

Glad to see Matt Damon nominated for Best Actor. I honestly believe he is the Best Actor on the planet.


Leo and Matt Damon are talking.....

Leo:wanna hear a joke?
Matt: sure
Leo:OSCAR!
Matt: i did'nt get it
Leo:EXACTLY

I watched Lost In Space and loved it!

It was a great documentary on Matt Damon.

Why can't Matt Damon find work?

Because he was Bourne yesterday.

I saw Matt Damon eating toast in his hometown...

...could it be Bourne and Bread?

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the damon wes jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working damon dio piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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