Damn Jokes

Following is our collection of jeez puns and dayum one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Damn jokes for adults, dirty presumptuous jokes and clean geez dad gags for kids.

The Best Damn Puns

An African man visits his friend in the US

I just flew in yesterday the African man says And boy are my arms tired!

You know, that's kind of an old joke here in America replied his friend.

Joke? The African man said. I've been holding my hands in the air yelling 'don't shoot' ever since I got to this damn country .

Parents in 2020 B.C. vs Parents in 2020 A.D.

"These kids and their damn tablets"

A friend was complaining about Italians. Damn those Italians and their slanted eyes! , he said.

I replied, I think you mean *italics*.

Do you ever looked at someone and think, "DAMN this guy is UGLY as F**K"?

Anyway, I'm getting rid of all the mirrors in my house.

Me: Damnit! The forecast shows up to 5 inches of snow!!

Wife: If I don't complain about a few inches, neither should you.


If that fly laid eggs in Pence's hair

...He damn well better carry them to full term!

My wife didn't like the wooden shoes I made for her, tried to flush them down the toilet.

Now the damn thing's clogged.

Besides humans dolphins are one of very few species that have sex for fun..

But damn, I still don't like that weird silence in the car every morning I take them back to the zoo.

Damned TSA

If airport security asks you if you have any weapons don't say, "No, I prefer to kill with my bare hands." They don't think it's funny, apparently.

"Well I'll be damned."

said atheist when rapture happened.

Damned if you do

Grandad: My sister drowned in a pond. Dreadfully sad...

Me: Oh my God, that's terrible!

Grandad: Not really. If she'd floated, we would have had to burn her!


Damnit, just cut my thumb off with the tablesaw after I bent over to pick up what I thought was a thumb (ironically enough) off the ground

You win thumb, you lose thumb.

Damnnn girl, are you a sandwich?

Cause you lookin in-bread

There is an abundance of goddamned jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 13 funniest jokes and damn puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any damn good sermon witze you can hear about damn.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes