Following is our collection of extensive puns and discomfort one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Damage jokes for adults, dirty severe jokes and clean destruction dad gags for kids.
Fortunately, the damage seems to B minor
Nerve damage
Little Johnny raised his hand. The
teacher hesitated because she had
been burned by Johnny before. She
finally decided there was no way he
could damage the word 'fascinate', so
she called on him. Johnny said, "My
Aunt Gina has a sweater with ten
buttons, but her boobs are so big she
can only fasten eight."
"My mate came off his motorbike today," he said.
"Oh really?" I asked.
"Yes," he replied. "He has slight brain damage, two broken arms and is completely blind in one eye."
"Blimey," I said. "No wonder he came off it then."
A paladin goes in to a mechanic's shop, and says "Hey, you've got to help me. Normally, I'm a perfect, upstanding paladin. I help old ladies cross the street, I tithe, I slay evil demons. But when I get in my car, I only have the urge to cause property damage and run people over. What's going on?"
The mechanic responds almost immediately. "Oh, yeah. What you've got there is a problem with your alignment."
It truly is a site for sore eyes.
He got out, looked at the damage and said "I'm not happy". So I replied " Which one are you then?"
When you're sleeping, Asians will come to eat the rice and will fix your phone for fun
Liver damage
she gave her memory foam mattress brain damage....
Damage is estimated to be in the tens of dollars
I got bit on the leg by a sheep today, didn't do too much damage though.
Just grazed the knee.
The little boy was in a bus eating a chocolate, then he took another one and then another ...
A man next to him said, "Do you know that too much of it will damage your teeth??"
The boy replied, "My grandfather lived for 132 years"
The man asked , "Was it because of eating chocolate?"
The boy replied, "No, he was always minding his own business!".
I got out to check the damage and a midget jumped out of the drivers seat shouting,
"I'm not happy!"
I took one look and replied,
"well which one are you then?"
Yes, I forgot our anniversary again.
I just smoke the ones that seriously damage health instead
So don't pick a fight with an Irishman. For a short time, all their attacks do maximum damage.
...He gets out of his car to inspect the damage and a dwarf gets out of the other car. He says "I'm not happy, you know"!
The guy says "No? Well which one are you then"?
A little boy on bus was eating a chocolate. Then he took another one out from his bag and ate it, and then another one.
An old man sitting next to him said: "Do you know too much of it will damage your teeth."
The boy replied: "You know, my grandfather lived for 122 years."
Old Man said: "Was it because of eating chocolate?"
The boy replied:"No, He was always minding his own business."
...when suddenly she is distracted and crashes into the car in front of her, causing a bit of damage. She immediately jumps out of her car to give her details to the person she's crashed into. She walks to the driver's door and out hops a dwarfed man. 'I'm very sorry for the accident I've caused,' the lady says, 'I'll pay for any damage.' To which the dwarf replies, 'I'm not happy...' The lady says, 'If you're not happy, then which one are you?'
The first thought that hit me was "What ever happened to using ashtrays?".
Hail, Hitler!
Doctor : I guess I need see an x Ray to determine any damage to ribs
Blonde : Promise to delete after seeing
After being laid off from five different jobs in four months, Joe was hired by a warehouse.
One day he lost control of a forklift and drove it off the loading dock.
Surveying the damage, the owner shook his head and said he'd have to withhold 10 percent of Joe's wages to pay for the repairs.
"How much will it cost?" asked Joe.
"About $5,500," said the owner.
"What a relief!" exclaimed Joe. "I've finally got job security!"
Luckily the damage was just super fish oil
I cut my leg badly and was rushed to hospital. I said to the doctor, "what's the damage" He replied, "just some torn tissue".
The doctor asks "what happened?"
So she says, "I was feeling really depressed so I took a gun, held it to my left ear and fired."
The doctor says "how did that damage your hand?"
"Well, before I fired I thought that it might be loud so I plugged the other ear."
Luckily for Trump, he just needs to worry about lung damage.
An R.V. dent.
When they see an older gentleman limping in front of them. Every time he took a step his right foot would shake.
"I bet it is a degenerative nerve damage issue" says the first one.
"It looks more like a hip joint issue" says the second.
They argue for a while and then decide to ask the man what his problem is.
The gentleman listens to them and then he says:
"I thought it was only a fart"
I'm just glad it was a soft drink otherwise that may have caused some serious damage.
He also say's I'm half deaf
I am not giving 2020 an extra hour's worth of damage.
Ass skin for a friend.
Co-ladder-al damage.
I'm worried I have soft tissue damage.
What's one more pot hole?
This trend, every time I see it.
When a rooster crows, their hearing closes off so they don't damage their hearing. The narcissist does the same when yelling.
How much damage can their Weiner make...
The game where players make enough money to risk getting brain damage, or the debate where the players already have brain damage?
Be careful not to put disinformation too far into your ear canal.
If I had a nickel for every time I hit my head, I'd have brain damage.
his secret service code name is officially "Agent Orange".
Things were getting hot and heavy and she said lets get out of here. I said where do you want to go back to? She said in a seductive voice, "wherever we can cause the most damage".
So I took her to my therapist.
I call it "Book Club"
She said it would prove she had been acting crazy due to brain damage. Having been lied to so many times before I scoffed. Told her I wasn't having any of her psycho schematic bullshit
Harvey Dent
You aren't allowed to damage the government's property.
I was driving my moms car and she was yelling at me. Then i crashed her car into the garage she told me "You have to pay for the damage you've done." So now when i get the bill from the therapist i send it to her.
A hungry hungry hippocampus!
if only the unwrapping process didn't damage the box so much.
By giving it severe permanent brain damage.
One is always asleep, the other one can't feel a thing.
I hate nerve damage.
You take 1d4 damage.
Luckily, that leaf didn't do much damage.
After looking at the rubble, he asked the manager if the building was a new structure. The manager said, "I don't think so, it was built in the 1970s."
The adjuster said, "I that case, the best payout I can give you is $50,000. If it was a new building I could have given you 95,000.
The front right leg on each of the works has been removed.
The worker sprints to the front of the store to alert his manager of the vandalism. On his way, he spies a redneck carrying the missing appendages.
"SIR!" the worker shouts. "You have damaged valuable pieces of merchandise. Exit the store. IMMEDIATELY!"
"Why?" drawls the redneck innocently. "I have the right two bear arms!"
She nearly slapped me when I offered to make the necessary repairs. I suppose I shouldn't have asked her if she wanted me to shove some caulk in her bee holes
The damage it caused was catastrophic
I'm feeling all right now
Me: Sorry can't come
Friend: Why not
Me: Might get arrested
Friend: So what it'll be such a great party you won't care about a petty fine
Me: But I'll be on the police database which could damage my future career
Friend: What do you want to be?
Me: A criminal
Scientists had first guessed it was too small to do much damage.
Later, they reassessed and realized this collision would be on par with the impact that wiped out the dinosaurs.
It was an underrated comet.
Brain damage is forever.
Grow green grapes to avoid damage and loss.
The captain gathers everyone on deck and explains the situation, and solemnly asks if anyone knows any good prayers. The yeoman steps up and says that years of seminary have made him and the Lord really close and he has just a prayer for this situation.
The captain says "Good, you get to stay behind we only have enough life jackets for everyone else."
Tiny mushrooms.
I told them I was out of sight, out of mind
For starters, they both do damage to the surrounding area when fired
If the demonic possession hasn't been so often misdiagnosed for brain damage ...
A dentist.
Not much damage but he's had to reinstall his Windows.
FEMA representative: During the last storm did you receive any damage to your property?
Homeowner: Hail, yes.
Looking at a mirror to survey the damage he sees a marking stamped into his forehead. REPOST it said.
Strong people don't put others down. They pick them up and slam them on the ground for maximum damage.
Totally worth the damage to my truck!
...everyone else takes full damage.
I told him not to worry as it would probably crash out in France
There is an abundance of havoc jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 78 funniest jokes and damage puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any devastate witze you can hear about damage.
Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.