Dam Jokes

What are some Dam jokes?

I just finished a documentary on beavers

Best dam movie I've ever seen.

I just watched a documentary about beavers.

Best dam show I've ever seen.

I bet you can't name two structures that can hold water

Well, dam!

What did the fish say when he swam into a cement wall?


A fish swimming in a river hits into a wall and yells


I'll see your 7 year old joke and I'll raise you my own. What did the fish say when it hit the wall?


Did you know the Hover Dam was supposed to be twice as tall as it is now?

After some re-evaluation, they thought it would be 2 dam high.

I'll see myself out...


Jean Claude Van Dam, Steven Segal, and Arnold Schwarzenagger all decide to go out trick-or-treating as musical composers for Halloween. They go into a costume store and look for masks. Jean Claude sees a costume that he likes and says, "I think I'll go as Beethoven." Steven Segal sees a costume that grabs his attention and says, "I'll be Mozart." Arnold had a tough time finding a costume that he liked, but he eventually found one that appeased his interest. He picks up a costume and said, "I'll be Bach."

Hey girl, are you a large concrete structure forming an artificial lake?

...because dam.

Why was the beaver homeless?

He just couldn't give a dam.

What do you call a water barrier constructed for rodents in the capital of the Netherlands?

An Amsterdam Hamster Dam

I saw a documentary about beavers last night.

Best dam show I ever watched.

A fish swimming upriver and bumps his head.

"Dam" he says.

What did the fish say when he hit a brick wall?


What's the worst part about being a beaver?

It's a lot of dam work.

After many years, my father finally got his book, "Important Moments in Hydroelectric Power" published

And it's about dam time.

Fish is swimming up river when he bumps his head.


What do you call a Canadian tampon?

A beaver dam

Nearly 200,000 Californians evacuated due to Oroville Dam reaching a likely catastrophic failure. You may think this isn't the time to bring up politics however this is Trump's fault.

No man made structure was built to hold so many liberal tears.

I just watched a documentary about hydroelectricity

Best dam program I've seen in a long time.

What did the beaver say when he chipped his tooth?

Dam it!

What did the fish say when he ran into a cement wall?


What did the dam say to the fish?
Dumb bass.

One day, a young deer named Frank Lee went out with his mother...

As they were carrying on with their daily business, they came across a river with a beaver building a dam.

The young deer asked his mother, Why is the beaver building a dam?

His mother responded, Not for long. Watch and learn, son.

The mother then proceeded to destroy and wreak havoc on the dam the beaver had built, destroying it in the process. All the branches and sticks were gone with the wind.

Frank Lee was distraught and started to panic. You didn't have to do that, mother!

The mother calmly responded, Frank Lee, my deer, I don't give a dam.

Whistleblower reveals that the government is concealing cracks in Hoover Dam.

FBI is still looking for the leak.

I watched a documentary about beavers the other day.

It was the best dam film I've ever seen

What did the fish swimming upstream say when it hit its head?


Where does a beaver priest live?

In a God Dam House!

What do you call a communist beaver?

A dam commie

Do you know two places to put water?

Well Dam

What did one river say to the other river as they raced down a hill and suddenly hit a dead end?


I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen!

Anyone here eat a beaver before?

I hear they taste pretty dam good.

Want to know why Herbert Hoover was my favorite president?

Because he actually gave a dam.

Two fish swim into a concrete wall.

One turns to the other and says "Dam."

Are you a hydroelectric source of power?

...cause dam!

How much wood does a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck chuck could chuck wood?

None because only beavers give a dam.

I saw a beaver movie last night.

And it was the best dam movie I'd ever seen.

Two beavers are looking over a river.

One turns to the other and says, "Dam it."

What did the cow say when she saw the Dalmatian?

Dam... I got to get in shape!

Californians hate walls so much...

They cried until the Oroville dam collapsed.

What's the difference between being erotic and kinky?

Erotic is when you use a feather.

Kinky is when you use the whole dam bird!

What did the fish say when it ran into the wall?

DAM! (airplane stewardess told me and had me on ground laughing)

A salmon is swimming up a river

A salmon is swimming up a river. It hits a wall. Dam.

What did the beaver say after it hit a wall?


What does a fish say when it sees a wall?


Did you hear about the new group my mom's in?

D.A.M. (Moms against dyslexia)

Two fish are swimming upstream and one of the fish hits his head against concrete.

He looks to the other, and says "dam"

What does a fish say when it runs into a wall?

Oh, dam.

How does Jesus turn a river into a lake?

God dam it.

What did the fish say when the river stopped flowing

Gosh dam it

What did the selfish beaver say to the deer that asked it to help stop the flooding affecting its grazing grounds?

Frankly, my deer, I don't give a dam.

I'm a member of DAM

Mothers Against Dyslexia

The Windmill, the Coal Plant, and Geothermal Station Formed a Band

The Windmill, the Coal Plant, and Geothermal Station Formed the Band "Earth, Wind, and Fire". Their songs start off slow but eventually build in Energy. They would have been Electric too if it wasn't for their Dam manager always holding them back. He was Resistant to change and couldn't see the Potential in the Current market. That's when a few atoms decided Fuse together and go Nuclear. Earth Wind and Fire couldn't compete with Watt the other band brought so they Discharged their manager and started their own Solar careers

What did the mayor say when he found out the river is flooding?

Dam it!

[Breaking] Muslim terrorists have crashed a speedboat full of explosives into the base of the Hoover Dam...

Police suspect this might be the first attack in a month long operation named Ramadam.

After a fatal river rise, what did the commander beaver say to all the other beavers?

Dam it.

What did the beaver say when he found out his new neighbour was a fish?

Cod dam

That's the spirit

A pastor goes to the local farmers market
There a boy is selling dam fish
The boy tells the pastor to buy some of his dam fish. The pastor calls him out on his language, but the boy explains that he caught the fish at the local dam. The pastor buys some me and goes home. When his family is having dinner he tells his wife to pass the dam fish. His son says that's the spirit dad now pass the fu!!ing potatoes.

What did the fish say after he ran into the wall?


How to make Dam jokes?

We have collected gags and puns about Dam to have fun with. Do you want to stand out in a crowd with a good sense of humour joking about Dam? If Yes here are a lot more hilarious lines and funny Dam pick up lines to share with friends.

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