dam Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious dam puns

If a lesbian cock blocks another lesbian

Is it considered a Beaver dam?

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I just watched a documentary about beavers.

Best dam show I've ever seen.

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I bet you can't name two structures that can hold water

Well, dam!

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What did the fish say when he swam into a cement wall?

Dam.

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A fish swimming in a river hits into a wall and yells

Dam.

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I'll see your 7 year old joke and I'll raise you my own. What did the fish say when it hit the wall?

Dam.

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Did you know the Hover Dam was supposed to be twice as tall as it is now?

After some re-evaluation, they thought it would be 2 dam high.


I'll see myself out...

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THE GOVINATOR

Jean Claude Van Dam, Steven Segal, and Arnold Schwarzenagger all decide to go out trick-or-treating as musical composers for Halloween. They go into a costume store and look for masks. Jean Claude sees a costume that he likes and says, "I think I'll go as Beethoven." Steven Segal sees a costume that grabs his attention and says, "I'll be Mozart." Arnold had a tough time finding a costume that he liked, but he eventually found one that appeased his interest. He picks up a costume and said, "I'll be Bach."

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A boy is trying to sell fish...

A boy is trying to sell fish so he screams "Dam fish, get your dam fish here."

A pastor walks up and asks: "Why are you using bad language?"

The boy explains that he caught them at the local dam.

The pastor buys one and takes it home and tells his wife to "Cook the dam fish!"

She says: "I didn't know pastors talked like that" so he explained it to her.

Later at the table he says to his wife: "Pass the dam fish"

and the son says

"Thats the spirit dad, pass the fucking potatoes!"

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Hey girl, are you a large concrete structure forming an artificial lake?

...because dam.

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A boy is selling fish on a corner

To get the attention of the passers by, he yelled "Dam fish for sale! Get your dam fish here!" A pastor hears this and asks, "Why are you calling them 'damn fish'?" The boy responds "Because i caught these fish at the local dam."

The pastor buys a couple fish, takes them home to his wife and asks her to cook the dam fish. The wife responds, surprised "I didn't know it was acceptable for a pastor to speak that way." He explains to her why they are dam fish.

Later at dinner, he asks his son to pass the dam fish. His son responds "That's the spirit, dad. Now pass the fucking potatoes."

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Why was the beaver homeless?

He just couldn't give a dam.

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What do you call a water barrier constructed for rodents in the capital of the Netherlands?

An Amsterdam Hamster Dam

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I saw a documentary about beavers last night.

Best dam show I ever watched.

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A fish swimming upriver and bumps his head.

"Dam" he says.

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A reverend's wife walks into a butcher shop.

She knows that her husband will be entertaining some pretty important members of their congregation for dinner, and she wants only the finest food. She asks the butcher what he would personally recommend, to which he replies "Well ma'am, I would have some Dam Ham." The reverend's wife, a simple lady, is outraged. "I am a good Christian woman," she says "and I refuse to be sworn at!" Obviously misunderstand, the butcher quickly explains himself, saying "No, ma'am, you don't understand. That's the brand name! Dam Ham. Finest around." The wife chuckles, apologizes for her reaction and brings it home.
Her husband comes home from work and asks what will be for dinner. She of course tells him that they will be having Dam Ham, much to his outrage. Barely able to contain himself, he yells "We're having guests tonight and you use THAT language?". The mistake being a familiar one, she quickly laughs and explains "No, Honey, that's the brand! Dam Ham!" Seeing his error, they have a good guffaw.
Soon, the guests arrive. The reverend, his wife and son are seated at one side, with their parishioners on the other. After grace, the reverend looks to his wife and courteously asks "Dear, can you pass the Dam Ham?"
Their son, thrilled, immediately jumps to his feet. "Now you've got it pop! Hey, bitch, pass the fucking potatoes!"

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What did the fish say when it ran into a wall?

Dam

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What's the worst part about being a beaver?

It's a lot of dam work.

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"Dam fish for sale!

A boy is selling fish on a corner. To get his customers' attention, he is yelling, "Dam fish for sale! Get your dam fish here!" A pastor hears this and asks, "Why are you calling them 'dam fish.'" The boy responds, "Because I caught these fish at the local dam." The pastor buys a couple fish, takes them home to his wife, and asks her to cook the dam fish. The wife responds surprised, "I didn't know it was acceptable for a preacher to speak that way." He explains to her why they are dam fish. Later at the dinner table, he asks his son to pass the dam fish. He responds, "That's the spirit, Dad! Now pass the fucking potatoes!"

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After many years, my father finally got his book, "Important Moments in Hydroelectric Power" published

And it's about dam time.

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Fish is swimming up river when he bumps his head.

"Dam!"

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What do you call a Canadian tampon?

A beaver dam

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Nearly 200,000 Californians evacuated due to Oroville Dam reaching a likely catastrophic failure. You may think this isn't the time to bring up politics however this is Trump's fault.

No man made structure was built to hold so many liberal tears.

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Pass the dam fish!

A boy is selling fish on a corner. To get his customers' attention, he is yelling, "Dam fish for sale! Get your dam fish here!" A pastor hears this and asks, "Why are you calling them "dam fish." The boy responds, "Because I caught these fish at the local dam." The pastor buys a couple fish, takes them home to his wife, and asks her to cook the dam fish. The wife responds surprised, "I didn't know it was acceptable for a preacher to speak that way." He explains to her why they are dam fish. Later at the dinner table, he asks his son to pass the dam fish. He responds, "That's the spirit, Dad! Now pass the fucking potatoes!"

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What did the beaver say when he chipped his tooth?

Dam it!

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I just watched a documentary about hydroelectricity

Best dam program I've seen in a long time.

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Whistleblower reveals that the government is concealing cracks in Hoover Dam.

FBI is still looking for the leak.

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What did the fish say when he ran into a cement wall?

Dam.


What did the dam say to the fish?
Dumb bass.

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I watched a documentary about beavers the other day.

It was the best dam film I've ever seen

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What did the fish swimming upstream say when it hit its head?

"Dam."

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Where does a beaver priest live?

In a God Dam House!

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Do you know two places to put water?

Well Dam

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What did one river say to the other river as they raced down a hill and suddenly hit a dead end?

Dam!

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Anyone here eat a beaver before?

I hear they taste pretty dam good.

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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen!

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What are the most funny Dam jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Dam? Well, here are the best Dam dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Dam pick up lines to share with friends.

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