Dallas Jokes
82 dallas jokes and hilarious dallas puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about dallas that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Are you a fan of the Dallas Cowboys, or a hater of them? Check out these hilarious jokes about the city of Dallas and their beloved teams - the Cowboys, Stars, Mavericks and even the Denver Broncos! Get ready to laugh at some of the best Dallas jokes!
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Funniest Dallas Short Jokes
Short dallas jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The dallas humour may include short coach jokes also.
- What's the safest place in Dallas during a tornado? The Cowboys stadium, the only place there'll never be a touchdown
- What does a Dallas Cowboys fan do when his team has won the Super Bowl? He turns off the PlayStation.
- Where are people in Dallas staying to avoid getting Ebola? The Cowboys Stadium.
Because they can't catch anything there. - How does Dallas Cowboys fans change a lightbulb? They don't... they just talk about how good the old one was.
- Ever wonder why Dallas Cowboy fans are so rich? Because they never have to pay for super bowl tickets!
- What do the Dallas Cowboys do when they win the Superbowl? Turn off their Nintendo and go to bed.
- What's the difference between a dollar and the Dallas Cowboys? A dollar is good for four quarters.
- What do the Dallas Cowboys and the Rev. Billie Graham have in common? Both can make 70,000 people stand up and shout "JESUS CHRIST!"
- Have you heard about the film they're making, where Dallas gets destroyed by space junk? Debris Does Dallas.
- Mans dying wish Did you hear about the guy whose dying wish was to have Dallas Cowboys as his pall bearers? He wanted to give them the chance to let him down one last time.
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Dallas One Liners
Which dallas one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with dallas? I can suggest the ones about dallas texas and dallas cowboys.
- What Do you call 20 Millionaires watching the Superbowl? The Dallas Cowboys
- What do you call 50 men watching the Superbowl? The Dallas Cowboys.
- Dallas Police is hiring As of Friday morning they have 5 positions to fill
- What do the Dallas Cowboys and vaping have in common? They both can't beat a pack
- The Dallas Cowboys are indeed America's team. They shut down when it matters most.
- I had a dream I was in Dallas riding in the car with JFK... It was mind-blowing.
- Debbie Did Dallas And then Harvey Did Houston.
- How many Dallas Cowboys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One and they're done.
- If there are four Dallas Cowboys in a car who's driving? The county sheriff.
- You know my favorite thing about the Dallas Cowboys logo? It's also their rating.
- Why did only two people in Texas get Ebola? Because Dallas can't catch anything.
- Why aren't the Dallas Cowboys aren't scared about Ebola? They never catch anything
- What's the only good thing to come out of Dallas, Tx? A pine box.
- Debbie does Dallas But if she's anything like my wife she doesn't do the bins
- What does Tony Romo and JFK have in common? Both of their careers ended in Dallas.
Dallas Cowboys Jokes
Here is a list of funny dallas cowboys jokes and even better dallas cowboys puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- When I was younger, my sister always said she wanted to be in the Dallas Cowboys Cheer Squad. I always said the same thing, but just meant it in a much different way.
- Last week, I took a Dallas Cowboys jersey away from my 2-year-old nephew. It was a choking hazard.
- What do the Dallas Cowboys and Billy Graham have in common? They can both make crowds of 100,000 stand up and yell Jesus.
- Where do you go if a twister is about to touchdown in Texas? The Dallas Cowboy Stadium, a touchdown never happens there!
- Female Cowboys fans Why is it considered safe to date a girl who's a Dallas Cowboys fan?
Because she will never expect a ring! - Want to hear a joke about the Dallas Cowboys? The Dallas cowboys logo isnt a logo, its a rating
- What's the difference between a cry baby and Dallas Cowboys fans? Eventually the baby stops crying
- What do the Dallas Cowboys and the Postal Service have in common? Both, don't deliver on Sundays.
- Why don't Dallas Cowboy fans take their wives to the football games?
'Cause they jump the fence and eat the grass. - Ebola is in Dallas? At least the Dallas Cowboys don't have to worry about it. They can't catch anything.
Dallas Texas Jokes
Here is a list of funny dallas texas jokes and even better dallas texas puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- For a second consecutive year a team competing in the Super Bowl has home field advantage. To ensure this doesn't happen again, all subsequent Super Bowls will be held in Dallas, Texas.
- I knew a friend that went to Texas and didn't enjoy her stay there. Told me it was Dallas time she ever goes there again.
- Why did the Indian restaurant in Dallas have al fresco seating? Because Texas is an open curry state.
- Even though Chuck Norris' lives in Dallas, Texas, his house still has spectacular views of both the Atlantic and Pacific oceans.
- I don't believe there is Ebola in Texas No one in Dallas knows how to catch anything!
The Funniest Dallas Jokes for a Bone-Shaking Laugh
What funny jokes about dallas you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean howdy jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make dallas pranks.
Not-so-famous last words
"I need this s**... visit to Dallas like I need a hole in the head!" -JFK
Little boy in custody battle.
Hey mother and father were in a heated custody battle for their son. The judge asks the little boy,"Do you want to go live with your mother?". Little boy replied,"No she beats me." The judge says "Oh,do you want to live with your dad?". Once again the little boy replied " No, he beats me." so the judge asks,"Well who do you want to live with?". Little boy looks at the judge and says, "The Dallas Cowboys they don't beat anybody."
What does the NFL have in common with Brokeback Mountain?
The Cowboys s**....
A 4th grade '49ers fan in Dallas
The scene is a 4th grade classroom in Dallas, Texas. The teacher asks for a show of hands:
"Hey kids, how many of you are Dallas Cowboys fans?"
Everyone in the class raises their hand, except for little Suzy. The teacher says:
"Little Suzy, I notice you didn't raise your hand. Why is that?" Little Suzy responds:
"Because I'm a 49ers fan!"
"A 49ers fan?," the teacher asks incredulously, "Why on Earth are you a 49ers fan?"
"Because my Mommy is a 49ers fan, my Daddy is a 49ers fan, so I'm a 49ers fan."
The teacher doesn't like Suzy's answer:
"Little Suzy, that's no kind of logic. What if your Daddy was a drug dealer and your Mommy was a p**...?"
Suzy doesn't blink an eye:
"Well then I'd be a Raiders fan!"
If you s**... for money, you go to jail.
Unless you move to dallas, then you become an NFL quarterback.
Hollywood is remaking the classic film "Who dares wins"
This time however it is not about the SAS, but Barack Obama visiting Dallas in an open top limo.
My brothers new girlfriend reminds of the highway between Fort Worth and Dallas.
Flat with no curves
The Dallas Cowboys have 6 straight losses
They can't seem to beat anyone unless it is a woman on a pile of guns.
What do you get when you cross the CIA and the Republican Party?
Shot in the head in Dallas.
Dallas Cowboys
Why do you have to repeat things you say to Dez Bryant?
He doesn't always catch it the first time.
Flower Salesman Arrested
Local Chinese man Chen Yu stopped a Catholic monk from selling flowers tonight in Downton Dallas. The monk was detained for not having a vending license. The monk will be fined $300 and Yu has been awarded for his efforts. At the end of the day, only Yu can prevent Florist Friars.
The Dallas shooting suspect demanded a cell phone. The police met his demand
In fact they gave him the latest phone, the brand new Samsung Galaxy C4
Whats the best part of dating a Dallas cheerleader?
You know she never expects to get a ring
It was so hot in Dallas today...
I saw a crackhead put copper wire back into an air conditioner.
I recently drove through Dallas in a Lincoln Continental
The guy in the back was really nervous for some reason.
Last time I was working in Dallas, I had picked up these two girls on Uber.
They were talking about sight seeing and various landmarks when we pulled up next to a older brick building that had huge windows at a red light. I noticed the building was empty inside, like it had been cleared and renovated but not occupied. So I pointed it out and told the girls it was the Dallas Air and Space Museum.
Sports Teams should be named for what their city is famous for
For example: Dallas is known for cowboys, San Francisco was the place for the miners, 49ers, to bring their gold and claims, Islignton was famous as being home of the Artillery Regiment, thus "Arsenal," Milwauke HAD brewing.
Washington should change their name to "Senators," and Cleveland could become the "Steamers."
A young man was drafted and sent to medical evaluation
The doctor asked him to read the first five letters on the poster. He quickly replied What poster? after which he was relieved of duty.
Unfortunately, as he went to the cinema that night, he was seated right next to the very same doctor. Without hesitation, he tapped the doctor on the shoulder and said:
Excuse me miss, is this bus destined for Dallas?
