The Best 49 Dallas Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Dallas jokes. There are some dallas amarillo jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these dallas bravado puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Dallas Jokes and Puns

Not-so-famous last words

"I need this stupid visit to Dallas like I need a hole in the head!" -JFK

Little boy in custody battle.

Hey mother and father were in a heated custody battle for their son. The judge asks the little boy,"Do you want to go live with your mother?". Little boy replied,"No she beats me." The judge says "Oh,do you want to live with your dad?". Once again the little boy replied " No, he beats me." so the judge asks,"Well who do you want to live with?". Little boy looks at the judge and says, "The Dallas Cowboys they don't beat anybody."

Mans dying wish

Did you hear about the guy whose dying wish was to have Dallas Cowboys as his pall bearers? He wanted to give them the chance to let him down one last time.

Dallas joke, Mans dying wish

What Do you call 20 Millionaires watching the Superbowl?

The Dallas Cowboys

What's the safest place in Dallas during a tornado?

The Cowboys stadium, the only place there'll never be a touchdown


What does the NFL have in common with Brokeback Mountain?

The Cowboys suck.

*(I am a Dallas Cowboys fan, but I don't lack a sense of humor.)*

How does Dallas Cowboys fans change a lightbulb?

They don't... they just talk about how good the old one was.

Dallas joke, How does Dallas Cowboys fans change a lightbulb?

What do the Dallas Cowboys do when they win the Superbowl?

Turn off their Nintendo and go to bed.

What do the Dallas Cowboys and the Rev. Billie Graham have in common?

Both can make 70,000 people stand up and shout "JESUS CHRIST!"

Where are people in Dallas staying to avoid getting Ebola?

The Cowboys Stadium.

Because they can't catch anything there.

Ebola is in Dallas?

At least the Dallas Cowboys don't have to worry about it. They can't catch anything.

You can explore dallas denver reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean dallas utah dad jokes. There are also dallas puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Why aren't the Dallas Cowboys aren't scared about Ebola?

They never catch anything

Why did only two people in Texas get Ebola?

Because Dallas can't catch anything.

If you suck for money, you go to jail.

Unless you move to dallas, then you become an NFL quarterback.

What's the difference between a cry baby and Dallas Cowboys fans?

Eventually the baby stops crying

What does a Dallas Cowboys fan do when his team has won the Super Bowl?

He turns off the PlayStation.

Dallas joke, What does a Dallas Cowboys fan do when his team has won the Super Bowl?

Why don't Dallas Cowboy fans

take their wives to the football games?

'Cause they jump the fence and eat the grass.

Hollywood is remaking the classic film "Who dares wins"

This time however it is not about the SAS, but Barack Obama visiting Dallas in an open top limo.

The Dallas Cowboys have 6 straight losses

They can't seem to beat anyone unless it is a woman on a pile of guns.


What do you get when you cross the CIA and the Republican Party?

Shot in the head in Dallas.

Dallas Cowboys

Why do you have to repeat things you say to Dez Bryant?

He doesn't always catch it the first time.

Where do you go if a twister is about to touchdown in Texas?

The Dallas Cowboy Stadium, a touchdown never happens there!

Ever wonder why Dallas Cowboy fans are so rich?

Because they never have to pay for super bowl tickets!

Flower Salesman Arrested

Local Chinese man Chen Yu stopped a Catholic monk from selling flowers tonight in Downton Dallas. The monk was detained for not having a vending license. The monk will be fined $300 and Yu has been awarded for his efforts. At the end of the day, only Yu can prevent Florist Friars.

The Dallas shooting suspect demanded a cell phone. The police met his demand

In fact they gave him the latest phone, the brand new Samsung Galaxy C4

Dallas Police is hiring

As of Friday morning they have 5 positions to fill

You know my favorite thing about the Dallas Cowboys logo?

It's also their rating.

Why did Judge Reinhold get arrested in Dallas?

Because he can't even get arrested in Hollywood.

What do the Dallas Cowboys and vaping have in common?

They both can't beat a pack

How many Dallas Cowboys does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One and they're done.

I knew a friend that went to Texas and didn't enjoy her stay there.

Told me it was Dallas time she ever goes there again.

Last week, I took a Dallas Cowboys jersey away from my 2-year-old nephew.

It was a choking hazard.

What do the Dallas Cowboys and the Postal Service have in common?

Both, don't deliver on Sundays.

Debbie Did Dallas

And then Harvey Did Houston.

If there are four Dallas Cowboys in a car who's driving?

The county sheriff.

Whats the best part of dating a Dallas Cheerleader?

You know she never expects to get a ring

A boy was a victim of domestic abuse and was told hey could allow anyone to have custody of him

He chose the Dallas Cowboys because they're not capable of beating anyone

What's the difference between a dollar and the Dallas Cowboys?

A dollar is good for four quarters.

When I was younger, my sister always said she wanted to be in the Dallas Cowboys Cheer Squad.

I always said the same thing, but just meant it in a much different way.

I had a dream I was in Dallas riding in the car with JFK...

It was mind-blowing.

It was so hot in Dallas today...

I saw a crackhead put copper wire back into an air conditioner.

I recently drove through Dallas in a Lincoln Continental

The guy in the back was really nervous for some reason.

Why did the Indian restaurant in Dallas have al fresco seating?

Because Texas is an open curry state.

The Dallas Cowboys are indeed America's team.

They shut down when it matters most.

NSFW What is the difference between the X Games and the Dallas Cowboy's cheerleaders?

The X Games is a group of Cunning Stunts.

Last time I was working in Dallas, I had picked up these two girls on Uber.

They were talking about sight seeing and various landmarks when we pulled up next to a older brick building that had huge windows at a red light. I noticed the building was empty inside, like it had been cleared and renovated but not occupied. So I pointed it out and told the girls it was the Dallas Air and Space Museum.

Sports Teams should be named for what their city is famous for

For example: Dallas is known for cowboys, San Francisco was the place for the miners, 49ers, to bring their gold and claims, Islignton was famous as being home of the Artillery Regiment, thus "Arsenal," Milwauke HAD brewing.

Washington should change their name to "Senators," and Cleveland could become the "Steamers."

A young man was drafted and sent to medical evaluation

The doctor asked him to read the first five letters on the poster. He quickly replied What poster? after which he was relieved of duty.

Unfortunately, as he went to the cinema that night, he was seated right next to the very same doctor. Without hesitation, he tapped the doctor on the shoulder and said:

Excuse me miss, is this bus destined for Dallas?

What do the Dallas Cowboys and Billy Graham have in common?

They can both make crowds of 100,000 stand up and yell Jesus.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the dallas howdy jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working dallas roadhouse piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes