Dairy Jokes

167 dairy jokes and hilarious dairy puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about dairy that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Who says dairy jokes can't be hilarious? Get ready to laugh at some of the most amusing puns featuring milk, cheese, yogurt, feta cheese and the milkman. From bad dairy to no dairy and non-dairy jokes, these puns will have you rolling with laughter.Bring on the cheese!

Best Short Dairy Jokes

Short dairy jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The dairy humour may include short milk jokes also.

  1. My uncle was taking our picture at a dairy farm in Wisconsin when he was crushed by a giant wheel of cheese. We tried to warn him.
  2. A guy limped into a Dairy Queen and ordered a banana split. The attendant began to make it for him and said "Crushed nuts?" And the guy said, No, I just have a bad knee."
  3. Did you hear about the farmer that failed dairy farming school? He didn't work well with udders.
  4. You know why the 2 piece bathing suit was invented? To separate the dairy section from meat section...
  5. my pregnant wife was feeling sensitive about her enlarged breast due to lactation, so I gave her a cute nickname to cheer her up. Apparently Dairy Queen wasn't the right choice.
  6. I walked out my house this morning... And a man threw milk and cheese at me.
    I thought, How dairy?
  7. I was walking down the road... ...when the guy in front of me turned around and started throwing milk, eggs, yoghurt and butter at me.
    I thought, "How dairy!".
  8. You hear about the kid who lost the spelling bee on the word "dairy"? ...I told him there's no use crying over misspelled milk.
  9. Whats the difference between a dairy farm and a McDonalds. You'll get arrested if you try to milk the cows at McDonalds.
  10. What did the lactose intolerant guy say after having a glass of milk? Please excuse my dairy air

Quick Jump To

Dairy joke, What did the lactose intolerant guy say after having a glass of milk?

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about dairy can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of dairy puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

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Dairy One Liners

Which dairy one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with dairy? I can suggest the ones about cow milk and cow milked.

  1. My brother just threw a milk carton at me How dairy.
  2. What do you call a gay milkman? A dairy queen.
  3. A man threw a milk bottle at me today How dairy
  4. A man just assaulted me with milk, butter and cheese How dairy
  5. This guy just threw milk on me! How dairy....
  6. How do Japanese people learn to say milk in English? Dairy practice.
  7. Some guy stole all the milk out of my fridge today How dairy
  8. Cow farts…. Come from the dairy air.
    (I'll see myself out)
  9. Why did the Dairy Queen get pregnant? The Burger King forgot to wrap his whopper
  10. How often does an oriental farmer milk his cows? Dairy
  11. What do you call a gender neutral person who is lactose intolerant!? Non buy dairy.
  12. A man robbed me of all my milk, cream, cheese, and butter. How dairy..
  13. What do you call a cow in high heels and tiara? Dairy Queen
  14. If Cinderella had been a dairy maid she would have been called... mozzarella!
  15. How often did the asian cow go to the gym? Dairy

No Dairy Jokes

Here is a list of funny no dairy jokes and even better no dairy puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What do you call a gay cow? Dairy Queen
  • My brother just hit me with a milk carton How dairy
  • Did you hear about the Holy Cow? Some say he was legend-dairy.
  • Man just attacked me with milk, cream and butter How dairy.
  • Man, some dude just poured a gallon of milk all over me How dairy!
  • So I was walking past my local supermarket the other day and a man started to throw cheese, butter and milk at me. How dairy.
  • Went to the shop earlier today, saw a man throwing all the milk, cheese, yoghurt etc I thought to myself...

    "How dairy?".
  • What do you call a wizard who specializes in dairy based magic? A lactomancer.
  • Hey! He stole my milk! How dairy!
  • What does Activision and a Dairy worker have in common? They both love milking.

Dairy Milk Jokes

Here is a list of funny dairy milk jokes and even better dairy milk puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • This guy came at me with a bottle of milk. How dairy
  • What did they call the arab dairy farmer who became the chief? A milk sheikh

    Figured I had 6 min for my cake day, and for some reason that was the joke that popped in my head
  • Some guy threw a gallon of milk at my head How dairy
  • Can you believe a man just assaulted me with milk, cream and butter... How dairy!
  • I walked into the house... And my wife said, 'Your son threw his milk at me, today!'
    I replied, 'How dairy!!'
  • I was waking down the street today and a man attacked me with milk and cheese How dairy!
  • A man just attacked me with cheese and milk How dairy
  • What do you call an Arabic dairy farmer? A milk sheikh.
  • What do you call a ship carrying dairy cows? A Galleon of Milk
  • My housemate threw milk on me... how dairy.

Dairy Cow Jokes

Here is a list of funny dairy cow jokes and even better dairy cow puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What do you call the work of a famous cow? Legend Dairy
  • Have you heard about the most famous cow in history? It was Legen-Dairy
  • Why Do You Never See Camels Going To School With Cows? Because they don't want to put up with that drama dairy.
    (My wife came up with this, don't hate me.)
  • What do cows tell their calves at bedtime? Dairy tales.
  • What do you call an Epic Cow? Legend Dairy
  • What does it smell like when a cow farts? Dairy-air
  • What do you call a camel that hates cows? Drama-dairy.
    Courtesy of my eight-year-old
  • My cows milk won a gold medal at 15 shows in a row... It was legend dairy.
  • Did you hear about the man who killed a cow? How dairy.
  • Just saw a guy punch a cow in the face How dairy

Dairy Queen Jokes

Here is a list of funny dairy queen jokes and even better dairy queen puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Why didn't the burger king get the dairy queen pregnant? Because the whopper always comes in a wrapper!
  • Dairy Queen should have had a Harry Potter promotion. You're a blizzard Dairy.
  • Who's Burger King married to? Dairy Queen.
  • How did Dairy Queen wind up pregnant? Burger King didn't wrap his Whopper
  • I just drove by an abandoned Dairy Queen. I guess you could say it was *dessert*ed
  • Why does the Dairy Queen have small fries? Because the Burger King forgets to wrap his Whopper!
  • The lobby of my local Dairy Queen was closed due to short staff. They should've hired taller employees
    (Joke brought to you by my 9yo sister)
  • What do you call a milkman wearing high heeled shoes...? A Dairy Queen.
  • Prepare to chuckle. Or groan What did the queen say when a fellow threw some cheese at her?
    How dairy!
  • Why is Dairy Queen always in a bad mood? Because she's married to Mister Softee.

Bad Dairy Jokes

Here is a list of funny bad dairy jokes and even better bad dairy puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Why do cows have bad breath? Because they breathe dairy-air.
  • Canada and the US are finalizing negotiations for dairy tariffs and Chapter 19 re: NAFTA which is bad news for Trump... He only understands Chapter 11
  • My vegetarian girlfriend started a diet where she has cut out gluten, dairy, and preservatives. It's not all that bad though, because recently she's been eating more nuts.
Dairy joke, My vegetarian girlfriend started a diet where she has cut out gluten, dairy, and preservatives.

Hilarious Dairy Jokes for a Fun-Filled Night with Friends

What funny jokes about dairy you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean cows jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make dairy prank.

Vegans don't beat their meat

They beat their "0% dairy all organic tofu"

A cow joke

Our professor started our lecture on ketosis of dairy cows by telling us about an exciting new research project at our veterinary school's dairy facility. They are working with NASA to launch some cows into outer space to orbit the earth. The title of the project is The herd shot round the world.

What is the dairy farmer's favorite exercise?

Calf Raises.

A penguin notices his car is leaking fluid...

so he takes it to the closest garage. Mechanic says he'll check it out, and to come back in a half hour. The penguin sees a Dairy Queen, strolls over, and buys himself a vanilla cone. Being a penguin, without hands, he makes quite a mess, getting ice cream all over himself. When he gets back to check on his car, the mechanic looks up, shakes his head, and says, "Looks like you blew a seal." The penguin replies, "Na, it's just ice cream."

An evangelical dairy farmer stopped by my house on Sunday

He wanted to talk about Cheeses.

I hope puns are okay.

If you live downwind from a milk processing plant, everything smells like dairy air.

Did you guys hear about the fruit and dairy tycoon from the middle East?

We call him the Banana Milk Sheikh

Cheese & Milk

Just as I was getting home last night a guy hit me with a block of cheese.
I thought that wasn't very mature.
He then ran over and pour milk all over my head.
I thought HOW DAIRY!!!

What do you call a religious dairy farmer?

Cheesus Christ

I was walking down the road and some guy tipped a whole carton of milk on me...

How dairy

If Dairy Queen and Burger King had a baby, what do you call it?

Restaurants can't have s**... you m**....

Why don't dairy farmers wear flip flops?

Because they lactose.

Spilt milk

I hate how every time I come home and go to the kitchen my flat mate has spilled milk everywhere. How dairy

I was turned into butter once.

It's dairy important to me, it was a churning point in my life and I think I'm a butter man now

Did you hear about the t**... attack on the dairy / cow farm?

It was an udder disaster.

"Hey bro, so I just got diagnosed with a dairy allergy."

"No whey, man."

Why do cow farms stink?

They're full of dairy airs.

Why was two piece swimsuit invented?

To separate the hairy from the dairy.

A man just threw a glass of milk at me......

how dairy?!?!
Shout out ATH

My hayfever makes me sneeze like my dairy intolerance makes me f**....

I hate my analogies.

Me and my best friend went to the local supermarket...

He started to throw the milk and cheese all over the aisle. I thought, how dairy?

What is Thanos' favorite dairy product?

Half and Half

I was drinking my milkshake on a cliff and thought to myself...

Wow, this is ledge 'n dairy!

This might be hard for some people to digest...


Dear Dairy,

Today I found out I have dyslexia.

My friend stole cheese from my cheese collection

How dairy

Today marks 5 weeks of isolation...

I'm walking 2 miles a day, no meat, dairy or flour. Eating fresh vegetables and home cooked meals every day. The change has been fantastic! I feel great!
Zero alcohol, a healthy diet, gluten free, caffeine free, sugar free and a 1 hour home workout each day! Lost 20 lbs and gained muscle mass. I've even cut my screen time in half and am reading a book a week.
I have no idea who wrote this, but I am really proud of them so I decided to copy and paste.

Vermont farmer

A texas cattle rancher came to visit a Vermont dairy farm. He gets a tour of the 10 acre farm, and says to the Vermont farmer "This farm aint nothin, my ranch back in texas is so big, it would take us 3 days just to drive my truck around the whole property". The Vermont farmer responds "yup I had a truck like that once"

What does a dairy farm smell like?


I was walking down the street the other day minding my own business.

When out of nowhere a man ran up to me and attacked me with some milk and cheese.
How dairy!

Some guy threw milk at me today.

How dairy.

Where do cow farts come from?

Their dairy air.

Where do cows f**... from?

Their dairy air

A woman calls her local dairy, telling them she wants to order enough milk to take a milk bath...

You want the milk pasteurized?
No, just up to my t**....

So, this dairy farmer takes his son out to learn about milking for the first time.

After he shows how to pull on the udders and fill the bucket, he says, "Now son, we have to dip your head in the milk to make it safe to drink."
The boy is confused and asks, "You've gotta dunk my whole head in the milk to be safe, Pa?"
The dairy farmer says, "No, son, no..."
"Just past your eyes."

I met a sorceress in the desert once

She told me I could have all the churned dairy products and preserved fruit I could ever want, but first I had to marry her and sign a legally binding agreement that she would get it all back if we ever got divorced
Until that day I'd never believed the legends of the prenup butter and jelly sand witch

What did the dairy farmers say when they saw godzilla?


A dairy farmer got thrown out of the comedy club last night.

They said his jokes were too cheesy

In Wisconsin a woman donated a kidney to a dairy farmer and he was so grateful he agreed to marry her. The preacher said: what God has joined let no man put asunder. The groom interrupted: what's asunder?

The preacher said apart. The farmer said a part of what? Apart from your wife said the now frustrated minister. The groom said s**...! I already got a part from her.

A Dairy Farmer got into the healthy Oat Milk business.

He *barley* made ends meet.

Did I ever tell you about the time I stole some milk that someone had left by their window?

It was ledge-end dairy

Dairy joke, Did I ever tell you about the time I stole some milk that someone had left by their window?

jokes about dairy

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these dairy jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.