The Best 89 Dairy Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Dairy jokes. There are some dairy cheddar jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these dairy edam puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Dairy Jokes and Puns

Vegans don't beat their meat

They beat their "0% dairy all organic tofu"

Whats the difference between a dairy farm and a McDonalds.

You'll get arrested if you try to milk the cows at McDonalds.

A cow joke

Our professor started our lecture on ketosis of dairy cows by telling us about an exciting new research project at our veterinary school's dairy facility. They are working with NASA to launch some cows into outer space to orbit the earth. The title of the project is The herd shot round the world.

Dairy joke, A cow joke

What is the dairy farmer's favorite exercise?

Calf Raises.

So I was walking past my local supermarket the other day and a man started to throw cheese, butter and milk at me.

How dairy.

How often did the asian cow go to the gym?


A penguin notices his car is leaking fluid...

so he takes it to the closest garage. Mechanic says he'll check it out, and to come back in a half hour. The penguin sees a Dairy Queen, strolls over, and buys himself a vanilla cone. Being a penguin, without hands, he makes quite a mess, getting ice cream all over himself. When he gets back to check on his car, the mechanic looks up, shakes his head, and says, "Looks like you blew a seal." The penguin replies, "Na, it's just ice cream."

Dairy joke, A penguin notices his car is leaking fluid...

An evangelical dairy farmer stopped by my house on Sunday

He wanted to talk about Cheeses.

I was walking down the road...

...when the guy in front of me turned around and started throwing milk, eggs, yoghurt and butter at me.

I thought, "How dairy!".

I hope puns are okay.

If you live downwind from a milk processing plant, everything smells like dairy air.

Did you guys hear about the fruit and dairy tycoon from the middle East?

We call him the Banana Milk Sheikh

You can explore dairy cow reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean dairy farm dad jokes. There are also dairy puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

My housemate threw milk on me...

how dairy.

Did you hear about the farmer that failed dairy farming school?

He didn't work well with udders.

A man robbed me of all my milk, cream, cheese, and butter.

How dairy..

This guy just threw milk on me!

How dairy....

How often does an oriental farmer milk his cows?


Dairy joke, How often does an oriental farmer milk his cows?

How did Dairy Queen wind up pregnant?

Burger King didn't wrap his Whopper

What did the lactose intolerant guy say after having a glass of milk?

Please excuse my dairy air

What do you call a religious dairy farmer?

Cheesus Christ

I was walking down the road and some guy tipped a whole carton of milk on me...

How dairy

If Dairy Queen and Burger King had a baby, what do you call it?

Restaurants can't have sex you moron.

What do you call a gay milkman?

A dairy queen.

Why don't dairy farmers wear flip flops?

Because they lactose.

Spilt milk

I hate how every time I come home and go to the kitchen my flat mate has spilled milk everywhere. How dairy

I was turned into butter once.

It's dairy important to me, it was a churning point in my life and I think I'm a butter man now

Did you hear about the man who killed a cow?

How dairy.

Went to the shop earlier today, saw a man throwing all the milk, cheese, yoghurt etc

I thought to myself...

"How dairy?".

Did you hear about the terrorist attack on the dairy / cow farm?

It was an udder disaster.

Why didn't the burger king get the dairy queen pregnant?

Because the whopper always comes in a wrapper!

A man just assaulted me with milk, butter and cheese

How dairy

I walked out my house this morning...

And a man threw milk and cheese at me.

I thought, How dairy?

What does Activision and a Dairy worker have in common?

They both love milking.

My brother just hit me with a milk carton

How dairy

My brother just threw a milk carton at me

How dairy.

"Hey bro, so I just got diagnosed with a dairy allergy."

"No whey, man."

Why do cow farms stink?

They're full of dairy airs.

A man threw a milk bottle at me today

How dairy

Why was two piece swimsuit invented?

To separate the hairy from the dairy.

A man just threw a glass of milk at me......

how dairy?!?!

Shout out ATH

My hayfever makes me sneeze like my dairy intolerance makes me fart.

I hate my analogies.

What do you call an Arabic dairy farmer?

A milk sheikh.

Me and my best friend went to the local supermarket...

He started to throw the milk and cheese all over the aisle. I thought, how dairy?

I just drove by an abandoned Dairy Queen.

I guess you could say it was *dessert*ed

Man just attacked me with milk, cream and butter

How dairy.

Man, some dude just poured a gallon of milk all over me

How dairy!

What do you call the work of a famous cow?

Legend Dairy

Why did the Dairy Queen get pregnant?

The Burger King forgot to wrap his whopper

A man just attacked me with cheese and milk

How dairy

What do you call a milkman wearing high heeled shoes...?

A Dairy Queen.

This guy came at me with a bottle of milk.

How dairy

What is Thanos' favorite dairy product?

Half and Half

I was drinking my milkshake on a cliff and thought to myself...

Wow, this is ledge 'n dairy!

This might be hard for some people to digest...


Dear Dairy,

Today I found out I have dyslexia.

My friend stole cheese from my cheese collection

How dairy

Today marks 5 weeks of isolation...

I'm walking 2 miles a day, no meat, dairy or flour. Eating fresh vegetables and home cooked meals every day. The change has been fantastic! I feel great!

Zero alcohol, a healthy diet, gluten free, caffeine free, sugar free and a 1 hour home workout each day! Lost 20 lbs and gained muscle mass. I've even cut my screen time in half and am reading a book a week.

I have no idea who wrote this, but I am really proud of them so I decided to copy and paste.

My friend's house stinks because he lives downwind from a milk processing firm.

Everything smells like dairy air.

How do Japanese people learn to say milk in English?

Dairy practice.

Vermont farmer

A texas cattle rancher came to visit a Vermont dairy farm. He gets a tour of the 10 acre farm, and says to the Vermont farmer "This farm aint nothin, my ranch back in texas is so big, it would take us 3 days just to drive my truck around the whole property". The Vermont farmer responds "yup I had a truck like that once"

You know why the 2 piece bathing suit was invented?

To separate the dairy section from meat section...

Why are dairy farmers non-monogamous?

They see udders.

What does a dairy farm smell like?


I was walking down the street the other day minding my own business.

When out of nowhere a man ran up to me and attacked me with some milk and cheese.

How dairy!

Some guy threw milk at me today.

How dairy.

Where do cow farts come from?

Their dairy air.

Where do cows fart from?

Their dairy air

A woman calls her local dairy, telling them she wants to order enough milk to take a milk bath...

You want the milk pasteurized?

No, just up to my tits.

Hey! He stole my milk!

How dairy!

So, this dairy farmer takes his son out to learn about milking for the first time.

After he shows how to pull on the udders and fill the bucket, he says, "Now son, we have to dip your head in the milk to make it safe to drink."
The boy is confused and asks, "You've gotta dunk my whole head in the milk to be safe, Pa?"
The dairy farmer says, "No, son, no..."

"Just past your eyes."

What do you call an Epic Cow?

Legend Dairy

Can you believe a man just assaulted me with milk, cream and butter...

How dairy!

Some guy threw a gallon of milk at my head

How dairy

I met a sorceress in the desert once

She told me I could have all the churned dairy products and preserved fruit I could ever want, but first I had to marry her and sign a legally binding agreement that she would get it all back if we ever got divorced

Until that day I'd never believed the legends of the prenup butter and jelly sand witch

Just saw a guy punch a cow in the face

How dairy

was at a restaurant the other day and overheard this conversation. Customer: "I don't eat honey, eggs, cheese, dairy or any meat products. What can I get?"

Waiter: "You can get the hell out of here"

What did the dairy farmers say when they saw godzilla?


A dairy farmer got thrown out of the comedy club last night.

They said his jokes were too cheesy

Dairy Queen should have had a Harry Potter promotion.

You're a blizzard Dairy.

Why does the Dairy Queen have small fries?

Because the Burger King forgets to wrap his Whopper!

In Wisconsin a woman donated a kidney to a dairy farmer and he was so grateful he agreed to marry her. The preacher said: what God has joined let no man put asunder. The groom interrupted: what's asunder?

The preacher said apart. The farmer said a part of what? Apart from your wife said the now frustrated minister. The groom said shit! I already got a part from her.

What do you call a ship carrying dairy cows?

A Galleon of Milk

A guy limped into a Dairy Queen and ordered a banana split.

The attendant began to make it for him and said "Crushed nuts?" And the guy said, No, I just have a bad knee."

What is the dairy farmer's favorite Disney movie?


Some guy just threw a gallon of milk at me!

How dairy

This was udderly dumb, I should stop milking this

A Dairy Farmer got into the healthy Oat Milk business.

He *barley* made ends meet.

What do you call a gay cow?

Dairy Queen

Why Do You Never See Camels Going To School With Cows?

Because they don't want to put up with that drama dairy.

(My wife came up with this, don't hate me.)

What's The Difference Between A Breeze On A Cattle Farm And A Frenchman's Buttocks?

One is dairy air, and the other is derriere.

The lobby of my local Dairy Queen was closed due to short staff.

They should've hired taller employees

(Joke brought to you by my 9yo sister)

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the dairy milk jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working dairy provolone piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes