Dairy Jokes

Following is our collection of cow puns and cheddar one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Dairy jokes for adults, dirty farm jokes and clean edam dad gags for kids.

The Best Dairy Puns

My brother just threw a milk carton at me

How dairy.

What do you call a gay milkman?

A dairy queen.

A man threw a milk bottle at me today

How dairy

A woman calls her local dairy, telling them she wants to order enough milk to take a milk bath...

You want the milk pasteurized?

No, just up to my tits.

A man just assaulted me with milk, butter and cheese

How dairy

This guy just threw milk on me!

How dairy....

How do Japanese people learn to say milk in English?

Dairy practice.

Today marks 5 weeks of isolation...

I'm walking 2 miles a day, no meat, dairy or flour. Eating fresh vegetables and home cooked meals every day. The change has been fantastic! I feel great!

Zero alcohol, a healthy diet, gluten free, caffeine free, sugar free and a 1 hour home workout each day! Lost 20 lbs and gained muscle mass. I've even cut my screen time in half and am reading a book a week.

I have no idea who wrote this, but I am really proud of them so I decided to copy and paste.

Did you hear about the farmer that failed dairy farming school?

He didn't work well with udders.

You know why the 2 piece bathing suit was invented?

To separate the dairy section from meat section...

How often does an oriental farmer milk his cows?


Why did the Dairy Queen get pregnant?

The Burger King forgot to wrap his whopper

A penguin notices his car is leaking fluid...

so he takes it to the closest garage. Mechanic says he'll check it out, and to come back in a half hour. The penguin sees a Dairy Queen, strolls over, and buys himself a vanilla cone. Being a penguin, without hands, he makes quite a mess, getting ice cream all over himself. When he gets back to check on his car, the mechanic looks up, shakes his head, and says, "Looks like you blew a seal." The penguin replies, "Na, it's just ice cream."

I walked out my house this morning...

And a man threw milk and cheese at me.

I thought, How dairy?

A man robbed me of all my milk, cream, cheese, and butter.

How dairy..

I was walking down the road...

...when the guy in front of me turned around and started throwing milk, eggs, yoghurt and butter at me.

I thought, "How dairy!".

What did the lactose intolerant guy say after having a glass of milk?

Please excuse my dairy air

I met a sorceress in the desert once

She told me I could have all the churned dairy products and preserved fruit I could ever want, but first I had to marry her and sign a legally binding agreement that she would get it all back if we ever got divorced

Until that day I'd never believed the legends of the prenup butter and jelly sand witch

Whats the difference between a dairy farm and a McDonalds.

You'll get arrested if you try to milk the cows at McDonalds.

My brother just hit me with a milk carton

How dairy

How often did the asian cow go to the gym?


Man just attacked me with milk, cream and butter

How dairy.

Man, some dude just poured a gallon of milk all over me

How dairy!

Went to the shop earlier today, saw a man throwing all the milk, cheese, yoghurt etc

I thought to myself...

"How dairy?".

So, this dairy farmer takes his son out to learn about milking for the first time.

After he shows how to pull on the udders and fill the bucket, he says, "Now son, we have to dip your head in the milk to make it safe to drink."
The boy is confused and asks, "You've gotta dunk my whole head in the milk to be safe, Pa?"
The dairy farmer says, "No, son, no..."

"Just past your eyes."

So I was walking past my local supermarket the other day and a man started to throw cheese, butter and milk at me.

How dairy.

Hey! He stole my milk!

How dairy!

What does Activision and a Dairy worker have in common?

They both love milking.

This guy came at me with a bottle of milk.

How dairy

What do you call the work of a famous cow?

Legend Dairy

Why didn't the burger king get the dairy queen pregnant?

Because the whopper always comes in a wrapper!

Vegans don't beat their meat

They beat their "0% dairy all organic tofu"

Dear Dairy,

Today I found out I have dyslexia.

What do you call an Epic Cow?

Legend Dairy

An evangelical dairy farmer stopped by my house on Sunday

He wanted to talk about Cheeses.

If Dairy Queen and Burger King had a baby, what do you call it?

Restaurants can't have sex you moron.

Some guy threw a gallon of milk at my head

How dairy

Can you believe a man just assaulted me with milk, cream and butter...

How dairy!

This might be hard for some people to digest...


"Hey bro, so I just got diagnosed with a dairy allergy."

"No whey, man."

A man just attacked me with cheese and milk

How dairy

What do you call an Arabic dairy farmer?

A milk sheikh.

I was turned into butter once.

It's dairy important to me, it was a churning point in my life and I think I'm a butter man now

Why don't dairy farmers wear flip flops?

Because they lactose.

What is the dairy farmer's favorite exercise?

Calf Raises.

A cow joke

Our professor started our lecture on ketosis of dairy cows by telling us about an exciting new research project at our veterinary school's dairy facility. They are working with NASA to launch some cows into outer space to orbit the earth. The title of the project is The herd shot round the world.

Where do cows fart from?

Their dairy air

How did Dairy Queen wind up pregnant?

Burger King didn't wrap his Whopper

My housemate threw milk on me...

how dairy.

Some guy threw milk at me today.

How dairy.

Did you hear about the man who killed a cow?

How dairy.

My friend stole cheese from my cheese collection

How dairy

Me and my best friend went to the local supermarket...

He started to throw the milk and cheese all over the aisle. I thought, how dairy?

Spilt milk

I hate how every time I come home and go to the kitchen my flat mate has spilled milk everywhere. How dairy

I was drinking my milkshake on a cliff and thought to myself...

Wow, this is ledge 'n dairy!

What is Thanos' favorite dairy product?

Half and Half

Did you hear about the terrorist attack on the dairy / cow farm?

It was an udder disaster.

Vermont farmer

A texas cattle rancher came to visit a Vermont dairy farm. He gets a tour of the 10 acre farm, and says to the Vermont farmer "This farm aint nothin, my ranch back in texas is so big, it would take us 3 days just to drive my truck around the whole property". The Vermont farmer responds "yup I had a truck like that once"

I just drove by an abandoned Dairy Queen.

I guess you could say it was *dessert*ed

My hayfever makes me sneeze like my dairy intolerance makes me fart.

I hate my analogies.

A man just threw a glass of milk at me......

how dairy?!?!

Shout out ATH

Where do cow farts come from?

Their dairy air.

Why was two piece swimsuit invented?

To separate the hairy from the dairy.

Did you guys hear about the fruit and dairy tycoon from the middle East?

We call him the Banana Milk Sheikh

I hope puns are okay.

If you live downwind from a milk processing plant, everything smells like dairy air.

I was walking down the street the other day minding my own business.

When out of nowhere a man ran up to me and attacked me with some milk and cheese.

How dairy!

What does a dairy farm smell like?


What do you call a religious dairy farmer?

Cheesus Christ

Why are dairy farmers non-monogamous?

They see udders.

My friend's house stinks because he lives downwind from a milk processing firm.

Everything smells like dairy air.

What do you call a milkman wearing high heeled shoes...?

A Dairy Queen.

Why do cow farms stink?

They're full of dairy airs.

I was walking down the road and some guy tipped a whole carton of milk on me...

How dairy

Not your dairy insect

An ant was walking around when it found a 5inch ant of his very same species:

- Why are youso big, it asked
- I drink a lot of milk

"Lactose in taller ant"

Cheese & Milk

Just as I was getting home last night a guy hit me with a block of cheese.

I thought that wasn't very mature.

He then ran over and pour milk all over my head.

I thought HOW DAIRY!!!

An Arab prince acquires a dairy farm

He's known far and wide as the Milk Sheikh

Why is Dairy Queen always in a bad mood?

Because she's married to Mister Softee.

A guy spilt his cup of milk on me

How dairy!

Dear Dairy

There sure are a lot of cows around here.

A man threw milk at an old woman before...

I said how dairy

An old man threw a carton of milk at me today.

How bloody dairy.

What did the cow say to the other cow when she found out the bull was cheating on her?

How Dairy

When I was in China, everybody always told jokes about cow's milk.

I would hear them on a dairy basis.

A man just came up and threw milk in my face.

How dairy.

What do you call a milkman in high heels?

Dairy Queen

What do you call a dairy cow who doesn't produce any milk? (OC)

An utter disappointment

There is an abundance of milk jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 86 funniest jokes and dairy puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any provolone witze you can hear about dairy.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

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