Daily New Jokes
9 daily new jokes and hilarious daily new puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about daily new that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Comical Daily New Jokes to Spread Joy and Laughter
What is a good daily new joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
One for $1, three for $4
A man is walking up to a coffee stand to get his daily cup of coffee for $1, when he notices their new special where you can buy three cups for $4.
I'd like a cup of coffee, said the man, handing in a dollar bill.
He realizes he can cheat the system by buying two more cups of coffee, and saving a dollar. I'd like two more cups, please, he said, handing in another $2.
Afterward, he asks the guy in the stand, Why are you selling three cups of coffee for $4 when you could buy three separate cups for $3?
To which the stand dude replied, you could've just bought one cup like you do every day.
King Charles has authorised a new Royal Ceremony that the Guards regiments will perform anytime that Prince Harry is in the country.
It will be called "The Changing of the Locks"
(with thanks to Matt, of the Daily Telegraph)
Chase releases new feature option to have your balance text to you daily
I just wish they didn't add "lol" at the end of it.
I downloaded this new app. It's great, it tells you what to wear, what to eat, what's unhealthy and if you've put on weight.
It's called the Daily Mail
This new daily fiber regimen has really helped with my regularity issues. Now, every day at 5am I take a big ol' stinky p**....
I just wish I could get out of bed before 6am.
Did you hear what toothpaste brands are trying to cover up?
Well, it's quite the scandal. Various tabloids such as the New York Post and Daily Mail are coining it as Colgate.
A man was shopping for a new bird
He had decided on buying a cockatoo, and the woman at the register asked him if he was sure it was the bird he wanted to buy.
Cockatoos are very needy, and they require a lot of attention and care. They can be very fussy and they can screech likes there's no tomorrow if you don't give them what they want.
Really, that's all? I'm already used to that on a daily basis. The man responded simply with a smile.
Oh? The woman asked, confused.
I have a wife.
Haven't done that in a year..
A Dad wakes up and starts making breakfast on New Years Day. The son comes down to the kitchen and as the Dad serves him eggs he goes:
"Morning son, it looks like you haven't eaten all year."
The son scowls at the terrible Dad joke and digs into his eggs. The daughter comes down to the breakfast table and the Dad pours her a glass of orange juice:
"Good morning Daughter, you must be thirsty. It looks like you haven't had anything all year. "
both children scowl and continue their breakfast. The wife finally comes down to the table and as she sits down the father rolls some sausages on to her plate.
"Good morning Wif--"
The son interupts:
"OKAY DAD WE GET IT. TAKE A DAILY ACTIVITY, SAY YOU HAVEN'T DONE IT IN A YEAR- NOT FUNNY"
The Dad calmly keeps serving breakfast and says:
"Son, I was just telling your Mother to enjoy her sausages. The joke wouldn't work since this would be her second serving today."
There was a runner...
He was the fastest man in the world, and promised to all the chefs in the world that if they could bring him his favorite kind of hot dog while he was on his daily jog, then he would give them free running lessons.
Hundreds of chefs attempted to give him the best recipe after catching him, yet they all failed.
Finally, a humble chef from New York decided to try out. He made his hot dog for this runner and caught up to him.
As soon as the runner took a bite, he was amazed. It WAS the best dog he'd ever eaten. He then asked the chef how he knew the recipe and was able to catch up to him.
The chef was surprised, thinking it was obvious and responded, "Well, I just took my thyme and mustard the energy to ketchup!"
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