Following is our collection of funny Dad jokes. There are some dad grandma jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these dad brother puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
I heard he made a mint.
...for $10.00 worth of Bitcoin currency.
Dad: $9.67? What do you need $10.32 for?
Too close for comfort food!
Hebrews it.
No son, have you seen my dad glasses?
Well, I'm not going to spread it!
Mom: *Stares at Dad*
Dad: *Clenches fist*
Mom: "Don't!"
Dad: *Sweats Profusely*
Mom: "..."
Dad: "HI GAY, I'M DAD"
Turns out, identity theft is a crime.
Son: Dad... how many kidneys do I have?
Me: Two. You have two, son.
Son: Nope... I have four. *point to belly* Two kidneys here... *points to legs* ...and two kid knees here!
The student has become the teacher.
Y'know, one would have been enough.
Son: Dad you were a helicopter mechanic
Dad:Never said I was a good one
You can explore dad granddad reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean dad stepmother dad jokes. There are also dad puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Nothing, they fast.
So I took down his confederate flag.
So the dad replied, "Do you see those four trees? Well, an alcoholic would see eight."
The son replied, "But Dad, I only see two."
Me: Hi Pregnant, I'm Dad.
Wife: No you're not.
All the slides were just pictures of me.
I was like, 0mg
The Invisible Man
"Because your mum loves easter and it's an anagram of easter !"
"Thanks dad !"
"No problem Alan"
All of them.
Because he couldn't see that well!
50 Cent featuring Nickelback.
Well, a dad joke meets yo momma joke and then they knock knock.
"No, just leave it in the carton! "
P. S. thanks for the 4 people who sort by new. appreciate it.
The father says it means happy to his son, to which the son replies "Dad are you gay?" The father laughs and says "no son I have a wife".
Grandson, watch how far I can kick this bucket.
But when he donates that much money to Texas, it's a yuuuge contribution
Her: the baby sure is taking his time getting his meal in
Me: yeah he is really milking it
As he died, he kept insisting for us to "be positive," but it's hard without him
Father: "Ask your sister.
Daughter: "I don't have a si-"
We've updated our privacy policy
Great food, no atmosphere
Da brie is everywhere!
"Don't call me son," I said. "You're not my dad."
He scratched his head. "No, but I brought you up, didn't I?"
No sun
Anyway, my dad just caught me masturbating
He said, "Son, in college you're going to be surrounded by beautiful girls, so I got you something from the chemist."
"Dad," I said, "I have condoms."
And he said, "You won't need condoms, I got you some anti-depressants."
"Hey Dad."
"Yes son?"
"Did you ever get shot in the army?"
He looks at his son in silence. Tears start to form in the Dad's eyes, and he quietly replies;
"No, but I was shot in the leggy."
European.
It was two tired!
Sure, like my son is going to marry someone twice his age...
**Her:** "Do you know any jokes?"
**Me:** "No."
**Her:** "I'll teach you one."
"Knock! Knock!"
**Me:** "Who's there?"
**Her:** "Ash."
"Now ask, Ash: who?"
**Me:** "Ash: who?"
**Her:** "Please cover your mouth when you sneeze."
**Me: rekt**
It's called Czech-Mate.
A satisfactory!
I told him, - Mark, my words!
Father: It means 'to be happy'.
Son: Are you gay?
Father: No, son. I have a wife.
* "Hey dad, why is my sister named rose?"
* "Because your other dad loves roses"
* "Thanks dad"
* "No problem, Richard"
Dad: "Not yet. We still haven't found anyone who wants you."
I was a huge fan of Led Zeppelin, the father replies.
Who? the son asks.
Yeah, the dad responds, I liked them too.
"Yes, we arson."
He always wanted to be a multimillionaire too.
Attire!
Wow, your dad's a millionaire?
No, but he always wanted to be.
Good thymes.
I'm a faux pa.
The doctor asks him - How long have you suffered from that condition?
The guy tells him - Since next Monday.
Mount Rushmore.
WIFE: I have a couple of important announcements... First: I'm pregnant.
HUSBAND: Hi Pregnant, I'm dad
WIFE: Second: No you're not
Must be why I'm an only child
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the dad son jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working dad father piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.