Dad Jokes

• Short Dad Jokes
• Dad One Liners
• My Dad Jokes
• No Dad Jokes
• Dad And Son Jokes
• Mom And Dad Jokes
• More Dad Jokes

Best Short Dad Jokes

These are our top dad puns. Have fun with a good dad joke in English with simple dad humour.

1. A boy asked his Bitcoin-investing dad... ...for $10.00 worth of Bitcoin currency.
   Dad: $9.67? What do you need $10.32 for?
2. What do you call a mac 'n' cheese that gets all up in your face? Too close for comfort food!
3. Son: "Mom, Dad, I'm gay." Mom: *Stares at Dad*
   Dad: *Clenches fist*
   Mom: "Don't!"
   Dad: *Sweats Profusely*
   Mom: "..."
   Dad: "HI GAY, I'M DAD"
   
4. When I was a kid, my mother told me I could be anyone I wanted to be. Turns out, identity theft is a crime.
5. As I handed my dad his 50th birthday card, he looked at me with tears in his eyes and said Y'know, one would have been enough.
6. Son In iraq I killed 15 people. Son: Dad you were a helicopter mechanic
   Dad:Never said I was a good one
7. My dad said people shouldn't get ribbons just for participating because it rewards them for losing. So I took down his confederate flag.
8. The son went to his dad and asked him, "Dad, what's an alcoholic?" So the dad replied, "Do you see those four trees? Well, an alcoholic would see eight."
   The son replied, "But Dad, I only see two."
9. Last night I had a dream that I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram. I was like, 0mg
10. "Hey dad why is my sister called Teresa ?" "Because your mum loves easter and it's an anagram of easter !"
    "Thanks dad !"
    "No problem Alan"

Make fun with this list of one liners, gags and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor found in these dad jokes can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of dad puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, these jokes offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Dad One Liners

Which dad dad jokes are funny enough to crack down and make fun with dad?

1. Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? I heard he made a mint.
2. How does moses make his coffee? Hebrews it.
3. Hey Dad, have you seen my sunglasses? No son, have you seen my dad glasses?
4. Did you hear the rumor about butter? Well, I'm not going to spread it!
5. Dads are like boomerangs. I hope.
6. What do sprinters eat before a race? Nothing, they fast.
7. Wife: I'm pregnant. Me: Hi Pregnant, I'm Dad.
   Wife: No you're not.
8. As a child, I always thought of my dad as a superhero The Invisible Man
9. How many apples grow on a tree? All of them.
10. Why did the old man fall in the well? Because he couldn't see that well!
11. What concert costs just 45 cents? 50 Cent featuring Nickelback.
12. Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere
13. A cheese factory exploded in France. Da brie is everywhere!
14. Dad can you explain to me what a solar eclipse is No sun
15. What happens when you go to the bathroom in France? European.

My Dad Jokes

Here is a list of funny my dad jokes and even better my dad puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Where do little jokes come from? Well, a dad joke meets yo momma joke and then they knock knock.
  
• A child asks his father what "gay" means The father says it means happy to his son, to which the son replies "Dad are you gay?" The father laughs and says "no son I have a wife".
• Having homosexual parents must be terrible Either you have double dosage of dad jokes or you are stuck in cycle of go ask your mom
• Do you know the last thing my grandfather said to me before he kicked the bucket? Grandson, watch how far I can kick this bucket.
• When Trump borrows $1,000,000 from his dad it's a small loan But when he donates that much money to Texas, it's a yuuuge contribution
  
• Wife was breastfeeding Her: the baby sure is taking his time getting his meal in
  Me: yeah he is really milking it
  
• My dad died last year when my family couldn't remember his blood type in time for paramedics to save him As he died, he kept insisting for us to "be positive," but it's hard without him
• Daughter: "Hey dad, how do you feel about abortion?" Father: "Ask your sister.
  Daughter: "I don't have a si-"
• My son came home as I was taking his door off it's hinges and asked Dad what are you doing?
  We've updated our privacy policy
• Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired!

No Dad Jokes

Here is a list of funny no dad jokes and even better no dad puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• I'm starting a new dating service in Prague. It's called Czech-Mate.
• What do you call a factory that sells passable products? A satisfactory!
• I was really angry at my friend Mark for stealing my dictionary. I told him, - Mark, my words!
• A boy asks his father Dad, what does 'gay' mean? Father: It means 'to be happy'.
  Son: Are you gay?
  Father: No, son. I have a wife.
• Gay parents are awesome! * "Hey dad, why is my sister named rose?"
  * "Because your other dad loves roses"
  * "Thanks dad"
  * "No problem, Richard"
• Son: "Dad, Am I adopted"? Dad: "Not yet. We still haven't found anyone who wants you."
• "Dad. Are we pyromaniacs?" "Yes, we arson."
• I always wanted to be a multimillionaire, just like my dad. He always wanted to be a multimillionaire too.
• What's the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well-dressed man on a bicycle? Attire!
• I want to be a millionaire just like my dad!! Wow, your dad's a millionaire?
  No, but he always wanted to be.

Dad And Son Jokes

Here is a list of funny dad and son jokes and even better dad and son puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Son, I killed 12 people in Afghanistan Son: Dad you were a cook.
  Dad:Never said I was a good one
• My son asked me, Dad, can we watch Spider Man—Far from Home tonight? I said, Why? It is the same movie if you watch it nearby.
• A man is washing his car with his son... ...after a while the boy says to his Father Dad, why can't we just use a sponge?
• "Son, I wanted to let you know you were adopted," my dad told me. "Are you kidding? Really?" I shouted.
  "Yup, get ready," he said. "They'll be picking you up in about an hour."
• Today my son asked me, Dad are we pyromaniacs? I replied: yes, we arson.
• A man is washing his car with his son. The son asks: "Dad, can't you just use a sponge?"
• "Remember, son, a smart person always has doubts about something. Only a total idiot can be 100% sure about everything." "Dad, are you sure?"
  "Absolutely."
• Son: why is my sister called Teresa? Dad: Coz your mum loves Easter - it's an anagram
  Son: Thanks dad
  Dad: No problem Alan
• Dad joke..... Dad: what are you drinking, son?
  Son: Soy Milk
  Dad: Hola Milk, soy padre
• A boy asked his father, "Dad, what does gay mean?" "It means happy son." Replied the father.
  Then the boy asked, "Then Dad, are you gay?"
  "No son, I am married." the father replied.

Mom And Dad Jokes

Here is a list of funny mom and dad jokes and even better mom and dad puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• I feel sad for people with gay parents They either get twice the number of dad jokes or are stuck in the infinite loop of 'ask mom'
• Having gay parents must be horrible You either get twice the usual amount of dad jokes or get stuck in an infinite loop of "go ask your mom"
• My dad was always drunk when I was a kid The punchline?
  It was my mom, then my sister, then me
• having gay parents must be awful Either 2 times the normal amount of dad jokes, or you get stuck in a loop of go ask your mom.
• This Mother's Day, my dad got a new car for my mom. He said it was the best trade he's ever made
• I said to my parents, "Mom, dad... I've decided to live on my own from now on." "Okay, that's fine." they replied.
  I added, "Your luggage is outside."
• What do Bernie Sanders supporters call their roommates? Mom & Dad
• Son: Mom, Dad, I'm gay Mom: *looks at Dad*
  Dad: *clenches fist*
  Mom: don't you dare!
  Dad: hi gay, I'm Dad!
• TIL that I was born exactly 9 months after my Dad's 32nd birthday... and my mom gives awful birthday gifts.
• My parents decided the key to a successful marriage is going out to a fancy restaurant twice a week. My dad goes out Mondays and my mom goes out Fridays.

Hilarious Dad Jokes for a Fun-Filled Night with Friends

What funny jokes about dad to tell and make people laugh ? Check out these list of good jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make dad prank.

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