The Best 23 Dad Glasses Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Dad Glasses jokes. There are some dad glasses goddam jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these dad glasses autopilot puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Dad Glasses Jokes and Puns

Hey Dad, have you seen my sunglasses?

No son, have you seen my dad glasses?

How much do you weigh, dad?

Dad: 80 kg. with my glasses on.
Child: How much do you weigh without your glasses?
Dad: I don't know. I can't see.

A man wanted to teach his sons the evils of alcohol

So he takes out two glasses. Fills one with bourbon and one with water.

He puts A worm in the bourbon and a worm in the water. Worm in the water lives, worm in the bourbon dies.

He turns to his son and say "now what does that teach you about the evils of alcohol?"

His son thought about it for a second and says "well if I drink bourbon I won't get worms"

-my dad tells this one to at least one person every time he goes into a liquor store-

Son is asking his dad for money to buy new glasses

Son: Dad my glasses broke i need new one

Dad: Get a job and buy them yourself. What do i look like, a bank?

Son: I don't know i can't f*cking see!

What colour bricks?

Not sure if this has been posted before but oh well.

My Granddad told me this when I was smaller (Yes, he is still alive) .
Sorry for the horrible (Grand)dad joke!

If a red house has red bricks , a yellow house has yellow bricks, what colour bricks does a green house have?

None, a green house is made out of glass.


Jimmy's First Cow

One fine morning on the family farm, Jimmy excitedly ran into the house with a glass of milk. He can't wait to show his father so he runs into the living room.

He shouts "Hey dad! I just milked my first cow!" while proudly holding up the glass of milk and then chugging the entire thing.

His dad stares at him horrified and says "But son... we don't have a cow, we have a bull"

A young boy and his father are walking through a park when they see two dogs doing the dirty.


Boy: "Daddy, what are they doing?"
Dad: "Oh...uh...they're just making a puppy."
Later that night daddy and mommy put the boy to sleep and go off to their bedroom. After a couple glasses of wine they get at it. Suddenly the door opens and their son is standing at the foot of the bed.
Boy: "Daddy, what are you and mommy doing?"
Dad: "Oh...We're just making a baby."
Boy: "Well turn mommy over because I want a puppy."

Before I could take a drink of my milk, my dad snatched the glass from in front of me, held it just to the side of my head and slowly moved it from one side of my face to the other. There, it's safe to drink now , he said....

It's been past your eyes

He's been gone for almost 20 years, and I still remember the dad jokes like they were perfectly executed yesterday.

Father and son

A father sends his kid to bed. Five minutes later, the boy screams, "Dad! Can you get me a glass of water?"

The dad says, "No. You had your chance."

A minute later the boy screams, "Dad! Can you get me a glass of water?"

The dad says, "No. You had your chance. Next time you ask, I'll come up there and spank you."

"Dad! When you come up to spank me, can you bring me a glass or water?"

I told my friend, "My dad's a glass half-full kind of guy."

He said, "Oh! He's an optimist?"

"No he has Parkinson's Disease."

The earliest memory I have is going with my dad to get prescription glasses.

Life before that is a blur.

You can explore dad glasses goddamnit reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean dad glasses damnit dad jokes. There are also dad glasses puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


A joke my dad just sent me about vaccinations

Hi, it happened yesterday! And this is serious!

A friend had his 2nd injection of the vaccine at the vaccination center and began to have blurred vision the whole way home.

When he got home, he called the vaccination center for advice and to ask if he should go see a doctor, or be hospitalized.

Vaccination center told him to come back - and collect his glasses.

Donations

Son: "Dad, there is someone at the door to collect donations
for a community swimming pool."
Father: "Okay, give him a glass of water."

Worming

Will was trying to teach his young son the evils of alcohol. He put one worm in a glass of water and another worm in a glass of whisky. The worm in the water lived, while the one in the whisky curled up and died.

'All right, son', asked Will, 'what does that show you?'

'Well, Dad, it shows that if you drink alcohol, you will not have worms.'

"Hey Dad, have you seen my sunglasses?"

"Nope. Have you seen my dad glasses?"

It wasn't worth it to ask him if he had any sunscreen...

So when my friends ask me what my prescription is for my glasses...

I would always say I don't know.
So I asked my dad what my prescription was so now when someone asks me what it is I say,

My dad said my prescription is I don't know.

So my dad accidentally left his glasses in the fridge...

When he found out, I said "I guess you just wanted to look cool."

Max the camel walks into his parents' room at 2am and asks for a glass of water.

His dad says, "Another one? That's the second glass this month."

What do you call a dad who sexually identifies as glass?

Transparent


Little Johnny's neighbour had a baby.



Unfortunately, the baby was born without ears.

When mother and new baby came home from the hospital, Johnny's family was invited over to see the baby.

Before they left their house, Little Johnny's dad had a talk with him and explained that the baby had no ears.

His dad also told him that if he so much mentioned anything about the baby's missing ears or even said the word ears, he would get the smacking of his life when they came back home.

Little Johnny told his dad he understood completely.

When Johnny looked in the crib he said: "What a beautiful baby."

The mother said, 'Why, Thank you Johnny."

Johnny said: "He has beautiful little feet, beautiful little hands, a cute little nose and really beautiful eyes. Can he see all right?"

"Yes", the mother replied, "we are so thankful; the Doctor said he will have 20/20 Vision."

"That's great", said Little Johnny, "cos he'd be f*cked if he needed glasses!"

I saw my dad staring at a glass of juice one night

I went to bed and the next morning he offered me the juice, "What is it?" I asked.
He replies "It's orange juice, from concentrate."

Why did the Dad need his glasses to watch the Golden State Warriors play?

Steph Blurry

Dad you found your glasses an hour ago why are you still looking?

Because they are always in the last place I look and that ends today.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the dad glasses doggone jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working dad glasses fricking piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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