Czech Jokes

Following is our collection of lithuanian puns and slovakia one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Czech jokes for adults, dirty polish jokes and clean hungary dad gags for kids.

The Best Czech Puns

I have a Russian friend who's a sound technician

And a Czech one too.
A Czech one too.

I'm starting a new dating service in Prague.

It's called Czech-Mate.

I have a Polish friend who is an audio engineer

and a Czech one too. Czech one too.

I have a Russian friend who's a sound technician ...

I have a Czech one, too.

I married a European chess master.

He's my Czech mate.


What do you call a country that doesn't use credit cards?

A Czech Republic

What country does not accept cash or credit cards?

The Czech Republic

I played chess with my friend from Central Europe.

Czech mate.

What would Hitler's invasion of Czechoslovakia be called if it was done by Gen Z's?

Vibe Czech

I have an Eastern European friend who fixes my language mistakes...

My personal spell Czech.

My band used to have a Polish sound guy.

And we also had a Czech one, too.


Czech and a Mexican

A Czechoslovakian and a Mexican go camping, while they were in the woods the Czech gets eaten by a bear. So the Mexican runs to find the park ranger and says "park ranger a bear ate my friend"
The park ranger and the Mexican find two bears, a male and a female. The park ranger asked the Mexican which ate his friend he points to the male and the ranger kills him and guts him there are no remains of the Czech man in the bear. Moral of the story never trust a Mexican when he says the Check is in the male

A tourist is eaten by a python at the zoo.

Two tourists from the Czech republic are visiting New York. At the zoo, one leans forward, trying to get real close to the pythons. He falls down into the enclosure and is quickly swallowed whole.


Panicking, the other guy runs up to a caretaker and cries out for help. The caretaker asks him: "Which of these pythons ate your friend, the male or the female one?"


"That one! That one!", exclaims the Czech, pointing at the male snake, bloated with its stomach full. The caretaker runs up behind the satiated snake, cuts it open and pulls out ... a feeder pig.


"Oh no, it must have been the other one", yells the tourist. So the keeper cuts open the female snake, and sure enough, out comes the tourist.


In the end, the tourist could be revived, and miraculously, both snakes managed to live through the events, but there's still a lesson to be learned here: Never trust someone who tells you the Czech is in the male.

What do you call your friend from Prague who beat you at chess?

Your Czech mate

My Czech mate is surprisingly bad at chess

Two men are playing chess in Australia

One guy asks "What's your ethnicity?"

As he knocks over the king, the other guy responds "Czech, mate"

I have a Polish friend who is roadie for a rock band

I have a Czech one too.
Czech one too. Czech one too.

(Real Story) All of a sudden, my Steam language was set to Russian.

I was changing it back to English, when my hand slipped. But it's okay, now. I have everything in Czech.

A Slovak oligarch, Japanese nationalist, communist and a pirate meet in a parliament...

This isn't a joke. It's Czech Republic.


Why can it be so annoying to drive a Skoda?

The Czech engine light is always on.

I met a Slavic feminist once.

She told me to Czech my privilege.

I have a Polish friend who has a job as a sound engineer...

I have a Czech one too...

What happens when your friend from Prague topples over?

You right a Czech.

If Britain has Brexit...

Did the Czech Republic check-out?

How do people in Prague solve Algebra equations?

Guess and Czech.

Ever been to Prague

You gotta Czech it out

A guy walks down the street and carries an urn in his arms.

A cannibal goes around him and says, "Daamn, where'd you get instant?



(Translated from Czech)

A Czechoslovakian and a Russian go bear hunting.

When they hadn't returned for several days, a search party was dispatched.

The search party followed the two men's tracks until they stopped at two dead brown bears, a male and a female.

They cut open the female, and sure enough, there was the Russian.

They didn't bother with the second bear, because they just assumed the Czech was in the male.

After a flood of forged financial documents from a small eastern european country, an urgent warning was issued by banks worldwide

CHECK CZECH CHEQUES

About to play chess with a good friend from Prague

Czech mate

I recently became friends with someone from Central Europe

We met at a Chess tournament and I've never once beaten him in a game.

He's my Czech mate

My friends are baffled that I gave up the single life for my European wife and wonder why I don't chase girls anymore.

It's because she keeps me in Czech.

I made a friend at this chess club in Prague

Czech mate

Just made this one up...

My uncle recently ordered a mail order bride from the Czech Republic. The Czech is in the mail.

~I'll let myself out...

I've got a friend from Prague who is really good at chess

He's my Czech mate.

My Grandmaster Friend is getting married to his Slav girlfriend tomorrow

He found his Czech mate

Why do Czechoslovakian kids do well in math?

They double Czech everything!

Who is the chess player's dream companion?

A *Czech Mate*

It is interesting how different nations have their dogs make different sounds. An American dog goes Woof, a Czech dog goes Haf, a Dutch dog goes Blaf.

and a Chinese dog goes Sizzle

There is this guy from the Czech Republic that plays chess with his Austrian friend.

Czech mate.

I used to work in an eastern european fraud office.

I had to check czech cheques.

I run a mail order bride service based out of Prague.

I had a customer call and complain the other day about his order not arriving. It was alright though, I just reassured him that his Czech was in the mail.

Why are the best accountants twins from Prague?

Because they always double Czech their work!

I can never remember where Prague is...

I always have to Czech.

My friend from Prague finally got his US citizenship approved...

He is a cancelled Czech now.

cats

There's a new dating app for cats in Prague...

it's called Czech Meowt

How does an Australian call his friend from the Czech Republic?

Czechmate

How did the British prevent war with the Germans in 1938?

They wrote them a Czech.

What do you call an abortion in the Czech Republic?

A cancelled Czech

The problem with driving a Yugo...

... is that the Czech engine light is always on.

What do you get from a malfunctioning Skoda?

A Czech engine light

Germany and the Czech Republic have left the EU to form their own fully integrated economy.

Their currency is called the ✓

I know this Russian sound-tech who's really great.

And a Czech one too.... And a Czech one too.

A Czech lady told me this joke...

Her: "What do you call a person who speaks 3 languages?"

Me: "Trilingual."

Her: "What do you a person who speaks two languages?"

Me: "Bilingual"

Her: "What do you call a person who speaks one language?"

Me: ??????

Her: AMERICAN!

I was in a band

One of our roadies was a German man.
There was a Czech one too.
Czech 1-2, Czech 1-2

I'm Hungary

I'm Russian to the kitchen to czech the fridge

There is turkey
But it's covered in Greece
There's Norway I can eat that.

Back when I was in a band I had a roadie that was from Poland

I also had a Czech one too, czech one too

My last trip to Europe reminded me how bad I was at chess

I was beaten by a Czech mate

What's it called when you beat your eastern European friend at strategy board games.

Czech Mate

Which country's people are least likely to use cash?

The Czech Republic.

What happened when the bankrupt eastern european jumped off a building?

The Czech bounced.

Why did the French construct the Maginot Line?

To keep the Nazis in Czech!

I have a Polish friend who's a sound technician.

Oh, and a Czech one too. Czech one too. Czech one too.

I ordered a mail-order bride from the Czech Republic

Czech mate

Guy playing chess with his Central European lover

"Czech and mate"

What do you say when you accidently walk in on your gay slav friend?

The Czech is in the male!

How does the Prague mafia mark its territory?

With a Czech mark

What do Slovakians say when they win a game of chess?

"Czech mate"

What's the most popular kind of music in the Czech Republic?

Prague Rock

"Checkmate"

"No, she's Austrian, but her father was Czech"

I have a Russian friend who is a sound engineer.

I have a Czech one too. I have a Czech one too.

I went to a Slovakian restaurant.

And after all these years, they still gave me a Czech.

A Slovak beats his Czech friend at a game of chess.

Czechmate.

I went to go see Kafkaesque last night...

They're a new Prague Rock band, you should Czech them out

Why do citizens of Prague rarely get scammed?

Because they always double Czech

I have a Polish friend who is a drummer.

And a Czech one too.

A rabbit seeks for his hole in a Czech pub

Apparently all the holes are taken up

What's a bankers Favorite place to go on vacation?

The Czech Republic

A German, An Austrian and a Czech are walking down the street.

A German, An Austrian and a Czech are walking down the street, suddenly the German stops.

"Vait up you guys. I need to slip into ze bank for und moment." says the German. The trio walk towards the bank and the German and the Austrian walk inside. They turn around. The Czech is stood in the doorway.

"Vhat are you vaiting for?" asks the Austrian.

"It says no checks." replies the Czech.

Mein Scherz

Hitler: Are there any Jews left?
Hirohito: I don't know.
Mussolini: I will go Czech.

What do you call traffic in The Czech Republic?

Praguetory

I've never been to Prague...

But I've always wanted to Czech it out!

My new girl friend.

Just got a new Czech girlfriend, but its taken her nearly 5 days to hoover the house. Turns out she's a Slovak.

What did the busdriver say to the police officer, when asked if there were any europeans on the bus?

- I have two czech

How do you borrow a book in Prague?

You Czech it out

There is an abundance of latvian jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 85 funniest jokes and czech puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any czeching witze you can hear about czech.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes