Czech Jokes
144 czech jokes and hilarious czech puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about czech that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Explore typical Czech jokes from good-natured to dark humor, as well as jokes about Slovaks, Slavic, Lithuanian and even surveyors. Laugh along with the Czechs and get to know the culture better.
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Funniest Czech Short Jokes
Short czech jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The czech humour may include short polish jokes also.
- I've just started a new business selling trampoline in Prague Getting a lot of orders, but the Czechs keep bouncing.
- I have a Slovakian friend who's a sound technician. Oh, and a Czech one too. Czech one too. Czech one too.
- I've very recently started a company selling trampolines in Prague… My first Czech bounced.
- I have an Eastern European friend who fixes my language mistakes... My personal spell Czech.
- Have you heard about the curator of the Slavic History exhibit? He's forever Russian around, Czeching that everything gets Polished
- I'm friends with a Chess grandmaster from Prague, but I can't pronounce his name Is it OK if I just call him a Czech mate?
- What do you call your friend from Prague who beat you at chess? Your Czech mate
- A local museum today received a substantial donation of French Impressionist and Eastern European artwork. They're gettin' Monet for nothing and Czechs for free.
- What do you called a verified country? A Czeched Republic
- Did you hear about the guy from Prague wearing armor? The Czech's in the mail.
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Czech One Liners
Which czech one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with czech? I can suggest the ones about czech republic and good czech.
- I have a russian friend who's a sound technician And a Czech one too.
A Czech one too. - I'm starting a new dating service in Prague. It's called Czech-Mate.
- I have a polish friend who is an audio engineer and a Czech one too. Czech one too.
- I have a Russian friend who's a sound technician ... I have a Czech one, too.
- I married a European chess master. He's my Czech mate.
- What do you call a country that doesn't use credit cards? A Czech Republic
- I've never been good at chess. Unlike my Czech mate.
- What country does not accept cash or credit cards? The Czech Republic
- I have a Polish friend who is a sound engineer ... ... and a Czech one too.
- I played chess with my friend from Central Europe. Czech mate.
- Two cannibals walked into a restaurant in Prague They asked for separate Czechs.
- Guess what two cannibals did for dinner in Prague? They split the Czech!
- Made an Eastern European friend on a chess forum. He was my Czech mate.
- My band used to have a Polish sound guy. And we also had a Czech one, too.
- I'm thinking about starting a dating service in Prague I shall call it "Czech-Mate"
Czech Republic Jokes
Here is a list of funny czech republic jokes and even better czech republic puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- A Slovak oligarch, Japanese nationalist, communist and a pirate meet in a parliament... This isn't a joke. It's Czech Republic.
- If Britain has Brexit... Did the Czech Republic check-out?
- Just made this one up... My uncle recently ordered a mail order bride from the Czech Republic. The Czech is in the mail.
~I'll let myself out... - What's a chess player's favorite country? Czech Republic
- There is this guy from the Czech Republic that plays chess with his austrian friend. Czech mate.
- What do you call an abortion in the Czech Republic? A cancelled Czech
- Germany and the Czech Republic have left the EU to form their own fully integrated economy. Their currency is called the ✓
- How does an Australian call his friend from the Czech Republic? Czechmate
- Which country's people are least likely to use cash? The Czech Republic.
- I ordered a mail-order bride from the Czech Republic Czech mate
Good Czech Jokes
Here is a list of funny good czech jokes and even better good czech puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why should you ask a chess grandmaster to help you get a mail-order bride? They're really good at finding a Czech-mate.
- About to play chess with a good friend from Prague Czech mate
- I've got a friend from Prague who is really good at chess He's my Czech mate.
- Why do chess grandmasters use Tinder in Prague? Because every good chess player makes a move for a Czech mate.
- My skoda car is really good at chess... It's czech mate
- I went to Prague recently... I had a really good time. You should Czech it out.
- What do you call a good Central European friend? Czech mate
- Why couldn't the Slovak man get a good job? He had a Czeched past.
Great Czech Jokes to Share, Laugh and Enjoy with Friends
What funny jokes about czech you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean translation jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make czech pranks.
What would h**...'s invasion of Czechoslovakia be called if it was done by Gen Z's?
v**... Czech
A tourist is eaten by a python at the zoo.
Two tourists from the Czech republic are visiting New York. At the zoo, one leans forward, trying to get real close to the pythons. He falls down into the enclosure and is quickly swallowed whole.
Panicking, the other guy runs up to a caretaker and cries out for help. The caretaker asks him: "Which of these pythons ate your friend, the male or the female one?"
"That one! That one!", exclaims the Czech, pointing at the male snake, bloated with its stomach full. The caretaker runs up behind the satiated snake, cuts it open and pulls out ... a feeder pig.
"Oh no, it must have been the other one", yells the tourist. So the keeper cuts open the female snake, and sure enough, out comes the tourist.
In the end, the tourist could be revived, and miraculously, both snakes managed to live through the events, but there's still a lesson to be learned here: Never trust someone who tells you the Czech is in the male.
My new girl friend.
Just got a new Czech girlfriend, but its taken her nearly 5 days to hoover the house. Turns out she's a Slovak.
Czech and a Mexican
A Czechoslovakian and a Mexican go camping, while they were in the woods the Czech gets eaten by a bear. So the Mexican runs to find the park ranger and says "park ranger a bear ate my friend"
The park ranger and the Mexican find two bears, a male and a female. The park ranger asked the Mexican which ate his friend he points to the male and the ranger kills him and guts him there are no remains of the Czech man in the bear. Moral of the story never trust a Mexican when he says the Check is in the male
Why did the French construct the Maginot Line?
To keep the n**... in Czech!
A Czech lady told me this joke...
Her: "What do you call a person who speaks 3 languages?"
Me: "Trilingual."
Her: "What do you a person who speaks two languages?"
Me: "Bilingual"
Her: "What do you call a person who speaks one language?"
Me: ??????
Her: AMERICAN!
After a flood of forged financial documents from a small eastern european country, an urgent warning was issued by banks worldwide
CHECK CZECH CHEQUES
A German, An Austrian and a Czech are walking down the street.
A German, An Austrian and a Czech are walking down the street, suddenly the German stops.
"Vait up you guys. I need to slip into ze bank for und moment." says the German. The trio walk towards the bank and the German and the Austrian walk inside. They turn around. The Czech is stood in the doorway.
"Vhat are you vaiting for?" asks the Austrian.
"It says no checks." replies the Czech.
(Real Story) All of a sudden, my Steam language was set to Russian.
I was changing it back to English, when my hand slipped. But it's okay, now. I have everything in Czech.
I recently became friends with someone from Central Europe
We met at a Chess tournament and I've never once beaten him in a game.
He's my Czech mate
What happened when the bankrupt eastern european jumped off a building?
The Czech bounced.
The problem with driving a Yugo...
... is that the Czech engine light is always on.
Guy playing chess with his Central European lover
"Czech and mate"
What do you call traffic in The Czech Republic?
Praguetory
My Czech mate is surprisingly bad at chess
Why are the best accountants twins from Prague?
Because they always double Czech their work!
I used to work in an eastern european fraud office.
I had to check czech cheques.
What happens when your friend from Prague topples over?
You right a Czech.
I have a Polish friend who is roadie for a rock band
I have a Czech one too.
Czech one too. Czech one too.
I was in a band
One of our roadies was a German man.
There was a Czech one too.
Czech 1-2, Czech 1-2
Who is the chess player's dream companion?
A *Czech Mate*
I'm Hungary
I'm Russian to the kitchen to czech the fridge
There is turkey
But it's covered in Greece
There's Norway I can eat that.
I met a Slavic feminist once.
She told me to Czech my privilege.
Why can it be so annoying to drive a Skoda?
The Czech engine light is always on.
My friends are baffled that I gave up the single life for my European wife and wonder why I don't chase girls anymore.
It's because she keeps me in Czech.
What's the most popular kind of music in the Czech Republic?
Prague Rock
I have a Polish friend who has a job as a sound engineer...
I have a Czech one too...
"Checkmate"
"No, she's Austrian, but her father was Czech"
It is interesting how different nations have their dogs make different sounds. An American dog goes Woof, a Czech dog goes Haf, a Dutch dog goes Blaf.
and a Chinese dog goes Sizzle
How do people in Prague solve algebra equations?
Guess and Czech.
What's it called when you beat your eastern European friend at strategy board games.
Czech Mate
I run a mail order bride service based out of Prague.
I had a customer call and complain the other day about his order not arriving. It was alright though, I just reassured him that his Czech was in the mail.
What's a bankers Favorite place to go on vacation?
The Czech Republic
Ever been to Prague
You gotta Czech it out
How did the British prevent war with the Germans in 1938?
They wrote them a Czech.
I went to a Slovakian restaurant.
And after all these years, they still gave me a Czech.
A rabbit seeks for his hole in a Czech pub
Apparently all the holes are taken up
Why do Czechoslovakian kids do well in math?
They double Czech everything!
My Grandmaster Friend is getting married to his Slav girlfriend tomorrow
He found his Czech mate
What do you say when you accidently walk in on your gay slav friend?
The Czech is in the male!
Back when I was in a band I had a roadie that was from Poland
I also had a Czech one too, czech one too
I went to go see Kafkaesque last night...
They're a new Prague Rock band, you should Czech them out
A Slovak beats his Czech friend at a game of chess.
Czechmate.
I made a friend at this chess club in Prague
Czech mate
How does the Prague mafia mark its territory?
With a Czech mark
My last trip to Europe reminded me how bad I was at chess
I was beaten by a Czech mate
I have a Russian friend who is a sound engineer.
I have a Czech one too. I have a Czech one too.
I can never remember where Prague is...
I always have to Czech.
What do Slovakians say when they win a game of chess?
"Czech mate"
Why do citizens of Prague rarely get scammed?
Because they always double Czech
I know this Russian sound-tech who's really great.
And a Czech one too.... And a Czech one too.
I have a Polish friend who's a sound technician.
Oh, and a Czech one too. Czech one too. Czech one too.
I have a Polish friend who is a drummer.
And a Czech one too.
Two men are playing chess in Australia
o**... asks "What's your ethnicity?"
As he knocks over the king, the other guy responds "Czech, mate"
A Czechoslovakian and a Russian go bear hunting.
When they hadn't returned for several days, a search party was dispatched.
The search party followed the two men's tracks until they stopped at two dead brown bears, a male and a female.
They cut open the female, and sure enough, there was the Russian.
They didn't bother with the second bear, because they just assumed the Czech was in the male.
A guy walks down the street and carries an urn in his arms.
A cannibal goes around him and says, "Daamn, where'd you get instant?
(Translated from Czech)
cats
There's a new dating app for cats in Prague...
it's called Czech Meowt
My friend from Prague finally got his US citizenship approved...
He is a cancelled Czech now.
What do you get from a malfunctioning Skoda?
A Czech engine light
What did the Australian say when he stabbed the czech king?
Czech Mate
