Czech Jokes
140 czech jokes and hilarious czech puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about czech that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Explore typical Czech jokes from good-natured to dark humor, as well as jokes about Slovaks, Slavic, Lithuanian and even surveyors. Laugh along with the Czechs and get to know the culture better.
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Funniest Czech Short Jokes
Short czech jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The czech humour may include short polish jokes also.
- I've just started a new business selling trampoline in Prague Getting a lot of orders, but the Czechs keep bouncing.
- I have an Eastern European friend who fixes my language mistakes... My personal spell Czech.
- Have you heard about the curator of the Slavic History exhibit? He's forever Russian around, Czeching that everything gets Polished
- I'm friends with a Chess grandmaster from Prague, but I can't pronounce his name Is it OK if I just call him a Czech mate?
- A local museum today received a substantial donation of French Impressionist and Eastern European artwork. They're gettin' Monet for nothing and Czechs for free.
- A Slovak oligarch, Japanese nationalist, communist and a pirate meet in a parliament... This isn't a joke. It's Czech Republic.
- So, I ordered a mail order bride from Czechoslovakia… Turns out she was my Czech mate
- Finally got funding approved for the gay club I'm opening in Prague. The Czech's in the Male
- (Real Story) All of a sudden, my Steam language was set to Russian. I was changing it back to English, when my hand slipped. But it's okay, now. I have everything in Czech.
- Why can it be so annoying to drive a Skoda? The Czech engine light is always on.
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Czech One Liners
Which czech one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with czech? I can suggest the ones about czech republic and good czech.
- I have a russian friend who's a sound technician And a Czech one too.
A Czech one too. - I married a European chess master. He's my Czech mate.
- What do you call a country that doesn't use credit cards? A Czech Republic
- I've never been good at chess. Unlike my Czech mate.
- What country does not accept cash or credit cards? The Czech Republic
- I played chess with my friend from Central Europe. Czech mate.
- Two cannibals walked into a restaurant in Prague They asked for separate Czechs.
- Made an Eastern European friend on a chess forum. He was my Czech mate.
- My band used to have a Polish sound guy. And we also had a Czech one, too.
- I'm thinking about starting a dating service in Prague I shall call it "Czech-Mate"
- What do you call your friend from Prague who beat you at chess? Your Czech mate
- What do you called a verified country? A Czeched Republic
- Did you hear about the guy from Prague wearing armor? The Czech's in the mail.
- My Czech mate is surprisingly bad at chess
- Why do chess players search for love in Central Europe? They prefer Czech mates
Czech Republic Jokes
Here is a list of funny czech republic jokes and even better czech republic puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- If Britain has Brexit... Did the Czech Republic check-out?
- Just made this one up... My uncle recently ordered a mail order bride from the Czech Republic. The Czech is in the mail.
~I'll let myself out... - What's a chess player's favorite country? Czech Republic
- There is this guy from the Czech Republic that plays chess with his austrian friend. Czech mate.
- Germany and the Czech Republic have left the EU to form their own fully integrated economy. Their currency is called the ✓
- Which country's people are least likely to use cash? The Czech Republic.
- What's the most popular kind of music in the Czech Republic? Prague Rock
- What's a bankers Favorite place to go on vacation? The Czech Republic
- Bohemia just announced its plans to secede from the Czech Republic. Is this the real life?
- What do you call traffic in The Czech Republic? Praguetory
Good Czech Jokes
Here is a list of funny good czech jokes and even better good czech puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why should you ask a chess grandmaster to help you get a mail-order bride? They're really good at finding a Czech-mate.
- About to play chess with a good friend from Prague Czech mate
- My skoda car is really good at chess... It's czech mate
- I went to Prague recently... I had a really good time. You should Czech it out.
Great Czech Jokes to Share, Laugh and Enjoy with Friends
What funny jokes about czech you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean translation jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make czech pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What would h**...'s invasion of Czechoslovakia be called if it was done by Gen Z's?
v**... Czech
A tourist is eaten by a python at the zoo.
Two tourists from the Czech republic are visiting New York. At the zoo, one leans forward, trying to get real close to the pythons. He falls down into the enclosure and is quickly swallowed whole.
Panicking, the other guy runs up to a caretaker and cries out for help. The caretaker asks him: "Which of these pythons ate your friend, the male or the female one?"
"That one! That one!", exclaims the Czech, pointing at the male snake, bloated with its stomach full. The caretaker runs up behind the satiated snake, cuts it open and pulls out ... a feeder pig.
"Oh no, it must have been the other one", yells the tourist. So the keeper cuts open the female snake, and sure enough, out comes the tourist.
In the end, the tourist could be revived, and miraculously, both snakes managed to live through the events, but there's still a lesson to be learned here: Never trust someone who tells you the Czech is in the male.
My new girl friend.
Just got a new Czech girlfriend, but its taken her nearly 5 days to hoover the house. Turns out she's a Slovak.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Czech and a Mexican
A Czechoslovakian and a Mexican go camping, while they were in the woods the Czech gets eaten by a bear. So the Mexican runs to find the park ranger and says "park ranger a bear ate my friend"
The park ranger and the Mexican find two bears, a male and a female. The park ranger asked the Mexican which ate his friend he points to the male and the ranger kills him and guts him there are no remains of the Czech man in the bear. Moral of the story never trust a Mexican when he says the Check is in the male
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why did the French construct the Maginot Line?
To keep the n**... in Czech!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Did you hear about the white Slovakian tumblr user?
He had to Czech his privelige.
A Czech lady told me this joke...
Her: "What do you call a person who speaks 3 languages?"
Me: "Trilingual."
Her: "What do you a person who speaks two languages?"
Me: "Bilingual"
Her: "What do you call a person who speaks one language?"
Me: ??????
Her: AMERICAN!
After a flood of forged financial documents from a small eastern european country, an urgent warning was issued by banks worldwide
CHECK CZECH CHEQUES
I want to marry a girl from Prague
I'll have a Czech mate
A German, An Austrian and a Czech are walking down the street.
A German, An Austrian and a Czech are walking down the street, suddenly the German stops.
"Vait up you guys. I need to slip into ze bank for und moment." says the German. The trio walk towards the bank and the German and the Austrian walk inside. They turn around. The Czech is stood in the doorway.
"Vhat are you vaiting for?" asks the Austrian.
"It says no checks." replies the Czech.
A man is getting prepared to go on vacation
A man is getting prepared to go on vacation, his wife writes him a checklist of everything he needs
He starts to read it out
"Pack clothes? Check"
"Pack toiletries? Check"
"Grab electronics? Check"
"Laptop? Check"
"Know where you're going? Czech"
What happened when the bankrupt eastern european jumped off a building?
The Czech bounced.
The problem with driving a Yugo...
... is that the Czech engine light is always on.
Guy playing chess with his Central European lover
"Czech and mate"
Why are the best accountants twins from Prague?
Because they always double Czech their work!
A cannibal is having a meal at a restaurant
After finishing his main course he tells the waiter "Czech please"
I used to work in an eastern european fraud office.
I had to check czech cheques.
What country accepts only one form of payment?
The Czech Republic!
what did they tell the eastern European tree who wanted a room at the hotel california
you can czech in any time you want
but you can never leaf
I've never been to Prague...
But I've always wanted to Czech it out!
What happens when your friend from Prague topples over?
You right a Czech.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Donald Trump used to enjoy having first wife Ivana....
sit on his knees so he could raise and lower her. Guess not the first time he bounced a Czech.
I was in a band
One of our roadies was a German man.
There was a Czech one too.
Czech 1-2, Czech 1-2
Who is the chess player's dream companion?
A *Czech Mate*
I've been getting way too deep into the Prague Surrealist movement lately.
I think I need a Reality Czech.
I'm Hungary
I'm Russian to the kitchen to czech the fridge
There is turkey
But it's covered in Greece
There's Norway I can eat that.
I met a Slavic feminist once.
She told me to Czech my privilege.
What does an editor do in Eastern Europe?
They Czech for errors.
My friends are baffled that I gave up the single life for my European wife and wonder why I don't chase girls anymore.
It's because she keeps me in Czech.
I have a Polish friend who has a job as a sound engineer...
I have a Czech one too...
I have a Romanian friend who does tech for Broadway productions...
I have a Czech one, too!
195 Countries go to a restaurant...
But none of them could pick up the Czech.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call two Czech people having s**...?
Czech mate.
"Checkmate"
"No, she's Austrian, but her father was Czech"
It is interesting how different nations have their dogs make different sounds. An American dog goes Woof, a Czech dog goes Haf, a Dutch dog goes Blaf.
and a Chinese dog goes Sizzle
How do people in Prague solve algebra equations?
Guess and Czech.
"Travel Bags?" "Check" "Snacks?" "Check" "Going to a place in Europe?"
"Czech"
How do you get a hotel room in Prague?
You Czech in.
I run a mail order bride service based out of Prague.
I had a customer call and complain the other day about his order not arriving. It was alright though, I just reassured him that his Czech was in the mail.
Ever been to Prague
You gotta Czech it out
Do you know what do you say, when you outsmart a person from Czech Republic ?
Checkmate
How do you describe your buddy who was Born in Prague but lives with you in Australia?
Czech Mate
How did the British prevent war with the Germans in 1938?
They wrote them a Czech.
My sound tech walked in to hook up my microphones
We got to talking and I let him know I have a few friends who are also sound techs.
Really. Fascinating with feigned excitement.
Yeah. One of them is German.
Ok....
I have a Czech one, too. A Czech one, too.
I went to a Slovakian restaurant.
And after all these years, they still gave me a Czech.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Mein Scherz
h**...: Are there any Jews left?
Hirohito: I don't know.
Mussolini: I will go Czech.
What did the busdriver say to the police officer, when asked if there were any europeans on the bus?
- I have two czech
Paid a gorgeous Slovakian girl to bounce on a trampoline with me
The Czech bounced
A rabbit seeks for his hole in a Czech pub
Apparently all the holes are taken up
Why do Czechoslovakian kids do well in math?
They double Czech everything!
My Grandmaster Friend is getting married to his Slav girlfriend tomorrow
He found his Czech mate
What do you say when you accidently walk in on your gay slav friend?
The Czech is in the male!
I went to go see Kafkaesque last night...
They're a new Prague Rock band, you should Czech them out
A Slovak beats his Czech friend at a game of chess.
Czechmate.
A group with a man from every country goes to a restaurant, but one refuses to enter. Who and why?
The guy from the Czech Republic, because the sign read that you can pay with Czech.
How does the Prague mafia mark its territory?
With a Czech mark
My last trip to Europe reminded me how bad I was at chess
I was beaten by a Czech mate
I can never remember where Prague is...
I always have to Czech.
Why do citizens of Prague rarely get scammed?
Because they always double Czech
How did Slovakia gain independence?
By bouncing a czech.
