Czar Jokes

Following is our collection of moscow puns and emperor one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Czar jokes for adults, dirty collusion jokes and clean putin dad gags for kids.

The Best Czar Puns

An old political joke from Imperial Russia (reign of Nicholas II)

A man yells in the street: "Nicholas is a moron!". He is taken away by the police on charges of lese majeste (insulting the monarch). He tells the policemen "Please let me go, I meant another Nicholas!". The police chief replies: "Do not lie. If you said 'moron', you certainly meant the Czar!"

An English kid and Russian kid were examining a beehive together.

English kid: See that one? We call that the Queen because it is the leader of the hive, just like the Queen is the leader of our country.

Russian kid: We call it the czar.

English kid: Well that's a little bee czar.

I've never understood why there's Burger King but no Borscht Czar

After all, people who eat fast food are in a hurry... they're always Russian around everywhere.

What's a classic Russian sci-fi film?

Czar Wars

So a horse walks into a Czar.

Horse! What horse? I know not of what horse you speak.


There is an abundance of motherland jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 5 funniest jokes and czar puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any blyat witze you can hear about czar.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

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