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Cynical Jokes

24 cynical jokes and hilarious cynical puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about cynical that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Looking to add a darkly humorous touch to your conversations? Read our article to find the perfect cynical jokes that capture the irony and wryness of life with an equation of bleakness and humor.

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Funniest Cynical Short Jokes

Short cynical jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The cynical humour may include short pessimistic jokes also.

  1. How many cynics does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Doesn't matter. Lightbulb is going to die anyway.
  2. Know why New Yorkers are so cynical? For them, the light at the end of the tunnel is New Jersey.
  3. My friend said bartenders are boring, which was a bit cynical in my eyes. I think they're intoxicating people.
  4. An amoralist, a nihilist, and a world-weary cynic walk into a bar. The bartender says "Sorry, we don't serve minors in here.".
  5. Existentialist, nihilist, cynic... An existentialist, a nihilist and a tired from life cynic walk into a bar. And the bartender says: "Sorry guys, the bar's 18+ only"
  6. It's a well-known fact that the slogan at the entrance of Auschwitz was the cynical "Work sets you free". Now historians discovered what the sign at the exit read: "Hot surface, do not touch."
  7. Menopause I'm going to bed with a frozen turkey and tomorrow I will wake up to thanksgiving dinner
    Anita Marie Echevarria Cynical Comic
  8. I'm working on a board-game that's a clone of "The Game of Life" except targeted towards cynics It's called "Trivial Pursuit"
  9. I'm guessing you guys have heard of Murphy's Law, right? It's the cynical principal that anything that can go wrong, will go wrong. But have you heard of Cole's Law? It's thinly sliced cabbage.
  10. How did the cynic die? He died of liver failure.
    He took everything with a pinch of salt.

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Cynical One Liners

Which cynical one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with cynical? I can suggest the ones about sarcastic and cruel.

  1. What do you call a room full of cynical plumbers? A skeptic tank.
  2. I want to be less cynical But I know that'll never happen
  3. Where does the cynic go to pray The Cynicgogue
  4. "Call me cynical, but.." "Hi Cynical"
  5. I'm not the cynical one... Everyone else is.
  6. What do you call a cynical t-rex? Dino-genes
  7. They say cynicism is a sign of intelligence... But I don't know about that.
  8. What does a cynical Irishman drink? Whiskey sour
  9. What do you call a clinical trial when it's doubtful that it will work? A cynical trial.
  10. I wish I was a cynic... Life would be less horrible.
  11. What do you call the opposite of a cynic? a dupe.
  12. Old man: You're a bit of a cynic, aren't you? Me: No I'm not
  13. Why did the cynic fall asleep? Because he had a bed day.

Cynical joke, Why did the cynic fall asleep?

Howlingly Hilarious Cynical Jokes for All Ages to Enjoy

What funny jokes about cynical you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean nihilistic jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make cynical pranks.

Humour in grammar

An intelligent cynical physician is responsible for an almost miraculous recovery of his patient from a coma. Recognising his doc's role in his well-being, the patient invites his saviour to his wedding. Ever contemptuous of marriage, the physician types in his report, "Patient punctuated sturdy progress from coma with a full stop"

Cynical joke, What does a cynical Irishman drink?