cyclops Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious cyclops puns

Why did the cyclops quit teaching?

He had only one pupil.

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A cyclops and his wife looking for their prefect holiday destination

Cyclobs: How do you spell Hawaii?

Wife: Well... You need two i's...

Cyclobs (putting the pen down): My life is just a joke to you isn't it, Linda?

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My friend invited me to go and see a freak show...

He said 'they've got all sorts; a one eyed man called the cyclops, a woman covered in scales called the lizard lady, even a man with a willy where his nose should be'

'What do they call *him*' I asked

He said 'fuck knows'

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A cyclops was doing a crossword puzzle and asked his wife, "Hun, how do you spell Hawaii?"

Biting her lip, she replied, "I think you need 2 'i's."

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why did the cyclops close his school

because he only had one pupil

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Why did the cyclops quit his job as a teacher?

He only had one pupil.

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Why was the Cyclops a terrible teacher?

He only had one pupil.

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A friend told me this one...

Why did the cyclops close his school?

Because he only had one pupil!





The joke is that I have no friends

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Why doesn't Nick Fury have a super-hero name?

Because "cyclops" was already taken.

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What do you call a teacher with just one pupil?

A cyclops

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What did Professor X said when Cyclops whipped out his penis?

"Keep it in your Jeans"

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Why did the navy refuse to have a cyclops for a general?

They wouldn't be able to say " eye-eye sir"

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What did the Australian say to the cyclops?

Good eye mate.

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I wish there was more diversity of superheroes. We have a few female and a few black superheroes. You know what I want to see?

An FTM trans hero kicking ass with Wolverine, Cyclops, and Storm. His name can be XX-Man.

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What did the cyclops say to the sheep?

"Ewe and eye make a great team."

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What do you call a mexican cyclops?

Juan Eye.

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What does a cyclops and a pile of shit have in common?

They both look like my ex-wife Helen, that wretched ugly cheating bitch.

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Can a cyclops wink?

I dunno, ask an asshole.

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Cyclops: Hun, how do you spell Hawaii?

Wife: (biting lip).. I think you need 2 'i's.

Cyclops: (puts pen down)...You think my life is just a fucking joke to you?

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Two blokes outside a clothes shop.

One points at a T-Shirt in the window and says, That's the one I'd get.
And this cyclops comes out and kicks his head in...

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I think quality is better than quantity...

unless you're a cyclops.

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I was out window shopping... Wishing I could afford something

.... Looking at one suit I said out loud "That's the one I'd get"
And then Cyclops appeared from nowhere and punched me in the face!

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I always thought out of all the X-Men, Cyclops seemed like a stand up guy.

Professor X, not so much.

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Which way does a cyclops wing their eyeliner?

It doesn't matter because Nobody is gonna criticise their makeup anyway

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What did the Greek god Apollo tell his sister when she asked where the Cyclops was?

Over there. He's "Hartemis".

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A cyclops asks his wife,

How do you spell Hawaii?

His wife looks down, bites her lip and replies, well....you need to i's.

My life's a fucking joke to you...isn't it Linda?!

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Why did Xmen's Cyclops go to the doctors?

Because he needed laser eye surgery!

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What does a Cyclops like to do for winter?

Skiing but, with one i

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Why should we rename the alphabet to the cyclops?

Because it only has one I.


(I made it up to entertain my four year old, but I'm still kinda of it.)

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Someone told me Professor Cyclops had only one pupil

...but he told me nobody was taking his class.

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Got beaten to a pulp by a sensitive cyclops

All I said was "What's up, Big Guy?"

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When in dangerous situation - you should always sleep with one eye opened.

Especially if you're a Cyclops.

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What is the same between a cyclops and hurricane Matthew?

They both have one eye.

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What becomes the the cyclops frog?

The one-eyed tadpole, monowog.

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What are the most funny Cyclops jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Cyclops? Well, here are the best Cyclops dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Cyclops pick up lines to share with friends.

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