Cycle Path Jokes
32 cycle path jokes and hilarious cycle path puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about cycle path that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Cycle Path Short Jokes
Short cycle path jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The cycle path humour may include short cycle jokes also.
- I kept having these crazy dreams where I woke up covered in tyre tracks... My Psychiatrist is convinced I'm a 'cycle-path'
- There was this one bike trail I took and I swear, at every turn it tried to kill me. I hope I never see that crazy cycle path ever again.
- My son came up with this joke, I'm pretty proud of him What do you call a m**... who rides a pedal bike?
A cycle path! - My son came up with this one, I think I have to change roles with him. What do you call a m**... who rides a pedal bike?
A cycle path! - A man walks into a bar with a piece of green tarmac on his head... The landlord says to the rest of the customers:
"Don't talk to him! He's a **cycle path**!"
Ba Dum Tss!
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Cycle Path One Liners
Which cycle path one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with cycle path? I can suggest the ones about bike ride and path.
- My Cyclist Friend Was A Decent Guy Until he turned into a cycle path.
- What do you call a bike trail for crazy people? A cycle path
- Why was the road afraid of the bike lane? Because it was a cycle path!
- Did you hear about the CRAZY paved trail?... It's a "Cycle-Path"
- Did you hear about the red tarmac that went around murdering people? It was a cycle-path.
- I have a f**... for bikes riding on top of me I guess I'm a cycle path
- Where does a m**... ride his bike? A cycle path.
Cycle Path Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about cycle path you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean cross walk jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make cycle path pranks.
Two pieces of Road walk into a bar
They order two large beers and talk loudly, they are the toughest pieces of road in the building.
15 minutes later, a small piece of pavement walks through and asks for a small orange juice. When the roads see him, they move into the corner and stay quiet.
The bartender notices this and goes over to them and says I thought you two were the toughest they come, why are you scared of that small, quiet guy? They respond with:
You should be careful with him, He's a Cycle Path
Three slabs of concrete walk into a bar
They sit down, order drinks and start bragging about how strong they are. As they're doing this a small bit of green tarmac walks in and they hide under the table as it orders its drink.
When it leaves they all get up and the barman asks them
"What's up with you guys? I thought all of you were tough."
"Oh, we're tough," they said, "but he's a cycle path."
Two lumps of concrete walk into a busy bar...
They see some chairs next to a lump of tarmac, and the one goes over to sit when the other grabs him saying:
"Dude, don't sit next to him.. he's a cycle-path"
A grey piece of tarmac rolls into a bar
He says "I'm the biggest and toughest piece of tarmac around, and I'll fight anybody in here."
The barman says "if you're so tough, go fight that red piece of tarmac over there."
The grey piece of tarmac looks over at the red piece of tarmac and says "I'm not fighting that guy, he's a cycle path!"
Black tarmac and red tarmac at chatting at a bar
Black tarmac: No one messes with me.
Red tarmac: Yeah? How come?
Black tarmac: I'm black tarmac, I'm the toughest tarmac, tougher than any other
Green tarmac walks in, and black tarmac cowers behind red tarmac as green tarmac orders a drink, drinks it and leaves.
Black tarmac: Hey red tarmac, has green tarmac left?
Red tarmac: They have, why are you afraid of them? I thought you were the toughest tarmac?
Black tarmac: I am the toughest tarmac but that guys a cycle path!
two big pieces of tarmac walk into a bar...
the pieces of tarmac walk up the counter and begin to order their drinks, but as they do, a small piece of pink tarmac walks in.
the two larger pieces of tarmac say to the bartender: "please. let the pink tarmac order first."
the bartender replies: "why, are you two big lads scared of a small piece of tarmac like that?"
they reply: "of course. she's a cycle path."
There was this guy on the road
There was this guy on the road who was found painted grey with a white push bike symbol painted on. He said he lays down on roads to camouflage himself waiting for people to ride their bikes over him because he enjoyed the feeling.
This guy was a real cycle path.
Asphalt and Tarmac were in the bar together having a beer, arguing over who was toughest - when a pink piece of concrete walked into the bar....
Everybody in the bar fell silent and averted their attention. The pink piece of concrete ordered a drink. The bartender was shaking as he poured his beer. The pink piece of concrete looked around, nobody meeting his gaze, drank his beer in one glug and left.
The normal ambience resumed.
"Youv'e got to watch out for him" Tarmac said to Asphalt, "hes a cycle-path!"
So a green piece of road walks into the bar...
So a green piece of road walks into the bar... It goes up to the bar and orders a drink, then takes it to a table where two traffic lights are playing a game of cards. The traffic lights take one look at the road and run out! Later the bartender finds them cowering behind the bins outside:
"What on Earth is wrong with you two?" He asks.
"That green piece of road that walked in! He told us he was a cycle path!"
Two pieces of Black Tarmac are chatting in the pub.
One says to the other "I'm the hardest piece of tarmac in here I could take anyone on".
Just as he's saying this a Red piece of tarmac enters the pub.
The Black piece shuts up and hides under the table.
The other black piece of tarmac says "what's up with you" and he replies "I might be hard, but he's a cycle path"
A black piece of tarmac is having a quiet drink at the pub...
...when the door bursts open and a red piece of tarmac comes storming in loud and aggressively.
The piece of black tarmac turns to the barman anxiously: *"Don't even think about serving him!"*
*"Why not?"*, the barman asks.
*"Isn't it obvious? He's a freaking cycle path!"*
The M6 walks into a bar
The M6 walks into a bar and says to the bartender "I'm the oldest and toughest motorway in Britain and if you don't give me a free drink, I'll smash your face in." The bartender, not looking for any trouble, gives him a free drink and the M6 goes to sit in the corner.
Seeing this, the M2 strides up to the bar and says "I'm the widest and hardest motorway in Britain. Give me a free drink or I'll smash your face in." The M2, with his free drink was still not satisfied and went up to the M6, starting a heated argument over who was tougher.
After a few minutes, a stretch of red tarmac walks into the bar. The M2 says "You want me to prove I'm tough, watch the state I'm gonna leave this bloke in."
The M6 says "I wouldn't do that if I was you. I've seen his type before. He's a cycle path."
Piece of tarmac walks into a bar, and orders a beer...
he needs the toilet, so he asks the guy next to him to watch his beer while he goes to the toilet. Gets back to the bar, and the beer is gone!!
"hey, what gives?" demands the piece of tarmac.
"oh, that piece of red tarmac over there said he was a friend of yours." said the man, "frankly I've never seen talking tarmac before today, so I didn't argue, and he drank your beer. Do you want to go talk to him?"
"Im not talking to him!!" said the tarmac, "he's a cycle path!"
So there were these two roads sitting in a crowded bar...
So there were these two roads sitting in a crowded bar enjoying a hard-earned drink after a tough day of being roads.
They've had a few shots of tarquila each and are beginning to talk tough.
The first road slugs down another shot and says "You know... I reckon I'm the best road in the country!"
The second road scoffs, takes his shot and replies "If you're the best road in the country, I'm the best bit of bitumen in the world!"
First road starts to respond when suddenly a scraggly bit of concrete walks through the bar door and everyone goes dead quiet.
The two roads look at the bit of concrete and wander aloud why everyone went quiet.
The bartender leans over and tells them to shut up -- "Shhh! Watch out for him! He's a real cycle-path!"