Cycle Jokes
111 cycle jokes and hilarious cycle puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about cycle that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Check out these hilarious cycle jokes! From the water cycle and the cell cycle to the rock cycle, menstrual cycle and of course, bicycle jokes - get ready for some great laughs and puns about traction, rains and viscous rides!
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Funniest Cycle Short Jokes
Short cycle jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The cycle humour may include short bike jokes also.
- I keep getting hit by the same bike, at the same time and place, day after day... It's a vicious cycle.
- My wife rotates playing her guitar, drum, or flute once a month. It's part of her minstrel cycle.
- Did you hear about the guy who couldn't stop pouring maple syrup on his bike? Apparently he's stuck in a viscous cycle.
- My partner laughed at me when I told her I was going to make a bike out of Macaroni You should've seen her face when I cycled pasta.
- Man, after joining a Biker Gang: Do we or don't we ride our bikes at the same speed? Biker: Yes, we do. But stop calling it synchronizing our cycles.
- My wife said I am going to cycle 10 miles every day to get my body back in shape, I said good girl go for it, I have noticed a massive difference after just 4 weeks. She is 280 miles away.
- Have you ever observed the depression cycle of a snail? It's pretty much a downward spiral.
- I was going to make a pun about Elizabeth the 1st's menstrual cycle... But I don't like making period jokes, because not everyone gets them.
- I used to take naps on a bike until someone stole the tires They really messed with my sleep cycle.
- Two cycling girls decide to explore the old town... "I never came this way before!"
"Me neither, must be the cobblestones."
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Cycle One Liners
Which cycle one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with cycle? I can suggest the ones about phase and ride.
- I keep falling off my bike. It's a vicious cycle.
- I personally identify as one cycle per second. Because everything hertz.
- Does Lance Armstrong enjoy cycling? Of course he does! He has a ball!
- Did you hear about the man who got hit by a bike every morning? It was a vicious cycle.
- My dog kept chasing people on bikes I never should have taught him to cycle!
- Why is there so much blood when I'm on my cycle? I'm never mountain biking again.
- What do a bisexual monarch and a cycling enthusiast have in common? Biking
- If a man opens a cycling shop... ...is he a bicycle peddler?
- What do young Eskimos ride to school? Ice-cycles.
- What do you call a bard on a Harley? A Minstral Cycle.
- Did you hear about the motorbike who came out to his parents? He was bi-cycle
- How do woman keep track of their mentraul cycles? Flow charts.
- I made a bike out of tampons. It's a menstrual cycle.
- I fell off my bike 3 days in a row Its a vicious cycle
I tried. - I was hand washing my clothes the other day... Got a little dizzy during the spin cycle.
Menstrual Cycle Jokes
Here is a list of funny menstrual cycle jokes and even better menstrual cycle puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Did you hear about the female rapper who only battled when she was on her menstrual cycle? They said she had a mean flow!
- Have you guys heard about the female rapper who performs on her menstrual cycle? They say she has a mean flow
- My girlfriend made me watch a movie with her about how women struggled during their menstrual cycles in the 18th century. It was a period piece
- Menstrual cycle jokes aren't funny Period.
- A man meets a woman at a bar and invites her back to his place... She says "I'm on my menstrual cycle".
He replies "Perfect! You can follow me on my mountain bike". - Did you hear about the screening of that documentary movie on Menstrual cycle? The audience gave it a standing ovulation.
- What do you call two girls having their menstrual cycles? A menstrual bicycle.
- My Girlfriend is writing a book about menstrual cycles. It's a period piece.
- Guy: Can I walk you home? Girl : No point, I'm on my menstrual cycle.
Guy: That's OK, I'll run behind. - I'm writing a book about how Elizabethan era women dealt with their menstrual cycles. It's a period piece.
Cycle Path Jokes
Here is a list of funny cycle path jokes and even better cycle path puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I kept having these crazy dreams where I woke up covered in tyre tracks... My Psychiatrist is convinced I'm a 'cycle-path'
- Why was the road afraid of the bike lane? Because it was a cycle path!
- Did you hear about the CRAZY paved trail?... It's a "Cycle-Path"
- There was this one bike trail I took and I swear, at every turn it tried to kill me. I hope I never see that crazy cycle path ever again.
- Did you hear about the red tarmac that went around murdering people? It was a cycle-path.
Water Cycle Jokes
Here is a list of funny water cycle jokes and even better water cycle puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Water evaporates, condenses, precipitates, and evaporates again. It's a viscous cycle.
Howlingly Hilarious Cycle Jokes for an Unforgettable Evening
What funny jokes about cycle you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean chain jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make cycle pranks.
Short joke my dad used to tell me
A man sees a pretty girl in a bar and asks if she wants to go back to his place.
"I can't," she says, "I'm on my menstrual cycle."
He leans over and says, "That's okay, I brought my moped."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man walks into a bar with a piece of green tarmac on his head...
The landlord says to the rest of the customers:
"Don't talk to him! He's a **cycle path**!"
Ba Dum Tss!
What do you call a movie set during a woman's menstral cycle?
A period piece
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A black piece of tarmac is having a quiet drink at the pub...
...when the door bursts open and a red piece of tarmac comes storming in loud and aggressively.
The piece of black tarmac turns to the barman anxiously: *"Don't even think about serving him!"*
*"Why not?"*, the barman asks.
*"Isn't it obvious? He's a freaking cycle path!"*
Mayas well chip in my German joke.
Did you hear about the Polish triathlon?
You walk to the swimming pool and cycle home.
The smart smuggler
A shrewd businessman was crossing a border with two donkeys and some luggage. The border guard stops him and checks the packs, but finds nothing in them. He lets him pass.
This cycle repeats itself, with the businessman crossing the border back and forth, and the border guard never finding anything. Many years later, both the businessman and guard are retired and by chance meet up at a coffee house.
The guard sees that the businessman is very rich, so he asks him "Please answer honestly. I know you were smuggling something, but I can't for the life of me figure out what. What was it?"
The businessman replies: "Donkeys!"
This is a story from one of the adventures of a Persian sage called Mulla Nasrudin. Nasrudin's stories are both wise and funny. If you enjoy this one, I can post more. I had a book about these stories and remember quite a few.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Halfway through a wash, my washing machine started demanding s**... from me, right here right now.
It was the menstrual cycle.
New documentary about the female menstrual cycle.
Available exclusively at Redbox.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I know I shouldn't, but I treat b**... and w**... the same
Speed Wash cycle.
What do you call it when frankenstein's monster's wife gets her period?
Her monstrual cycle
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The Soviet Cycle of Procrastination
First, you are Putin down your work. Then, you are Stalin for time. Finally, you are Russian to finish.
Every morning I get up walk out the door and get hit by the same bike day in day out.......
It's a vicious cycle
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a bike that is also being convicted of a m**...
A vicious cycle!
A joke from Korea
"Americans are saying that in 2016, they will either have their first woman president, or their first insane president.
Like what's the big deal? Korea did both in one election cycle back in 2012"
Why do Bard's wear red when they ride bikes?
Because they are on their Minstrel Cycle.
Why couldn't the jumper cable start up his girlfriend?
She was on her deep cycle
Madison Bumgarner hit for the cycle?
No, he was hit by a cycle!
Conservative America really learned something this last election cycle
The word "deplorable"
What is a politicians favorite setting on a washing machine?
The spin cycle.
Have you ever heard of the female rapper who would only rap while she was on her menstrual cycle?
... they say she had a mean flow.
What do you call it when you put syrup in the washing machine?
A viscous cycle
How do you track the reproductive cycle of pachyderms?
With the Periodic Table of Elephants.
Periodic abstinence as contraception can be successful, provided one meets three very strict conditions:
1. The woman must have a very regular menstrual cycle.
2. You must be able to count well.
3. And you must really love children.
Loosely translated from Herman Finkers. My favorite dutch comedian.
What do you call a software developer on a bike, being chased by a car?
A software developer life cycle
My friend rides a bike with a spike on the seat
It's a vicious cycle.
The natural fear cycle.
Cockroach afraid of mice
Mice afraid of cats
Cats afraid of dogs
Dogs afraid of men
Men afraid from wives
Wives afraid of cockraoches.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
s**... life cycle of a human male
tri-weekly
try weekly
try weakly
What is the official song of ladies that are having a bad menstrual cycle?
Bad Blood by Taylor Swift.
Some of my clothes are getting ripped to shreds when I use the washing machine.
It keeps happening every time. I think it's a vicious cycle.
How did the puppy's bath go?
Not well. What cycle do you usually put him in? Hand washable or gentle?
So a green piece of road walks into the bar...
So a green piece of road walks into the bar... It goes up to the bar and orders a drink, then takes it to a table where two traffic lights are playing a game of cards. The traffic lights take one look at the road and run out! Later the bartender finds them cowering behind the bins outside:
"What on Earth is wrong with you two?" He asks.
"That green piece of road that walked in! He told us he was a cycle path!"
I'm going to install a new sensor in my shower
So I know when my dishwasher is finished its self-cleaning cycle
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My Cyclist Friend Was A Decent Guy
Until he turned into a cycle path.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A person who writes lyrics is called lyricist,
A person who rides a cycle is called cyclist,
A person who does s**... is called sexist.
Credit : Varun Thakur
What kind of cycle do bisexuals ride?
A Bicycle
(Hope this hasn't been done before if so link me and I'll delete this)
Just Bought a New Road Bike
It's a vicious cycle.
"You gotta help man, my bike's possessed. If I ride it, it bites me, if I don't, it still bites me."
"It's a vicious cycle."
"You think that's bad? My bike's turned entirely into clumpy goo."
"It's a viscous cycle."
"You think that's bad?! My bike's turned into a man, and then gone off to compete in the olympics."
"It's discus michael."
Two pieces of Black Tarmac are chatting in the pub.
One says to the other "I'm the hardest piece of tarmac in here I could take anyone on".
Just as he's saying this a Red piece of tarmac enters the pub.
The Black piece shuts up and hides under the table.
The other black piece of tarmac says "what's up with you" and he replies "I might be hard, but he's a cycle path"
An old lady walks into an Apple store with a dripping wet MacBook in hand.
She finds an employee and tells him that her MacBook wouldn't turn on after she cleaned it. The employee looks at the MacBook and sees that it's soaking wet.
Ma'am did you wash it with water? He asks.
Yes but I don't think that's what killed it. Replied the old lady.
Than what killed it? Asked the employee very confused.
The Spin Cycle.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I have a f**... for bikes riding on top of me
I guess I'm a cycle path
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Where does a m**... ride his bike?
A cycle path.
I have a bike with no seat. It hurts to ride, and no one wants to buy it because it has no seat. So I'm stuck riding this bike.
It's a vicious cycle.
What did the father tomato say to the baby tomato when they were out for a walk?
What did the father tomato say to the baby tomato when they were out for a walk?
The father tomato looks back and sees his child way behind him, he runs back to him, stomps on him and yells "KETCHUP!"
Update:
it may be morbid, but that is the life cycle for these tomatos.
What do you call a traveling musician's bike?
A minstrel cycle
To get in shape I had a bike made out of taffy but I never rode it
It was a viscous cycle
Do you know why I wear lycra to bed?
To help with my sleep cycle.
My wife was worried that she was going to get fat one day - just because her sisters are fat, her mom is fat and her grandmother was fat. So I bought her a Peloton.
She broke the cycle.
My wife was worried that she was going to get fat, just because her sisters are fat, her mom is fat and her grandmother was fat. So I bought her a Peloton.
She broke the cycle.
Black tarmac and red tarmac at chatting at a bar
Black tarmac: No one messes with me.
Red tarmac: Yeah? How come?
Black tarmac: I'm black tarmac, I'm the toughest tarmac, tougher than any other
Green tarmac walks in, and black tarmac cowers behind red tarmac as green tarmac orders a drink, drinks it and leaves.
Black tarmac: Hey red tarmac, has green tarmac left?
Red tarmac: They have, why are you afraid of them? I thought you were the toughest tarmac?
Black tarmac: I am the toughest tarmac but that guys a cycle path!
A person gets hit by a bicycle.
So this person wakes up, as usual, to get ready to go to work. They do their normal routine: brush teeth, eat breakfast, get dressed, etc... On their way to work, they get hit by a bicycle.
The next day, the same thing happens. Get ready for work, leave, get hit by a bicycle. This goes on for weeks.
It was a vicious cycle.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's the most common vehicle used to run men over?
The menstrual cycle!
A grey piece of tarmac rolls into a bar
He says "I'm the biggest and toughest piece of tarmac around, and I'll fight anybody in here."
The barman says "if you're so tough, go fight that red piece of tarmac over there."
The grey piece of tarmac looks over at the red piece of tarmac and says "I'm not fighting that guy, he's a cycle path!"
Why don't more men take spinning classes?
Because guys don't want to be a around a bunch of women on their cycle.
What do you call a mean bike?
A vicious cycle!
Fellow dad buddy of mine got me with it today lol
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My son came up with this joke, I'm pretty proud of him
What do you call a m**... who rides a pedal bike?
A cycle path!
There was this guy on the road
There was this guy on the road who was found painted grey with a white push bike symbol painted on. He said he lays down on roads to camouflage himself waiting for people to ride their bikes over him because he enjoyed the feeling.
This guy was a real cycle path.
