Cutting Onion Jokes

54 cutting onion jokes and hilarious cutting onion puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about cutting onion that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Best Short Cutting Onion Jokes

Short cutting onion jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The cutting onion humour may include short onion jokes also.

  1. When I was 5 I cried when I saw my mom cut up onions in the kitchen I miss onions. She was a really nice cat.
  2. As a child,I always cried when my dad was cutting onions in the kitchen Onions was a good dog :(
  3. When I was a kid... ... our family was very poor. I remember when my dad was cutting onion and our whole family was crying. Poor onion. He was such a good dog.
  4. What's the difference between an accordion and an onion? No one cries when you cut up an accordion
  5. The best time to cry is when you're cutting onions. Cuz everyone thinks it's just the onions.
  6. I remember the time when I was reminiscing my love life while cutting onion The onion cried
  7. What's the difference between a 5 lb bag of onions and some bagpipes? No one cries when you cut up the bagpipes.
  8. Once when I came back from school I saw my dad cutting onions, it made me cry a lot.... Onions was a good dog.
  9. I cried while cutting up an onion today... ...I think I was just reliving the time that onion molested me as a kid.
  10. I asked my girlfriend how I should cut the onions for her, her response, "Do them the way you think I would like them." And now I know what fear is.

Quick Jump To

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about cutting onion can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of cutting onion puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

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Cutting Onion One Liners

Which cutting onion one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with cutting onion? I can suggest the ones about cutting the cheese and cutting.

  1. My dad was cutting up Onions and I started crying. Onions was a great dog.
  2. Whats the diff. between an onion and a bagpipe. Nobody cries when you cut up a bagpipe.
  3. People always cry when cutting onions. The trick is not to form an emotional bond.
  4. Whats the difference between onions and girls? I cry when I cut up onions.
  5. What is difference between my grandmother and onions? I cried when I cut up the onions.
  6. What's the difference between strippers and onions? I cry when I cut up onions
  7. I started crying when dad started cutting onions. Onions was such a good dog.
  8. Why did the man cry when he was cutting up onions? "Onions" was his dog...
  9. What do onions and people have in common? I weep uncontrollably when I cut them.
  10. You know whats sad? A depressed onion cutting itself.
  11. I can't cut an onion because it makes me cry. My grandma died cutting an onion.
  12. When Chuck Norris cuts onions, the onins cry.
  13. How is a baby like an onion? If you cut it into little pieces, it might make you cry.
  14. Families are like onions.... Watching them be cut into small pieces will make you cry.
  15. What did the chef say when he'd finished cutting his onions? That's shallot!

Cutting Onion Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about cutting onion you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean onion cry jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make cutting onion prank.

What's the difference between a h**... and an onion? You won't cry when you're cutting up the h**....

The trick that will stop you from crying every time you cut an onion-

Stop getting so d**... attached to onions.

I cut my thumb chopping onions... such a way as to make applying appropriate pressure difficult. I made my way to the ER. They weren't busy, so the doctor came over to dress my wound. I expressed frustration over my lack in first aid and the persistent crimson flow. In a matter-of-fact tone, he reassured me, "Don't worry; all of my patients stop bleeding eventually."

What´s the difference between George W. Bush and a Onion?

No one cries when you cut George Bush into half.

What's the difference between a saxophone and an onion?

You don't cry when you cut up a saxophone.
Happy Saxophone Day
Why this musical abomination deserves its own day is beyond me.

A depressed onion peeled itself to the end and when it found there was nothing inside it said...

"I should have cut myself when I had the chance."

What's the difference between Hillary Clinton and an onion?

I'd cry if I cut an onion in half.

I figured out the best way to not cry when cutting an onion.

Just don't form any sort of emotional bond with it.

I learned in Culinary School today the only way to cut Onions and not cry.....

You have to not become emotionally attached to the Onion.

I decided to call my newly adopted dog "Onions"

So I could have a reason for crying when I cut him up at the dinner table

What's the difference between a h**... and a onion?

I don't cry when i cut up a h**....

Recently a new supermarket opened nearby

It has an automatic water mist generator to keep the produce fresh.
Just before it starts the mist, you hear the sound of distant thunder and the smell of fresh rain.
When you pass the milk section, you hear cows mooing and you get the scent of freshly cut hay.
In the meat department there is the aroma of charcoal grilled steaks with onions.
When you approach the egg counter, you hear hens cluck and cackle, and the air is filled with the pleasing aroma of eggs frying.
The bread department features the tantalizing smell of fresh baked bread and cookies.
I don't buy toilet paper there any more…

If you cry when you cut an onion, here's a tip:

**Don't get emotionally attached.**

What's the difference between a h**... and an onion?

Cutting up an onion makes me cry,
but h**... have more protein.

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these cutting onion jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.