Cutting Corners Jokes
46 cutting corners jokes and hilarious cutting corners puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about cutting corners that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Cutting Corners Short Jokes
Short cutting corners jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The cutting corners humour may include short cutting wood jokes also.
- I once tried to make a square but I ended up with an octagon That's what happens when you cut corners
- Did you hear The Pentagon was actually supposed to be an octagon? but they hired a government contractor that cut corners
- I got a job at a circle making factory! Sadly, I was fired today because I was cutting corners
- King Arthur wasn't pleased with the quality of his new table. The carpenter had cut some corners.
- People who process expired passports are so lazy they're always cutting corners.
(Joel Dommett) - I just met a girl And she took me to her metal fabrication shop.
It's safe to say that we cut corners and sparks were flying. - Whoever designed the octagon was a genius. But whoever designed the circle definitely cut corners.
- We just hired an ex-con, who was in for tax evasion, to do our landscaping And I must say he is terrific at cutting the corners.
- Why did the carpenter get fire from his job making round houses? He was always cutting corners
- I'm not that great at origami... I cut corners.
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Cutting Corners One Liners
Which cutting corners one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with cutting corners? I can suggest the ones about cutting edge and cutting tree.
- Why is the oval office oval shaped? Because the government cuts corner.
- Why doesn't Nestle use square bottles? Because they like cutting corners.
- I never trust octagons. They're always lazy, just squares that cut all the corners.
- Why are Wendy's burgers so good? Because they don't cut corners.
- Why do people walk in circles and not in squares? Because they are cutting corners.
- Why was the ticket taker fired? For not cutting corners.
- Why did the pentagon change it's name to the square? Because they were cutting corners.
- Why do restaurants put pizza in square boxes? Because they don't cut corners.
- How did Apple become so successful? By cutting corners.
- The corners of my yard are all overgrown I was always told not to cut them.
- Why does a Belgian have a knife in his car? To cut the corners!
- Why are circles lazy? Because, unlike other shapes, they cut corners
- Why can't Mr Maker Drive? Because he cuts corners.
- So I fired my sphere maker... He kept cutting corners.
- I managed to put a square peg in a round hole But I had to cut corners
Cutting Corners Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about cutting corners you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean cut and paste jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make cutting corners pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Stalin, Kruschev, and Brezhnev are riding a train when it suddenly grinds to a halt.
Stalin says, "I know what to do. We shoot the conductor, the ticket collector, and ten passengers at random. Then the train will run again."
"No, I have a better idea," says Kruchev. "We tell everyone on the train that true communism is just around the corner! Then the train will run again."
"Tovarishi, you're trying too hard," Brezhnev cuts in. "We simply close the curtains, lean back and have a v**..., and *pretend* the train is running!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I've been cutting corners my whole life...
But now I am a well-rounded person, so it worked out pretty well.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A young sheep, out to pasture, is suddenly cornered by a farmer and t**....
The young sheep faints of fright, and when he awakens immediately runs back to his flock.
Bleating wildly, he exclaims how could the farmer do this to me!
A wise elder sheep says, calm down, son. What happened?
The young sheep, still hysterical, cries i was the most beautiful ram in the whole flock! Then the farmer trapped me, put a yellow tag on my ear, cut off my tail, and the worst part is there's a rubber band around my t**...! How could this get any worse?!
The elder sheep looked at the frightened ram and sighed, you might want to sit down, I've got some bad news for ewe.
The 2016 Presidential Election ended in a tie
So then president Obama decided the tie breaker would a race around the White House, with the fastest time being awarded the presidency. Bernie Sanders being the honest man he is went first, but is older and well past his physical prime, completed the race on 17 minutes 46 seconds. Trump being the next man up is in a bit better physical shape in 15 minutes even. Hilary Clinton wanting to assure the country is safe from Donald Trump cuts a few corners to improve her time. At the finish line Obama informs her she ran a time of 10 minutes 17 seconds. "Wow!" Hilary responds "10:17 must be a record!" jumping for joy. "Not exactly" States Obama. "Bush did 9:11"
Cigarette Paper manufacturers are bad at their job because
They cut corners.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A guy walks into a bar and notices a large pile of $10 bills ....
He asks the bartender what the pile of money is about, and the bartender tells him, "We have a long-running contest here. You put in $10, and if you can complete three tasks, you get to walk away with the whole pile."
"What are the three tasks?" asks the man.
"Well, first you have to go over there in the corner, grab that large bottle of tequila, and c**...-a-lug the whole thing in one go without making a face.
"Second, you have to go out back where we keep Killer, our crazy mongrel wild dog, and extract one of his teeth using only your bare hands.
"If you get this far, you're going up to the fourth floor. There's an 80-year-old woman living there. She's a v**..., and you have to deflower her."
"Fine," says the man, "I can do this." He throws down his $10, goes over to the corner, grabs the tequila, and downs the whole thing without making a face. The bar patrons give him a light round of applause.
Already feeling tipsy, he stumbles to the back door. For the next three minutes, horrible, guttural animal sounds emanate. He stumbles back in, hair wild, clothes torn to shreds, covered in cuts, bruises, and blood, and growls, "Alright, now where's that old lady who needs her tooth pulled?"