Cuttin Jokes
14 cuttin jokes and hilarious cuttin puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about cuttin that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Hilarious Fun Cuttin Jokes to Bring Joy & Laughter with Friends
What is a good cuttin joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I've been cutting corners my whole life...
But now I am a well-rounded person, so it worked out pretty well.
Cutting down personal expenses
The business man was worried about his personal finances after a few sloppy years and thought to himself that he'd better start cutting down on private expenses.
Therefore he turned to his wife and said:
"Honey, if you could learn to cook and clean, we wouldn't need our household services."
The wife replied: "Sure. And if you could learn to satisfy me, we wouldn't need the gardener either."
Cutting Pizza - A blonde Joke
A blonde went to buy a Pizza and after ordering, the assistant asked the blonde if she would like her pizza cut into six pieces or twelve.
"Six please" she said, "I could never eat twelve!"
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
i was cutting boards at work...
i was cutting boards at work, as i went to bring my saw down to do a cut a rabbit jumped right on the cutting table and got cut right in half, my boss ran over and said "you just chopped that rabbit in half" and i said "no i cut it in half" to which he responded "now you are just splitting hairs
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I was cutting into an apple the other day and the knife broke as it reached the centre.
... that's pretty h**....
Why does cutting the power to a house save it from being robbed?
It gets a black out
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I like cutting up broccoli because...
It makes me feel like a giant, wielding a tiny anime sword, cutting down tiny trees..
I was cutting up a homemade pizza and exclaimed "wow, this cheese is stringy"
My four year old daughter's reply
"Stringier than a yo-yo"
The most cutting things you can say about someone is, "who's this clown?"
Because it implies that they're a) a clown and b) not even one of the better known clowns.
cutting wood is like making music
once you get in the groove, it gets easier
I was cutting up vegetables in the kitchen...
...and was promptly arrested
Why cutting an offion doesn't make you cry?
Because you didn't turn it on.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Cutting-edge medical procedure
A new father was overjoyed to learn that his wife had just given birth to their first child: a son. However, the doctors informed the couple that their baby boy suffered from a rare but serious birth defect: the child had no eyelids. He had been born perfectly healthy in every other way, but lacked eyelids.
"All hope is not lost, however," the chief resident said. "The muscles and connective tissue appear to be normal, he just lacks the mucous membrane. If we circumcise your little one, we should be able to graft that tissue onto the place where his eyelids should be, and he can live a relatively normal life."
"Ok," the father said after discussing it with his wife,"go ahead and see what you can do for him."
The operation was a resounding success; the baby was blinking normally within a week.
The only problem was that the child ultimately grew up to be c**...-eyed.
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Cuttin One Liners
Which cuttin one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with cuttin? I can suggest the ones about medical and mistake.
- What did the Cheese say to the Grater? How she cuttin'
