The Best 61 Cute Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Cute jokes. There are some cute sweet jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these cute mignon puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Cute Jokes and Puns

I call my wife Bambi. She thinks it's because she's cute with big brown eyes...

But in reality it's because I want someone to shoot her mother with a hunting rifle

My friends say there is a gay guy in our circle of friends

I really hope it's Todd, he's cute.

My girlfriend is just like Bambi

She's cute, sweet, innocent, and I want to shoot her mother

Cute joke, My girlfriend is just like Bambi

They say that 1 out of a group of 5 guys is gay....

I'm really hoping it's Jake, because he's *super cute*.

A Halloween joke for you.

Little Johnny is out trick or treating on Halloween dressed as a pirate. He walked up to a house and said "trick or treat". The little old lady just gushed over his costume. She says to Johnny, "What a cute costume, but let me ask you....Where are your buccaneers?" Little Johnny says back, "They're under my buckin hat lady."


I saw this cute homeless girl on the street..

..so I asked her if I could take her home. She smiled and said "sure", boy the look on her face when I walked off with her cardboard box...

Bunny

A little girl walks into a pet shop. She asks the owner for a bunny, to which he responds "what kind of bunny would you like? A cute black one, an adorable brown one or perhaps a sweet little white one?"

The girl looks at the owner and answers: "I don't think my python really cares..."

Cute joke, Bunny

A cute one I heard from a friend at work.

Three animals walk into a bar; A duck,a skunk and a deer. They go up to the bar and order 3 drinks. "5 dollars" Says the bartender. The deer looks at the duck and says "I don't have a buck to my name!" the skunk cries "I have no money, not even a scent!" but the duck says to the bartender "It's alright, just put it on my bill".

Wittle Wabbit

little girl walks into a pet shop and asks in the sweetest little lisp: "Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep wittle wabbits?"

And the shopkeeper gets down on his knees, so that he's on her level, and asks: "Do you want a wittle white wabby or a soft and fuwwy bwack wabby or maybe one like that cute wittle bwown wabby over there?"

The little girl puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and says in a quiet voice: "I don't fink my pyfon really giveths a thit."

Winter is like the Justin Bieber of seasons...

It was kind of cute and exciting when it first started out, now its a bit obnoxious and should probably just stay in Canada.

Met a cute guy at the bar, gave him my number and told him to text me when he got home

I guess he's homeless.

You can explore cute nice reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean cute cutie dad jokes. There are also cute puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Saw a cute girl at work today.

I told her I get off in five minutes and she smiled. Then I said I finish work in one hour and she left.

My cute younger brother's contribution.

Brother: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Me: Don't know, why?
Brother: To go to the ugly guy's house.
Me: Huh??
Brother: Knock, knock.
Me: Who's there?
Brother: The chicken.

I've been texting this cute dyslexic girl.

I think she likes me, but she keeps sending mixed messages.

A little girl walked into a pet shop and asked in the sweetest lisp: "Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep widdle wabbits?"

As the shop keeper's heart melted, he got down on his knees to her level, asking: "Do you want a widdle white wabbit, or a thoft and fuwwwy bwack wabbit, or maybe one like this cute widdle bwown wabbit over here?"
The little girl leaned forward and said: "I don't fink my pet python weally gives a thit."

Cute names to call your girlfriend with

1.sugar

2.honey

3.flour

4.egg

5.1/2 lb butter

6.stir

7.pour into pan

8.preheat to 375°

Cute joke, Cute names to call your girlfriend with

I told my friends I'm going on a date with a cute girl.

They told me she's imaginary, but joke's on them, so are they.

Someone told me there's a gay guy in my circle of friends...

I hope it's Michael. Hes cute.

I was chatting with this cute 14 y/o online

She said she was an undercover police officer. How cool for someone her age!


What do you call a cute girl in Albania?

A tourist.

I was standing at the bar one night minding my own business.

This FAT ugly chick came up behind me, grabbed my behind and said,
"You're kinda cute. You gotta phone number?"
I said, "Yeah, you gotta pen?"
She said, "Yeah, I got a pen".
I said, "You better get back in it before the farmer misses you."

Best Way To Impress a Girl..

Boy To Gym Coach: "I Wanna Impress Cute Girl, I'm Gonna Meet In 3 Days Which Machine Should I Use?" Coach: "Use The ATM Machine Outside The Gym"

A middle school boy comes home crying...

His dad asks, "What's wrong, son?" "A boy at school called me gay!" the son replied. The dad then says, "Well, if he does it again, you can punch him in the face." The boy then stated, "But he's cute!"

A woman gives birth to a bouncing baby boy...

(Sorry if repost, I did a search)

A woman gives birth to a bouncing baby boy and the doctor hands him to her, remarking, "That's a cute baby!"

Mom says, "Oh I bet you say that about every baby you deliver."

Doctor says, "No no, only when they're really cute."

"What do you say when they're ugly?"

"He looks just like his mother!"

(ROGUE ONE SPOILER) So the nickname...

Throughout the movie, you see Galen calls Jyn his stardust, I thought it was pretty cute.

I just didn't expect it to be so literal though.

2 men are sitting on a bench in a park, filled with children. Kids are having fun.

Man 1: "Kids are amazing. Look at them, playing, socializing... so cute!"

Man 2: "Yup."

Man 1: "My Timmy, right over there, likes to play soccer with his friends."

Man 2: "Cool."

Man 1: "Hey, which one is yours?"

Man 2: "Haven't decided yet..."

MOM! I'm being called gay in school.

Who is calling you that son?

A bunch of cute boys.

I went up to this really cute homeless girl and asked if I could take her home

She looked ecstatic until I picked up her box and started walking away

They say one in ten men are homosexual

In my group of friends I'm pretty sure it's Marc. He's really cute

Guys I just recently bought a 256GB iPhone 7 Plus, my son dropped it and the screen shattered. Anyways I'm doing a giveaway!

The kid is 8 years old, cute, thin and not really tall.

I call my wife Bambi and she thinks it's because she's cute with big brown eyes...

Actually, it's because I shot her mother with a hunting rifle...

My friends say one of us is gay.

I really hope it's Todd... he's cute.

What's the similarity between a joke and a small, cute, furry mammal?

They both die when dissected

I was about to smoke weed with a couple cute Mexican girls...

I asked them if they had papers. They immediately ran off.

I told two twins their matching outfits are cute...

"Did your mom buy you matching clothes?" I asked politely.

To which they answered, "We're not twins and could we see your license and registration please."

Son: Dad, a guy called me gay at the school today

Dad: Punch him in the face.

Son: But he is so cute.

The nurse told the parents of a newly born child, "You have a cute baby."

The smiling husband said, "I bet you say that to all new parents."

"No," she replied, "just to those whose babies really are good-looking."

The husband again asked "So what do you say to the others?"

The nurse replied, "The baby looks just like you."

Got checked out by cute girl

The total was $3.92

A cute girl winked at me

She must be extra interested because she winked with both eyes.

Wife: "How would you describe me?" Husband Says..

Wife: "How would you describe me?"

Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK."

Wife: "What does that mean?"

Husband: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot."

Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?"

Husband: "I'm just kidding!"

[Religion]A man sees a boy with a box of kittens

The man goes over and says "Oh what cute kittens!" The boy replies "Yes they are Christian kittens". About a week later the man sees the boy again with the same batch of kittens. Once again he walks over and says "my, those are just adorable!" The boy replies "Yes, they are atheist kittens" The man asks "wait, weren't they christian before?" The boy looks at the man and says "Yeah but they have their eyes open now.

A little girl walks into a pet shop

A little girl walks into a pet shop and asks in the sweetest little lisp, "Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep wittle wabbits?"

The shopkeeper bends down to her level, smiling, "Do you want a wittle white wabby or a soft and fuwwy bwack wabby, or maybe one like that cute wittle bwown wabby over there?"

The little girl leans forward and whispers, "I don't fink my pyfon really giveths a thit."

A girl once told me, If you lost about 50 pounds you'd be cute

I told her, if I lost 50 pounds I'd be talking to your friends!

Four guys are hanging out.

One of them says, Hey, did you know 1 out of ever 4 guys is gay?

Larry says, I hope it's chuck because he's really cute.

My friends suggested I use tinder to meet some cute firemen or policemen

Once it started to burn, I met so many! I even met a reporter and some lawyers!

My wife has just been diagnosed with breast cancer...

Doctor told us that mastectomy will be necessary.

Today, I went online to see if there is any alternative...

Emma, 28 years old, NY. Looks cute...

My friends say there is someone gay in our friend circle...

I hope is john, he's really cute

A man, his wife and his friend just finished diner

"It was absolutely delicious, honey! Thank you so much, princess." says the man to his wife in the kitchen. "Could you please fetch us two beers later, baby?"

His friend says: "It is very cute that you still have nicknames for her after so long time."

The man responds: "Well, I forgot her name like three years ago, so I give her nicknames to cover it up. But seriously don't tell her, amigo!"

My hot flight attendant asked how I like my coffee

Trying to sound cool, I told her I like my coffee like I like my women. And that's when she told me "That's cute honey, but the coffee's free. You don't have to pay for it here!"

Ivanka Trump is walking a dog outside the White House...

A Secret Service agent sees her and says "Good Morning, Ma'am."

"Good morning." She replies.

"That's a very cute dog, ma'am." the agent says trying to make polite small talk.

"Oh, thank you. I got it for the President." She replies with a smile.

"Excellent trade, Ma'am."

Guys i just bought a 256GB iPhone 11, my brother dropped it and the screen shattered. Anyways I'm doing a giveaway!

The kid is 6 years old, cute, thin and not really tall.

Rumor has it there is a homosexual in our office.

I hope it's Craig he's really cute.

I was at a restaurant and a cute waitress was flirting with me. She gave her email and told me to hit her up sometime. I tried to email her the next day but the internet was down.

I couldn't connect to the server

A little girl goes to the pet store

She ask the owner of the store if he has any bunnies.

Well sure sweetie! He says and takes her to where the bunnies are, I have a few different bunnies I have this white one with floppy ears, or this fluffy little brown one, or I even have this cute one with black spots! What kind of bunny did you have in mind?

So the little girl looks over the bunnies and then back to the pet store owner and replies, quite frankly mister I don't think my snake gives a damn.

My roommate always complains about two of my weaknesses.

One was : 'You always get distracted sooooo easily!'

And the other one was the fact that there's a cute little spider on the ceiling.

I call my wife Bambi, she thinks it's because she is cute with big brown eyes.

But in reality I just hope someone shoots her mother with a hunting rifle.

My kitten won top prize in a cute competition.

Unfortunately, they messed up the award... Instead of making it in the shape of a kitty's face they made it into a kitty's behind!!

It's a real cat-ass-trophy!

My wife said to come out of the closet already...

I said stop buying so many cute dresses then.

Same service...

A husband visited a marriage counselor and said, "When we were first married, I would come home from the office, my wife would bring me water and our cute little dog would run around barking. Now after ten years it\`s all different. I come home, the dog brings the water and my wife runs around barking."
"Why complain ?" said the counselor, "You re still getting the same service!"

What do you call a cute door?

Adoorable

In every friend group, apparently 1 out of 10 people are gay.

I hope it's Tyler, he's super cute.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the cute aww jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working cute goofy piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes