cute Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious cute puns

I call my wife Bambi. She thinks it's because she's cute with big brown eyes...

But in reality it's because I want someone to shoot her mother with a hunting rifle

👍🏼

My friends say there is a gay guy in our circle of friends

I really hope it's Todd, he's cute.

👍🏼

A girl once told me, If you lost about 50 pounds you'd be cute

I told her, if I lost 50 pounds I'd be talking to your friends!

👍🏼

I call my wife Bambi

She thinks it's because she's cute with big brown eyes. But it's really because I want someone to shoot her mother with a hunting rifle.

**

👍🏼

I went up to this really cute homeless girl and asked if I could take her home

She looked ecstatic until I picked up her box and started walking away

👍🏼

I call my wife Bambi. She thinks it's because she's cute with big brown eyes....

Actually, it's because I would like someone to shoot her mother with a hunting rifle...

👍🏼

They say one in ten men are homosexual

In my group of friends I'm pretty sure it's Marc. He's really cute

👍🏼

At the grocery store, I went to the checkout line with the cute cashier...

I started unloading my groceries onto the belt.

Package of Ramen noodles.
Quart of milk.
Half a dozen eggs.
A couple of frozen dinners.

As she is scanning the items, she looks up and smiles, "so, you're single, huh?"

I look at my groceries and smile back. "Yeah, ha, what gave it away?"

"Because you're fucking ugly."

👍🏼

Guys I just recently bought a 256GB iPhone 7 Plus, my son dropped it and the screen shattered. Anyways I'm doing a giveaway!

The kid is 8 years old, cute, thin and not really tall.

👍🏼

A little girl walks into a pet shop

A little girl walks into a pet shop and asks in the sweetest little lisp, "Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep wittle wabbits?"

The shopkeeper bends down to her level, smiling, "Do you want a wittle white wabby or a soft and fuwwy bwack wabby, or maybe one like that cute wittle bwown wabby over there?"

The little girl leans forward and whispers, "I don't fink my pyfon really giveths a thit."

👍🏼

Someone told me there's a gay guy in my circle of friends...

I hope it's Michael. Hes cute.

👍🏼

MOM! I'm being called gay in school.

Who is calling you that son?

A bunch of cute boys.

👍🏼

So I've been talking to this cute 14 year old and now she's telling me she's an undercover cop

How fucking cool is that for someone her age?

👍🏼

The nurse told the parents of a newly born child, "You have a cute baby."

The smiling husband said, "I bet you say that to all new parents."

"No," she replied, "just to those whose babies really are good-looking."

The husband again asked "So what do you say to the others?"

The nurse replied, "The baby looks just like you."

👍🏼

I was about to smoke weed with a couple cute Mexican girls...

I asked them if they had papers. They immediately ran off.

👍🏼

A middle school boy comes home crying...

His dad asks, "What's wrong, son?" "A boy at school called me gay!" the son replied. The dad then says, "Well, if he does it again, you can punch him in the face." The boy then stated, "But he's cute!"

👍🏼

Saw a cute girl at work today.

I told her I get off in five minutes and she smiled. Then I said I finish work in one hour and she left.

👍🏼

They say that 1 out of a group of 5 guys is gay....

I'm really hoping it's Jake, because he's *super cute*.

👍🏼

Met a cute guy at the bar, gave him my number and told him to text me when he got home

I guess he's homeless.

👍🏼

I saw this cute homeless girl on the street..

..so I asked her if I could take her home. She smiled and said "sure", boy the look on her face when I walked off with her cardboard box...

👍🏼

Got checked out by cute girl

The total was $3.92

👍🏼

Son: Dad, a guy called me gay at the school today

Dad: Punch him in the face.

Son: But he is so cute.

👍🏼

My friend told me there is a gay guy in our circle of friends...

I really hope its Todd, he's cute.

👍🏼

I told my friends I'm going on a date with a cute girl.

They told me she's imaginary, but joke's on them, so are they.

👍🏼

I told two twins their matching outfits are cute...

"Did your mom buy you matching clothes?" I asked politely.

To which they answered, "We're not twins and could we see your license and registration please."

👍🏼

After being married for thirty years, a wife asked her husband to describe her.

He looked at her for a while, and then said, "You're A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K."


She asked, "What does that mean?"


He said, "Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Foxy, Gorgeous, Hot."


She smiled happily and said, "Oh, that's so lovely. What about I, J, K?"


He said, "I'm Just Kidding!"

👍🏼

A cute girl winked at me

She must be extra interested because she winked with both eyes.

👍🏼

Cute names to call your girlfriend with

1.sugar

2.honey

3.flour

4.egg

5.1/2 lb butter

6.stir

7.pour into pan

8.preheat to 375°

👍🏼

My friends say one of us is gay.

I really hope it's Todd... he's cute.

👍🏼

My wife has just been diagnosed with breast cancer...

Doctor told us that mastectomy will be necessary.

Today, I went online to see if there is any alternative...

Emma, 28 years old, NY. Looks cute...

👍🏼

I've been texting this cute dyslexic girl.

I think she likes me, but she keeps sending mixed messages.

👍🏼

I recently bought a 256GB iPhone X, my son dropped it and the screen shattered. Anyway, I'm doing a giveaway.

The kid is 8 years old, cute, thin and not very tall.

👍🏼

I call my wife Bambi and she thinks it's because she's cute with big brown eyes...

Actually, it's because I shot her mother with a hunting rifle...

👍🏼

A cute one I heard from a friend at work.

Three animals walk into a bar; A duck,a skunk and a deer. They go up to the bar and order 3 drinks. "5 dollars" Says the bartender. The deer looks at the duck and says "I don't have a buck to my name!" the skunk cries "I have no money, not even a scent!" but the duck says to the bartender "It's alright, just put it on my bill".

👍🏼

[Religion]A man sees a boy with a box of kittens

The man goes over and says "Oh what cute kittens!" The boy replies "Yes they are Christian kittens". About a week later the man sees the boy again with the same batch of kittens. Once again he walks over and says "my, those are just adorable!" The boy replies "Yes, they are atheist kittens" The man asks "wait, weren't they christian before?" The boy looks at the man and says "Yeah but they have their eyes open now.

👍🏼

What are the most funny Cute jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Cute? Well, here are the best Cute dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Cute pick up lines to share with friends.

Joko Jokes