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Cut Thumb Jokes

6 cut thumb jokes and hilarious cut thumb puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about cut thumb that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Cut Thumb Funny Jokes to Tell Your Friends and Kids.

What is a good cut thumb joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.

I just cut my thumb while slicing French bread...

You could say that I was hoisted by my own batard.

My snarky boss nicked his thumb with a knife and missed two days of work.

I need your help with puns or cutting remarks.

d**..., just cut my thumb off with the tablesaw after I bent over to pick up what I thought was a thumb (ironically enough) off the ground

You win thumb, you lose thumb.

I cut my thumb chopping onions...

...in such a way as to make applying appropriate pressure difficult. I made my way to the ER. They weren't busy, so the doctor came over to dress my wound. I expressed frustration over my lack in first aid and the persistent crimson flow. In a matter-of-fact tone, he reassured me, "Don't worry; all of my patients stop bleeding eventually."

Two Irish brothers are applying for Work Visas to Australia.

The first brother enters his interview, quickly walks out, gives a thumbs-up and says to his brother I'm in!"
The second brother takes this as a sure sign that he will join him, and walks confidently into his interview.
So Mr... Patrick O'Malley , the interviewer begins. What skills can you bring to Australia?
Patrick explains: Well, I'm a turf cutter. The best there is! My father was a turf cutter. His father was a turf cutter...
That's a shame , interrupts the interviewer. They don't really need turf cutters in Australia. There's just not that much turf.
But you let me brother in!
That's because your brother is a pilot. Pilots are high in demand.
Patrick cries: But if I don't *cut it*, he can't *pile it*!

Two Irish brothers are applying for working Visas to Australia.

The first brother enters his interview, and quickly walks out, gives a thumbs-up and says to his brother I'm in!
The second brother takes this as a sure sign that he will join him, and walks confidently into his interview.
So Mr... Patrick O'Malley , the interviewer begins. What can you bring to Australia's economy . Patrick explains: Well, I'm a turf cutter. The best there is! My father was a turf cutter. His father was a turf cutter...
That's a shame , interrupts the interviewer. They don't really need turf cutters in Australia. There's just not that much turf.
But you let me brother in!
That's because your brother is a pilot. Pilots are in high demand.
Patrick cries: But if I don't cut it, he can't pile it!

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