Customer Service Jokes

Following is our collection of order humor and businesses one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Customer Service puns for adults, dirty telemarketing jokes or clean shoppers gags for kids.

There is an abundance of man jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 51 funniest jokes on customer service. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any consumers witze you can hear about customer service.

The Best jokes about Customer Service

What's a Pirate's least favourite letter?

Dear Customer,

Due to recent illegal activities that have been performed through your connection, your internet service has been permanently disconnected.

-Sincerely, your ISP.

How to win the war on drugs

1) legalize all drugs.
2) require that all drugs be purchased through Comcast customer service.

What's a pirate's least favorite letter?

Dear customer,

We are discontinuing your internet service due to suspicious activity/illegal downloading on your network.

What's a pirate's LEAST favorite letter?

Dear Customer,



Your internet service has been terminated due to copyright infringement.

A guy walks into an auto-parts store...

He approaches the customer service counter and is greeted by a young, attractive female with golden blonde hair.

He says "I didn't expect to see such a young beautiful woman in a shop like this...what's your name?"

She points to her name-tag, and with a cute smile replies "Carmen. I changed my name a few years ago because I like cars, and I also like men. So, I came up with Carmen."

The guy replied, "Coincidentally, I changed my name too!"

"Really?" Asked the girl. "What is it?"

"Beerpussy"


I'm not trying to say that the customer service in my bank is bad...

But when i went in the other day, and asked the clerk to check my balance... she leaned over and pushed me.

A blind man walks in to a department store

A blind man walks in to a department store with his seeing eye dog on a leash.

As usual the store manager behind the customer service counter looks up, but he notices the customer is blind, and not wanting to stare quickly looks away again.

Out of the corner of his eye the manager sees the blind man start swinging the dog over his head with its leash.

Shocked, the manager runs over and says "Mister is there a problem - is there anything I can help you with?"

The blind man calmly replies "No thanks - I'm just looking around."

True meaning of Service.

At one time in my life, I thought I had a handle on the meaning of the word "service."

"It's the act of doing things for other people." Then I heard these terms which reference the word service:

* Internal Revenue Service
* Postal Service
* Telephone Service
* Civil Service
* City & County Public Service
* Customer Service
* Service Stations

Then I became confused about the word "service." This is not what I thought "service" meant.

So today, I overheard two farmers talking, and one of them said he had hired a bull to "service" a few of his cows. Suddenly, it all came into perspective. Now I understand what all those "service" agencies are all about.

I hope you now are as enlightened as I am.

A blonde joke

A blonde goes to the store to return her TV she just bought. She takes it to the customer service desk and tells the employee that her TV is defective and would like to return it for a working model.
The employee looks at her and says "I'm sorry but we do not serve blondes".
The lady comes back to the next day wearing a brown wig and attempts to return her TV. The salesman looks at her and says "I'm sorry but we don't serve blondes here."
The Lady comes back again the next day with a black wig and attempts to return her TV. The salesman says the same thing "I'm sorry but we do not serve blondes here."
Confused, the lady asks how the salesman knew she was a blonde with the wig.
The salesman replies "This is a microwave".

A hairdresser got arrested for dealing drugs and running an escort service.

Unbelievable. Been a customer for years and I never knew he was a hairdresser!

A blind man complained to customer service

He showed the employee a cheese grater and said "This is the worst book I've ever read"


Comcast's Customer Service

ba dum tsss

Wow a lot of police in my neighbourhood tonight...

Apparently, the barber got arrested. He was dealing in drugs and running an escort service. Crazy how you think that you know someone, have been customer for years! Never knew he was a barber too...

I run a mail order bride service based out of Prague.

I had a customer call and complain the other day about his order not arriving. It was alright though, I just reassured him that his Czech was in the mail.

So i went to Walmart today...

... and asked customer service for gta5. She was confused so I told her that it was a game with a black guy who crashed his car, sleeps with prostitutes, and attacks people with his golf club. She came later with Tiger Woods PGA 2010.

I'm on a customer help live chat right now and the message tone sounds like someone hitting a tennis ball.

Now that's service.

A Latino gang member has received poor customer service at the railway station, so he vandalised one of the train engines in revenge.

It was a loco motive.

Most Airlines claim to have claim their customer service is "unbeatable"

Only United can say its is "undefeated"

A TV repair man goes on a call to fix a TV.

When he arrives, he notes the make and model of the TV. He walks off to the side and smacks the TV. Instantly the TV starts to work again, the picture is better than ever. He then walks back to the dumbfound customer and hands him a bill for $200. The customer balks at the bill. "$200?! There's no way I'm paying you unless you can justify a $200 bill just for smacking the TV." The the repairman takes back the bill and re-writes it.

Services Rendered:

* Smacking the TV - $0.00

* Knowing where to smack - $200.00


Comcast's newest commercial really gave me a laugh.

They boasted their fast internet speeds, lower prices, and amazing customer service. Not to mention how they boasted supporting net neutrality.

Are there two companies named Comcast?

I work in Customer Service

because I'm really good at apologizing for things that aren't my fault.

What's customer service's favorite word?

Unfortunately...

Definition of Service

I became confused when I heard the word
"Service" being used with these agencies:

1. Internal Revenue "Service"

2. U.S. Postal "Service"

3. Telephone "Service"

4. Cable T.V. "Service"

5. Civil "Service"

6. State, City, County & Public "Service"

7. Customer "Service"

This is not what I thought "Service" meant.

But today I overheard two farmers talking,
and one of them said he had hired a bull to
"Service" a few cows.

……….BAM!.......It all came into focus for me.

CUT TO THE PAST

Ian is a barber and one day after servicing a haircut, a customer instead of money, gives him a crystal sphere and Ian, not wanting to argue and especially liking the sphere, accepts it.

He presses the Sphere and suddenly he's transported to ancient Egypt with all the scissor and blades in hand.

The Greeks spot him and yell 'BarberIan'.

A man phones the customer service of a beer company.

A man phones the customer service of a beer company.
Customer service: "Hello, what can I help you with today?"
Man: "There is something wrong with your beer, it made me blow chunks!"
Customer service: "Well ya, it'll do that."
Man: "No I don't think you understand... Chunks is my dog!"

Stoned people jokes

A stoned student was copying whatever the teacher writes on the black board, but every time the teacher clears the blackboard he throws away the paper.

2 stoned men were speaking to each other one said 'i am freezing from the air conditioner'' the other replied " i am jack, from Florida''.

A stoner called the airlines to ask how long a flight to China would take, the customer service said '' 1 second'', he said thanks and hanged the phone.

2 stoners were listening to the 9:00 oo'clock news, one asked '' why is this news talking so long'' the other replied ''maybe it's the final episode''

United Airlines new customer service motto: If you can't beat 'em....

....BEAT 'EM!

Sony's Customer Service

Prostitution:

Taking "customer service" to a whole new level.

Why are trees so bad at customer service?

It's their wooden demeanor.

Investing in an assisted suicide centre has its pros and cons

The service is non-refundable but there are no repeat customers

When robots take over retail jobs...

...will customers complain about poorly programmed customer service?

My Car Won't Drive At Night

The service department of a BMW dealership took a call. The customer stated that his car, a 380i, will not drive at night.

The advisor, flummoxed at this, asks for more detail.

"You see," the owner replies, "when it is daytime, I put the car in 'D' and it drives like a dream."

"But when I put it in 'N' for Nighttime....'"

A clothing store down the street from me has gotten really lazy with their customer service

I just saw them put up a sign that says "Suit yourself!"

I talked to a guy named Youssef today from customer service

I rated him 5 stars for being yousseful

Seeing Eye Dog lol

A blind man walks in to a department store with his seeing eye dog on a leash.

The store manager behind the customer service counter looks up, notices the customer is blind, and quickly looks away again.

Out of the corner of his eye he sees the blind man start swinging the dog over his head with its leash. S

hocked, the manager runs over and says, "Mister, is there a problem – is there something I can help you with?" The blind man calmly replies, "No thanks – I'm just looking around

The Problem With New Jeans

I was at the customer-service desk, returning a pair of jeans that was too tight.

Was anything wrong with them? the clerk asked.

Yes, I said. They hurt my 
feelings.

Amazon are launching their full online supermarket service in London today

All customers will be forced to accept cookies

The company next door had to close after losing all customers and their new CEO was fired

Apparently Open House is not the thing to do for someone specialized in security services

The quickest way to lose faith in Humanity

Customer service jobs.

I think you press "0" to be connected with customer service because that's the amount of help they give you.

"Have you got any books on customer service?"

Librarian: probably...somewhere...

My customer service rep asked if everything was good, after I posed the same Q in three different ways

I said, I like my answers like I like my butter: clarified.

Modern Turing Test: When calling a Customer Service, how do you know when you are talking to the robot, or the human worker?

The robot doesn't interrupt you as much.

How do you stop a rhinoceros from charging?

Call customer service to dispute the purchase.

Customer service put me on hold, but there was a good orchestra playing.

It was classy-call music.

Topical Jokes for 1/12

The White House said that not sending a senior official to the Paris liberty march was a mistake. Joe Biden was supposed to fly there, but he's not allowed on a plane unless he's accompanied by an adult.

United Airlines is considering outsourcing jobs to cut costs. From now on, one lucky passenger will get to fly the plane, while being fed instructions from a customer-service rep in Mumbai.

In North Carolina, a woman accidentally shot her husband when he surprised her with breakfast in bed. The woman then saw he was carrying breakfast from Taco Bell -- and shot him again.

Why didn't the movie star argue with the customer service clerk?

He didn't have a good counter act.

Magento Development Sevice

With ecommerce gaining huge popularity worldwide, hiring a professional magento development service provides attractive features for ecommerce websites. With a professional service, one can get customized solutions for trade websites.

After a number of attempts to get the customer service agent on the phone to understand his name, my Asian American friend Appappa decided to spell it out.
"A for apple," he began. "P for pineapple, p for pineapple, a for apple, p for pineapple, p forβ€”"
The flustered agent interrupted.
"I have a better idea," she said. "Just tell me how many apples and how many pineapples."

A woman called our airline customer-service desk asking if she could take her dog on board.


"Sure," I said, "as long as you provide your own kennel."
I further explained that the kennel needed to be large enough for the dog to stand up, sit down, turn around, and roll over.
The customer was flummoxed: "I'll never be able to teach him all of that by tomorrow!"

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes