Customer Service Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Customer Service jokes. There are some customer service businesses jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these customer service secret service puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Laughable Customer Service Jokes for Instant Grins & Giggles

A woman called our airline customer-service desk asking if she could take her dog on board.



"Sure," I said, "as long as you provide your own kennel."

I further explained that the kennel needed to be large enough for the dog to stand up, sit down, turn around, and roll over.

The customer was flummoxed: "I'll never be able to teach him all of that by tomorrow!"

A woman stopped by our customer-service desk and asked me for a copy of the book that has Jesus in it.

After much back-and-forth, I determined that she wanted the Bible.

After searching for a particular book on dinosaurs in the science section without luck, a customer looked to me for help.

She showed me a piece of paper with the title written on it: Thesaurus.

I think you press "0" to be connected with customer service because that's the amount of help they give you.

A Latino gang member has received poor customer service at the railway station, so he vandalised one of the train engines in revenge.

It was a loco motive.

jokes about customer service

I'm not trying to say that the customer service in my bank is bad...

But when i went in the other day, and asked the clerk to check my balance... she leaned over and pushed me.

Comcast's Customer Service

ba dum tsss

So i went to Walmart today...

... and asked customer service for gta5. She was confused so I told her that it was a game with a black guy who crashed his car, sleeps with prostitutes, and attacks people with his golf club. She came later with Tiger Woods PGA 2010.

Customer Service joke, So i went to Walmart today...

Magento Development Sevice

With ecommerce gaining huge popularity worldwide, hiring a professional magento development service provides attractive features for ecommerce websites. With a professional service, one can get customized solutions for trade websites.

Sony's Customer Service

My Car Won't Drive At Night

The service department of a BMW dealership took a call. The customer stated that his car, a 380i, will not drive at night.

The advisor, flummoxed at this, asks for more detail.

"You see," the owner replies, "when it is daytime, I put the car in 'D' and it drives like a dream."

"But when I put it in 'N' for Nighttime....'"

A man phones the customer service of a beer company.

A man phones the customer service of a beer company.
Customer service: "Hello, what can I help you with today?"
Man: "There is something wrong with your beer, it made me blow chunks!"
Customer service: "Well ya, it'll do that."
Man: "No I don't think you understand... Chunks is my dog!"

You can explore customer service order reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean customer service telemarketing dad jokes. There are also customer service puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

How to win the war on drugs

1) legalize all drugs.
2) require that all drugs be purchased through Comcast customer service.

The Problem With New Jeans

I was at the customer-service desk, returning a pair of jeans that was too tight.

Was anything wrong with them? the clerk asked.

Yes, I said. They hurt my 
feelings.

When robots take over retail jobs...

...will customers complain about poorly programmed customer service?

Amazon are launching their full online supermarket service in London today

All customers will be forced to accept cookies

I talked to a guy named Youssef today from customer service

I rated him 5 stars for being yousseful

Customer Service joke, I talked to a guy named Youssef today from customer service

What's a pirate's least favorite letter?

Dear customer,

We are discontinuing your internet service due to suspicious activity/illegal downloading on your network.

My customer service rep asked if everything was good, after I posed the same Q in three different ways

I said, I like my answers like I like my butter: clarified.

A clothing store down the street from me has gotten really lazy with their customer service

I just saw them put up a sign that says "Suit yourself!"

United Airlines new customer service motto: If you can't beat 'em....

....BEAT 'EM!

Most Airlines claim to have claim their customer service is "unbeatable"

Only United can say its is "undefeated"

A blind man complained to customer service

He showed the employee a cheese grater and said "This is the worst book I've ever read"

What's a pirate's LEAST favorite letter?

Dear Customer,

Your internet service has been terminated due to copyright infringement.

What's a Pirate's least favourite letter?

Dear Customer,

Due to recent illegal activities that have been performed through your connection, your internet service has been permanently disconnected.

-Sincerely, your ISP.

I run a mail order bride service based out of Prague.

I had a customer call and complain the other day about his order not arriving. It was alright though, I just reassured him that his Czech was in the mail.

Why are trees so bad at customer service?

It's their wooden demeanor.

Customer Service joke, Why are trees so bad at customer service?

Comcast's newest commercial really gave me a laugh.

They boasted their fast internet speeds, lower prices, and amazing customer service. Not to mention how they boasted supporting net neutrality.

Are there two companies named Comcast?

Prostitution:

Taking "customer service" to a whole new level.

What's customer service's favorite word?

Unfortunately...

The company next door had to close after losing all customers and their new CEO was fired

Apparently Open House is not the thing to do for someone specialized in security services

Modern Turing Test: When calling a Customer Service, how do you know when you are talking to the robot, or the human worker?

The robot doesn't interrupt you as much.

CUT TO THE PAST

Ian is a barber and one day after servicing a haircut, a customer instead of money, gives him a crystal sphere and Ian, not wanting to argue and especially liking the sphere, accepts it.

He presses the Sphere and suddenly he's transported to ancient Egypt with all the scissor and blades in hand.

The Greeks spot him and yell 'BarberIan'.

"Have you got any books on customer service?"

Librarian: probably...somewhere...

Wow a lot of police in my neighbourhood tonight...

Apparently, the barber got arrested. He was dealing in drugs and running an escort service. Crazy how you think that you know someone, have been customer for years! Never knew he was a barber too...

A hairdresser got arrested for dealing drugs and running an escort service.

Unbelievable. Been a customer for years and I never knew he was a hairdresser!

I'm on a customer help live chat right now and the message tone sounds like someone hitting a tennis ball.

Now that's service.

Why didn't the movie star argue with the customer service clerk?

He didn't have a good counter act.

I work in Customer Service

because I'm really good at apologizing for things that aren't my fault.

Investing in an assisted suicide centre has its pros and cons

The service is non-refundable but there are no repeat customers

The quickest way to lose faith in Humanity

Customer service jobs.

Customer service at restaurants is HORRIBLE.

Every time I use one of their restrooms, I see "Employees must wash hands" on the mirror. So I wait for HOURS, but not ONCE has an employee EVER showed up to wash them for me.

I called AMC customer service to ask if I could use popcorn vouchers to cover a margin call.

The short answer is no.

I tried having my mother's phone disconnected, but customer service told me that since the account was in my dad's name, he'd have to be the one to put in the request.....

The fact that he'd been dead for 40 years didn't sway the rep. Then a solution hit me: If I stop paying the bill, you can turn off the service, right?

Well, yes, she said reluctantly. But that would ruin his credit.

3 men in a bar

3 men are in a bar talking about which tavern has the best customer service. Man 1 says; I know a place that gives you a free drink for every 5 you buy. Man 2 says; You think that's good I know a place where for every 2 drinks you get a free third. Man 3 says; Even better, I have heard of a place where you can drink all night free and then you get laid. The other men are amazed and ask where they can find that bar...and man 3 says: I am not sure, You'll have to ask my sister, she goes there every night

A woman called our airline customer-service desk asking if she could take her dog on board.

Sure, I said, as long as you provide your own kennel.

I further explained that the kennel needed to be large enough for the dog to stand up, sit down, turn around, and roll over.

The customer was flummoxed: I'll never be able to teach him all of that by tomorrow!

I got a psychic reading that said I was going to die happy.

The next day I went and got a job in customer service so I'd live forever.

Amazon has started a new service where they deliver custom made shirts within 48 hours of ordering.

It's called Tailor Swift.

I ordered a deck of cards from Amazon and two weeks later it hasn't arrived.

Customer service told me they're dealing with it.

A woman calls customer service..

"Hi, I bought a maternity dress through your site and I want to cancel the order." she says.

The service rep says, "Sure, I can do that for you.. but I'd also like to get your feedback; may I ask why?"

"Yeah," says the customer. "My delivery was faster than yours was."

I bought a treadmill as part of my New Year's resolution to get in shape.

I've been using it for months and still don't feel like I'm getting anywhere.


UPDATE: tried to return it but customer service is giving me the runaround.

How many customer service representatives does it take to change a lightbulb?

Your upvote is very important to us, please be assured that we will make the punchline available to you as soon as possible.

A blonde called her car customer service saying she could only drive her car during the day. During the night, it didn't move at all.

A mechanic comes and after an inspection couldnt find anything wrong.

"You sure you put the right fuel?"
"Yup. Petrol"

Eventually, he asks her if shes using the right gears.

She says, "Of course, I'm not stupid. I'm using D during the day and N during the night"

Amazon has come up with a new service where they deliver custom made suits within 48 hours.

It's called Tailor Swift.

Today I learned what the CIA is replacing water boarding with.

Verizon Wireless customer service.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the customer service shoppers puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working customer service customer support piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes