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Customer Service Jokes

70 customer service jokes and hilarious customer service puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about customer service that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Best Short Customer Service Jokes

Short customer service jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The customer service humour may include short customer support jokes also.

  1. How to win the war on drugs 1) legalize all drugs.
    2) require that all drugs be purchased through Comcast customer service.
  2. What's a pirate's LEAST favorite letter? Dear Customer,
    Your internet service has been terminated due to copyright infringement.
  3. Today I learned what the CIA is replacing water boarding with. Verizon Wireless customer service.
  4. I'm not trying to say that the customer service in my bank is bad... But when i went in the other day, and asked the clerk to check my balance... she leaned over and pushed me.
  5. I got a psychic reading that said I was going to die happy. The next day I went and got a job in customer service so I'd live forever.
  6. I ordered a deck of cards from Amazon and two weeks later it hasn't arrived. Customer service told me they're dealing with it.
  7. Amazon has come up with a new service where they deliver custom made suits within 48 hours. It's called Tailor Swift.
  8. A blind man complained to customer service He showed the employee a cheese grater and said "This is the worst book I've ever read"
  9. Honeymoon Sandwich I work in customer service and yesterday an old guy called just to share a joke with me and make me smile.
    What's a honeymoon sandwich?
    Lettuce alone with no dressing!
  10. I'm on a customer help live chat right now and the message tone sounds like someone hitting a tennis ball. Now that's service.

Quick Jump To


Customer Service joke, I'm on a customer help live chat right now and the message tone sounds like someone hitting a tennis


Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about customer service can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of customer service puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

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Customer Service One Liners

Which customer service one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with customer service? I can suggest the ones about service management and call center.

  1. Comcast's Customer Service ba dum tsss
  2. What's customer service's favorite word? Unfortunately...
  3. Sony's Customer Service
  4. If the customer is always right, then why isn't everything free?
  5. United Airlines new customer service motto: If you can't beat 'em.... ....BEAT 'EM!
  6. Prostitution: Taking "customer service" to a whole new level.
  7. Why are trees so bad at customer service? It's their wooden demeanor.
  8. The quickest way to lose faith in Humanity Customer service jobs.
  9. "Have you got any books on customer service?" Librarian: probably...somewhere...
  10. If A is for adequate customer service, B must be for Bethesda /s
  11. What did the flashlight say to customer service I'd like to speak to your headlight
  12. Steam customer service
  13. It's so quiet in the Hollywood Starbucks this morning, you can hear a name drop.
  14. United Airlines Still better customer service than the VA
  15. Valve improving their customer service.

Customer Service Rep Jokes

Here is a list of funny customer service rep jokes and even better customer service rep puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • My customer service rep asked if everything was good, after I posed the same Q in three different ways I said, I like my answers like I like my butter: clarified.
  • I drink to forget that I accidentally once said "I love you" when ending a call with a customer service rep.
Customer Service joke

Laughable Customer Service Jokes for Instant Grins & Giggles

What funny jokes about customer service you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean service jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make customer service prank.

A woman called our airline customer-service desk asking if she could take her dog on board.


"Sure," I said, "as long as you provide your own kennel."
I further explained that the kennel needed to be large enough for the dog to stand up, sit down, turn around, and roll over.
The customer was flummoxed: "I'll never be able to teach him all of that by tomorrow!"

Most of our music store customers have a story about their old vinyl collection.


Once, a man asked how much a record cost.
My coworker quoted him the price, then added, "But there's a surcharge if we have to listen to how your mother made you throw out all your old vinyl records."

A waiter walks up to a table of old ladies eating their lunch and asks, "Is anything OK?"

An aching back sent me stumbling to the drugstore for relief.


After a search, I found what I was looking for: a selection of heating pads specifically for people with back pain—all on the bottom shelf.

Johny went to the butchery, because he wanted to buy a little brain, so he has asked the saleswoman: "have you got a little brain?"
The saleswoman has said: "yes, we have."
Johny has asked her: "and is the little brain still fresh?"
The saleswoman has said: "yes, yesterday he has successfully solved the crossword puzzles."

One day little Johnny asked his teacher
"

So you know how most stores have 'you break it you buy it' rule?
The teacher responded "Yes why?"
Johnny said "Well do you think if you were to be looking at babies to adopt and dropped one that the orphange would make you buy it?"

I think you press "0" to be connected with customer service because that's the amount of help they give you.

A Latino gang member has received poor customer service at the railway station, so he vandalised one of the train engines in revenge.

It was a loco motive.

So i went to Walmart today...

... and asked customer service for gta5. She was confused so I told her that it was a game with a black guy who crashed his car, sleeps with prostitutes, and attacks people with his golf club. She came later with Tiger Woods PGA 2010.

My Car Won't Drive At Night

The service department of a BMW dealership took a call. The customer stated that his car, a 380i, will not drive at night.
The advisor, flummoxed at this, asks for more detail.
"You see," the owner replies, "when it is daytime, I put the car in 'D' and it drives like a dream."
"But when I put it in 'N' for Nighttime....'"

A man phones the customer service of a beer company.

A man phones the customer service of a beer company.
Customer service: "Hello, what can I help you with today?"
Man: "There is something wrong with your beer, it made me blow chunks!"
Customer service: "Well ya, it'll do that."
Man: "No I don't think you understand... Chunks is my dog!"

The Problem With New Jeans

I was at the customer-service desk, returning a pair of jeans that was too tight.
Was anything wrong with them? the clerk asked.
Yes, I said. They hurt my 
feelings.

When robots take over retail jobs...

...will customers complain about poorly programmed customer service?

Amazon are launching their full online supermarket service in London today

All customers will be forced to accept cookies

What's a pirate's least favorite letter?

Dear customer,
We are discontinuing your internet service due to suspicious activity/i**... downloading on your network.

A clothing store down the street from me has gotten really lazy with their customer service

I just saw them put up a sign that says "Suit yourself!"

Most Airlines claim to have claim their customer service is "unbeatable"

Only United can say its is "undefeated"

What's a Pirate's least favourite letter?

Dear Customer,
Due to recent i**... activities that have been performed through your connection, your internet service has been permanently disconnected.
-Sincerely, your ISP.

I run a mail order bride service based out of Prague.

I had a customer call and complain the other day about his order not arriving. It was alright though, I just reassured him that his Czech was in the mail.

Comcast's newest commercial really gave me a laugh.

They boasted their fast internet speeds, lower prices, and amazing customer service. Not to mention how they boasted supporting net neutrality.
Are there two companies named Comcast?

The company next door had to close after losing all customers and their new CEO was fired

Apparently Open House is not the thing to do for someone specialized in security services

CUT TO THE PAST

Ian is a barber and one day after servicing a haircut, a customer instead of money, gives him a crystal sphere and Ian, not wanting to argue and especially liking the sphere, accepts it.
He presses the Sphere and suddenly he's transported to ancient Egypt with all the scissor and blades in hand.
The Greeks spot him and yell 'BarberIan'.

Wow a lot of police in my neighbourhood tonight...

Apparently, the barber got arrested. He was dealing in drugs and running an e**... service. Crazy how you think that you know someone, have been customer for years! Never knew he was a barber too...

A hairdresser got arrested for dealing drugs and running an e**... service.

Unbelievable. Been a customer for years and I never knew he was a hairdresser!

I work in Customer Service

because I'm really good at apologizing for things that aren't my fault.

Investing in an assisted s**... centre has its pros and cons

The service is non-refundable but there are no repeat customers

Customer service at restaurants is HORRIBLE.

Every time I use one of their restrooms, I see "Employees must wash hands" on the mirror. So I wait for HOURS, but not ONCE has an employee EVER showed up to wash them for me.

I called AMC customer service to ask if I could use popcorn vouchers to cover a margin call.

The short answer is no.

I tried having my mother's phone disconnected, but customer service told me that since the account was in my dad's name, he'd have to be the one to put in the request.....

The fact that he'd been dead for 40 years didn't sway the rep. Then a solution hit me: If I stop paying the bill, you can turn off the service, right?
Well, yes, she said reluctantly. But that would ruin his credit.

3 men in a bar

3 men are in a bar talking about which tavern has the best customer service. Man 1 says; I know a place that gives you a free drink for every 5 you buy. Man 2 says; You think that's good I know a place where for every 2 drinks you get a free third. Man 3 says; Even better, I have heard of a place where you can drink all night free and then you get laid. The other men are amazed and ask where they can find that bar...and man 3 says: I am not sure, You'll have to ask my sister, she goes there every night

A woman called our airline customer-service desk asking if she could take her dog on board.

Sure, I said, as long as you provide your own kennel.
I further explained that the kennel needed to be large enough for the dog to stand up, sit down, turn around, and roll over.
The customer was flummoxed: I'll never be able to teach him all of that by tomorrow!

Amazon has started a new service where they deliver custom made shirts within 48 hours of ordering.

It's called Tailor Swift.

A woman calls customer service..

"Hi, I bought a maternity dress through your site and I want to cancel the order." she says.
The service rep says, "Sure, I can do that for you.. but I'd also like to get your feedback; may I ask why?"
"Yeah," says the customer. "My delivery was faster than yours was."

I bought a treadmill as part of my New Year's resolution to get in shape.

I've been using it for months and still don't feel like I'm getting anywhere.
UPDATE: tried to return it but customer service is giving me the runaround.

How many customer service representatives does it take to change a lightbulb?

Your upvote is very important to us, please be assured that we will make the punchline available to you as soon as possible.

A blonde called her car customer service saying she could only drive her car during the day. During the night, it didn't move at all.

A mechanic comes and after an inspection couldnt find anything wrong.
"You sure you put the right fuel?"
"Yup. Petrol"
Eventually, he asks her if shes using the right gears.
She says, "Of course, I'm not s**.... I'm using D during the day and N during the night"

Customer Service joke, Honeymoon Sandwich

jokes about customer service

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these customer service jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.