Custard Jokes

Following is our collection of profiterole puns and pear one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Custard jokes for adults, dirty haribo jokes and clean icing dad gags for kids.

The Best Custard Puns

Why did the elephant paint the bottom of its feet yellow?

So it could hide in a bowl of custard.

Have you ever seen an elephant in a bowl of custard? No?

That means it's working, the crafty bastards.

I asked an Indian if he likes custard

He said, "not in general."

I've started calling my girlfriend names like Custard, Ice cream, Pudding, Chocolate cake, or Apple pie.

I'm planning to desert her.

Custard joke, I've started calling my girlfriend names like Custard, Ice cream, Pudding, Chocolate cake, or Apple

What do you call a custard when it goes bad?

Off-pudding.

The custard I ate was past it's expiry date...

It was off-pudding


My Dad is always complaining about how much things cost

"£1.50 for a cup of tea" he said

"£2.50 for 3 custard creams" he moaned

I said "Look dad you just popped round, I didn't invite you!"

Elephants!

Why do elephants paint their toenails red?
...So they can hide in strawberry patches.

Why do elephants paint the soles of their feet yellow?
...So they can hide upside down in a bowl of custard.

Have you ever seen an elephant hiding upside down in a bowl of custard?
How about in a strawberry patch?

No?
See, it works!

Custard joke, Elephants!

What does the mum custard have over the baby custard?

Custody.
(From a 12 year old).

You know what they say about custard...

It's a little off pudding.

I just saw someone eat 12 dozen custard donuts

It looked like a gross meal

What do you call a swearing autistic child, that has a sweet tooth.

A CusTard


Jack be nimble, Jack be quick...

Jack got killed with a candlestick, in the kitchen by Colonel Custard. GG no Re.

I saw a man shovelling horse poo off the road, into a bag

So I stopped and asked him why

He told me he was taking it home, to put on his rhubarb

Fair enough, but I prefer custard

The moment I start enjoying Mexican custard dessert dishes..

Start flanning my funeral.

A guy goes to a fancy dress party

A guy goes to a fancy dress party with a mouth full of custard. When asked what he came as, he pushed both sides of his cheeks in and then said,

''A ZIT''

His homebuilt e-cigarette vapor mod with banana custard glycerine is so sexy...

Said no girl ever

Custard joke, His homebuilt e-cigarette vapor mod with banana custard glycerine is so sexy...

There is an abundance of vanilla jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 16 funniest jokes and custard puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any cream witze you can hear about custard.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes