Curves Jokes
58 curves jokes and hilarious curves puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about curves that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Curves Short Jokes
Short curves jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The curves humour may include short curvy jokes also.
- I have a rival, but I can only fight him when we meet up under curved architectural structures. He's my arch enemy.
- I was drawing a graph for my report expecting a straight line. But I got a curve. What a plot twist
- I have this friend. She always keeps telling me real women have curves. But I don't think her scoliosis counts.
- Calculus has a steep learning curve... But at least you know exactly how steep the learning curve is!
- The US is finally flattening our COVID-19 curve! Unfortunately, we're flattening it to the Y axis.
- A student wants to know how he did on a test Student: I know my curved score was a 90, but how was my raw score?
Teacher: Medium rare
Student: What does that mean?
Teacher: Not well done. - A student who never showed up to class or did the reading asked me to curve his final paper grade. I said yes. I took a red pen, scratched out the grade on the paper, then rewrote the F in cursive.
- Are you the Center Of Disease Control? Cuz theres nothing flat about your curves.
(seriously we have a real problem this virus is getting worse) - You are not supposed to twist measuring sticks to measure curves But I've always been willing to bend the rulers
- My curved stick only started coming back to me after a few years. It was a late bloomerang.
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Curves One Liners
Which curves one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with curves? I can suggest the ones about curly and bends.
- Americas curve is flattening alright. Just vertically instead of horizontally.
- Don't ever go to the top of the bell curve. Everyone there is mean.
- Hey girl, are you a derivative? Because I'd like to examine the slope of your curves
- Girl, can I be your derivative? Because I want to lay on your curves at one point.
- Hey girl, are you an integral? Because I'd like to find the area under your curves
- Hey babe, can I be your first derivative? Because I want to lie tangent to your curves...
- What did the Exponential Equation say to the Linear Equation? Real graphs have curves.
- It's actually quite hard to learn how to make tea... There's a *steep* learning curve.
- I can never calculate the derivative of a curve. Every time I try, I go off on a tangent.
- From the current state of America. The movie Joker was ahead of the curve
- I want to become a flat earther. But I heard that there is a learning curve.
- MATH JOKE: The ladies call me an integral ...because I fill the area under their curves
- I like my classes like I like my women with curves
- Hey baby, can I take your derivative.... So I can lay tangent to those curves.
- I want to study... the area below your curves...
It is integral.
Delightful Fun Curves Jokes for a Roaring Good Time
What funny jokes about curves you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean curly hair jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make curves pranks.
Kayne West was originally going to sing John Legend's recent hit song
But they gave it to John Legend after Kayne changed the chorus to: "Cause all of me, loves all of me. Love my curves and all my edges. All my perfect perfections"
Smell that patchouli candle? Now you're n**..., i'm going to massage this lavender oil into your shoulders, then s**... your curves with these lemon grass strands...
It should be quite homeo-e**...
How did h**... like his women?
just like his swastikas. No curves
One isn't a real number,
Real numbers have curves.
I like my women like I like my exams
with curves
Hey girl, are you a group of integrable functions?
because I would love to find the area under those curves
Hey girl, are you a derivative function?
Cuz I wanna be tangent to your curves.
What does a lifeguard and a manager of a Curves have in common?
They both watch whales.
What physical trait does a shapely woman who studies statistics have?
Belle curves.
I wish I was your derivative,
So I can lie tangent to your curves.
There's this one girl student in my class that always dresses s**... and shows of her curves...
...and that's not even the best part about home-schooling
Girls are like roads.
more curves equals more danger.
Oh, honey baby; are you a mountaintop skateboard race?
Coz there's you with those curves, and me with no brakes!
[Maths] What does a spline say?
"Draw me like one of your French curves."
"What does 'straight' mean?"
...asked the son.
Dad: Straight means something continuing in one direction without bending.
Son: Dad, is mom straight?
Dad: Yes son, she doesn't have any curves.
Your Mama is so fat that...
...if she were an interstate the speed limit would drop to 55 due to curves.
I once knew a Mathematics Professor...
She was a cute, s**... teacher. I called her Miss Cosnπ and man, did she have curves!
If a girl don't have curves.
Then she should be good with angles.
A man flirts with a mathematician
"Imagine you are a variable and your clothes are constants, and then you derive."
"Well, I would be n**... but I would also have fewer curves."
While you studied the curves of a woman, I studied the curves of the blade.
I probably should have studied how to actually use it.
What do you call a racist girl with lots of curves?
Thikkk.
A Mathematician an Economist and an Account are at a bar
The bar tender asks them what 2+2 is. The Mathematician says it is 4. The economist says it depends on how the supply and demand curves are at the time but generally it is 4. The accountant puts down his beer, looks the bar tender in the eye and asks what do you want it to be?
Women can be likened to roads
The more curves, the bigger the danger
I found out I have Scoliosis
God finally gave me curves,
Shame they ll be surgically removed.
Baby you make me wish I was good at calculus.
Cauz they ain't no limit to how much I want to define the area under your curves.
Yo mama so fat
Calculus still ain't been able to define the area under her curves
I saw two women exercising...
They were taking a walk but were way too close to each other given the social distancing orders. When I confronted them about the need to keep at least 6 feet apart, one of them looked at me dumbfounded and said, "We're just trying to flatten our curves!"
Didja hear about the two fat chicks flouting social distancing rules while going for a walk?
They just wanted to flatten their curves.
Hey girl are you a COVID-19 cell?
Cause' you've got the kinda curves that take my breath away.
Studies have shown that people with more curves have a much higher risk of catching the virus.
Scientists are working hard to flatten the curve.
Piece of string walks into a bar.
He sits at the bar and asks the bartender for a Moscow Mule. The bartender looks him over and says I'm sorry, but we don't serve string here . The piece of string leaves with a bit of hurt feelings.
The next night he decides to go in disguise and try again. He ruffles up his hair and adds a few curves and loops to make himself seem thicker, before putting on a bigger jacket. When he makes it back to the bar, the bartender spots him and immediately asks Hey, aren't you that piece of string from last night? .
No he replies, I'm a frayed knot .