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Cursing Jokes

36 cursing jokes and hilarious cursing puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about cursing that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Cursing Short Jokes

Short cursing jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The cursing humour may include short curses jokes also.

  1. I don't know why, but the record for oldest person seems to be cursed. Every time someone gets it, they die shortly afterwards.
  2. Harry Potter movies should be rated R for the huge amount of cursing. ... i can find the door out.
  3. This girl told me she wanted to be treated like a princess So I cursed her and locked her in a castle
  4. All this talk about hoping 2020 ends! Even though its cursed, we can't let it defeat us. That would mean 2021.
  5. I got cursed out by a flight attendant for asking to be moved away from a screaming baby Apparently they don't like that if it's your baby.
  6. Here's an old one. Who curses the most in Star Wars? R2-D2, everything he says is bleeped out.
  7. Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft... Today, it's called golf.
  8. My friend said to me today: With what's happening in the United States it looks like they are cursed. As if they had built their state on an Indian cemetery !

  9. Whenever my husband opens his wardrobe he shouts and curses.
    I think he's a cross dresser.
  10. I met a passive aggressive witch. She didn't curse me she just blessed everyone around me.

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Cursing One Liners

Which cursing one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with cursing? I can suggest the ones about curse words and fuming.

  1. Why doesn't Oedipus curse? Because he kisses his mother with that mouth
  2. Why is America cursed It was built on an ancient Indian burial ground
  3. How to curse like an Irishman "Whale oil beef hooked!"
  4. I think my fuse box has a curse on it Must have been the Mains Witch
  5. If you carve a swear word into a weapon Does that make it do curse damage?
  6. What did the Tin Man say when he got run over by a steamroller? * Curses! Foil again! *
  7. What kind of shape can cure a curse? A Hexagon
  8. What did the tin man say after he was ran over by a steamroller? "Curses! Foil again!"
  9. How does a man who cannot curse kill someone? He buttbuttinates them...
  10. The people in the UK curse weird Someone told me to get the fork out of here
  11. Again the oldest person has died ...the curse continues.
  12. A wizard cursed my land yesterday. Now that's an evil plot!
  13. What shape gets rid of curses? A hexagon
  14. I understand superposition It is both a blessing and a curse
  15. I'm not an alcoholic, I'm cursed My house was built on an ancient indian brewerial ground

Cursing joke, I'm not an alcoholic, I'm cursed

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about cursing can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of cursing puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Gather Around for Heartwarming Cursing Jokes and Uplifting Humor

What funny jokes about cursing you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean shouting jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make cursing prank.

Two brothers

Two brothers, ages 8 and 5, wake up one morning, and the older of the two says, "Today we're going to start cursing. I'll say d**... and you say a**...." The younger brother agrees.
Soon, their mother calls them down for breakfast. She asks the older brother what he would like to eat. He replies "I want some d**... Cheerios." His mother is horrified, slaps him across the face and sends him to his room.
She turns to her younger son and asks, "Well, what do you want for breakfast?" He replies, "I'm not sure, but you can bet your a**... it won't be Cheerios!"

A pessimist and and an optimist fall off the top of a 100 story building......

The pessimist was heard screaming and cursing as he past the 20th floor. As the optimist fell past he quietly whispered "so far, so good"!

A group of passengers are riding the bus to work…

Suddenly, the engine splutters and the bus grinds to a halt at the side of the road. The driver gets out, opens the engine compartment, and peers inside, cursing and swearing.
After a while the passengers get restless. A woman pulls a small toolkit out of her purse, gets up and goes outside, and sees the driver frantically trying to reattach a loose electrical cable with his fingers.
Would you like a screwdriver, she asks.
I'd love one, he replies, but we're ten minutes late already !

Little Johnny tells his friend, "My grandpa died yesterday."

Friend asks, "Oh, how did that happen?"
Johnny, "He hit his thumb with a hammer."
Friend, "But you can't die of that!"
Johnny, "I know but he wouldn't stop screaming and cursing so we shot him."

One day a baseball umpire brought his son to a game to watch him work. Dutmring the game, the umpire was rude and insulting, even to the point of spitting and cursing the players. At the end of the game he knelt down and beckoned his son to come sit on his knee. The boy refused saying . . .

The son never sits on the brutish umpire.

Watching TV is a nightmare nowadays. Violence, fighting, cursing, swearing.

And that's just to get the remote.

A Bishop and his plumber played golf

The plumber kept shooting the ball way out of bounds cursing " g**... it, I missed again". The bishop, annoyed, asked the plumber not to speak gods name in vain. As they moved to the next hole the plumber misses again, " g**... it, I missed again" The Bishop became furious. The third hole came and the Plumber missed. Before he could move his libs, lightning struck the bishop. And from above was heard "g**... it, I missed again.

My wife ran inside terrified after throwing rocks and cursing at the people walking towards our house wielding chainsaws this morning...

Can anyone recommend another gardening company?

I stop and rest on a park bench....

After a while a blind old black man come and sits next to me with his guard dog, he keeps cursing and grunting so i ask him whats wrong "ahh my blasted wife has been cheating on me with my neighbour and shes taking half the house in the divorce, i didnt see it coming" he says, i chuckle a little at his bad taste joke, then he says "yeah you right son, it could be worse, i could be black"

— Babe, did you know you sleep talk?

— Oh yeah?! How so?
— I heard you cursing me all night long last night on your sleep.
— who said I was sleeping?

Father caught his young son cursing vehemently.

Father: Promise you'll never swear again!
Son: Yes dad!
Father: You swear?

Q: How do you make an old woman start cursing?

A: Just scream BINGO!

A lot of companies are working on a self driving car

I don't think any of them are working on the cursing algorithym for when someone cuts off that car, how unproffesional...

I found out my cousin is a magician!

He told me while we were on vacation at Venice beach. I was skeptical at first so asked him to show me a trick. Right as I asked, he stubbed his toe on a wooden plank and started cursing at the ground! I was amazed! I'd never seen somebody diss a pier.

When nick Fury got snapped away..

..He wasn't cursing. He was thinking about his father.

I have a problem- I can't stop cursing.

Whenever the most minor inconvenience happens to me, I just blurt out things like, "Bad luck upon your family for seven days."

Was feeling bored. So I decided to call the police.

Me: Hello, help.
Police: What happened?
Me:5000 people are following me.
Police: Calm down, where are you?
Me: On twitter !"
*violent cursing*

This is for the guy cursing me out yesterday

I didn't insult you, idiot!

A man travelling on a highway....

....when he nocticee the sign "Speedlimit: 50km". He was kind of surprised but still lowered his speed well below 50km/h. Half an hour later he spotted another sign "Speedlimit: 25km". Frustrated but didn't want any fine, he slowed down to 25km/h. After a while he saw yet another sign "Speedlimit: 3km". Having no other choice he got off the car and push it, cursing Donald Trump while at it for allowing such s**... rules. 2 hours passed, and another sign appeared:
- "Welcome to Speedlimit"

A piece of string walks into a bar...

A piece of string walks into a bar, makes his way up a bar stool, and asks the bartender for a beer. The bartender says "We don't serve bits of string in here.You need to get out!" So the piece of string angrily leaves the bar and starts cursing to himself in the alley. Then he has an idea. He starts tieing himself all up and unwinds himself at the ends. He walks back into the bar, sits in the same stool and asks the same bartender for a drink. The bartender says "Hey, aren't you the same bit of string I just kicked outta here?!" and the piece of string says "Nope, I'm a frayed knot."

Cursing joke, A piece of string walks into a bar...

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these cursing jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.