Curses Jokes

27 curses jokes and hilarious curses puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about curses that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Quick Jump To

Funniest Curses Short Jokes

Short curses jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The curses humour may include short cursing jokes also.

  1. I don't know why, but the record for oldest person seems to be cursed. Every time someone gets it, they die shortly afterwards.
  2. Harry Potter movies should be rated R for the huge amount of cursing. ... i can find the door out.
  3. This girl told me she wanted to be treated like a princess So I cursed her and locked her in a castle
  4. All this talk about hoping 2020 ends! Even though its cursed, we can't let it defeat us. That would mean 2021.
  5. I got cursed out by a flight attendant for asking to be moved away from a screaming baby Apparently they don't like that if it's your baby.
  6. Here's an old one. Who curses the most in Star Wars? R2-D2, everything he says is bleeped out.
  7. Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft... Today, it's called golf.
  8. My friend said to me today: With what's happening in the United States it looks like they are cursed. As if they had built their state on an Indian cemetery !

  9. Whenever my husband opens his wardrobe he shouts and curses.
    I think he's a cross dresser.
  10. I met a passive aggressive witch. She didn't curse me she just blessed everyone around me.

Share These Curses Jokes With Friends

Curses One Liners

Which curses one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with curses? I can suggest the ones about curse words and bad luck.

  1. Why doesn't Oedipus curse? Because he kisses his mother with that mouth
  2. Why is America cursed It was built on an ancient Indian burial ground
  3. How to curse like an Irishman "Whale oil beef hooked!"
  4. I think my fuse box has a curse on it Must have been the Mains Witch
  5. If you carve a swear word into a weapon Does that make it do curse damage?
  6. What did the Tin Man say when he got run over by a steamroller? * Curses! Foil again! *
  7. What kind of shape can cure a curse? A Hexagon
  8. What did the tin man say after he was ran over by a steamroller? "Curses! Foil again!"
  9. How does a man who cannot curse kill someone? He buttbuttinates them...
  10. The people in the UK curse weird Someone told me to get the fork out of here
  11. Again the oldest person has died ...the curse continues.
  12. A wizard cursed my land yesterday. Now that's an evil plot!
  13. What shape gets rid of curses? A hexagon
  14. I understand superposition It is both a blessing and a curse
  15. I'm not an alcoholic, I'm cursed My house was built on an ancient indian brewerial ground

Curses joke, I'm not an alcoholic, I'm cursed

Howlingly Hilarious Curses Jokes for All Ages to Enjoy

What funny jokes about curses you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean cures jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make curses pranks.

A man lines up for food in Soviet Russia...

After two hours of waiting he gets his turn and offers his bowl.
Out of soup. says the officer in charge and waves him aside.
The man refuses to leave. He tosses the bowl on the table and curses the regime for failing his starving family.
The officer motions to the guards and they wrestle the ranting man away. As they shove him outside, one says to the man:
Back then we could've shot you in the snow, comrade.
The man goes back home to his wife. She sees him looking glum as he walks in and asks:
Ran out of soup again?
Even worse, he replied. They ran out of bullets.

A deer walks out of a gay bar

He curses under his breath and says can't believe I blew 30 bucks in there

I saw my friends having a screaming match with each other so I told them, Remember, argue with facts and not curses.

So now I'm APPARENTLY banned from the Witches Gatherings from now on.

So I'm at the dentist's office... the waiting room when this woman comes storming out, shouting curses and threatening to sue. When she's gone, the dentist is standing in the doorway, speechless, so I ask him, "gee, doc, what's got her knickers in a twist?" And he says, "I don't know, I just asked her to take a shot in the mouth."

A hero named "Super Cal" suffers from a slight weakness that curses his own body. However, he does have a certain strength. It's, unfortunately, his bad breath that makes him fairly unattractive.

So, basically..."Super Cal is fragile-ish except for Halitosis"

My girlfriend never swears in public...

But when we're talking dirty around the house she curses like a sailor, and it really turns me on.
I guess it's true, women should be obscene but not heard.

"May your thousand generations be childless!" yelled my best friend in anger.

He never did think his curses through...

Curses joke, "May your thousand generations be childless!" yelled my best friend in anger.