Curse Words Jokes
17 curse words jokes and hilarious curse words puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about curse words that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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The Funniest Curse Words Jokes for a Bone-Shaking Laugh
What is a good curse words joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
Man goes to a wizard
A man goes to see a wizard and says:
"Can you lift a curse that a priest put on me years ago?"
"Maybe," says the wizard, "Can you remember the exact words of the curse?"
The man replies, "I pronounce you man and wife."
A man was dumping toxic waste into a river.
Suddenly, the sky darkened, lightning flashed, and a glowing woman appeared, hovering above the river.
**"For your crimes, I curse you to only speak in words related to water!",** she intoned, and then vanished in another flash of lightning.
The man stood, shocked, before gathering his wits and muttering, "Well dam".
A man goes to see a wizard and says, "Can you lift a curse that a priest put on me years ago?"
Maybe," says the wizard, "Can you remember the exact words of the curse?"
The man replies, "I pronounce you man and wife."
So, a man goes to see a Wizard...
and asks "Can you lift a curse a Priest put on me years ago?"
Maybe, says the wizard. Can you remember the Priests exact words ?
Yes replied the man, they were "I now pronounce you Man and Wife"
If you carve a swear word into a weapon
Does that make it do curse damage?
An old man goes to the Wizard
...to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years. The Wizard says, "Maybe, but you will have to tell me the *exact* words that were used to put the curse on you." The old man says without hesitation, "I now pronounce you man and wife."
Overtime is a curse word in retail.*
*And the Atlanta Falcons.
Hey Jesus, what's your favorite curse word?
Jesus replies: evangelism.
What's Canada's Official Curse Word?
H-E-double hockey sticks
There was once a man who had a curse put on him by a witch....
There was once a man who had a curse put on him by a witch because he insulted her. With this curse he could only communicate by saying one word per year, or, if he didn't speak for several years he could build up a sentence.
Several years after being cursed, he meets the most beautiful woman he has ever seen. He waits 2 years just so he can say 'My darling' to this woman as a way of showing expressing to her his intentions.
After waiting 2 years he realises that he is in love with this woman and so he decides to wait another 3 years in order to tell her this.
Having waited for 5 years to talk to this woman, he is committed to marrying her so he waits a further 4 years to ask her to marry him.
Finally, having waited 9 years he approaches his love and says, 'My Darling, I love you. Will you marry me?' With a dainty hand she brushes her hair behind her ear, turns to him with a loving smile and says, 'Pardon?'
A prince is cursed...
A prince is cursed one day by a witch so that he can only speak a single word a year. However, any word he does not say in a year can be rolled over and used in a following year. The prince is discouraged, but decides to go about his life anyway.
A few weeks later, the prince meets a beautiful young woman, and he waits an entire year to say "hello". He begins writing her letters, explaining his situation, and they begin to fall in love. Three years later, the prince uses his saved words to tell her, in his own voice, "I love you".
Soon, the prince decides he wants to marry her. But to make it special, he saves up his words for twelve years, so he can ask her himself. He takes her to the most romantic part of the royal gardens at sunset, gets down on one knee, and says "my darling, I love you more than anything. Will you marry me?" The beautiful young woman turns to him and says:
"Pardon?"
The cursed Prince. This summer's best love story.
Once upon a time there was a Prince who, through no fault of his own, was cast under a spell by an evil witch.
The curse was that the Prince could speak only one word each year.
However, he could save up the words so that if he did not speak for a whole year, then the following year he was allowed to speak two words (this was before the time of letter writing or sign language).
One day he met a beautiful princess (ruby lips, golden hair, sapphire eyes,) and fell madly in love.
With the greatest difficulty he decided to refrain from speaking for two whole years so that he could look at her and say, "my darling,"
But, at the end of the two years he wished to tell her that he loved her. Because of this he waited three more years without speaking (bringing the total number of silent years to 5).
But, at the end of these five years he realized that he had to ask her to marry him. So, he waited ANOTHER four years without speaking.
Finally as the ninth year of silence ended, his joy knew no bounds.
Leading the lovely princess to the most secluded and romantic place in that beautiful royal garden the prince heaped a hundred red roses on her lap, knelt before her, and taking her hand in his, said huskily,
"My darling, I love you! Will you marry me?"
And the princess tucked a strand of golden hair behind a dainty ear, opened her sapphire eyes in wonder, and parting her ruby lips, said,
"Pardon?"
Once upon a time...
...an evil witch put a curse on a prince, which only allowed him to say and/or write one word per year, and could only be broken through mairrage. Well, shortly after recieving the curse, the prince fell in love with the most beautiful of princesses in all of the land.
So the prince waited *thirteen long years,* saving his words up for one sentence that he said to the princess one fateful morning.
"Madam, I love you and have for many years. Will you marry me?" The prince said after carefully plotting out his words,
The princess turned around and said "Come again?"
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Curse Words One Liners
Which curse words one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with curse words? I can suggest the ones about bad word and harry potter spells.
- If you carve a swear word into a weapon Does that make it do curse damage?
- Overtime is a curse word in retail.* *And the Atlanta Falcons.
- Hey Jesus, what's your favorite curse word? Jesus replies: evangelism.
- What's Canada's Official Curse Word? H-E-double hockey sticks