Current News Jokes
24 current news jokes and hilarious current news puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about current news that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Current News Short Jokes
Short current news jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The current news humour may include short current events jokes also.
- Breaking News: The CEO of IKEA has been elected Prime Minister of Sweden. He's currently assembling his cabinet.
- Why should oceanographers be the Ones that report the news? They're always on top of current events!
- Why aren't tsunamis and tidal waves always in the news... ...since they're both current events...
- "You look so cute reading the news paper!" It's taken me three years and countless hours, but attracting male attention by staying updated on current events is finally working.
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Current News One Liners
Which current news one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with current news? I can suggest the ones about breaking news and news.
- What's the ocean's favorite news segment? Current events.
- What do you call news about a body of water? Current events
- What is an electricians favorite type of news Current events
- Why do sea creatures read the news? To keep up with current events!
- Why did the electrician become a news anchor? He's always had a knack for current events.
- Got a message in a bottle from the river today It was current news
- What news does an underwater welder pay the most attention to? Current events.
- Fox News gave an unbiased report on current events.
Silly Current News Jokes for a Good Time with Friends
What funny jokes about current news you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean news reports jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make current news pranks.
A man goes to the doctor
The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news"
The man replies "Give me the good news first, doc."
The doctor says "The good news is we currently have that raccoon in our supply closet. The bad news is you ruined the punchline by asking for the good news first."
Breaking news : ISIS has surrendered
As soon as they read that Hugh Hefner has died , they realized there won't be any more virgins left for them in heaven, and have laid down their arms and will lead peaceful lives with their current wives .
A guy is watching the news...
And he sees that there is a guy driving in the wrong direction on the highway. He knows that his dad is currently driving on that highway, so he calls his dad.
Dad, he says, watch out. There's some lunatic driving the wrong way on the highway!
His father replies, There're millions of them!
Newlywed Woman In Her 90s Is Interviewed
There was a lady in her 90s who became a sort of local celebrity because she had recently gotten married. The local news station decided to interview her. The interviewer asked questions like how it was to be a newlywed in her 90s.
"This isn't my first husband, so it's not much different than the others," she replied with a smile.
"Oh? How many husbands have you had?" the interviewer inquired. "This one will be my fourth," she replied.
"I was married in my 20s to a banker, then in my 40s to a circus performer. After that I married a preacher."
"What does your current husband do?"
"Oh he's a f**... director."
The interviewer laughed and then asked how she came to marry these men from such different backgrounds and personalities.
"It always made sense to me," she replied. "I married one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to go."