Following is our collection of Currency funnies and chistes working better than reddit. They include dirty puns, clean gags suitable for kids, that are actually fun like the best witze.
...for $10.00 worth of Bitcoin currency.
Dad: $9.67? What do you need $10.32 for?
I mean it's just common cents
I had a bunch of Canadian dollars I needed to exchange, so I went to
the currency exchange window at the local bank. Just one lady in front of me...an Asian lady who was trying to exchange yen for dollars and she was a little irritated. She asked the teller, 'Why it change? Yesterday, I get two hunat dolla fo yen. Today I get hunat eighty? Why it change?' The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, 'Fluctuations'. The Asian lady says, 'Fluc you white people, too'.
Excellent, I can't wait to start using black people as currency again.
I used to trade currency. this asian guy came in and wanted to exchange 10,000yen - I gave him $120.
a week later he came in with another 10,000yen - I gave him $105.
a week after that he came in with another 10,000yen - I gave him $135.
the guy said to me in an annoyed voice " why one week $120, then $105, then $135! - why the difference?!!?"
I says to him "fluctuations"
He responds "fluck you white people"
Starbucks
I always wanted to use black people as currency.
A Japanese man walks into a currency exchange with 4000 yen to exchange and receives $40.
A week later, he walks into the currency exchange again with 4000 yen, but this time only receives $30. He asks the teller why he received less money this time.
"Fluctuations," the teller says.
Furious, the Japanese man storms out of the exchange, but before slamming the door, turns around and shouts "Fluc you Amelicans too!"
He gives the teller $100 CAD And receives $150 ¥ back.
He returns the following week to do the same thing. He gives the teller $100 CAD and receives $140 ¥.
He asks "I was in here last week, why am I not getting the same amount back?"
Teller replies, "Well, fluctuations."
The Japanese man says, "Oh yeah? Well fluck you white guys too"
Because it rhymes with Bank Manager
An Asian guy walks into the New York City currency exchange with 2000 yen and walks out with $72. Next week he walks in with 2000 yen and gets $66. He asks the lady why he gets less money this week than last week. The lady says "Fluctuations". The Asian guy storms out, and just before slamming the
door, turns around and says: "Fluc you Amelicans too!"
Trump: "In little over a week when I take office, China will fall into a slump. Factories will shut down, shops will close, stock markets will not trade, and government will grind to a halt.The wealthy will flee overseas with their families, citizens desperately trade their currency for food, doors all across the country will be plastered with red notices and the empty streets will reek of lingering gunpowder. The people, with nothing to do will turn to day-long drinking and gambling. Children will roam the streets begging for money. So sad."
China foreign ministry: "That's Chinese New Year, dumbass."
Sounds like a bunch of naan-cents to me
The following week, he walked in with another 2000 yen, and was handed $66.
He asked the teller why he got less money that week than the previous week.
The teller said, "Fluctuations."
The Japanese man stormed out, and just before slamming the door, turned around and shouted, "Fluc you Amelicans, too!"
An Asian man comes to the US to do business and converts 110 million Yen into 1 million dollars. On his next trip, he returns to the bank to do the same, but only receives $990,000 in return.
He asks the teller, "Why did I receive less this time?"
The teller responds with a shrug, "Fluctuations"
The man gets very angry and storms out, stopping at the door to shout back, "Fluc your Americans too!"
... and goes up to the teller. Even though he is new to speaking English, he says, "I wish to exchange 400 of my currency for US dollars. The teller proceeds to do so and they politely part ways. A few days pass and the Japanese man again walks into the bank, again to exchange the same amount currency. This time though, the teller hands him less than the previous exchange. Confused, he asked the teller, "Why have you given me less dollars than before?"
"Fluctuations," replies the teller, " the markets have changed."
"Fluctuations? FLUCTUATIONS!" The Japanese man exclaims, " Fluctu-Americans, too!"
Not currency; an actual invoice for 50 dollars
The banker says, "Fluctuations."
The Chinese guy replies, "Fluck you Blitish too."
Apparently they aren't legal currency.
Star Bucks
the pound
Starbucks!
Doesn't matter, you won't be able to pry it out of the cheap bastards' hands anyway.
This asian lady goes to a bank to exchange her currency into dollars. For 1000 yuans she gets about 160$.
A week later she walks in with a thousand more and this time she only gets 150.
Confused, she asks the teller " Why 10$ less this time?"
Teller says "fluctuations"
She turns to leave and says " Fluc you americans too..."
I didn't wanna catch the Kronervirus
With how fat America is, I'm surprised their currency isn't in pounds.
I would always ask what currency people would be paying with, but I stopped after a woman screamed at me for assuming her tender.
Kryptocurrency.
...if its value decreases any more, Europe might have to switch back to their old international currency, Czechoslovakia.
then Africa should use Afros as currency.
I would do more of [action].
You could much more easily control inflation.
So we can use black people as currency again
Turns out potatoes aren't a valid currency in the US.
A Japanese man visits Australia.
On the way in he converts his 4000 yen to $100.
A couple of weeks later, he is returning home and converts his last $100, but this time only receives 2000 yen.
"what's up with this?", he enquires, "why is the conversion rate half what it was when I came here?"
"fluctuations." replies the exchange kiosk operator.
"yeah? well fluck you too, white man."
Because america is a CAPitalist country.
... to exchange some Chinese yuan for American dollars. The teller finishes counting the man's currency, looks up that day's exchange rate, computes the conversion and quickly counts out the American currency in twenties, "…140, 160 and" plunking down the last bill, "makes $180. Will that be all today, sir?"
The Chinese man glares suspiciously at the teller, "Hey, how come I come he'a last week wit' same amount yuan, you give me 200 dollah; I come he'a today, you only give me 180 dollah?"
The teller politely goes into the short version of how currency exchanges work and recent changes in the market.
Being mostly satisfied but still a little skeptical the Chinese man asks, "What you mean by 'changes'?"
The teller says, "I'm sorry, I should've said 'fluctuations'."
The Chinese man yells back, "*Fluctuations*? Hey, FLUCK YOU WHITE GUYS TOO!"
Their currency is called the ✓
George goes to the Birth Registration Office to register his newborn son.
The man behind the counter asks the name he wants to give to
the boy, and the father replies: "Euro."
The man says that such a name is not acceptable, because it's a currency.
Says George: "What? There weren't any objections when I called my first two sons Mark and Frank."
Looks like they finally transitioned from bolivars to pounds.
The following week, he walked in with another 200,000 Korean won, and was handed $185. He asked the teller why he got less money that week than the previous week. The teller said , "Three syllables bro: Fluc-tu-ations." The Korean man stormed out, and just before slamming the door, turned around and shouted, "Fluc you Amelicans, too!"
A Chinese family arrives in Los Angeles to begin their American vacation. They approach the currency exchange window to exchange 10,000 Chinese yuan. The agent gives them $1,600 and they go on their way. They enjoy their vacation but realize their American funds are depleting quickly. They return to the currency exchange a week later to exchange another 10,000 Yuan. This time the exchange agent hands over $1,400. The Chinese man asks in broken yet effective English why the exchanged amount is $200 less. The agent shrugs his shoulders and politely replies "Fluctuations". The Chinese man suddenly becomes enraged and replies "Fluck you Americans!"
...for $10.00 worth of Bitcoin currency.
Dad: $9.45? What do you need $10.11 for?
Because he didn't want to be drawn and "quartered."
He responds "One"
"In which currency?"
"Any :("
That way it can be inflated and deflated at will!
Completely virtual.
but Brazil's real.
That rapper "50 cent" is known as "40 billion dollar"
Outbucks.
Crypt o' Currency.
Cashier "That will be $18.35"
Me: Hands her a $50 bill
Cashier "Sorry sir, We cant accept that because we had too many problems with counterfeit currency. Do you have anything smaller?"
Me " I fully understand, Here you go.."
*Politely hands her a crisp $25 bill*
A penne for their thoughts.
Because the universal currency is Starbucks
Both are outdated currency.
He asks the teller what the current rate is for the US Dollar.
"Now, or... now?"
South Korean Won.
...for some Bitcoin currency again, this time in the amount of $25.00.
Dad: $23.67? What do you need $20.32 for?
Bucks
... but I'm not sure anyone wants to Cedis.
Gamble in British currency.
dill dough.
Defacing currency
An Asian woman goes to the bank to exchange the currency for dollars. A , week after that she goes again and gets less dollars for the same currency.
She then asks the teller "why did i get less money this time?".. the teller says "fluctuations" ...
she looks at him and says "fluc-u-americans"..before walking away
You can Pound me but you can't Dollar me.
Because paper money weighs like a gram but Britain's is a pound.
starbucks
Starbucks
"Count Dracula."
Chequeoslovakia
but I left because the currency is bullshit.
Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends.