Curious Jokes
122 curious jokes and hilarious curious puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about curious that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Let your curiosity take you on a journey of delight with these curious jokes. Find amusing peaks and valleys of laughter on topics ranging from Curious George to curiously compelling concepts. Laugh out loud with these amusing jokes that are sure to satisfy your curiousity!
Quick Jump To
- Short Curious Jokes
- Curious One Liners
- Feeling Curious Jokes
- Curious George Jokes
- More Curious Jokes
Funniest Curious Short Jokes
Short curious jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The curious humour may include short curios jokes also.
- Who won the race between the priest and the nun? It was the priest, because he "pastor" a while back.
I just came up with this one at the breakfast table for those who are curious. - A man is walking down the street dragging 20 ft of rope behind him. His neighbor is curious & asks, "Hey buddy, why you pulling that rope?"
The man replies, "You ever tried pushing it?" - A very curious customer asked a local tomato farmer if their tomatoes are genetically modified. "No." Said the farmer
"No." Said the tomato - All my life, my parents have told me not to open the basement door, but I got curious and disobeyed them. What is that glowing ball in the sky and why does it hurt my eyes?
- The Republican primary race should be called "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button" It's way too long, and the protagonists are becoming more juvenile as it goes on.
- My son is at that age where he's curious about the human body. I guess I'll have to hide it somewhere else now.
- My buddy performs circumcisions, and i was curious how much he got paid "Oh we dont get paid, we just keep the tips"
- Many were curious about how methane ended up on Mars. I'm pretty sure it was because of Uranus.
- A curious little boy asked his father if he knew why it is soo dark outside! Father replies : No Son
- I don't get why Clubbing Seals is so controversial? I mean, I'm kinda curious what sort of music they listen to?
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Curious One Liners
Which curious one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with curious? I can suggest the ones about intrigued and wondering.
- I'm curious about the French flag. When did they add the blue and red stripes?
- I'm not a necrophile... I'm just morbidly curious.
- What is the most curious amphibian? I'll give you a hint: They axolotl questions.
- How do you prove human beings are inherently curious?
- I've always been curious about synesthesia... I just want to see how it feels.
- I can watch The Curious Case of Benjamin Button over and over. Never gets old.
- What do you call a monkey who swings both ways? Bi-curious George
- How do you make someone curious? I'll tell you later...
- I can describe you in one word Curious
- What do you call a square peg that wonders if it could plug a round hole? Pi-curious.
- What do you call a bisexual racecar driver? The fast and the curious
- Why did the communist experiment with capitalism? They were buy-curious.
- What do you call a bi-curious woman? A clitourist.
- May be behind but what do you call a Curiosity with only 2 wheels Bi-curious
- Do you know how to make a dumb person curious? No, how?
-
I'll tell you tomorrow.
Feeling Curious Jokes
Here is a list of funny feeling curious jokes and even better feeling curious puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why did the BMX date the motorcycle? He was feeling a bit bike-curious.
Curious George Jokes
Here is a list of funny curious george jokes and even better curious george puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What do you call a monkey who is confused about his sexuality? Bi-Curious George
- So I guess Curious George got fired... ...Yep, they caught him on an underage site called "Green Bananas".
- What happens when Curious George Gets in the studio with Kanye West? He spits monkey bars
- There was once a monkey who wanted to play with bananas His name was Bi-Curious George.
Hilarious Curious Jokes to Make Your Friends Roar with Laughter
What funny jokes about curious you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean interesting jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make curious pranks.
Lots of Russian jokes recently, here is another one.
A boy sits on his couch and sees a newspaper there. Curious he picks it up and reads the front headline: "v**... Prices on the Rise." He shows this to his dad and says:
"Dad does this mean you are going to drink less?"
Dad: "No son, this means you are going to eat less."
Man walks into Bar with a Dog ...
Man walks into Bar with a Dog and orders 2 Glasses of Whiskey.
He & his Dog empty the Glasses.
Girl behind the Bar is surprised and asks - Can your Dog perform any other tricks?
Man-Yes, He can fully satisfy a Woman.
Girl is too curious.. Deciding that she'll test the dog, she undresses and lies in full expectation.
Dog looks at her and does nothing....
Man to Dog: It's always the same with you, now this is the last time I am showing you how to do it..
A guy walks into a bar...
sits down and orders 10 shots one after the other without saying anything.
When he finally stops, the bartender is curious and asks him what the shots were for.
"My first b**..." the man replies.
"Oh" the bartender says, "Well then in that case let me give you one on the house."
"No, thanks," the man says "if 10 can't get the taste out of my mouth 11 sure won't."
New Earring
John is at work one day when he notices that his
co-worker, Zach, is wearing an earring.
This man knows his co-worker to be a normally conservative fellow, and is curious about his sudden change in "fashion".
"Hey Zach" he yells out "I didn't know you were into earrings."
"Don't make such a big deal out of it, ..it's only an
earring." Says Zach sheepishly.
"No really," probes John, "How long have you been wearing one?"
... "Ever since my wife found it in our bed."
A young tree, curious about his lineage, asked an older tree, "Am I the son of a beech, or the son of a birch?"
The older tree replied, "I don't know, but your mom was the finest piece of ash in the forest!"
Oh Grandma!
The little boy greeted his grandmother with a hug and said, "I'm so happy to see you grandma. Now maybe daddy will do the trick he has been promising us."
The grandmother was curious.
"What trick is that my dear?" she asked.
The little boy replied, "I heard daddy tell mommy that he would climb the walls if you came to visit us again."
m**... in Paris
A Frenchman is walking in the Bois de Boulogne forest in Paris when he sees a n**... man having s**... with a woman in the bushes. He approaches, curious, but notices that she is deathly pale and not moving. Alarmed he rushes off to find a policeman.
"Monsieur! Monsieur!" he shouts, when he finds a gendarme. "I found a man r**... a dead woman in the bushes over there."
"Sacre bleu!" shouts the policeman, and rushes off to investigate.
But a few minutes later he returns, smiling wryly, and says, "Non, Monsieur, she is not dead. She is English."
Indian On The Road
I'm driving from Santa Fe to Albuquerque when I see an American Indian lying on the road with his ear to the ground. Curious, I pull over, walk up to him and ask, "Excuse me, what are you doing?" He says, "Silver 1991 Chevy station wagon, one man, one woman, two children". I say, "Wow, you can tell all that just by listening to the road?" He says, "Heck no, they just ran me over".
A man is walking past the mental hospital
through the board fence he hears the nuts inside chanting, thirteen...thirteen...thirteen. Curious, peeks through a knot hole and someone pokes him in the eye! As he jumps back in pain he hears the nuts start chanting, fourteen...fourteen...fourteen.
Ole and Sven
A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink.
"why sure," comes the reply.
The first man then asks: "where ya from?"
"Norway," replies the second man.
The first man responds, "Ya don't say, I'm from Norway too! Let's have another round to Norway."
Curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Norway are ya from?"
"Bergen," comes the reply.
"I can't believe it," says the first man. "I'm from Bergen too! Let's have another drink to old Bergen."
Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "So, where did you live?"
"On a boat, at the fishin' docks," replies the second man.
"Dis is unbelievable!," the first man says. "I lived on a boat at the fishin' docks, too!"
About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar.
"What's up?," he asks the bartender.
"Nothing much," replies the bartender. "Ole and his brother Sven are getting drunk again."
So a man who had been stranded on an island 7 years was finally rescued...
as the ship was pulling away from the island one of his rescuers was looking back at the island and noticed three huts on the beach. Curious, he asked the castaway what they were for. "Well" he replied "the first one there was my house and that one over there is my church" "and the other?" asked the sailor. "Oh that...thats the church I used to go to"
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A man urges his wife to try a new s**... position - The . Curious, she asks about what romantic and exotic position her husband wants to try. "Well honey" he answers, "it's quite simple, you give me a b**..., and I owe you one"
All the single ladles
Joe invited his mother over for dinner one night. During the course of said dinner his mother couldn't help but notice the staggering beauty of Joe's roommate. She had been long suspicious of a relationship between them, and her beauty combined with the banter she had seen them share only made her all the more curious.
Joe noticed his mother's suspicion. "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you that Julie and I are just roommates."
A week later, Julie came to Joe and said, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I can't seem to find the gravy ladle. You don't suppose she took it on accident, do you?"
Joe agreed that it was a reasonable possibility, and wrote a letter to his mother inquiring about the ladle. It read, "I'm not saying you 'did' take the ladle, nor am I saying you 'did not' take the ladle,' but the fact is it's been missing since you came to dinner last week."
Several weeks later, a reply came.
"I'm not saying you 'do' sleep with Julie, nor am I saying you 'do not' sleep with Julie. The fact is if she was sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the ladle by now."
The new store...
Two Australian businessmen in Brisbane were sitting down for a break in their soon-to-be opened new store.
As yet, the store wasn't ready, with no stock and only a few shelves set up.
One said to the other, 'I bet any minute now some idiot tourist is going to walk by, put his face to the window, and ask what we're selling.'
No sooner were the words out of his mouth when sure enough, a curious Japanese tourist walked to the window, had a peek, and in a thick Japanese accent asked, 'What you sell?'
One of the men replied sarcastically, 'We're selling arseholes.'
Without skipping a beat, the Japanese man said, 'You doing velly well. Only two left!'
A short, crisp, Christianity joke Which I promise is offensive in no way.
So it's early in the morning and the married couple wakes up, both ready for their morning coffee, but none of them are willing to do it. So the wife say's to her husband, " You know, the bible say's that men should make the coffee." Curious the husband asks why and his wife replies "*Hebrews*"
A man is walking on a sidewalk past...
An insane asylum. He hears voices on the inside chanting "thirteen,thirteen, thirteen".
He is curious why they are chanting that. He looks around and finds a hole that allows himself to look inside the fence. As he puts his eye on the hole a stick jabs him in the eye. And the chant changes to "fourteen, fourteen, fourteen".
My dad tells this joke all the time.
Old Native American joke
A young Indian boy was curious about how he got his name. He asked the chief, "Chief, how do we get our names?"
The Chief answers him, "We give names by what is outside of the teepee during ones birth.
"When your mom was born, it was a beautiful April day, so we named her BlueSky.
"After your dad's birth we were greeted by a majestic deer, so we named him WhiteTail."
The chief looked at the boy a little puzzled,
"Why do you ask BearFuckingBear?"
The dinosaur at the museum
A guy is visiting a museum and he sees a dinosaur's skeleton.
Curious about it, he asks the guard next to it:
- Excuse me, sir. How old is this dinosaur?
- It is 65 million years, 4 months and 13 days old.
Amazed by his answer, he says:
- Wow!, How can you be so precise about it?
- Well, when I first started working here, they told me it was 65 million years old... and that was 4 months and 13 days ago.
I was at the football game the other day...
It was the biggest game of the season, and all the seats were taken. Because of this, my buddies had to sit further away from me
I looked over and saw the two seats to my left were empty. Curious, I asked the guy beside the empty seats if anyone was coming for them.
"My wife was supposed to come, but she passed away recently," he replied.
I apologized and offered my condolences. "And the other empty seat?" I asked him.
"My best friend was supposed to come with us," he answered. I asked him why his best friend didn't come.
The man replied, "Oh, he's at the f**...!".
My friend is a prison warden currently doing sensitivity training. His homework entails "What would you do if you saw two curious inmates indulging in i**...? "
I said "Why can't we just let bi-cons be bi-cons?!"
In 1941, a German boy named Hans was listening to the radio.
Over the radio, h**... announced that Germany was now going to war with the United States.
"Father, where's the United States?" asked Hans. His father pointed on a map to the continental nation in North America.
"And I'm told we're already at war with Russia," the curious lad continued. "Where is Russia?" His father pointed to where Soviet Russia lay in all its time zone-hogging glory.
"And we're also at war with the British Empire," added Hans. "Where is that?" His father pointed out all the territories of the empire upon which the sun never set.
"And where is Germany?" asked Hans. His father pointed to their country in central Europe.
Hans thought for a moment and then said, "Father, has h**... seen this map?"
Obedient husband
Little boy was curious why did his father do everything his mother asked, so one day he asked his dad: "Dad, why are you so obedient. None of other dads listen to their wife's like you."
Dad said: "Well, you see son, when you were born, your mother and I made a deal. If she would allow me to give you your name I would do anything she asks for the rest of our lives"
"Was it worth it, dad."
"It sure was, Goku."
Man walks into a bar and orders 4 beers.
Drinks them, and leaves.
Next week same time does the same thing: orders 4 beers, drinks them, and leaves.
The third week; same thing. The bartender is curious so he asks. "well, I moved here few weeks ago. Back home my 3 brothers and I met every Thursday after work for a beer. Since I was feeling homesick I figured I would keep up the tradition even if I had to do it alone."
This goes on for several weeks until one week the man comes in and orders three beers and a coke. Bartender says, "I hate to pry but what happened? Did one of your brothers pass away?"
The man chuckles and says, "No nothing like that. I decided to quit drinking."
There were two sisters
There were two sisters named Petal and Fridge.
One day Petal was curious and asked her father, "Why was I named Petal?"
His response was, "Well, when you were a baby a flower petal fell on you."
Then Fridge says, "BLARGHHHALHGLAHG".
Justin Bieber has said, "I feel like the Kurt Cobain of my generation, but people just don't understand me."
By a curious co-incidence, kurt cobain, contacted in a seance, said, "I felt like the Justin Bieber of my generation, so I killed myself."
A guy asks for a tattoo on his........
A guy asks for a tattoo of a $100 bill on his private parts. Curious, the tattoo artist asks him why he would possibly want that.
He replies, "Three reasons: I like to play with my money, I like to watch my money grow, and $100 seems to be the only thing my wife will blow these days."
Sugar
A blonde would wake up every morning, go into the kitchen, carefully open the lid of the sugar container, look into it and then close it.
This made her new boyfriend very curious. So one day he asked her why she did that. She replied, "My doctor asked me to check my sugar level every day."
You see that wall?
A group of vampire bats are hanging out in a cave. All the food in the area is gone and they are the brink of starving to death. One of the bats decides leave to look for food out of desperation. He comes back 30 minutes later and has blood on his face. The other bats are very curious and ask him repeatedly where he got the blood from. Each time, he tries to ignore them and says he doesn't want to talk about it. After 30 minutes of questioning, he breaks down and tells the others to follow him. He flies them to a huge mountainous wall 15 minutes away, and stops. He looks at the others and says,
'You see that wall?'
And they all exciteldy repeat, 'Yea yea, we see it!'
He says again, 'Do you really see that wall?'
They all say again in anticipation, 'Yea yea we see it!'
'Well I didn't!'
Inmates Running the Asylum
A guy is walking past a big wooden fence at the insane asylum and he hears all the residents inside chanting, "Thirteen! Thirteen! Thirteen!
Quite curious about this, he finds a hole in the fence, and looks in. Someone inside pokes him in the eye. Then everyone inside the asylum starts chanting, "Fourteen! Fourteen! Fourteen!"
Count Dracula walks into a bar...
and asks the bar man for a cup of boiling water. The bar man quickly returns with the water as requested, and puts it on the bar in front of Dracula. Curious, the bar man says to Dracula "Forgive me, but I thought you vampires only drank blood, what do you want the hot water for?" Dracula takes a used t**... from his cloak pocket. "For making tea, of course" replies Dracula.
A bear walks into a bar...
And says to the barman: "Give me a gin..."
.
.
.
"And tonic."
The barman, curious, asks while preparing the drink: "Hey mate, why the big pause?"
To what the bear replies "I don't know... I guess my father had them too".
A man was in bed with his girlfriend...
He noticed one of his girlfriend's b**... jiggled more when he slapped it. Curious, he began experimenting. When she asked him what he was doing he replied:
*a**...*trophysics.
The Bad News...
A man goes to the clinic for an examination. After a thorough check up, the doctor tells him, "I have some good news and some bad news." Curious, the man asks what the good news is, and the doctor replies, "the good news is: we're naming a new disease after you..."
A husband leaves his money in the attic...
His wife gets curious one day and asks why he leaves his money in the attic.
The husband replies, " So I can use it to pay rent in heaven."
A few years later the husband dies and the wife goes upstairs to see if the money is gone, and sure enough the money is still where he left it. The wife says to herself, " I knew he should have put it in the basement."
A man walks into a bar and sees a young, attractive woman.
He approaches her and asks, "Excuse me, Miss. I was curious, would you be willing to sleep with me for one million dollars?" She responds, "Well certainly!" Again he asks, "How about for $10?" This time she answers, "Not at all. What do you think I am?" The man replies, "I have already established what you are. I'm just trying to negotiate a better price."
Two Jehovah's Witnesses knock on someone's door
The house owner opens the door. "Good morning, would you like to learn about God today?" The houseowner was a little bored, and slightly curious, so he lets them in. They slowly enter, and sit down on the couch across from the houseowner. After a few seconds of silence, the houseowner asks, "Well?" The Jehovah's Witnesses look at each other and says to the houseowner, "We don't know what to say, we've never made it this far."
A lawyer, laying on his deathbed..
... in his bedroom, called to his wife and told her to run and get the Bible as soon as possible.
Being a religious woman, she thought this was a good idea, so she ran and got it.
As soon as she returned with the Bible, the lawyer snatched it from her and began quickly scanning pages, his eyes darting left and right.
Curious, his wife asked, "What are you doing, honey?"
"I'm looking for loopholes!" he shouted.
"Am I mentioned in the will?" the nephew asked anxiously.
"You certainly are" , replied the lawyer.
Right here in the third paragraph your uncle says:
To my niece Sarah I bequeath a hundred thousand dollars,
to my cousin Janice fifty thousand dollars,
and to my nephew Charles, who was always curious to know if he was mentioned in my will, I say "Hi, Charles"
Pulling Together
A guy drives into a ditch, but luckily, a farmer is there to help. He hitches his horse, Buddy, up to the car and yells, "Pull, Nellie, pull!" Buddy doesn't move.
"Pull, Buster, pull!" Buddy doesn't budge.
"Pull, Coco, pull!" Nothing.
Then the farmer says, "Pull, Buddy, pull!" And the horse drags the car out of the ditch.
Curious, the motorist asks the farmer why he kept calling his horse by the wrong name. "Buddy's blind," said the farmer. "And if he thought he was the only one pulling, he wouldn't even try."
A man was walking down the street...
...when suddenly he stopped and looked up at the sky. Curious, another man stopped next to him and also looked up at the sky. Soon more people came along and all of them looked up at the sky. Finally, a little kid approached and said, What are you all looking at?
The first man replied, I don't know about all of them. I just have a nosebleed.
I was walking by a mental institution on my way to work
And in the yard behind the fence, I heard people shouting "four, four, four...". I was curious so I peeked through the wood planks to see what was happening. Someone jabbed a stick in my eye and then everyone started shouting "five, five, five...".
An English teacher is giving a lesson on double negatives
He says to the class: "One of the curious conventions of the English language is that two negatives always result in a positive statement; however, never do two positives result in a negative one."
A voice from the back of the room says, "Yeah right".
Milkin' it.
I walked into the living room to see my wife breast feeding our son.
Being curious, I asked: "how long are you going to keep doing this, honey? I mean at what age is it too old for him?"
"Well, I think it's necessary to have quality bonding time between mother and child, and usually societal norms dictate this age aught to be ..."
I got impatient again: "Shut up son, i was talking to your mother. "
A woman goes to the pharmacy and asks for cyanide.
The pharmacist looked stunned and couldn't believe what she had asked for but he was still curious.
"Why would you want to get cyanide?"
The women replied, "My husband has been having an affair and I want to poison him."
The pharmacist tried to reason with the woman, " I can't do this for you. I would lose my license and you and I would go to prison for this."
Then the woman reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband and a woman going into a motel. Upon closer inspection the woman in the picture was the pharmacist's wife.
The pharmacist looks at the woman and says, "Why didn't you just say you had a prescription?"
I man walks into a bar
A man walks into a bar and ask for the most expensive drink, after doing that he starts doing shadow boxing, the barman looks at him confused and serves him his drink, after the man finish his drink he ask another one and starts shadow boxing again,the man finish the drink ask another one and starts shadow boxing again, the barman curious ask the man ¿when is the big fight? and the man says:whenever you want because i don't have any money
A mom caught her son jacking in the garage...
...she said to him, "Look son, I know you are at the age where you are curious and want to experiment with these kinds of things.... but please stop trying to remove the wheels of the car!"
A man is arrested for killing a condor
A man is arrested for killing an endangered condor. Before the judge, the man says, "Your honor, I only killed the condor to feed my hungry family."
The judge says, "Well, I can't charge a man for feeding his family. And I'm curious so I'll let you off with a warning if you answer one question. What did it taste like?"
The man says, Somewhere between a bald eagle and a baby seal."
Mommy, why are some of your hairs turning grey?
A curious child asked his mother: Mommy, why are some of your hairs turning grey?
The mother tried to use this occasion to teach her child: It is because of you, dear. Every bad action of yours will turn one of my hairs grey!
The child replied innocently: Now I know why grandmother has only grey hairs on her head.
A boy walks in on his father m**......
The boy, curious, asks him "Dad, what are you doing"
The dad replies "This is called m**.... You'll be doing it pretty soon too."
The kid, confused, asks "Well, how do you know that?"
The father responds "Because my arm is getting tired."
A Texan meets a Havard grad. Curious, he asks:
Texan: Where are you from?
Harvard grad: I come from a place where we do not end our sentences with prepositions.
Texan: Okay – where are you from, j**...?
My boyfriend bought me a diamond ring
The stone was cut in the shape of a four leaf clover. I wore it every day.
I got curious and had it valued at a jeweller's. Unfortunately my boyfriend had been swindled, as the diamond was actually a cubic zirconia.
It was a sham rock.
A Woman Was Walking With Her 3 Children
A mother was walking with her 3 children Rose, Lily, and Cinderblock.
Rose asks "Mom why am I named Rose?"
Her mother says "When we were coming home from the hospital a Rose fell on your head."
Lily, now curious, asks "Then why am I named Lily?"
Her mother says "When we were coming home from the hospital a Lily fell on your head."
Then Cinderblock says "ARGRGRGRGHDDEW BLDEWGD"
Met a girl that's into horoscopes
Her : I'm a Sagittarius, bet that already tells you a lot about me.
Me : So according to this website, would you say you're a curious, energetic person that wants to be a part of things rather than be a spectator?
Her : Mmmhm that's me to a T
Me : Congratulations you're an Aries.
A guy notices a crowd of women at the end of the bar
Curious, he walks toward the end and sees an immensely ugly guy being hit on by several ladies. He sits next to another fella and asks "So, what's this guy's deal? Is he rich or famous?" "Dunno," says the other guy, "he just sits there l**... his eyebrows."
A teenager, who just turned 18, desperately wants a car.
His mother tells him to buy one himself. A chemistry student himself, he finds an effective money-making strategy. Every day, he would sell mixtures of Rhenium, Phosphorus, Osmium, and Tennessine, and he was earning a lot from the sales. Curious, his mother asks him about the mixtures.
The teen replied: RePOsTs are the fastest way to car, Ma.
Two men die and arrived in heaven
Curious as to why others are here, they struck up a conversation.
Man 1: Bro how did you die?
Man 2: Due to cold, and you?
Man 1: I doubted my girlfriend with another guy, searched the entire house but found none. I felt too guilty and committed s**....
Man 2: Lol, I was in the fridge
A woman is walking home with her three daughters.
The eldest daughter turns to her and asks, "Mummy, how did I get my name?"
"Well sweetie, when we were bringing you home from the hospital, a rose petal landed on your head! So that's why we named you Rose".
The second daughter, now curious, asks the same question.
"Well darling, when we were bringing *you* home from the hospital, a *lily* petal landed on your head! So that's why we named you Lily."
The third girl asks "AAArrgghhrasfdg".
"Shhh, quiet now, Cinderblock".
3 girls and thier mother were walking through a park...
Girl 1 turned to her mother and said...
Girl 1: Mommy, why is my name Lily?
Mom: Because when we took you out of the Hospital, a Lily petal fell on your head.
The second Daughter, now curious, asks the same question...
Girl 2: Why is my name Rose?
Mom: When we took you out of the Hospital, a rose petal landed onto your head
This is when the 3rd daughter pipes up and says...
Girl 3: AAAARRRGHFFFFJJJFSSSLLLHHH
Mom: Shhhhhhh, quiet down now Cinder Block
A woman with hairy armpits enters a bar..
She sits at the end of the bar and raises her arm to call the bartender and a drunkard would say, "Hey, bartender.. give the ballerina a beer on me.."
This happened two more times and the bartender finally asks, "Tell me, I'm curious.. What makes you say that the woman at the end of the bar is a ballerina? "
The drunkard shrugs and says, "Any woman that could lift her leg that high must be a ballerina."
A gorilla walks into a bar
He orders a beer. The bartender figures "what does a gorilla know?", charges the gorilla $50 for the beer. Gorilla pays him.
It's early, the bar is quiet, so the bartender isn't busy. He is curious, so he says to the gorilla "You know, we don't get many gorillas in here."
"At these prices, it's no wonder."
A mathematician arrives at work on a bike
His colleague asks "Where did you get the bike?"
"That's really curious. Imagine, I was walking down the road, suddenly that young woman comes along on this bike, jumps off, takes her dress off 'til she's n**... and says "Take what you want". So I took the bike."
"Makes sense", his colleague says, "I don't think you'd look good in a dress".
Once, a prince..
..decided to disguise himself and mingle with people to see their hardships by himself. There, he encountered a farmer who looked exactly like him. Curious, the prince approached the farmer and asked him "By any chance, did your mother work in the palace?"
The farmer replied, "No, but
.
.
My father used to work in the palace"
P.S.:This is an old Indian joke, I'm doing my best to translate it. Hope I can make some people smile:)
A guy walks into a bar
He sits down and orders a drink. After he finishes it, he takes out a picture and looks at it for a couple minutes before putting it away and ordering another drink. He repeats this a few times always looking at the picture in between drinks.
The bartender gets curious and says "Man I have to know, what picture are you looking at?"
The man says "Oh, it's just my wife. I don't go home until she's pretty!"
A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning.
The wife (a blonde), picked up the phone, listened a moment and said, "How should I know, that's 200 miles from here!"and hung up.
Curious, the husband said, "Who was that?" And his lovely wife replies, "I don't have any idea who it was. It was some s**... woman wanting to know "if the coast is clear."
An old friend of mine married a young girl
As we're not exactly young ourselves, I was curious how he held up, and asked him how often they had s**....
Almost every day, he said.
Almost every day?! I exclaimed.
Yes, almost on Monday, almost on Tuesday, almost on Wednesday...
The rain was pouring and there was a big puddle in front of the pub.
A ragged old man was standing there with a rod and hanging a string into the puddle.
A curious gentleman came over and asked what he was doing. "Fishing", the old man said simply. "Poor old fool", the gentleman thought, and he invited the ragged old man to a drink in the pub.
He felt he should start some conversation while they were sipping their whiskey, so he asked the old man, "and how many have you caught?"
"You're the eighth", the old man answered.
A blonde is walking past a pasture
Being curious about various farm animals and seeing a farmer nearby she asks him "How come those cows don't have horns? I thought cows have horns." Farmer, happy to explain the situation to polite woman nods and says "You see miss, we often remove horns from cows. That way they don't get into accidents, don't hurt each other, don't get tangled into branches or fences or simialr. We do that by either sawing them off of putting a drop of acid on the horns when they are still young so they don't grow. But those particular cows don't have horns because they are horses."
My boyfriend bought me a diamond ring The stone was cut in the shape of a four leaf clover. I wore it all the time to show how much it meant to me.
One day, I got curious and had it valued at a jeweller's. Unfortunately they told me that my boyfriend had been swindled, as the diamond was actually a cubic zirconia.
It was a sham rock.
A person is walking down the street and hears a bunch of people in a fenced-in yard shouting, "19! 19! 19! 19!"
Curious, he walks over and looks through a hole in the fence. Someone from the other side pokes him in the eye and they all start shouting "20! 20! 20!"
A small airplane crashes into the ground in a small town, and some curious locals go to the c**... site to see what happened.
Some of the locals start digging to see if there are any survivors trapped in the plane.
A few hours in, they give up the search and one of the locals goes back to his house and tells his wife what happened.
He tells his wife that there were over 1000 bodies found in the c**... site, but no survivors were found.
Oh my god, where did it c**...? the wife asked in shock.
In the town cemetery. the husband replied.
My sister is taking part in a social experiment. She has to wear a Boris is doing his best t-shirt for 2 weeks and see how people react. So far she's been spit on, punched and had a bottle thrown at her!
I'm curious to see what happens when she goes outside.
A mother and her three daughters, Rose, Lily, and Cinderblock are walking down a path
Lily asks her mom mom, why did you name me Lily? The mom replies Because when we were taking you home from the delivery room, a lily fell on your head Curious, Rose asks Mom, why is my name Rose? Her mother says because when we were taking you home from the delivery room, a rose fell on your head Finally, Cinderblock says HSIEMDNJSISOSNGGJSKKSH
Tonight I did a delivery to the local mental asylum.
Being curious, I asked the doctor how do they determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.
"Well," said the doctor, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub."
"Oh, I understand," I said. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup."
"No." said the doctor, "A normal person would pull the bathtub drain plug. Do you want a bed near the window?"
