Curiosity Jokes

Following is our collection of inquisitive puns and man one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Curiosity jokes for adults, dirty curios jokes and clean bartender dad gags for kids.

The Best Curiosity Puns

Why are there no cats on Mars?

Curiosity.

They found a cat on mars...

A live cat was found roaming the surface of Mars. Scientists planned to have the Mars Rover capture the animal to study it but unfortunately while attempting to capture the feline, Curiosity killed the cat.

Human drinks a Vampire's blood. Out of curiosity, the Vampire asks what it tastes like.

"It's irony."

News has just come in that The Mars Rover has discovered a member of the feline species while exploring.

Unfortunately, Curiosity killed the cat.

Two blondes were walking through the park digging holes and filling them up again.

One of them would dig the holes, and the other would fill them up. One man couldn't control his curiosity and asked the blondes why they were digging and filling holes pointlessly, to which one replied:

"Well, there was supposed to be another one of us planting saplings before we fill the holes, but she couldn't come so we'll have to make do without her."


Did you know they tested the Mars rover against animal attacks?

They had to switch to dogs because Curiosity killed the cat.

Curiosity killed the cat...

NASA sincerely apologizes...

A kangaroo walks into a bar

A kangaroo walks into a bar and orders a beer. He pays with a twenty and the bartender figures, "What does a kangaroo know about money?" gives him a single in change.

Then his curiosity gets the better of him. "You know," he says to the kangaroo, "we don't get a lot of kangaroos in this place."

The kangaroo replies sourly, "Yeah, and at $19 for a beer, you won't be getting many more."

A priest was confronted by a prostitute.

"Do want a quickie for ten bucks?"

Not knowing what it was, he said no. When he got back to the monastery, his curiosity got the better of him. So he asked a nun, "what's a quickie?"

The nun replied "Ten bucks same as in town."

One Day a Cowboy Rode into Town

He tied up his horse and entered a saloon

When he exited the saloon, he found his horse missing

The cowboy shouted, "I'm going to go inside for another drink, when I'm done, my horse better be returned. If not, I'll do what I did back in Texas."

The cowboy went back inside the bar, got a drink, and returned to find his horse.

As he saddled up, a man approached him and asked,

"Out of curiosity, what did you do back in Texas?"

The cowboy responded,

"I had to walk home."

P.S. Sorry

An old Hitler joke

Some time ago, a medium contacted Hitler's spirit by accident. Out of curiosity, he decided to listen to what Hitler had to say.

"Listen to my words, you little brat: I'm gonna reincarnate someday, and I'm gonna kill six million Jews and two dogs".

"Why the two dogs?" the medium replied.

"See, nobody cares about the Jews!"


Curiosity killed the...

...white people in horror movies.

Why are there no cats on Mars?

Because curiosity killed them all.

They say curiosity killed the cat,

but what I want to know is how the cat got to Mars in the first place

A man asks the doctor: -"Have you got the results of my tests? I'm dying of curiosity!"

And the doctor replies: -"It's not just curiosity..."

Was walking by a mental hospital when...

I was walking down the street in front of a mental hospital when I heard a large group of people chanting 14, 14, 14, 14. My curiosity got the better of me so I peered through a small hole in the fence at which point a finger immediately poked me in the eye. After a short round of celebration I then heard the people start chanting 15, 15, 15, 15.

Why was Mars overrun with mice?

Curiosity killed the cat.

A Russian family moves to America...

...but they can't pay their rent, so the husband says to his wife, "You must go out and sell your body." The wife does and comes back two hours later. The husband asks, "How much did you make?" The wife replies, "50 dollars and 10 cents." The husband asks out of curiosity, "Who gave you the ten cents?" The wife says, "They ALL did."

A man ordered two drinks at once every day...

The bartenders curiosity got the better of him, and he asked "Why not just get a double?"
The man answered "I'm drinking one for myself and one for my buddy that didn't make it back from Iraq."
After a couple of months, the man started ordering just one drink. The nosy bartender asked what's up.
"My doctor told me I have to quit drinking."


America just sent the Curiosity rover to Mars...

America just sent the Curiosity rover to Mars as the country watched with pride. Iran, wanting to gain a technological/global edge, decided to show up America by announcing a manned mission to the sun the very next day. The Americans, along with other western allies, decided to meet with the Iranian government to express their concern. In a conference room filled with diplomats and astrophysicists, the US delegation protested to the Iranians, Listen. Differences aside, we can't let you send people to the sun. It's suicide. They burn to death even at far distances! Please don't carry out this mission! The Iranians laughed wittily amongst themselves, jabbing each other with elbows and pointing at the westerners as one Iranian says, Stupid Americans! They think we're going during the daytime!

Today I decided to donate blood...

After the procedure I asked the nurse what my blood type was out of curiosity. She told me I was type A so I thanked her and left. As I was walking out the door she came sprinting after me and said Wait, I told you the wrong blood type on accident, it was a type O.

A black man walks into a bar...

And sits down with a parrot on his shoulder. When the bartender asks what he would like to drink, the parrot answers instead.
"Vodka!" it squawks.
Amazed by the trick, the bartender got him his drink and stood back in awe. A few minutes later, the curiosity became to strong for the bartender and he had to know.
" hey, where did u get that? It's so well trained!"
"Africa" answers the parrot.

Ole and Sven

A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink.

"why sure," comes the reply.

The first man then asks: "where ya from?"

"Norway," replies the second man.

The first man responds, "Ya don't say, I'm from Norway too! Let's have another round to Norway."

Curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Norway are ya from?"

"Bergen," comes the reply.

"I can't believe it," says the first man. "I'm from Bergen too! Let's have another drink to old Bergen."

Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "So, where did you live?"

"On a boat, at the fishin' docks," replies the second man.

"Dis is unbelievable!," the first man says. "I lived on a boat at the fishin' docks, too!"

About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar.

"What's up?," he asks the bartender.

"Nothing much," replies the bartender. "Ole and his brother Sven are getting drunk again."

Scientists and spiders.

There was a scientist working away in obscurity for years with peculiar experiments on spiders. After years and years he placed an advertisement in several academic journals to let everyone know he and was to host a live show to demonstrate his findings.

At the event hundreds were there more out of curiosity than anything as the details of the findings were kept secret. The man himself wandered on stage and silenced the murmurs.

'Today I will demonstrate two things. The first being that spiders can understand and respond to basic commands.'

The crowd laughed and jeered but undeterred he opened a box on his desk and a spider crawled out.
'Spider, walk left'

The spider moved to its left. The crowd was silenced.
'Spider, move right.'

The spider moved right. The crowd gasped. Forward, backward, the spider responded again and again. The crowd applauded in awe.

The scientist then removed all of the spider's legs. The crowd, confused by this, watched in silence.
'Move left'

The spider didn't move.
'Move right'

Nothing. Forward, backward, no response.
'This is to demonstrate my second finding. Once you remove a spider's legs, it goes deaf.'

Why are there no cats on Mars?

Curiosity killed them all!

At the post office....

A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them.

His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he is doing. The man says "I'm sending out 1,000 Valentine cards signed, 'Guess who?'" "But why?" asks the man. "I'm a divorce lawyer," the man replies.

Walking past a lunatic asylum

Walking past a lunatic asylum , and I could hear the inmates shouting 13, 13, 13, 13, curiosity got the better of me but the walls were too tall to see over .all the time they kept on shouting 13, 13, 13, finally I found a hole in the wall so I took a peep and some fool poked me in the eye with a stick and then they started shouting 14, 14, 14, 14,

He was right

I was walking down the street and a man offered to read me my fortune for $5. I agreed out of curiosity. He takes hold of my hand and then said you're gonna be pissed and took off running.

Was walking by a mental hospital when.....

I was walking down the street in front of a mental hospital when I heard a large group of people chanting 6, 6, 6, 6. My curiosity got the better of me thinking I was about to witness some sort of satanic ritual, so I peered through a small hole in the fence at which point a finger immediately poked me in the eye. After a short round of celebration and applause from inside, I then heard the people start chanting 7, 7, 7, 7.

Willie saw some dynamite

Willie saw some dynamite,
Couldn't understand it quite;
Curiosity never pays:
It rained Willie seven days.

Doctor are my results ready?

"Doctor, are my results ready? I'm dying from curiosity!"

Doctor: "Heh, not only from curiosity ;)"

I accidentally ran over and killed my neighbor's cat today...

I was too scared to tell him to his face, so I left a note saying "curiosity was here."

A man is walking by a mental hospital and hears chanting.

A man is walking by a mental hospital and hears chanting from over the fence. He stops to listen and hears that they are saying "Five! Five! Five! Five!"

His curiosity peaked, he walks until he sees a hole in the fence. He puts his eye up to the hole to try to see what's going on, when he's poked in the eye by a broom handle! Angry and in pain, he starts to walk away and hears that the chanting is now, "Six! Six! Six! Six!"

BREAKING NEWS: NASA announces Mars Rover discovered new feline-like life form on the Red Planet

Unfortunately, it ran over the newly discovered creature. Yes, it seems Curiosity killed the cat.

A man goes for a walk...

and as he walks he approaches the local mental institution, on the other side of the wall he can hear the patients chanting "3! 3! 3! 3!". His curiosity has been piqued by all the commotion coming from within so he decides to take a glimpse through a hole he sees in the wall, as he bends down and peers through the wall silence falls over the yard and a long stick gets shoved through the hole and pokes him in the eye

"4! 4! 4! 4! 4!"

Scientists now think cats originated on Mars. NASA was set to retrieve a specimen confirming this,

...but curiosity killed it.

Farming for a Nobel Prize

Farmer John is driving along the road one day when he spots his neighbour, Bill, standing on top of his tractor in the middle of his field. Overcome with curiosity, he ambles over and asks Bill what he is up to?
Bill replies, "Trying to win a Nobel prize".
"How do you figure?"
"Well, I hear they give them to people who are outstanding in their fields!"

Curiosity

I walk past a mental Asylum every day and yesterday as I neared I could hear them chanting "Seven..Seven..Seven." This continued as I walked along the wooden fence and I found myself looking for a gap to see what was going on. About 100m down the fence i spotted a hole where the knot had fallen out and hurried towards it. I jammed my eye up to the hole, rather excited to see the ruckus and a finger sprung out and jabbed me in th eye. "Eight..eight..eight."

A pirate walks into a bar...

... and sits down to order a drink. The bartender notices something peculiar about the pirate and can't hold in his curiosity.

"Hey buddy", the bartender says. "Why is there a wheel sticking out the front of your pants?"

"Yarr", the pirate replies. "I don't know, but it's driving me nuts".

When I was younger, I owned a dog named curiosity.

I also owned a cat but, you know what they say, curiosity killed the cat

Curiosity killed the.....

Martian race

An Amish family went to the city for the first time ever.

They went to a mall. The Amish man saw an old woman get into an elevator. He observed with curiosity as he had never seen anything like it before. Two minutes later, a young beautiful woman came out of the same elevator.
The Amish man turned to his son and said
"go get your mother!"

Scientists at NASA

Scientists at NASA reported today that they had discovered feline life on Mars. Unfortunately, the Mars rover that discovered the specimen also ran over it just minutes later. Said one scientist "We were all really excited until Curiosity killed the cat."

Did you know there used to be a cat on Mars?

Yeah, till Curiosity killed it.

I was surprised when a friend said he'll work at KFC right after graduation..

Out of curiosity, I asked him why.



All he said was, "It's in my bucket list."

What do you call a suicidal cat?

Curiosity.

Trump and Obama having a private conversation in 2012

Trump: Mr. Obama, out of sheer curiosity, what must I need to do in order to be elected President of the United States?

Obama: President?? You have to be stupid, ignorant, probably delusional to think you can be qualified to be the President of the United States!

Trump: Perfect, I will see you on your way out then.

Obama: What???

The Flintstones

One day pebbles took a shower with Fred and Wilma. Her curiosity lead her to ask questions

Pebbles: Mama what's that between your legs?

Wilma: oh honey that's mommy's rock cutter.

Pebbles: Dada what's the between your legs?

Fred: oh sweetie that's my rock.

Pebbles: oh I get it, when daddy puts his rock into mommy's rock cutter out comes Pebbles!

I really hope someone brings their cat to Mars only to get it get run over

So we can finally say Curiosity killed the cat.

Curiosity killed the cat.

NASA apologized profusely.

I asked my doctor: "Doc, did the lab results come back yet? The curiosity is killing me."

Doc: "Well, it's not the curiosity ..."

What was the first thing the stowaway to Mars said after he landed?

Just out of Curiosity...

A man's in the hospital bed

When the doctor came in, so he asks:
Doctor, how did my tests went? I'm dying of curiosity
Which he answers:
Well, not just of curiosity

What kind of tea is deadly to cats?

Curiosity

Just out of curiosity, does anyone here use RES?

Because I'm really wishing that they'd changed the 'Hide Child Comments' button for the Chris Hansen AMA.

A Scotsman is at a bar..

A woman at the bar looks on in interest at his kilt, noticing this he yells at her "You can put your hand up there if ya like!"

She can't contain her curiosity, and upon sliding her hand up his kilt she shrieks "Oh it's gruesome!"

He chuckles,

"Put your hand up again lass, It's grew some more!!"

Curiosity actually killed my cat.

Worst stripper ever.

Why was the little Martian sad?

Curiosity killed his cat.

A cat goes to the doctor to get diagnosed

He goes to his office and says:

Cat:"Doc, the last few weeks have been really rough, My head is starting to hurt a lot and my tummy hurts"

Doctor:"Well, those are common symptoms for...Damn it I forgot what's its called!"

Cat:"C'mon doc, I'm dying from curiosity"

Doctor:"yeah that's the one!"

A man is sitting on a barstool...

and eating from a bowl of peanuts. But instead of just eating them, he takes one peanut at a time, mutters "You suck!", and then crams it into his mouth. He continues to do this for a while.

Finally, the woman next to him can't contain her curiosity. "Why are you saying that?" she asks.

"I like them roasted."

So apparently Curiosity, a Mars rover, found something resembling a mouse...

If Mars is suffering from a mouse infestation it's probably because Curiosity killed the cat.

Curiosity just found organic molecules preserved in rock on Mars.

Big deal, if you go to my room right now you can find organic molecules preserved in a sock.

Two Parents Get Arrested

A couple is arrested after they get caught burning their son's name on farms. Picture a big bonfire, but it spells their son's name.

It's a tense ride into the station. The parents are obviously nervous, so the officer makes some small talk.

After a while, though, the curiosity gets the best of him so he asks them why.

Cop: Of all things to spell out, why your son's name?

Dad: We figured it was the best way to show how much we love arson.

Letter to a madman

Inside a hospice, a madman approaches the others with a blank paper, examining it with attention. The other crazy people can not resist curiosity and ask:

_ What is it?

The crazy one with the letter, responds

_ A letter from my brother

Even for the other crazy people, that was too absurd.

_ But the letter is blank.

The madman responds serenely

_ We do not talk anymore

May be behind but what do you call a Curiosity with only 2 wheels

Bi-curious

It's not curiosity that killed the cat

... it was procatstination

A Touching story

one day a boy was walking home from school and saw a cat lying motionless on the sidewalk. To satisfy his curiosity the boy walked up to the cat to see if it was injured or dead. He touched the cautiously the first time but there was no response. So He touched the cat again. He continued touching, touching and touching. Like i said in the title, this is a touching story.

Thirteen

A guy goes for a walk and when he passes by the mental hospital, he hears a patient inside yelling "Thirteen! Thirteen! Thirteen!"

The guy moves along and later when he's returning home and walks by the same hospital, he hears the same voice again yelling "Thirteen! Thirteen! Thirteen!"

And then he sees a small hole in the wall. The curiosity was too strong and when he takes a peek the patient pokes him in the eye with a stick and starts yelling "Fourteen! Fourteen! Fourteen!"

Going up in a lift

on campus l read on one wall ,'Look on the opposite wall for lift-tennis!' Curiosity compelled me to do that, and l read,'Look on the opposite wall for lift-tennis! '

A man is strolling past an insane asylum when..

When he hears a loud chanting.

Thirteen! Thirteen! Thirteen! goes the noise form within the mental hospital's wards.

The man's curiosity gets the better of him and he searches for a hole in the security fence. It's not long before he finds a small crack, so he leans forward and peers in.

Instantly, something jabs him in the eye.

As he reels back in agony, the chanting continues: Fourteen! Fourteen! Fourteen!

A woman is in line at the grocery store when a very drunk man behind her looks the items in her cart and slurs "you mus' be single...!"

She was set to ignore him when she notices her shopping. There's nothing in her cart that would indicate her relationship status...

Curiosity gets the better of her and she answers him
"I am actually, but, how did you know?"

The drunk straightens up slightly and says "cos you're fuckin' ugly...!"

What's a mouse's best friend?

Curiosity!

NASA announced today it discovered a petting zoo on Mars

This comes after an accident in which Curiosity killed the cat.

An elderly woman asked a young man if he wanted to try 69.

Out of curiosity, he agreed.

Whilst they were doing the deed, she accidentally farted. Embarrassed, she apologised, and they continued.

The same thing happened a short while later, and the woman apologised again, to which the young man replied:

"No can do lady, I ain't gonna wait for the other 67!"

Curiosity killed my cat.

But now I know what they're made of.

The JFK files will be released today.

If there's anything that satisfies conspiracy theorists' curiosity, it's files released by the government.

Insane Asylum

A man was walking down the street next to the Insane Aslyum.

As he was walking he heard voices over the wall chanting 21. Curiosity took over and he found a hole in the wall and looked through it.

When he looked all the sudden a stick poked him in the eye and the people behind the wall started chanting 22.

There is an abundance of excitement jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 77 funniest jokes and curiosity puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any curiousity witze you can hear about curiosity.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes