The Best 47 Cult Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Cult jokes. There are some cult nsync jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these cult satanic puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Cult Jokes and Puns

What is the difference between a cult and a religion?

In a cult the main person knows it's all bullshit. In religion that person is dead.

Why did the trout leave the cult?

They were too sacrifishal

Cultural Diversity--True Story

When I was six I learned about Hanukkah in school. My teacher told me, "Christians celebrate Christmas, and Jews celebrate Hanukkah."

That night I was waiting in line at Hometown Buffet with my family and asked Mom why the restaurant would be closed for Christmas.

"It's so that the people who work here can spend Christmas with their families." She said.

In a loud, excited voice I piped up, "BUT COULDN'T THEY GET SOME JEWS TO WORK HERE?"

We never went back.

Cult joke, Cultural Diversity--True Story

One I came up with today.

Did you hear about the new cult that worships testicles?

They are sacreligious.

Culturally no one in alaska dates in the winter.

When asked why, one alaskan replied, "We try, but its hard to break the ice."

How do bacteria start a cult?

They use a start a cult-ure

I joined a cribbage cult recently

They practice peggin' rituals

Cult joke, I joined a cribbage cult recently

What do you call a Cult that is hard to get into?


Why did the cultists drink the Kool-Aid?

To get to the other side.

What's the difference between a religion and a cult?

A religion drinks wine and a cult drinks Kool-Aid.

What kind of movies do Scientologists like?

Cult classics

You can explore cult sect reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean cult scientology dad jokes. There are also cult puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

Have you seen that old movie about the KKK?

I hear it's a real cult classic.

What does the NFL, NBA, and the Catholic Church have in common?

They all have a cult following

What do you call a sacrificial pig?

Cult Cuts

Why can't you get out of an R. Kelly cult?

Once urine, urine

There once was a cult obsessed with male genitalia

There once was a cult that was obsessed with male genitalia.
This cult would accept anybody with a phallus, or even something resembling it in the appropriate place.
You could say that they never turned away any potential members.

Cult joke, There once was a cult obsessed with male genitalia

Women love Evan Peters

You could say he has a cult following

I'll see myself out

What did the Cult of the Train summon?


What do you call Charles Manson's music?

A *cult* classic.


Have you heard of the Christian cult that thinks that the world started 6,000yrs ago in the Balkans?


California hasn't fallen into the sea, so apparently it worked.

Back in the 1970's there was a cult in California who believed that they could save California by appeasing the San Andreas. There were parts of San Andreas that literally gaped open wide, and members of the cult were noted for throwing all their earthly possessions down into the amazingly deep cracks in the Earth's crust. Of course, skeptics accused the cult of being merely generous to a fault.

I've been meaning to make more friends recently...

So I've joined a suicide cult and I'm going to hang with them for a while.

My uncle started a cult,

...And married twenty women. People are telling me it's a terrible situation, but I think there's a lot of nuance.

How do you avoid STDs while in a dangerous cult?

By making sure to practice safe sects

This culture of inclusiveness is getting out of hand

I mean, even Jurassic Park engineered a Trannysaurus Rex

Why is Scientology often brought up when talking about quack religions?

It's a cult classic

Not sure if this has been told before

Some cultures use different parts of the body to represent different numbers.

If you don't know these aspects of the culture, you may not value the people. But I find you can count on them once you get to know them better.

If car brand became a cult,

Would the leader of dodge be Jesus Chrysler?

What do you call it when a cult is looking to get a loan for property?

Compound interest

I joined a cult once, and the atmosphere was very toxic.

They kept telling me to kill myself.

Did you hear about the new cult that worships fabrics?

They're Satinists.

Why was it so hard to get out of R. Kelly's sex cult?

Because once you're in, urine.

Reporter 1: The cult members seem totally brainwashed, and still place their blind faith in a false savior offering hollow promises of salvation!

Reporter 2: And that concludes our report from the White House.

I asked R Kelly what was required to be in his cult

He replied "you're in"

What cult was the chicken part of?


What do you call a person who discriminates against cult members?

A cultist

Have you heard about pogo stick cult?

Prophets have gone through the roof.

What cult is run by birds?

The Coo Clucks Clan

Star Wars is about the eternal conflict between two opposing forces. One headhunts children across the galaxy, puts them into a religious cult, indoctrinates them, even forbids them from having a relationship, then sends them off to die in the nearest war.

The other is the Sith.

My friend joined a cult. They believe that one day they will cease to exist in their human form, and become water vapor.

I told him, "you will be mist".

A rapist, a plagiarist, and a cult member walk into a bar...

Oh wait, I meant the Supreme Court.

How to start a cult

1. Claim you have talked to God
2. ???
3. >!Prophet!<

It was on this day in 1978 that cult leader Jim Jones carried out a mass murder/suicide of over 900 of his followers in Jonestown, Guyana. Horrifying. There's a joke about it but it's wildly innappriopriate.

And anyway, the punchline's too long.

Did you know that cultures with arranged marriages typically serve melon at the wedding feast?

Yep. It symbolizes the fact that they cantelope.

How did the GOP shoot themselves in the foot?

With a Cult 45.

Also works with, How does a democracy die? , etc.

Sorry if someone already thought of this, thought it was clever and didn't see it after a quick glance.

What's the difference between a cult and a religion?

In a cult, there is someone on top that knows it's all nonsense.

In a religion that person is dead.

What's the toughest cult to join..


Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the cult atheism jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working cult followers piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes