Cuddle Jokes

Following is our collection of gentle puns and engage one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Cuddle jokes for adults, dirty nestle jokes and clean hug dad gags for kids.

The Best Cuddle Puns

So explain this logic for me. So a girl can cuddle another girl and still be straight right?

But when I cuddle another guy I'm a creep and need to leave the morgue immediately

My girlfriend's dog came running up to us for a cuddle.

"I love you Freddy," she said, stroking his fur.

"I love him more than you," I replied.

She said, "I don't think so, I definitely love him most."

I said, "You misunderstood me."

Why didn't Neo ever cuddle Trinity from behind in bed?

Because there is no spoon.

I'd rather cuddle than have sex

*then

I would rather cuddle then have sex.

If your good with grammar you'll get it.


My GF is really starting to remind me of my dog...

We cuddle, I take her out every now and then, we walk together, I feed her...

And in exchange, we have sex!

One of the most wonderful things in life is to wake up and enjoy a cuddle with somebody

I know my cellmate loves it

Cuddling

I cuddle with my husband about two or three times a week.

Yeah? Me just once.

Oh, but wait, I thought you were single.

Ah I see. I thought we were talking about your husband.

What do you call a cuddle with only one person?

A cddle, because u weren't there

I got a private dance from a stripper.

When she was done, she gave me her phone number.

I said, "If I give you £50, will you come back to my place for a kiss and a cuddle?"

She said, "It will have to be more than that."

I said, "That's fine. What about sex?"

I cuddle with my husband about two or three times a week.

I cuddle with my husband about two or three times a week.

Yeah? Me just once.

Oh, but wait, I thought you were single.

Ah I see. I thought we were talking about your husband.


The other night, I asked a woman If she wanted to come back to my place for a cuddle.

She said, "There will be no spooning. There will definitely be no forking. But if you talk to me again, there will be a knifing."

What's the difference between a girlfriend and a toilet

The toilet doesn't want to cuddle after you dump a load in it.

Cuddle

One of the most wonderful things in life is to wake up and enjoy a cuddle with somebody; unless you are in prison

Why did the nurse cuddle with her locked-in syndrome patients right after their sponge bath?

Because she likes her vegetables at the peak of freshness

What do you call a minstrel that doesn't cuddle?

No holds bard.

No Contact?

Places seems to be advertising No contact delivery , and No contact click n collect a lot these days. Was there ever a contact option?..

Thanks for the pizza, ready for the cuddle? .

Yup, really wonderful.

One of the most wonderful things in life is to wake up and enjoy a cuddle with somebody; unless you are in prison.

When my wife wants to cuddle in bed, I make her play the big spoon..

That way when she farts, she farts away from me. She's like my little jet pack.


Some nights I wrestle with my anxieties...

But other nights we cuddle.

I'll have a club sandwich on rye.

Hold the mayo. Cuddle the mustard. Whisper soft words of confidence to the lettuce. Make love to the onion

Every day when I get home from work I kiss my front door, then I cuddle one of the walls, and I comfort a few of the windows.

It's a detached house.

I wanted to cuddle with my blankey, but..

It's over me and I'm full of sheet.

Women and washing machines

What's the difference between a woman and a washing machine?

Washing machine doesn't want to cuddle after you drop a load in it.

Feeding your cat and sleeping with men have a lot in common

They only really like you if they still want to cuddle after.

Clueless husband

A woman was laying in bed with her husband at night when she said:"honey i m cold" , he said: "wear warmer clothes", then she said "i m still very cold" he responds "cover yoursef with another blanket" ,the wife who seemed displeased said:"when i was cold my mother used to hug me tightly and cuddle til we slept" her husband says in an angry voice:"Are you telling me we should bring your mother to sleep with us,why do you always say unromantic things in bed!".

What did the introvert say when his girlfriend took his hand and asked him to cuddle on the couch?

"Why must it be a group activity?"

I feel bad for people who payed $100 to watch the fight.

if they wanted to see a cocky black dude and a well-mannered asian cuddle they should've just rented Rush Hour

What's the difference between a badminton birdie and 'Netflix & chill' on a microfiber couch?

One is a shuttlecock, the other's a cuddle shock

There is an abundance of caress jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 29 funniest jokes and cuddle puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any kiss witze you can hear about cuddle.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

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