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Cuddle Jokes

51 cuddle jokes and hilarious cuddle puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about cuddle that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Looking for a laugh? These cuddle jokes are sure to give you a giggle. From funny cuddle puns to jokes about cuddling, we've got you covered.

Best Short Cuddle Jokes

Short cuddle jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The cuddle humour may include short hugged jokes also.

  1. So explain this logic for me. So a girl can cuddle another girl and still be straight right? But when I cuddle another guy I'm a creep and need to leave the morgue immediately
  2. One of the best feelings in the world is to wake up with someone cuddling with you... Unless you're in prison.
  3. Cuddling I cuddle with my husband about two or three times a week.

    Yeah? Me just once.

    Oh, but wait, I thought you were single.

    Ah I see. I thought we were talking about your husband.
  4. One of the most wonderful things in life is to wake up and enjoy a cuddle with somebody I know my cellmate loves it
  5. What's the difference between a girlfriend and a toilet The toilet doesn't want to cuddle after you dump a load in it.
  6. Cuddle One of the most wonderful things in life is to wake up and enjoy a cuddle with somebody; unless you are in prison
  7. Cuddling with somebody is probably the most comforting thing in the world... ...unless you're in prison.
  8. Why did the nurse cuddle with her locked-in syndrome patients right after their sponge bath? Because she likes her vegetables at the peak of freshness
  9. No Contact? Places seems to be advertising No contact delivery , and No contact click n collect a lot these days. Was there ever a contact option?..
    Thanks for the pizza, ready for the cuddle? .
  10. Yup, really wonderful. One of the most wonderful things in life is to wake up and enjoy a cuddle with somebody; unless you are in prison.

Quick Jump To


Cuddle joke, Yup, really wonderful.


Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about cuddle can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of cuddle puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

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Cuddle One Liners

Which cuddle one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with cuddle? I can suggest the ones about hugs and pillow.

  1. Why didn't Neo ever cuddle Trinity from behind in bed? Because there is no spoon.
  2. What do you call a cuddle with only one person? A cddle, because u weren't there
  3. Q: what's the friendliest animal in the sea? A cuddle-fish.
  4. what's sea creature makes sure its partner knows they're loved? a cuddle-fish
  5. My wife likes to cuddle with me to warm up when she is cold, she is a Joule thief.
  6. Dating is cuddling on the sofa. Marriage is sleeping on the sofa.
  7. What do you call a minstrel that doesn't cuddle? No holds bard.
  8. Some nights I wrestle with my anxieties... But other nights we cuddle.
  9. What do you call a cuddling overheat? Spoontaneus combustion.
  10. I wanted to cuddle with my blankey, but.. It's over me and I'm full of sheet.
  11. My new roomate likes me I woke up with him cuddling on my bunk
  12. There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.
  13. Why is cuddling also known as Spooning? Because otherwise you're Forking.
  14. What fish loves to cuddle? The cuttlefish
  15. White People Terrified of Gluten but will cuddle with bears.

Cuddle Up Jokes

Here is a list of funny cuddle up jokes and even better cuddle up puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I'll have a club sandwich on rye. Hold the mayo. Cuddle the mustard. Whisper soft words of confidence to the lettuce. Make love to the onion
  • When my wife wants to cuddle in bed, I make her play the big spoon.. That way when she farts, she farts away from me. She's like my little jet pack.
  • While a couple was cuddling up the girl perks her head up and asks "babe, you'd never cheat on me would you?" "of course not. Jeez, what is up with you galls today?"
  • I used to enjoy cuddling with the babysitter when she put me to bed, but meanwhile it feels a bit weird. Especially when my wife is not yet asleep.
  • Every day when I get home from work I kiss my front door, then I cuddle one of the walls, and I comfort a few of the windows. It's a detached house.
  • Feeding your cat and sleeping with men have a lot in common They only really like you if they still want to cuddle after.
  • Women and washing machines What's the difference between a woman and a washing machine?
    Washing machine doesn't want to cuddle after you drop a load in it.
  • What did the introvert say when his girlfriend took his hand and asked him to cuddle on the couch? "Why must it be a group activity?"
  • What's the difference between a badminton birdie and 'Netflix & chill' on a microfiber couch? One is a shuttlecock, the other's a cuddle shock
  • I read a survey that said 82% of people enjoy being cuddled. But if the people on this bus are any indication, the real figure is, like 0%.
Cuddle joke

Hilarious Cuddle Jokes that Bring Laughter with Friends

What funny jokes about cuddle you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean embrace jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make cuddle prank.

My girlfriend's dog came running up to us for a cuddle.

"I love you Freddy," she said, s**... his fur.
"I love him more than you," I replied.
She said, "I don't think so, I definitely love him most."
I said, "You misunderstood me."

I'd rather cuddle than have s**...

*then

I would rather cuddle then have s**....

If your good with grammar you'll get it.

Every night I have a different cat cuddle up in bed with me right on my c**....

That genies an a**....

My GF is really starting to remind me of my dog...

We cuddle, I take her out every now and then, we walk together, I feed her...
And in exchange, we have s**...!

Jack got chatting with a girl in a bar last night,

"Can I buy you a drink?" He asked.
"Don't you have a girlfriend?" she replied, "Guys like you always have girlfriends.
""No, sadly we broke up just over a month ago," Jack assured her.
"Oh I'm sorry to hear that," she said, "Go on then, I'll have a Cider please.
A few drinks later after a kiss and a cuddle we headed off back to her place and made passionate love.
While J was putting his clothes back on she said, "So, you're good looking, a nice guy and amazing in bed, can I ask why on earth you split with your girlfriend?"
Jack said, "My wife found out."

I got a private dance from a stripper.

When she was done, she gave me her phone number.
I said, "If I give you £50, will you come back to my place for a kiss and a cuddle?"
She said, "It will have to be more than that."
I said, "That's fine. What about s**...?"

My girlfriend's dog sprinted up to us wanting a cuddle.

"I love you, Henry," she said, s**... his fur.
"I love him more than you," I replied.
"I don't think so," she replied, "I definitely love him most."
I said, "You misunderstood me."

The other night, I asked a woman If she wanted to come back to my place for a cuddle.

She said, "There will be no spooning. There will definitely be no forking. But if you talk to me again, there will be a knifing."

I cuddle with my husband about two or three times a week.

I cuddle with my husband about two or three times a week.

Yeah? Me just once.

Oh, but wait, I thought you were single.

Ah I see. I thought we were talking about your husband.

Cuddle joke, Every day when I get home from work I kiss my front door, then I cuddle one of the walls, and I comf

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these cuddle jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.