Cucumber Water Jokes
8 cucumber water jokes and hilarious cucumber water puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about cucumber water that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Cucumber Water Funny Jokes to Tell Your Friends and Kids.
What is a good cucumber water joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
Jesus can walk over water
Jesus can walk over water. I can walk over a cucumber. A cucumber exists of 90% water. This means I'm 90% Jesus.
Cucumbers are 95% water, Jesus can walk on water...
I can walk on cucumbers so I am 95% Jesus.
What did the pickle say to the cucumber?
Come on in the water's brine!
i am not jesus
Jesus can wallk on water..,, correct?
Yess!
Well,.. I can walk on cucumbers. As you may know, cucumbers are 98% water. So
I am 98% Jesus.
;)
Why are cats so afraid of cucumbers?
Because they're 96% water
What do cats call cucumbers?
Water snakes
Tomato
Not sure if this translates well from my Albanian origins
So their was a farmer woman and she is tending her crops and notices her tomatoes are brown and rotten. She looks over to her neighbors and they were bright red and juicy.
So one day she sees her neighbor and asks him.
Her what's your secret? My tomatoes will never get like yours and I water them every day
Farmer says My secret is at night I water them n**... and they get embarrassed and blush
So she goes out at night and gets n**... and waters the tomatoes.
2 weeks go by and the neighbor sees her and asks how her tomatoes are doing.
She responds tomatoes are still brown and rotten but the cucumbers are long hard juicy and thick
Oasis
3 men are lost in the desert and dieing of dehydration. In the distance they see a small house with trees and gardens. As they near a morbidly obese woman approaches. They beg her for help. She looks at them and says,
"I will give you each something to eat or drink but first you must have s**... with me." The men look at her and are all disgusted by the rolls of fat, hair all over her body and skin lesions. They then look at each other and know what they have to do. One of them says,
"I'll go first." As he follows her into the hut he sees an ear of corn on the table. He grabs it and uses it to p**... her. After a few minutes he walks out with a glass of icy water and a large smile on his face. The other men look at each other and shrug their shoulders and the second volunteers. He follows the woman into the hut and sees a rolling pin. He uses that to p**... her. A few minutes later he walks out with a smile on his face and a large glass of milk.
Confused the third man walks into the hut and to his delight sees a cucumber to p**... her with.
Over an hour passes and the 2 men outside the hut are confused about what is taking so long. Finally the other man walks outside with nothing in his hands but a huge smile on his face. The first man asks,
"What are you smiling about?" which he replies,
"She made me a p**... of cream of corn soup."
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