Cubs Jokes

Following is our collection of hibernation puns and prey one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Cubs jokes for adults, dirty kneecap jokes and clean mlb dad gags for kids.

The Best Cubs Puns

Found 4 fox cubs

I called the ISPCA today and said, "I've just found a suitcase in the woods containing a fox and four cubs."

"That's terrible," the woman on the phone replied. "Are they moving?"

"I'm not sure, to be honest," I said, "But that would explain the suitcase."

A man is walking through the woods...

when he come across a suitcase. Inside the suitcase he finds a fox and her cubs. He dials animal control to report his discovery. The woman on the other end exclaims, "That's horrible... are they moving? The man responds, "I don't know but that would explain the suitcase"

What do cubs fans do after they win the world series?

They turn off their Xbox.

I was walking through the woods and found a suitcase containing a fox and four cubs...

I immediately called the RSPCA and told the lady on the other end.

"That's terrible," she replied. "Are they moving?"

"I'm not sure," I said, "But I guess that would explain the suitcase."

What's the best part about sleeping with a Cubs fan?

They're used to disappointment.

I'm still in a state of total shock

I mean the Cubs won the World Series

I am on the case prep team in law school. Our new fact pattern is based on the Sandusky Trial. What do you think of my theme for trial?

Coach Toledo may have been head coach of the Cougars, but he was not interested in the cougars. Coach Toledo was interested in the cubs.

Did anyone hear about the Grizzly who was sick of giving birth to naked cubs?

She could barely bear to bear bare bare bears.

Why are the bears such a bad football team?

Because when they were little, they were cubs.

I'm so sorry

How many gay guys does it take to flip a car?

We'll find out when the cubs win the World Series

Are they moving?

A man called his local animal control as he was walking through the woods-

Animal Control: Thanks for calling, how can we help you?

Man: I was walking through the woods and I found a suitcase in the bush, and inside was a Fox and 4 cubs.

Animal Control: Oh no, thats terrible. Are they moving?

Man: I don't know to be honest, but that would explain the suitcase.

They're dying the Chicago River blue in honor of the Cubs win...

It's the first time it will be blue since the French got there.

What do cubs fans do when the cubs make it to the World Series?

Yeah, cubs fans don't know either.

A hike with my girlfriend

Once I was hiking in the woods with my girlfriend when suddenly a huge bear charged right at us. We must've gotten close to her cubs or something. Luckily, I had my 9mm pistol with me. One shot to my girlfriend's kneecap was all it took to get away.

I'm glad the Chicago Cubs finally won the World Series.

108 years of hibernation just doesn't seem healthy.

A lion calls 911 and gets put on hold.

a couple of minutes later...

911 what is your emergency?

Jeez Finally! One of our lion cubs was eaten by a hyena!

Are the other cubs safe??

Well, I actually got really hungry while I was on hold...


where Leiceister City defies the odds of 3000/1 to win the league title, Cubs win the world series, and Donald Trump is elected as the president of the United States

To the Chicago Cubs

Thanks, you've doomed us all.

What Happens when the Cubs win the World Series?

...They Leave a Trail of Tears

What does a gay bear and The World Series have in common?

They can never have Cubs!

The Chicago Cubs have come a long way...


What's the similarity between a Cubs fan and a daily commuter?

They both take the L.

Things that have occurred in history since the Chicago Cubs last won a World Series...

I had an ice cream cone. That I dripped all over myself.

My wife gets really upset when I tell the same joke about a grizzly and her cubs at every party we go to.

But I think it's bears repeating.

The cubs should be thankful they played Cleveland and not Toronto

as Aroldis Chapman likes to keep his beatings Domestic.

I can prove global warming is real.

The Chicago Cubs are still playing its October already.

Off to the Chinese takeaway tonight and I'm going to try the sweet and sour badger with special fried badger cubs.

It's a sett meal for one.

What does a mama bear on birth control have in common with the world series?

No cubs

How do the Cubs get home after playing a game?

They take the L

What did every World Series before 2016 and gay bears have in common?

No Cubs.

How much did the Cubs pay the devil to win the World Series?


2016 has been a weird year: Trump could be president, killer clowns have been spotted en masse, and now this...

The Cubs have won the World Series.

Last time the Cubs won the World Series...

Last time the Cubs won the World Series the American empire still existed.

What do gay marriage and the Cubs have in common?

As senator, Hillary Clinton supported neither.

What's the best thing about being a Cubs fan?

Not being from Detroit.

There is an abundance of grizzly jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 35 funniest jokes and cubs puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any cub witze you can hear about cubs.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

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