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Cubs Jokes

50 cubs jokes and hilarious cubs puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about cubs that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Check out this collection of Cubs Jokes – from the rivalry with the Cardinals to the famous trade of Cougars for Camembert, these gags will keep you laughing during hibernation.

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Funniest Cubs Short Jokes

Short cubs jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The cubs humour may include short chicago bears jokes also.

  1. They won't be serving beer for the rest of the year at Chicago Cubs baseball games. They lost the opener.
  2. A lion offspring asked his dad "What is a world series?" "I don't expect you to understand son, you are just a Cub"
  3. Why are the bears such a bad football team? Because when they were little, they were cubs.
    I'm so sorry
  4. They're dying the Chicago River blue in honor of the Cubs win... It's the first time it will be blue since the French got there.
  5. What do cubs fans do when the cubs make it to the World Series? Yeah, cubs fans don't know either.
  6. I'm glad the Chicago Cubs finally won the World Series. 108 years of hibernation just doesn't seem healthy.
  7. 2016 where Leiceister City defies the odds of 3000/1 to win the league title, Cubs win the world series, and Donald Trump is elected as the president of the United States
  8. Things that have occurred in history since the Chicago Cubs last won a World Series... I had an ice cream cone. That I dripped all over myself.
  9. i know all my jokes are dad jokes but... You know what the majestic kodiak tells his cub...
    Bear with me.
  10. My wife gets really upset when I tell the same joke about a grizzly and her cubs at every party we go to. But I think it's bears repeating.

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Cubs One Liners

Which cubs one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with cubs? I can suggest the ones about baseball team and bear cub.

  1. What do cubs fans do after they win the world series? They turn off their Xbox.
  2. When does a cub become a boy scout? When he eats his first brownie
  3. What do you call a cub at it's smallest point? Bear minimum
  4. What does the Chicago Cubs's name stand for? Completely Useless By September
  5. What's the best part about sleeping with a Cubs fan? They're used to disappointment.
  6. I'm still in a state of total shock I mean the Cubs won the World Series
  7. What's blue and gold and comes in brownies? Cub Scouts.
  8. Why was the lion cub sent to jail? It was a child predator.
  9. The Chicago Cubs have come a long way... Four-nothing
  10. What do you call a baby cub before it starts teething? A gummy bear
  11. Why did Michael Jackson get kicked out of the cub scouts? He was up to a pack a day...
  12. To the Chicago Cubs Thanks, you've doomed us all.
  13. What Happens when the Cubs win the World Series? ...They Leave a Trail of Tears
  14. What's the similarity between a Cubs fan and a daily commuter? They both take the L.
  15. What did the mother lion say to her cubs before dinner? "Shall we prey!"

Chicago Cubs Jokes

Here is a list of funny chicago cubs jokes and even better chicago cubs puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I can prove global warming is real. The Chicago Cubs are still playing its October already.

Lion Cubs Jokes

Here is a list of funny lion cubs jokes and even better lion cubs puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What did the lions say to his cubs when he taught them to hunt?
    Don't go over the road till you see the zebra crossing.
Cubs joke

Uplifting Cubs Jokes to have Hilarious Fun with Friends

What funny jokes about cubs you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean baseball jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make cubs pranks.

Found 4 fox cubs

I called the ISPCA today and said, "I've just found a suitcase in the woods containing a fox and four cubs."
"That's terrible," the woman on the phone replied. "Are they moving?"
"I'm not sure, to be honest," I said, "But that would explain the suitcase."

A man is walking through the woods...

when he come across a suitcase. Inside the suitcase he finds a fox and her cubs. He dials animal control to report his discovery. The woman on the other end exclaims, "That's horrible... are they moving? The man responds, "I don't know but that would explain the suitcase"

I am on the case prep team in law school. Our new fact pattern is based on the Sandusky Trial. What do you think of my theme for trial?

Coach Toledo may have been head coach of the Cougars, but he was not interested in the cougars. Coach Toledo was interested in the cubs.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

Did anyone hear about the Grizzly who was sick of giving birth to n**... cubs?

She could barely bear to bear bare bare bears.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

How many gay guys does it take to flip a car?

We'll find out when the cubs win the World Series

A lion calls 911 and gets put on hold.

a couple of minutes later...
911 what is your emergency?
Jeez Finally! One of our lion cubs was eaten by a hyena!
Are the other cubs safe??
Well, I actually got really hungry while I was on hold...

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

What does a gay bear and The World Series have in common?

They can never have Cubs!

The cubs should be thankful they played Cleveland and not Toronto

as Aroldis Chapman likes to keep his beatings Domestic.

Off to the Chinese takeaway tonight and I'm going to try the sweet and sour badger with special fried badger cubs.

It's a sett meal for one.

What does a mama bear on birth control have in common with the world series?

No cubs

How do the Cubs get home after playing a game?

They take the L

How much did the Cubs pay the devil to win the World Series?

2016.

2016 has been a weird year: Trump could be president, killer clowns have been spotted en masse, and now this...

The Cubs have won the World Series.

Last time the Cubs won the World Series...

Last time the Cubs won the World Series the American empire still existed.

What do gay marriage and the Cubs have in common?

As senator, Hillary Clinton supported neither.

What's the best thing about being a Cubs fan?

Not being from Detroit.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

So, an elementary teacher in Chicago is on her first day at the job...

To get to know her students, she asks "Hey, which of you guys love the White Sox?" and everyone but one of her students exitedly raises their hands.
So she asks the single student why he doesn't love the White Sox. And the kid replies "Uh, I dunno... my mother was a cheerleader for the Cubs, and my dad played for them, and they met that way... so, of course I love them?".
And the teacher says "Oh. But you don't have to love a team because of your parents. If your father was a random p**... and your mother was some crack-w**...?".
"I guess then I'd be a White Sox fan...".

Cubs joke, So, an elementary teacher in Chicago is on her first day at the job...

jokes about cubs